chapter 2 (1/1)

Chapter 2

When Wonwoo awakes next morning, he finds Mingyu on his bed, laptop on his thighs. He mumbles a sleepy greeting and Mingyu chirps back an excited “Morning!” Mingyu’s always been the early riser out of the two of them. Wonwoo wouldn’t be surprised if his best friend had already done his run and showered. “Dude. We have 25 fucking subscribers! That was probably the easiest 200 bucks we’ve ever made.” Mingyu laughs, sounding so damn happy that Wonwoo can’t help but quirk a smile too. “Oh shit! We just got another subscriber. The people love us, man.” Wonwoo lies on his side, half his face smushed into his pillow, as he watches Mingyu smile at his screen. 25 subscribers isn’t all that much in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a decent amount of money made in their sleep and 24 subscribers more than what Wonwoo had excepted. “That’s surprising. I can’t imagine why anyone would pay to see you,” he says, congratulating himself for sounding neutral. “It was all me.” “Asshole,” Mingyu says fondly. “You need to read the comments, though. They’re in love with you. And you say you can’t get date,” he teases.  “Hey, wanting to have sex with someone is very different from wanting to date someone.” His words are a reminder to himself, that while Mingyu is willing to have sex with him, it doesn’t mean Mingyu wants to be with him. With a sigh, Wonwoo pushes himself out of bed. He doesn’t want to think about this and start his morning off on the wrong foot, but now that it’s crossed his mind, he can’t help but feel agitated. “So I was thinking… Maybe we could pre-film videos on the weekends and post on Mondays? We can call it ‘Meanie Mondays’. Everyone loves alliteration.” Wonwoo nods his assent. He says, “Shower,” and wobbles to the bathroom without waiting for a response. He misses the way Mingyu looks up from his laptop to frown at his back.

Wonwoo stands under the shower, chewing pensively at his thumb. This is a Huge Fucking Mistake. If he tells Mingyu that he no longer wants to do this, he has no doubt Mingyu would accept his decision—no questions asked. The problem though, is that he does want this with Mingyu. He just wants it to mean something too. He’s worried that in moments when he’s drugged up on pleasure, he’ll let slip something he never would otherwise. After what happened last night, he doesn’t think he can look at Mingyu without giving himself away. Mingyu picks up on clues quickly. He’s terrified that during normal moments when they’re just eating or doing homework, Mingyu will look at him and just know that Wonwoo carries a torch for him. Wonwoo’s mind strays and yesterday’s images come back to him shockingly clear: the pupils of Mingyu’s eyes pleasure-blown, the flush of his cheeks and the way Mingyu looked at him like he was the only thing that mattered at the moment; how Mingyu had said in a sex-roughed voice, ‘Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you... You just gotta ask.’ And standing under the spray of water, Wonwoo starts to get hard. He balances himself with one hand on the tiled wall in front of him; his other hand shakily goes to grip his length.  As usual, he (half-heartedly) tries to think of others: the boy in the gym locker rooms that had looked a little too intently at him while he was changing… the cute girl in the library making eyes at him. He thinks about her delicate frame, her small breasts under a lacy floral shirt; how easily he’d be able to dominate her. And as usual, her features fade into those of his best friend’s. Wonwoo doesn’t even get frustrated the way he used to. He’s learned to accept it.  He jerks himself hard and fast before Mingyu starts banging on the door to call him for breakfast, like he’s prone to doing. He has real material to work with, now that he knows what it feels like to have Mingyu’s hands on him and now that he knows how delirious moans sound on his best friend’s lips. ‘Come on, babe…’  He remembers Mingyu’s voice to such a likeness it’s as though the other is speaking those words into his ear. With stuttered strokes and a hoarse cry, Wonwoo comes, his release streaking the tiles.  “I hate myself,” Wonwoo groans as he wipes away his come with his fingers. Wonwoo wasn’t sure what the expect the morning after, but he didn’t expect their day to be so painfully normal. Mingyu doesn’t act any differently. He stills slings an arm around Wonwoo’s neck, still presses into Wonwoo’s side when they watch TV and overshares. Mingyu acts like sex didn’t change a damn thing between them, and Wonwoo doesn’t know if he should be disappointed or relieved. Wonwoo, however, quickly discovers that he can’t make eye contact with Mingyu without remembering the way his best friend looked at him that night. Watching his best friend is no problem—God knows he’s stolen enough glances while the other wasn’t looking. But the moment Mingyu turns to him, Wonwoo’s whipping his head away so fast he just about snaps his neck. He doesn’t offer much in terms of conversation, just nods and listens to Mingyu talk. Whenever he sits down on the sofa, he makes sure to keep his distance from Mingyu, even if it means squeezing against the armrest. (This doesn’t actually do anything; Mingyu will inch closer and closer to him until he’s almost sitting on Wonwoo’s lap.) He doesn’t trust his body not to react.  Mingyu notices his behaviour, of course, and Wonwoo can feel those concerned eyes on him. * * * SEUNGCHEOL: hey u and mingyu wanna come over? WONWOO: and do what? SEUNGCHEOL: nothing WONWOO: i could do that at home SEUNGCHEOL: or you could do nothing with jeonghan and me SEUNGCHEOL: come bring ur laptop and food Normally he’d turn down the offer, but he didn’t want to be alone with Mingyu today. He shows Mingyu the texts, half hoping the other would tell him to go alone, but where Wonwoo goes, Mingyu follows, and this is no exception. They make the ten minute walk to Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s place in their pajamas, laptops tucked under their arms and a bag of salty snacks in each of their hands. Jeonghan and Seungcheol are playing video games when they arrive and Mingyu kicks off his shoes to go join them. Wonwoo walks to the kitchen, rooting through the cupboards for bowls to put the snacks in. Mingyu looks up and smiles when he sees Wonwoo approaching. There’s an empty seat beside him and Wonwoo realises with a jolt that Mingyu expects him to sit there. They always sit together—it’s an unspoken rule. Anyone who sits beside Mingyu knows to vacate the seat once Wonwoo arrives. So when Wonwoo sets down his laptop and snacks, and sits down cross-legged on the floor beside Seungcheol instead, it’s a rare enough occurrence that both Seungcheol and Jeonghan look at him strangely. Fuck, he shouldn’t have done that. It’s just going to invite questions he doesn’t know how to answer because he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Avoiding eye contact with anyone, Wonwoo grabs a Wii controller. “You guys playing Smash? Can I play?” Wonwoo asks. “You hate this game,” Jeonghan says carefully, glancing at Mingyu. Wonwoo hurries to say something before Jeonghan can put all the clues together. “Yeah, because I suck at it. I should probably learn since this is all you guys play.” Seungcheol laughs. “What do you expect? We’re broke. This is the only game we can afford.” “I can teach you,” Mingyu says, sliding down from the sofa to sit beside him, close as usual, but this time the press of Mingyu’s arm against his own feels foreign.  Wonwoo has to bite back a groan. Mingyu can’t take a damn hint and he finds it both endearing and frustrating. “But you suck at this game too,” he points out. Mingyu makes an offended noise. “At least I know the controls. And I’m not bad at this game. Jeonghan and Seungcheol are just too good because they don’t play anything else.” He wonders if it’s necessary to sit this close to someone when teaching them how to play a game. Mingyu is so far into his personal space he’s practically nosing at Wonwoo’s neck. He can’t help how stiff he goes—he can smell Mingyu’s shampoo and cologne—and he leans further against Seungcheol even as Mingyu edges towards him. With an annoyed sound, Seungcheol shoves him back so hard he ends up knocking heads with Mingyu. “Asshole! What was that for?” Mingyu glares, rubbing his head. “If you guys are done flirting, maybe we could actually play.” Wonwoo ducks his chin, feeling his cheeks heat up. Flirting was the last thing on his mind. In fact, he’d been going out of his way to avoid anything that could be interpreted as flirting. “We weren’t flirting,” Mingyu says. Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “No, I understand. I know how important it is to whisper instructions right into someone’s ears. Gotta make sure they hear everything you’re saying, right?” “Don’t be annoying, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says, and Wonwoo shoots his friend a grateful look. The smile he gets in return, however, says, We will talk about this later, and Wonwoo swallows nervously. Their evening ends up as uneventful as Wonwoo had expected it to be. After games and dinner, the four of them lie on their stomachs in a row, each of them browsing the internet and minding their own business. Jeonghan, bless him, squeezes in between Wonwoo and Mingyu, ignoring the latter’s complaints. Admittedly, Wonwoo feels a bit lonely because while he and Mingyu have been in the same room the entire day, they haven’t exactly been talking. He needs space right now to figure out what he really wants (Mingyu) and what he’s willing to risk to chase after it (their friendship). He just has to keep Jeonghan around for a while longer as a cockblock so he can actually think without being swayed by his best friend’s good looks and attention. He knows Mingyu’s worried about him, but the other hadn’t approached him, either. So Wonwoo somehow manages to convince himself that this distance is something he can maintain, that Mingyu would take a hint and leave him alone for a little while.  But then they return to their apartment and Mingyu rounds on him as soon as the door closes behind them. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’ve been acting so damn awkward around me.” Wonwoo can hear the hurt in Mingyu’s voice, the unspoken, You promised me you wouldn’t get all weird. “I’m always this awkward.” “Yeah, around strangers maybe, but never me.” Mingyu huffs and runs a hand through his hair. “This is about the video we made, isn’t it? I’m sorry, okay? We probably shouldn’t have tested our friendship like that, but I thought you were cool with it and you seemed to be feeling good so—fuck, I don’t know. I thought it’d be a good way to make money.” He knows Mingyu is blaming himself even though Wonwoo was the one to agree to it, and Mingyu had given him plenty of time to back out. “I’m sorry, too. I just… don’t know how to act around you anymore. What we did was a pretty big deal to me.” Wonwoo catches himself and rephrases his words, “I mean, I’ve never done anything like that before with anyone—” shut up, shut up, shut up, you’re digging yourself into a deeper grave “—and we made a damn porno out of it. It’s just too fucking weird and I’m confused—” Stop talking! Mingyu’s expression softens. “What are you confused about?”

He’s confused that Mingyu even suggested making porn together just because they’re best friends, but normal best friends don’t do that sort of thing, right? So what did it mean? Hell, it might not even mean anything. Maybe Mingyu’s just more desperate to make money than he thought. If he weren’t so mixed up in his own feelings, maybe this would seem like a good idea to him, too. Wonwoo just shakes his head. Thankfully, Mingyu doesn’t push for an answer. “We won’t do it anymore then, ‘kay? What happened… that was just two friends helpin’ each other out.” Wonwoo nods and gives Mingyu a shy smile. Mingyu grins boyishly at him in return. “Great, glad we got that all worked out. Now you can give me attention again.” * * * It takes Wonwoo two weeks to resume acting normal enough that Mingyu no longer gives him sad little looks (Like a puppy whose owner took away his favourite toy, Jeonghan had said). Three weeks later, Wonwoo decides to torture himself by checking his pathetic bank balance online. Instead, he finds Mingyu had transferred $498.95 into his account. When Mingyu returns home from class, Wonwoo greets him with, “What the hell was that for?” Mingyu raises a brow at him, dumping his backpack on the floor and hanging up his jacket. “What are you talking about?” “You transferred five hundred dollars into my bank account.” “Oh yeah, that.” Wonwoo has never heard his best friend speak so nonchalantly about that much money. “It’s your share of the money we made.” “Are you serious? We made that much money from just one video?” Mingyu shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “Well, I’ve still been making videos.” Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do with that information, so he just stands there and stares at Mingyu. And stares, and stares. He doesn’t linger on the jealousy that flickers through him at the thought of his best friend jerking himself off or fingering himself or god knows what else for others’ viewing pleasure. Maybe he’s even found someone else to make more videos with—no. Mingyu would never do that. And even if he did, it’s not like Mingyu belongs to him. It’s not really any of his business, what his best friend does.  “Oh,” Wonwoo says finally. “Yeah.” “So… It’s your money. Not mine. I’m going to send it back to you, okay?” Mingyu waves him off. “Don’t worry about it. We don’t know if people are subscribing because of my videos or that first one we did together.” “It’s your money,” Wonwoo says again firmly. “I’m not going to take something you worked for. Five hundred bucks is a lot of money, unless you’ve secretly been a millionaire all along…?” Mingyu laughs. “Trust me, if I became a millionaire overnight, you would be the first to know. Seriously, Wonwoo, it’s fine. Just keep it. Since when have we ever worried about this ‘your money, my money’ thing anyway?” This is true. They’ve long stopped keeping track of how much they owed the other, even dipping into each other’s wallets when they couldn’t find their own. “... Fine,” Wonwoo acquiesces. The money will go towards Mingyu’s birthday present.  * * * Mingyu is still making videos. Wonwoo is twenty and horny and crushing on his best friend. It’s normal to be curious. If anything, it’s Wonwoo of all people who has a right to watch Mingyu’s videos. He has a moral obligation to make sure that his best friend isn’t doing anything crazy.  Which is why after Mingyu falls asleep, Wonwoo sneaks out of their bedroom with his laptop in hand. He goes to the bathroom and locks the door behind him. Putting down the toilet seat, Wonwoo sets his laptop on the cover and sits down on the tiles. He couldn’t concentrate the entire day, thinking about Mingyu touching himself in front of the camera, waiting for some time alone so he could check out the videos. He had told himself he wouldn’t jerk off to his best friend, but he overestimated his self-control. Arousal is pooling low in his gut right now from mere anticipation. After checking his earbuds are plugged in properly a dozen times, Wonwoo opens up a private browsing window and types in PeepingTom.com. He curses when he remembers Mingyu never gave him the login information, which means he’ll only be able to watch one video for free before he has to subscribe to watch the others. Hopefully it would never come to that and that one video would be enough to get Mingyu out of his system. The video thumbnails are just of Mingyu sitting shirtless on his bed; they don’t reveal much. The titles, however… Wonwoo’s eyes gloss over when he reads strip tease, anal beads, vibrator (when did Mingyu even buy those and where the hell is he hiding them right now?). Wonwoo knows he’s screwed when there are only three videos and he can’t even pick one to use his free view on. He’s not going to subscribe. He’s not that desperate. It’s mostly a decision between anal beads and the vibrator, since he’s seen Mingyu peeling his shirt off enough times. The other two—he’s never even imagined. Stop being ridiculous. It’s not like you’re making an important life decision, he tells himself, even though it kind of feels like he is. He clicks on the anal beads video before he can waste more time. The video is a bit grainy, most likely taken at night while Wonwoo was in his evening class. Mingyu opens the video with that charming smile that had him voted homecoming king back in high school. Even after all these years of being exposed to it, Wonwoo remains just as weak, and his heart flops over in his chest. “Hey guys! I’m real sorry Beanie couldn’t make it for today’s video. You guys will have to settle for me.” Mingyu gives a small, self-deprecating laugh. “I-uh, just wanted to start off by thanking you all for your comments on the last video and for sending in a buncha requests. I didn’t really think anyone was going to be interested, but yeah, um.” Wonwoo was horny before, but looking at Mingyu stammering over his words, rubbing at his nose in what Wonwoo knows is a nervous habit… Oh god, he’s absolutely smitten. Mingyu seems a lot less sure of himself in this video (maybe because Wonwoo wasn’t there?), not making much eye contact with the camera. He’s still smiling though, eyes downcast and canines peeking out just the slightest from between his lips. It’s fucking adorable. “Anyway, I thought I’d do a request today. This one’s for cumslut69 who said, ‘Hey Meanie, love your videos, you two are quickly becoming one of my favs. Can we see you play with your ass? Would love to see you work some anal beads.’” Mingyu chuckles a little after reading that comment. “Thanks, that means a lot. And I most definitely can play with my ass for you…” Mingyu reaches for something off camera and comes back with a string of anal beads between his fingers. He gives the beads a shake and they swing hypnotically. “Bought this just for you.” Wonwoo’s mouth goes completely dry. All of that is going to fit inside Mingyu? It’s just shy of a forearm’s length; the beads start off with a diameter of a half centimeter, gradually increasing in size until it’s three centimeters or so at the thickest part.  