Misconceptions of You & I (1/1)

Now that she’s gone for a second, I gotta remind you how superstitious Emilie is. She’s said it a few times: she blames everything on that hotel—getting caught by Mrs. Durand was a kick-start to bad things to come. She blames herself. But I don’t think that’s true; it's that it got harder to ignore the obvious, you know? Like centrifugal force—you can’t stop it once it starts. And that’s how it was with us: our relationship was just a force that couldn’t be stopped once it got rolling. So it was only a matter of time before people started getting in the way…            Okay, I can tell you're waiting for the movie part, but even though we had every intention on making it that night, things didn't go as planned. We headed upstairs after the dust settled and convinced no one was looking, and everything was going great long enough for Em and I to get back into the mood. I mean, I’d never been in a movie before—I only knew how to watch them. Taemin didn’t try to get involved and to be honest, I was really happy about this. Had Em asked I would have went along with it, but I was—like her—more wanting this to be an ‘us’ thing. I guess we could have managed to swing making a movie without him there, but… well… having a director and producer there was a lot easier than setting the damn thing on a tripod. You know: you got to see more, and different kinds of shots you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Er… yeah.            Anyway, Emilie kind of hinted at this earlier but I think Tae started picking up on the situation. Like, he kept teasing us in that way of his, and I thought at the time that he was just being nosey, but I admit he was more intuitive than either one of us. See, it wasn’t like he was ever in shortage of partners; Lee Taemin just got bored. He liked to be entertained; he liked to have fun. It was never really about the sex to him, it was about playing a game. He just generally liked to play one regardless of the type, and watching us—in every sense of the word—was just a new way to get his kicks. Which is why he told us what looked good and how to touch each other, how to do things slow and flirtatiously. It actually was kind of funny; he got into it and we spent the first few minutes laughing because it was so awkward.             “You don’t want a dirty fuck tape, do you?” he asked the more we played around, only for it to either come across as forced and awkward or fakely erotic. “Like, what kind of atmosphere are you going for here?”            I don’t think Em really had thought this part of it out. She looked just as confused as me. I didn’t know; I was just going along with it all for Emilie’s sake. This was her idea, her project...            “Are we going for just steamy, sexy—or is it…” he hovered mischievously here before saying, “romantic you’re going for~?”            I could tell it embarrassed Em for him to say this. It was cute, especially after she couldn’t answer the question.             “Can I recommend something?" Taemin continued once no one answered him, and this was where I assumed he was going bring up the threesome stuff again like the sneaky twink he was. But he surprised me when he said: "I mean, if you’re gonna put the effort into making a movie, you don’t want it to be a twenty-second hump-time, right? You want amp it up. No ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ stuff.”            Seriously, who says that any more...           “And please, Mrs. Choi, let’s do this with a real camera. You guys should come to my house. No one is there; no one would ever know. We can make a nice set-up and do this right—”             He was making sense, sure. This was a guy that got paid to service others and liked it, so leave it to him to be able to design a situation to meet the mood he thinks his client(s) wants. Maybe I was just drunk or maybe I was too horny, because even though Em and I were both quiet, mulling over all the possibilities that Taemin had obviously spent the better part of the night plotting out beforehand, I honestly was ready to go for it now. I was just waiting to get it on. The tease in the pool was only going to get me so far; I was ready to get back into the good stuff. It was almost four a.m by now but I didn’t really notice. The house was quiet and the time seemed slow.              O: I’m still waiting for you to spring the orgy on me…            M: What? There wasn’t one, I swear.               O: Weren’t you two bored, only having one other partner in the mix?            M: Like I said, I only went along the threesome thing because I thought Emilie wanted it.            O: Uh-huh. And she says the same thing about you.            M: Right. So, it was kind of a misconception…            O: Lucky kid to be on the receiving end of so big a… ‘misconception.’            M: Well, I mean that’s the thing—Taemin played his game and kept winning, sure, but he also… well, I think he just changed the rules of the game once he realized what was on the line.            