Chapter 1 (1/1)

Tears, are words ones heart can't say.   Its cold, windy, and deserted. Its a place where no warmth is found, where morning never comes and night never leaves, where feelings are buried deep deep down. No one being brave or strong enough to find them, not even if they wanted to. This place is a heart, Sumins heart.    "Nothing is what it seems" she repeats and repeats over and over again. After being lied to constantly, it's only natural for a 16 year old girl to keep  her guard up  for anything or anyone.   But who am I to know all of this? I'm the narrator of this story, the one that knows what everyone is thinking. How do  I know what they are thinking? I can't say that yet, but I'm sure the reason will find its way out.   Its August, 2014, the weather is windy and small tear drops are falling from the sky. For someone normal , it would be a day to spend at home. But for Sumin, its a day to go outside, sit in the park or walk around it. Because besides the fact that plants are being watered by the rain, the waves of sound made by the rain is comfort to Sumins ears. The smell of wet dirt is relaxing giving her the melancholic feeling she loves so much. She was walking through the park, with a bright yellow umbrella hovering over her head with the words "Infinite" imprinted on its sides.  Feeling relaxed, she moved the umbrella away from her head and let her tears get disguised by the rain. It felt refreshing, she smiled while looking up at the grey smoky sky.   "Thank you" she whispered, to no one in particular.  After a minute of letting the rain moist her hair and clothes, her yellow umbrella went to its previous place.    Now, why exactly was Sumin at the park when there was so much to do at home? Its simple, being a lonely girl surrounded by suffocating people makes her want to get away from everyone she knows. People that swear they know her more then what she knows herself , people that think they know her. But the truth being, they don't even know half of who she really is, what she really thinks, or what she really  feels . Why would I call a girl that has a lot of "friends" and name is known throughout the school "lonely"? because no one understands her, no one knows who she is, and most importantly she doesn't trust anyone enough to tell them exactly what she thinks. It might seem selfish, but she doesn't do it to protect herself but to protect others.    To her luck, the park was close to being empty which made her feel at peace. It's not that she doesn't like being surrounded by people, is that she was tired of being surrounded. Dreaming of one day being able to cut the umbilical cord her mother doesn't want her to cut. Of going to a place where she can just be alone, completely  alone and reflect on herself, her life, her true friends, and her love ones. Quietly, not having her thoughts be cut at mid sentence because she needs to go wash dishes, or clean something, or simply be called to  go back because of something unimportant. Once again, she silently cried.  Remembering what happened a few days earlier, made her just want to tear up.-❤-Fluttering her eyes open, she looks to her left and while struggling to get her vision to clear up she grasped her phone with her left hand. When her vision was clear enough, Sumin proceeded with unlocking her phone which read "4:30 AM" . It wasn't a surprise for her to be awake so early , it was one of the effects her sleeping disorder had on her, which didn't bother her at all since she loved how peaceful the house was when everyone was sleeping plus she prefered the darkness . She quickly sat up and  went to the bathroom being cautious with her steps, not wanting to make any noise. Succeeding, she closed the bathroom door and in the process of finding the switch  for the lights, her finger tripped with a glass of perfume which was placed  awfully closed to the lights switch,  "oops" a soft whisper escaped from her lips. Sumin decided that it was the best time to start cleaning since everyone was sleeping, which meant no interruptions while cleaning the floor and  her mother would be very pleased if she found the house clean. One of the things Sumin hated the most was when someone told her what to do when she knows she needs to do it. Sumin brushed her teeth, took a quick 5 min shower, tied her hair up and changed the pajamas she was wearing to chore clothes. She took a glance at the clock hanging in the living room, which read "5:10" obviously being AM.Taking the utensils she needs to clean out of the closet and placing them quietly on the floor, she realized Jongin was nowhere to be seen. "He would have been here by now" she thought,  being the annoying person or in this case 'spirit'  he is, by now he would be asking a bunch of weird questions or making weird comments like "Why take that mop? take the other one it's easier to carry!"  and "You look really pretty today"  . Didn't he have better things to do? Like rest, he is EXO-Ks main dancer after all. But then Sumin realized it was only  6:10 PM in Korea, he wouldn't be sleeping at this time and won't be going to sleep any time soon. Remembering that Jongin, Usually comes at around 10 or 11  she continued with her cleaning. ----2 hours passed, Sumin had finally finished with cleaning. Since it was 7:10, her family members  were still sleeping. She went to check on them to see if they were all sleeping and making sure they weren't dead. It was just something she did everyday, because she felt death could come for them any time soon. She went to her parents room, seeing how her little brother and father were peacefully sleeping and putting her pinkie to their nose, checking if they were still breathing, she left the room and went to her room.  