End (1/1)

unedited, please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes.The tears came when the bitter realization hits me. I don’t have anywhere else to go, father will know if I went to Mihee unnie’s and if I stay here, he’ll take me away. My tight grip on the worn bag was loosened with hopelessness, it fell on my lap and stayed there until the tears dried. I looked up, only for my head to fall into my palms, the tiny light radiating from my phone shone steadily, unlike my heart.I make good decisions but that’s because I take my time making those. I am never indecisive, only it occurs to me that maybe I am because I need time to think before I make rash actions, time is not a friend of mine right now and the looming dark hurries me to decide.I shift closer to the clothes cabinet, If I close my eyes tighter and drown in these fabrics will I disappear? I shake the useless thoughts out of my head and bite back a whimper. My pupils are wide, searching for a tiny drop of light so I can see what I’ve been stuffing in my bag.“Noona?” A faint voice paired with a faint touch to my forearm. Oh no. I slowly stand up and slid my bag as far away as I can from us. I hiccup, hiding a sniff. “Hyuk.” I breathed out, my voice sounding disappointed. He responds with his touch, tangling his nimble digits on my wavy, cascading hair then, my shoulders his fingertips relishing the smooth skin.I gasp, not realizing I was holding my breath, when he pulled me closer. A hand strategically placed on the small of my back. My hands itched to touch him but they remain closed into tight fists. I don’t know what’s torturing me more, wanting to touch him but can’t or leaving him with nothing not even a hug or a kiss or more.He pushes me back, my hands clutching on his arms in the dark and envelopes me with his body and hides my form even though the dark doesn’t allow us both to be seen. He brushes his lips against mine and exhales because his fingertips reached my wet cheeks and he knows without seeing my red tinged nose and red-rimmed eyes that I’ve been crying. My hands fall back to my sides, so tightly closed my fingers felt like rock.He kisses me, drowning me with his lips. I can’t breathe. I’m so elated, nervous and sad all at the same time that I think I might just throw up. “Hyuk, stop.” I let his warm kisses to get cold and push him away.“Yejin noona.” He says my name with so much longing, like he misses me like he hadn’t seen me in years. It’s like my heart refused to beat and my lungs refused to work, it hurts and it feels like death.He doesn’t leave and just pace the room, he sees my phone carelessly thrown off to the side with its light still on. I can hear his footsteps approaching where my bag is before I could take it away he’s already analyzing its contents.“Noona, where are you going?” His footsteps so angry and fast as he clicks open the lights. My eyes burned from crying so much, staying awake all night and the harsh white light that’s hitting my eyes with so much intensity, my eyes burned even more and painful tears fall.“Nowhere” I lied or tried to, he doesn’t even flinch as I collect the bag and fling it inside the clothes cabinet and slide the door close. His eyes narrow at me, seething with curiosity and confusion I had to look away.“I’m coming with you.” His words scared me more than my father’s words.***I’m sorry. It was all I could say to him as my back hits the cool mattress. I can’t sleep here, it’s unsettling and on top of that he’s being stubborn by coming with me.“Are we eloping?” He asks with curiosity, hiding his face behind a hat.No.I shake my head at him, clenching my jaw and hiding behind my hoodie sinking lower until the large fabric swallows me. But it doesn’t, I’m still here and father will be looking for me. Or not, who knows he might just give up quickly and leave without me, then all of this will be for nothing.“Let’s go over there.” He points to a building and instantly warm blood pools the whole of my face and neck and the whole of my body. Beads of sweat shined my face. A love motel? Seriously? No.Desperation drowned my mortification but still, maybe I could just die of embarrassment then I won’t need to run away. I need to keep warm and we’ll die if we stayed out on the street. So I said yes.This is a bad idea. So yeah, because love motels are called as such they barely offer any privacy from the bathroom to the bedroom. Zero, none at all. Even the shower walls are clear and the bathtub is positioned directly in front of the bed, how fun.Not.I couldn’t even begin to think of what people did on this bed, and the bathtub and the shower. I blushed again, sweating bullets. I wanted to hide my face in the pillow but disgust over comes me and I settle for my hands.“You should go back Hyuk.” I couldn’t hear myself, my voice too soft. I swallowed and started again. “Go back.”“No.” “Aren’t you scared?” I pull myself up, directing my gaze to him and see him hesitating to sit on the bed and I soften. “Even just a little bit?”He shakes his head at me and beams. “This is-” “Well, I’m scared more than anything.” I confess, turning away from him and removing my hoodie, collecting my things and pooling them on the floor.“The fact that you’re younger than me scares me too.” I don’t know why I’m saying this, don’t even know why there’s any significance to the situation. “Do you remember when we first met?” I froze, like what I did when we first met.“I thought you were a block of ice.” He chuckles and my shoulders relax, the bed dips I conclude he’s already lying on it. “I like it when you shy away from people except from me. Even though you acted cold when we met and you froze because I’m so handsome.”I don’t know what to say.  “I know what you’re thinking noona. What can a guy younger than you has to offer, right?” I nod, feeling guilty I even think about feeling that way. “Our ages, like road distances or exam scores are just numbers in the long run they won’t matter.” I slowly look over to him,