O: Explain this; quickly, before Mrs. Choi comes back. She seems to like to dance around the subject.            M: Why do you have so many questions about Taemin, anyway?            O: I’m not surprised you haven’t zeroed in on this yet, being as self-consumed as you both are.            M: Self-consumed? We’re not self-consumed…            O: No, you’re right. Please continue where you left off—a private sex-tape of you and your stepmother, was it…?             Er—I think the movie thing might have happened that night had Key not interrupted the mood. I saw the text the next day: the one he sent Jonghyun immediately after he caught us in the pool. ‘I owe you an apology…’ it said. ‘And—other things, I suppose.’            The two of them had a bet whether or not Taemin was telling the truth about the whole three-way stuff: Key figured out easily enough that Em and I were a thing but held out that maybe Taem was exaggerating his part of things. Once he saw it with his own eyes though, well, he realized how right Jonghyun actually was. So, once the text came through, it was also around the time that apparently Hyuna let it slip that she was a lesbian who only ‘experimented’ with cocks in special circumstances for her girlfriends—all hell broke loose on the second floor of our house. See, no one but me actually knew that Hyuna and Emilie were ‘a thing’ of some sort (though she said she really hadn't messed around with her since we got together).             “What’s it like to be with a woman~?” Jonghyun had asked Em way earlier than night.            “I don’t know—what it’s like to be with a man?” she threw back at Jonghyun quicker than lightening. They teased each other easily; she always seemed two steps ahead of his deviant mind.           At the time he asked this, that night in the pool, he was referring to the Truth-or-Dare game when she admitted to bisexual experiences. So when he found out that he was actually screwing one of her ‘experiences’—that just changed the game in his mind. Big time. You’d think someone in that circumstance would mind their own business but with Kim Jonghyun, everyone’s business was his business, so it didn’t take him long to find us. He didn’t have any boundaries—especially when alcohol and sex were in question.                      We hadn’t even gotten around to do anything really. We’d been discussing how this whole filming thing then started kissing and pawing each other awkwardly on the bed. But it was enough: I mean, when Jonghyun and Hyuna came in the door, the totally saw us making out there, while Taemin busily filmed it on his phone—which, let’s face it, looked all fucking kinds of weird and impossible to explain without saying what it was.            “Ah, man—what?!” Jonghyun whined and pouted like an oversexed toddler. “All that effort I put into it and you’re in here making movies for real? What the hell, Mrs. C? You’ll fuck these kids—but not me? You’ve got this hot-ass girlfriend right here and you won’t go down on her with me? I can take you both. Hell, I can take you all. I'm all man, baby. All man...”               By this time Key and Jinki came to see what the hell that T-Rex was roaring about also. It wasn’t like Key didn’t know what he’d started—I think he was surprised that ‘John’ would have so quickly checked his phone given he had someone else to play with. Or maybe he did it on purpose. Maybe. It’s hard to say with those two. They were like a fox and hound, always chasing and biting at each other; sometimes playfully, sometimes in spite.            “I’m sorry. I thought he knew,” Hyuna said with a small shrug. She seemed only mildly affected by it all. Almost bored.           Emilie looked like a deer in headlights; I guess I did too. It was weird and no one really knew what to say, or how to explain why the three of us were all half naked in her room. Even Taemin stayed quiet. I mean, it wasn’t really like there was much to say now that it was all in the open.            “He did know—we all did,” answered Key, who thought that the girl was talking about the three-way, not the fact that she was her past lover.            “You all know what?” I finally added to the mix, totally confused and mystified over what was happening.            Jinki stood in the doorway quietly, watching and studying the situation while Key folded his arms and sighed: “Pul~lease, Choi. Everyone knows you’re banging your stepmom. You two don’t even try to hide it? And do I even want to know why there’s a fucking phone in your lap, Taemin? Are you recording this? You are all crazy, I swear—are you trying to get caught, bringing this baby into your twisted shit? Do you have some kind of death-wish??”            “I told you—I told you they were all banging!! Plus hot chicks too?! Please let me get in on this action so I can die happy!”            “I’m just here to do a favor—” Taemin attempted with little success.            “ ‘Favor.’ That’s a nice way to put it…” Jong scoffed. “I can do you a real big favor, Mrs. Choi, if you’d give me a chance…”            “What are you all high-and-mighty about, Key? You’ve done more people in this room than anyone.” I was getting super annoyed, even a little angry—I mean, give me a break here: I’d been denied any releasing action for hours now and stuffed into scrutiny by a bunch of hypocrites who peddled their bodies for profit while I had only ever in my life had these two people as partners.            “At least none of them are related to me!!”            “What’s happening—is this a fight?”            “Nobody’s fighting,” said Jinki. “Everyone just needs to calm the fuck down.”            Tensions were high for reasons that had little to do with what was actually happening. Key was jealous over Jong’s attention, we all knew that; Jong just wanted to screw everyone in big ways—he would have been down with an orgy if the chance came up, for sure. That’s just the kinda guy he is. Taemin had gone rogue verbally, as he always did when he felt like his mentors disapproved of his choices, while Emilie stayed rigid and mute, leaving me feeling like a dumbass trying to fix a situation I didn’t understand. Why the hell was it anyone's business anyway. This was my fucking house. My fucking stepmother. I was getting so tired of having to apologize for shit I wasn't even sorry for.             “Uh… you know, this is all kinda too much drama for me,” said Hyuna then. “This is why I don’t hang around high-school kids. It’s late, Em; I’m gonna split.”            “Wait—where you going, baby~? Wasn’t I good for you?” Jong called out after her, but she’d already left the room, clearly disinterested. "Come back, baby, come back~"            I didn’t give a shit that Hyuna was leaving. I don’t think anyone really did, save for the guy who’d used her like a pincushion the entire night. To be honest, the atmosphere had gotten so weird that the whole movie thing was so not gonna happen. It was clear. And I was frustrated in lots of ways.            “I get it: you like each other, you like to sleep around,” said Jinki to me and Em. “I don’t see what the big deal is personally; if it makes you happy, be happy. You can count on us to keep your secrets.” Jinki was a true diplomat. Plus he was the fucking boss. As easily as that, Kibum settled down and Jong, who’d come back with his tail between his legs, got quiet. “Taemin’s good at games, Bummie, but he’s smart enough to see what he’s involved in.”          “It’s just a favor, I swear…”          “Jonghyun—you...” he sighed, as if he'd just had enough of his bullshit to last for one final time. "You’re never going to be happy unless I give into your request. I know it, you know it, he knows it... so, if Kibum’s okay with it, I’ll go along—as long as you leave Minho and his stepmom alone. She clearly doesn’t want you.”          I didn’t even want to know. I could use my imagination if I wanted to—but I didn’t. Let them work out whatever they wanted in their own time; I didn’t really care. Truthfully, Jong and Key both looked stunned about whatever it was, so it must have been a good arrangement on some level. I was just glad it’d get Jonghyun off Em’s back. And it made me love the formidable peacekeeping Jinki that much more.             O: So that’s it? Your big exciting night with lots of secrets just dwindled into empty promises and blue-balls? This is such a let-down. The lesbian hottie is a nice touch though. I think John had the right idea.            M: You are seriously the worst policeman ever.            O: Oh, have you met many? Got some other closets we need to dig through while I’m here?            M: I think you’re enjoying this closet enough.            O: I’m still waiting to see how this plays into it. I mean, since you and Stepmom insist it's important to your case. You’re just making things worse though. Key, your little whore friend is clever; you should've listened more to him.            M: Maybe.            O: They're a colorful bunch and all, but I really don't care about whatever weirdo thing they had going on. The kid is an exception, but only because you both made him one. So, get back to the taping please...            M: It didn’t happen that night. Like I said.            O: You know, I gotta admit: it’s pretty good. I mean, the little bit I've seen. Can't wait to watch more. Hell, wouldn’t want to lose the evidence; I’ll probably have to copy it…            M: You’re just a pervert in a suit and tie, you know that? I don’t really care what you do with it because I have nothing to be sorry for. But please don’t say that kinda shit when she comes back. She’s been humiliated enough and I don't think she's figured out that footage is now going to be... on display.            O: You are probably the most protective kid I’ve ever met.            M: I’m not a kid.             