"..., and love hard." (1/1)

Chapter 22 “…, and love hard.”             Tao stared at the sleeping form on the couch, himself perched on the edge of the coffee table. Each light rise of their chest matched the sweet drumming at the back of Tao’s head from his hangover. It was early morning, the sun barely peaking over the horizon and he had just gotten home. For someone who had spent all night drinking and passed out in the break room of their favorite bar, Tao felt overly refreshed. The loose grogginess of his body and thumping in his head reminded him he was there, alive, surviving. He should take advantage of it, work hard, play hard, and love hard. He had read that on a poster for some cologne on the way home. It seemed fitting for today. “Yixing,” Tao said and leaned forward to shake the sleeping form. “Yixing, get up, you really shouldn’t sleep on this couch so much. Why didn’t you go to mine or Luhan’s bed?” The unicorn man shifted suddenly turning so he was on his back, arms flayed out. His eyes fluttered opened and he blinked a couple of times before fixing sleepy eyes on Tao. “Zitao? Hmm, Luhan’s bed is…”

Tao chuckled and reached a hand up to push Yixing’s bangs out of his face. His hair was a little frizzy and Tao guessed he fell asleep with it only half dry. “I get it. I wouldn’t want to sleep on his bed either. What about mine?” Yixing licked his lips then sat up. “I couldn’t.” “You can from now on,” Tao said and stood. “Get a jacket on, we’re going to the beach.” Yixing rubbed his face then stood and stumbled sleepily towards Tao. He reached blindly out for a light jacket and ended up grabbing one of Tao’s from the hook by the coat closet and door. “Why?” Tao helped Yixing into the jacket, a thin leopard print that didn’t really match him and patted his shoulders that were about the same size as his. “Because I like the beach.” Yixing snoozed in the taxi, long soft face snuggled into the fuzzy rim of the jacket’s hood. Tao leaned his head back on the seat and watched him sleep more. He definitely looked a bit older than Tao and he considered talking to Yixing with more respect, but he had lost most of that when he came to America and tried his best to adapt to their way of speaking. Maybe he could just be sweeter. And Yixing was pretty, but more the handsome sort of pretty, like a horse. Tao’s eyes started to feel heavy as he studied each line of Yixing’s face, but he fought it off. He’s sleep later; right now he wanted to watch Yixing. He had done it before, familiarized himself with Yixing’s body line and face angles to know exactly how each fold of the clothes he was modeling would fall and to help direct positions along with the light angles, but today had nothing to do with work. Today was for recovery and celebration. Tao had spent the night in major surgery. He had almost fallen asleep when the cab finally stopped at the beach. Tao shook himself and climbed out before walking to the other side. Yixing was already sitting up blinking around when he opened the door. He waited for Yixing to get out then handed the cab driver his card to swipe. The car drove away and Tao turned to see Yixing looking around, hood over his head and strings pulled tight to block out the sting of the cool morning breeze. The mornings were still cold, but by noon they’d be sweating. Tao hoped to be in bed by then. He made his way over to Yixing and grabbed the edges of the jacket’s hood. Yixing blinked at him, two pretty brown eyes staring with trust and curiosity. Tao grinned and tugged on the hood loosening the string so more than just Yixing’s eyes could be seen. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Yixing’s. The unicorn man’s body stilled for the few seconds the kiss lasted, a few seconds in which all Tao could feel was the parched and soft flesh of Yixing’s lips, not the ocean waves rolling softly onto the shore, not the early bird seagulls calling out for free scraps, not even his own heartbeat. Tao pulled away still grinning. He pulled the strings back before Yixing’s face could morph into a reaction and grabbed his hand. He tugged Yixing along beside him down to where the waves kissed the sand teasing against the tips of his shoes. They were starting to recede and Tao caught site of a large shell stuck in the sand. Yixing bent down to pick it up, but seaweed surrounded it in a death trap. He pulled his hand from its place in Tao’s and only looked up when Tao refused to let it go. “Zitao?” Tao squatted down beside Yixing and helped pull the seaweed off the shell. Yixing rolled the large conch shell in his hands, a smile forming along with a dimple. Tao took the shell away and moved behind Yixing. He pulled the hood down and pressed the shell to Yixing’s ear. “Can you hear the ocean?” Tao asked. “Yeah.” Tao tilted his head to Yixing’s