She checked  her mothers belly movement to make sure she was inhaling and exhaling properly , her mother and father were in a cold war so her mother was sleeping with her since he took their bed first. Her parents are kind of childish, whoever takes the bed first will sleep in it, and no it wasn't the playful type competition. It was a competition without words being exchange, cold glances, and trying their best to avoid each other. The only reason her father was able to get the bed that day was because her mother was shopping and came home late.  Sumin opened the door that separated her room from her Big brother's room and did the same she did with her mother, watch his belly movement. Seeing how they were all alive, she decided  to take her phone go to the living room sit on the caramel colored couch and start getting updated with the Kpop world she was into. Going to Google+, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, and many more social media websites that gave information about her favorite groups and the kpop world.  While scrolling down through the EXO community, she heard a whisper. A small, low whisper, the words weren't understandable. Sumin looked up from her phone only to find a smiley Jongin , face inches away from hers. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly. "What the hell Jongin !?" she whispered "Aren't you happy to see me?" slightly smirking the tanned boy asked "Hell no" the words came out calmly from Sumins mouth, ignoring the guy in front of her she continued  to scroll down and liking post from the community. "Oh yeah, so why were you staring at my picture like that?" the boy, sitting down next to her asked "I was trying to find your non existing penis, mini"  she said staring at the boys expression, which went from smirking confidently to pouting like a little 5 year old "I told  you not to call me that!!! I hide it okay!! Fans are perverted enough!!"  he half screamed, Sumin wasn't worried he would wake up anyone since she was the only one that could hear him.With a smirk she said "Umm, then why don't you tell Kyungsoo to do the same? I mean fans are perverted enough right, he needs to hide that thing too. He already has a bunch of fanboys liking him. I know you're gay for Kyungsoo, so Jongin, take care of what belongs to you " Sumin then went to google images while Jongin replied "IM.NOT.GAY! How many times do I need to say it??? I'm not gay and Kyungsoo hyung and I aren't in a relationship and is not my problem he doesn't hide it" . Jongin found himself staring at Sumins phone , his pulp lips opened a bit while a small "my gosh" escaped his lips.Jongin was so into explaining the situation to Sumin that he didn't realize when the respective girl searched "kaisoo being sexy" on google images. She decided to tap a fanart, where Kyungsoo was pulling Jongins tie so he can have a passionate kiss with him. "And this my friend, is real" she smiled at him while looking at more kaisoo pictures. "WE AREN'T REAL!!""You are" "Kaisoo, isn't happening" "Of course it isn't, because it already did" "I'm not gay" "You are for Kyungsoo " "I don't even know why I bother to argue about this" "I don't know either, since I always win. Because it's true" Sumin continued being the persistent girl she is, and showed him more pictures of kaisoo, her ultimate ship. "Are all fangirls like this? Shipping us with each other?"  he asked, putting a hand through his hair outm style="font-family:'times new roman';">  of frustration"Ah yep, pretty much. If you don't want us to ship you with each other, then stop giving us reasons to......................if you stop showing affection for Kyungsoo, I will kill you . I'm not playing"  Sumin said looking at him with a serious expression. "I can't promise anything.....It's not like  I will remember any-" Jongin wasn't able to finish his sentence, because he had suddenly disappeared . Sumin was taken aback by the sudden silence, the type of silence she didn't like. The type of silence that left her with questions. -❤-   Since that day, Sumin hasn't heard anything from Jongin nor Kyungsoo. Both her and Hyemin have been worried sick, no matter how much they were called, they never came. Kyungsoo and Hyemin were in the middle of starting a relationship, a relationship that led her to finding more about Exo, about D.O, a relationship that made her feel some what loved. Even though she wasn't able to see him, she knew and believed he was there. But when suddenly, the one you love and care for disappears  without leaving a  trace you find yourself completely lost and desperate for answers.    In a way, both Sumin and Hyemin saw it coming. They are fans after all, if the whole thing of having these Exo members watch your movements and slowly fall in love with you was unbelievable and absolutely impossible. Imagine them doing all of this but in spirit form, when they leave their bodies while sleeping and come to you but when going back not remembering a thing at all. It was stupidly impossible.  But even so, they still believed in it. They still kept their hopes up.    Sumin decided that it was time to go back home , since her mother asked her to go to the pharmacy which was 10 minutes away when walking, she was  expected to be back in less then 30 minutes. Sumin waited for the traffic light to change from green to red, so that she could cross. While waiting she felt her phone vibrate, taking it out contemplating the picture she has set as her lock screen of Jongin, smiling while holding up his hands and forming a peace sign with both of them. She slide her finger across the screen and entered the pin number needed to unlock the phone.   She had received a anonymous text that said "It was all a lie" I'm so sorry for taking so long to update