O: What do they call that—Electra complex? Is that what we got going on here? Haven’t had to brush up on my Freud in awhile…              M: Oedipus. Electra wasn’t Freud anyway, it was Jung. Oedipus Rex was Sophocles.            O: So you’ve actually got some brains in there. Too bad you didn’t use them more; maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here having this delightful chat had you exercised your brain instead of your dick.            M: Then how would you get off at night, sir?              O: You do realize how stupid you were, don’t you? Both of you. You got caught—over and over.            M: Maybe I wanted to get caught.            O: That’s hardly being a good protective son…            M: She didn’t, but I did.                               O: Why?            M: Because I was sick and tired of secrets.            O: Spoken like a true Oedipus.                          Like she said, we couldn't make this kind of thing alone, and we definitely couldn't do it at our house. So we took Taemin up on his offer. Not the next day, but the day after that. We’d learned the first time—via our director—that it was important to have some kind of theme. That going into it and ‘fucking it out’ wouldn’t make for the best movie, and that a phone wouldn’t doesn't make the best camera.            "Any one can make an amateur film," he'd said, "those are a dime a dozen. Boring and unoriginal. But hardly anybody can make the kind of memory you're looking for. Good thing you have me~"            He wanted to make a real movie; I mean, I imagine he’d already had a set-up for this sort of thing anyway, being that he was kinky and all. He told us to look nice in a ‘porn way’ and not come over looking bad, unless we wanted a bad looking movie. Though it didn’t really matter once Taemin saw Emilie, who proceeded to primp her, obviously disappointed that she didn’t look like what he’d imagined his leading actress would.             “Let me handle everything,” he said, taking her by the hand into the other room. He reminded me so much of his mentor at the moment that I couldn’t help but laugh. His fairy side came out in full measure during this project. He’d fixed a ‘set’ for us—candles and all sorts of shit; preconceived lighting, angles. Made the bed and rearranged the furniture. It was really funny to watch him; he was like a little professional porno maker. It was cute and kinda sweet.            "You surprise me, Taemin," I told him on the sly while Em was busy. "I'd think you be into dirty shit, not classy movies~"            "This isn't for me, now is it, Mango...?"            That shut me up about that for the rest of the night. He was right. From that point on I just waited, acted out my part like a good boy. Nervous but happy I was about to get some. While he fixed up Em so meticulously for me; I continued to wait, and wait some more, at the edge of the bed impatiently. Anxiously...            When I saw her though—goddamn. Think what you want about Lee Taemin, but I will say this: Taemin knew how to get a good reaction. Taemin fucking knew. He knew what he was doing when he got her ready for her star role. He dressed Emilie in a sexy outfit, pushed her boobs up in a nice corset and fluffed her hair, fixed her makeup and put her in heels and a robe because somehow he remembered I’d said I liked her this way (I honestly don’t remember telling him this detail, but he assured me I had). This probably all seems weird to you, but—                      M: Huh? No, let’s just say, for the sake of timing and story, that the rest of that party night was unsuccessful. Anyway, would it matter? That’s not the night the movie was made. I've said that like five times now.            O: Then I’m going to pretend that the big orgy really happened, if only for my benefit. I’ll just keep that off the record.            M: Pretend away. I don’t give a shit what you’re into.            O: You talk more openly when she isn’t here. Straight to the point. You obviously care about what she thinks of you.            M: So? Do you want me to get to the tape or not?            O: Yeah, but keep it nice and detailed. I can tell she’s going to be awhile. Must be rough, huh?            M: I really wouldn’t know.            O: So many surprises for so many people, some more than others. Don’t you even wonder…?              M: I believe her.            O: Of course. Everything she does is gold, right?            M: I guess.            O: There’s another name for that, you know—            M: You make it sound like a bad thing.            O: No, not bad. Just, it really did start to complicate things, didn’t it?            M: That’s exactly why she brought up the party…            O: All right. Let’s get back into it then. And tell it slowly, if you wouldn't mind...              