Mingyu shimmies out of his boxers torturously slow, wiggling his hips as he pulls the elastic over the swell of his ass. Wonwoo is hard in two seconds flat and he can only stare at Mingyu’s lithe body crawling onto the bed, ass facing the camera. Mingyu circles his hips and looks over his shoulder to check that the camera has a good shot. Holy shit, he’s a fuckin’ creep, watching his best friend get off. He doesn’t even deserve the title of Mingyu’s best friend anymore. But Mingyu’s back muscles are flexing sinfully beneath soft orange light, and Mingyu’s reaching behind him to cup his ass, giving it a squeeze before parting his cheeks to reveal a tiny, furled hole.  “How’s that…? Do I look okay?” Fuck it. Fuck it, Wonwoo’’s done for. His hand goes to palm himself gently over his sweats. He just wants to relieve the friction. He moves the cursor over the video—still twelve more minutes of this to enjoy. There’s the popping open of a lube cap and Mingyu slathers up the beads and his fingers. He reaches back behind him, teasingly running a slick fingertip over the rim of his opening. Wonwoo could scream at how much Mingyu draws it out, but Mingyu’s just chuckling breathily like he knows exactly what kind of effect he has. Then Mingyu is sliding his middle finger in, centimeter by delicious centimeter. When he’s knuckle deep, he pauses a moment to adjust before he slowly begins to fuck himself. The way he whimpers quietly as he works himself is driving Wonwoo crazy and Wonwoo slips a hand into his briefs. Mingyu repositions himself for the viewers and adds another finger, whining at the intrusion. Wonwoo thinks about how if he had decided to leave class early, he could have walked in on Mingyu doing this. He could have seen Mingyu rocking his hips back to meet his thrusts and scissoring himself open… And maybe in a moment of boldness, he would have walked up behind his best friend, grabbed those slim hips and slip a finger inside that tight hole alongside Mingyu’s own fingers. He wonders how tightly would Mingyu squeeze around him. Wonwoo whimpers and gives his cock a squeeze to keep from coming. “‘kay, I think I’m ready.” Mingyu sounds a little breathless. He spreads his knees wide, back arching seductively and Wonwoo can see the way his hole flutters like it’s needy for something to fill it. The first few beads slides in without resistance. Wonwoo stops mid-stroke, mesmerised by the way Mingyu’s ass swallows up each bead. But as Mingyu gets closer to the end, he has to pause more and wiggle his hips to adjust, crying out softly each time. When the second to last bead pops in, Mingyu drops to his forearms and moans sweet and low, the sound of it muffled by the pillow in between his teeth. Mingyu makes a little pained sound when the last and largest bead catches against his hole. “Can’t… Feel so full,” he breathes, head dropping to loll between his shoulders. Wonwoo finds himself thinking, You can do it babe, I know you can. Just give it a lil’ push… As though his best friend heard him, Mingyu gives the sphere a push and his hole sucks it right in. “Oh!” Mingyu cries out, surprised, like he didn’t actually expect all the beads to fit inside him. A wiggle of his hips has him fisting the sheets beneath him. Mingyu makes a sound that’s a combination of a laugh and a moan. “Oh Jesus, fuck. Every time I move—” Mingyu huffs for breath, turns around slowly to sit down and lets out a long, shaky sigh. “—the beads move inside me. Fuck, that feels…” Mingyu spreads his legs out into a wide vee, putting his cock on full display. It’s rock hard, curving up to rest on his belly and Wonwoo exhales sharply. When Mingyu’s hand goes to his own cock, it’s like Wonwoo’s given permission to touch himself and Wonwoo starts to fuck his fist again, twisting his wrist and giving it a flick at the upstroke. Mingyu’s bucking his hips up into his hand before grinding down on the bed, feeling those beads press against his wall, if the whimpers are anything to judge by. Mingyu probably has no idea how damn good he looks right now. Wonwoo’s torn between keeping his eyes on Mingyu’s cock and that pleasure-creased expression; Mingyu’s eyes are shut, brows wrinkled and mouth hanging open, a continuous string of moans slipping from them.  “Mmm, fuck, that’s good. I’m gonna... ” Mingyu’s hip movements—the grinding, the circling—become more erratic. He’s jerking himself off completely out of sync, but he just looks so desperate chasing after his orgasm that Wonwoo whines deep in his throat and strokes himself faster. Wonwoo’s so close, can feel his balls drawing in tight and his toes are curling, and then there’s Mingyu, who’s also reaching his peak crying out: “Shit! Shit, I’m...Mmm—fuck!” Mingyu all but screams his release and Wonwoo comes hard as if on command, hips stilling as he spurts over his fist, mouth falling open in a long and languid moan that he’s powerless to contain. Mingyu recovers before he does. With a whimper, he reaches under him to slide a finger through the ring and slowly pull the string of beads out of his ass. “Holy shit... That was fuckin’ amazing.” He pauses to exhale a few shuddering breaths. “Gotta thank you for introducing that to me. Anyway… Wow, excuse me, I’m having a hard time breathing.” A slight pause, and then, “Yeah, anyway, let me know how you guys liked it. Hope to see you next week. Bye-byeee!” As soon as Wonwoo reorients himself, the guilt hits him and he slams his laptop shut. He just jerked off to his best friend jerking off. He is so going to hell for that. But Mingyu had looked so amazing, and while Wonwoo has imagined it a hundred times before, he never thought he’d actually see Mingyu fall apart in this way. Mingyu took the beads so well and Wonwoo is actually getting hard again from the memory of it. Cursing himself the entire time, Wonwoo opens his laptop to press replay and is faced with a popup:  Like what you see? Subscribe today for unlimited, lifetime access to your favourite camboy or girl for a one time payment of $9.95. Maybe if Wonwoo weren’t already halfway to hard, he would have closed the window and turned in for the night. But he can’t get the image of Mingyu out of his head, and knowing that there are still two more videos he has yet to watch has him groaning in defeat. Wonwoo pokes his head out of the washroom, straining his ears for any noise. When he’s satisfied that Mingyu is still asleep, he tiptoes to the living room where he had left his wallet before locking himself back in the bathroom. He puts in all his credit card information but pauses when he has to come up with a username that wouldn’t give away his true identity. It’s not something he wants to waste time on, especially when he runs the risk of having Mingyu catching him. He thinks of his best friend’s toothy smile and types in i_like_sharks. It’s completely innocuous. The subscriber count jumps from 147 to 148 and Wonwoo goes red faced from shame. It doesn’t stop him from watching Mingyu’s other uploads, though. He watches the strip tease one next, thinking that it’d be tamer and he’d appreciate a bit more time to recover. He isn’t prepared for how seductive Mingyu is and how intimate an experience it simulates. The sway of Mingyu’s hips, the way he runs his hands over his torso and teasingly lifts up his shirt, that half-lidded gaze and lopsided smirk… Mingyu makes his heart race and Wonwoo can hear it pounding in his ears. The video where Mingyu uses the vibrator, though, Holy Hell—Wonwoo can’t tell if he likes this one more than the one with the anal beads. He just knows he loves the cocky grin Mingyu had on his face when he asked, ‘You think I can go from the lowest setting right to the highest?’ and did it anyways. Mingyu looked fucking gorgeous falling apart, coming with a wrecked cry as he continued to fuck himself with his vibrator. Wonwoo loses count of how many times he rewatches each video, noticing a new detail each time that he finds way too erotic. By 3 AM, he’s come a total of three times and is utterly exhausted. If it weren’t for the fact that Mingyu usually wakes up around 4 to use the washroom, Wonwoo probably would have found it in himself to go a fourth round. After taking a late night shower, Wonwoo stumbles to bed. It takes another half hour before he’s lulled to sleep by Mingyu’s breathing. * * * “You don’t look alive this morning,” Mingyu says in way of greeting. Wonwoo would blush but he has literally zero energy to do even that. “I don’t feel very alive,” he grunts. He keeps his eyes closed as he eats and chews sleepily. “What kept you up all night?” “Just some paper I procrastinated too hard on,” Wonwoo lies without missing a beat. He has to act normal, even though every time he looks at Mingyu, all he sees is his best friend throwing his head back in orgasm, hand still working the vibrator in and out of his hole… Wonwoo shakes his head. This isn’t something he can risk getting called out on. Somehow, he does a better job of pretending than he gave himself credit for; Mingyu doesn’t comment on his behaviour. He manages to keep the act up for a full two weeks—that’s two videos where Mingyu impossibly manages to outdo himself so that Wonwoo has to muffle his scream with a fist when he comes.  Then he fucks up the status quo yet again.

Author’s notes - IM MEANIE AF ARE YOU? Thanks for the feedback, all! It really motivates me to write. I’d love to hear what you think about this chapter, too.