So. Emilie looked stunning, fucking stunning. Well you know. Any guy would be crazy to say otherwise. I mean, I forgot for a second we were making a porno. Somewhere along the way I forgot that this was a game; it wasn't funny anymore. It became serious and seductive. I forgot, because she was so perfect that she made me forget every goddamn thing in the world whenever I looked at her. It was really strange—as I sat there, watching her come closer to me with a soft, shy expression (damn, her boobs were really pushed up; I have no idea how Taemin even stuffed them into that thing like that…), her stockings and heels that made her legs look a five miles long, her heavy ‘movie’ make-up and styled red hair that fell over her shoulders and cascaded over her chest—I had this really weird thought that popped into my head then that she actually looked… kinda bridal. I mean, in my defense, the corset was white. And she was all done up like a model. Maybe Taemin did that on purpose too; part of the game he’d reinvented in his mind.            “Come here… ” I said quietly to her, taking her hand and pulling her onto the mattress. I’d forgotten Taemin was there. I swear to god, I was mesmerized by her. She was the only thing I saw. The only thing I noticed in the room, especially because she was smiling and playing with the hem of her robe—I’d not expected this. I liked it. A lot. She seemed so feminine and frail. Young. Gorgeous.            I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, her lips red and alluring, and as our kissing intensified, changing from small short pecks to long consuming dance of tongues, it didn’t take long before the atmosphere was charged and seductive—ready, passionate. She let her robe fall to the ground, allowing me to explore her curves with my hands. We didn’t talk really; didn’t try to make the movie a thing that it wasn’t by throwing around cheesy lines or acting out fantasy. To be honest, I think she forgot about it too, the way she melted into my body, the way I rolled her onto her back, our lips still locked together. I dropped my hand to her chest and held it there, feeling the vibrations of her moan enter my mouth. I didn’t grope at her or move things too fast. We kept it slow. Slow and sensuous, just like our director instructed—even though we both forgot the fuck about him long before this.            I kept my hand over her, feeling the roll of her breathing underneath my palm before slowly tugging on the ribbon responsible for tying the corset together. I wanted to expose her cleavage in order to kiss there too; gently, sweetly. Her skin smelled like vanilla; a faint hint of baby powder. She was trembling a little, in the sexiest of ways. It reminded me of our first time...             I stopped then and swept back her hair off her shoulders and leaned in real close, so that I could whisper directly in her ear the words not meant for camera to record: “My Em… my gorgeous gorgeous Em. You nervous, baby?”            She shook her head and hitched her leg over mine, clinging onto me as she pleaded with her lips for me to kiss her. In my peripheral vision I was aware that our videographer was moving around the room in order to get the shots otherwise blocked by the tangling of legs. But I didn’t care. Like I said, it wasn’t even about the movie anymore; it was about me giving Emilie everything she wanted. About driving her crazy the only way I knew how—             I trailed my fingers down the latticed ribbon, following the lace and wire down her abdomen until I reached the silk panties, that soft beaded fabric covering the part of her I couldn’t wait to explore. I petted there with desperate impatience before sliding further down her leg and massaging her thigh.             If she wanted a fucking show, I was gonna give it to her. I’d give her anything she wanted, and more…   _________________              Oh, I came in just in time. Maybe I should take over this part considering I was the one who, you know—I’m guessing you'll notice it any way when you watch the... evidence.             So, we spent an unusually long time kissing. I think because we were both nervous it only amped our hormones. The knowledge that someone was watching and filming us—it made me feel both insecure and sexy at the same time. Not to mention the fact we were both sober (mostly). Okay, the three of us did a few shots before it all started to loosen the nerves. Either way, I could tell it actually made Minho more confident because he had something to prove. It forced us to be slower. It forced us to enjoy parts that we usually sped through in order to get to the prize. It became one of the most erotic and sensual times we’d ever shared—and now, we’re able to watch it whenever we want. Sure, it may have came at a high price, but I don’t regret it; in fact, I think it was one of the best ideas I’ve ever had. Because it was us. Because we had fun.             We didn’t just stick with ‘safe’ positions and boring run-of-the-mill stuff. By the time ten minutes passed he’d unlaced my corset, undressing me like a delicate gift; but before that he slowly, very slowly, eased my panties down my legs, taking his time, and then pressed his pelvis against my pubic bone, which caused me to let out a deep sigh. I held onto the back of his neck. He was so hard, I could tell even through his jeans. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait—I mean, I already mentioned I’m not one for foreplay. I have a hard time being teased. I get impatient, desperate, crazy...              “Please…” I muttered. That’s all I remember. I may have said other things too, I don't know. It wasn’t that Taemin gave us a script; we weren’t role-playing, but he definitely gave some pointers about how to make good transitions.             The movie you have it the actually edited—so it's pretty long. At least fifty minutes' worth. I really think Taemin enjoyed his role in this project. At any rate, I was happy with it. Mostly. It was about the forty-five minute mark that was the problem. That's when it all happened; my big, stupid mouth. I remember very specifically...            We were naked and on the bed, him on top of me, grinding and pulsing nice and deep and slow and all kinds of perfect, making out of me a moaning creaming mess, when all of a sudden I say, breathily by pure impulse and ZERO discernment as I wrapped my arms around his broad sweat-lined shoulders, eyes closed tight as his perfect body filled mine—            That's when I said it: the stupidest, most ridiculous thing I could have said... EVER.                        “I love you…”            Those words. Those three fucking words jumped out of my mouth: otherwise totally simple words that were anything but ‘simple’ now. I panicked the minute they sprung to life in the air. I’d never said it before; it wasn’t premeditated. It just came out, all on its own, a shock even to me.           It had to be the shots I took earlier. Had to...             “Did she just say I love you?” I imagined Taemin thinking. I pictured him over there, behind his camera lens, judging the hell out of me while waiting for Minho to flip out, freak out—whatever terrible reaction that was coming my way, I waited for it. Waited to see if he’d heard. If he had, he didn’t make any noise or movement to show it. I started thinking that maybe I’d gotten away with it—maybe I was lucky and no one really heard it at all…           It doesn’t seem like he heard, after all. Holy Christ, I can’t believe—SHIT.           I was blushing like crazy, completely distracted. Minho, a few strides behind, seemed to notice this suddenly and stopped to ask me if I was okay. But I couldn't look at him, couldn't look in his eyes, which only made me feel that much guiltier. Embarrassed. I tried to ignore myself; tried to ignore the sudden knowledge that my feelings were more complicated than I was admitting. In a way, I had continued to push every envelope because I thought I was addicted to the thrill of him, the naughtiness of it—the risk and forbiddingness of it all. Our summer had been a rollercoaster of intense passion but here I was, whispering secret words in his best friend's house, being taped having sex with my son—and it was this, mere words not actions, that proved to be the riskiest game of all. And definitely the most forbidden...          “Does it… not feel good? What’s wrong, babe...?” he said, stroking the side of my face.          “It’s just… weird with someone watching, you know…” I totally lied. Totally. He was the only one I was aware of in that room. He was everything my attention was focused on.          “Tell him to fuck off. Do you want me to? I will if you want—”          I shook my head. I really didn’t care. “No, let’s finish…” I muttered, hiding my expressions from both him and the camera.          Truth was, by this point I was trying not to cry. I had to zone out in order to get back into the groove. Min started thrusting again and I dug my nails in his back as a sign to keep going. But as he picked up his pace I felt compelled to hide my face in his neck, burying my eyes which held far too much evidence than I was ready to expose. It was the only thing I could think of to do. It was just better to act like nothing had happened; to just pretend I never said anything at all, and hope to God that he wasn't pretending too…   ________________A/N: Em Em, you're playing a dangerous game... Can you figure out all the little details that have gone unsaid? Can you solve the mysteries~? I swear, there are no red herrings or useless details. Of course, I'm not going to tell you if you're wrong or right - what fun would that be?! All things will come together soon; then you'll have to go through and read it again and say, "Oooohhh, I get it now..." For those of you following the spin-off story, there will be an orgy detour based on this chapter. Hooray! So, I guess in a way the officer gets his wish and so do we. :3  And there will definitely be a Jong x Hyuna detour too so we can 'watch' them a little more intimately. ;)