other ear, cheek brushing against his hair. “Can you hear me?” Yixing only nodded this time. “I like you, Yixing. Actually, it’s more like I’m in love with you.” Tao’s lips brushed against Yixing’s cheeks and he could feel the extra warmth of a blush on them. He dropped the shell and moved his arms to wrap them around Yixing’s middle. Yixing squirmed a bit and they went from squatting to sitting on their butts in the cold gold sand. Tao pulled Yixing closer so his back pressed into his chest. “Look at me Yixing.” The unicorn man did, brown eyes wavering with disbelief and Tao supposed he shouldn’t have expected Yixing to react with his usual blank curiosity when Tao had drilled into him how much he did not want to be in love. “Did you hear me?” Yixing nodded. “Aren’t you going to say something back?” Yixing was searching Tao’s face. He tried to look sincere, to not hide anything. Yixing was still somewhat of an animal. More than an animal and more than a human. After a few seconds, that soft loving call of his name escaped Yixing’s lips. “Zitao, I love you, too.” Tao smiled and it was reciprocated on Yixing’s face, dimple and all. He leaned down and captures Yixing’s lips again. This time, Yixing kissed back, lips eager and Tao had to move back before he was tempted to have sex on the beach, which didn’t sound like a bad idea, but maybe on a summer’s night when it was warmer and they wouldn’t get caught as easy. “Why?” Yixing asked when they had caught their breath. Tao leaned his head on the back of Yixing’s neck. “Why? I don’t want it to be complicated. Other people fall in love with other people and I fall in love with you.” “What about Yifan?” Yixing asked, voice steady when he did. Tao sighed. It was strange not to have that huge tug on his heart when that name was mentioned. “I promised not to fall in love with another man after him, but you’re not really human, so maybe this is God’s or whoever’s way of telling me to quit being an immature brat and be happy.” Yixing leaned back fully into Tao’s chest. “You are kind of a brat, but I don’t dislike it. Are we dating now?” Tao laughed and moved one of his hands to grab one of Yixing’s entangling their long fingers. “Yeah.” “Are we going to have sex?” Tao nodded, his chin brushing Yixing’s hair and he finally just rested it on the top of his head. “Yeah, we have to celebrate afterall.” Because I’ve recovered from heartbreak. (✪㉨✪)             They got to the apartment around then after a quiet tension filled taxi ride. The morning was spent cuddling on the beach with the tide tickling the toes of their shoes. It was strange being that way with someone. Even his time with Kris had been more violent flirting and playing around than actual just embracing. Tao liked it. Things like this, the romantic kind that made your teeth hurt; Tao had always wanted to do those kinds of things with his lover. And it was weird that Tao didn’t feel weird thinking of Yixing as his lover. Maybe that was just how it was when you let yourself free. Tao gently tugged Yixing inside the apartment then shut the door behind them. He looked around to make sure that Luhan’s shoes weren’t there and made his way to the couch. Yixing stood in the doorway and looked around the apartment almost as if he had walked in for the first time. His eyes finally landed on Tao’s, but he quickly looked away and down at his shoes. “I’ll make breakfast,” Yixing offered. “Later,” Tao said. “You’re probably hungry though. You went drinking; food will help with the hangover.” Tao patted the space beside him on the couch. “I know something better that’ll help with the hangover. Come sit with me, Yixing.” Yixing gave one longing look toward the kitchen before moving to the couch and sitting beside Tao. He stared straight at the blank television screen; posture proper with hands clenched on his knees. Tao refrained from touching him. It was kind of cute how nervous he seemed. Tao really had never had a nervous lover and even the two times before, Yixing had never seemed quite so shy, just reserved. “We’ve done it already, why are you nervous?” One of Yixing’s hands clenched tighter. “It’s the first time it’s mutual.” Tao nodded. “So this would be our first time making love?” Yixing nodded. Now Tao felt a little nervous. He had thought he had made love with Kris when he lost his virginity, but honestly it didn’t feel much different then sex with any other guy if he took out all the expectations and the fact he didn’t know what he was doing. Would ‘making love’ be any different? “We don’t have to do it yet if you don’t want to,” Tao said. “I’m not going to force you and I’m not going to order you to.” Yixing shook his head. “No, I want to; I’m just not use to it.” Tao frowned. “You’re not use to me being nice. Okay Yixing, I get it.” The unicorn man turned his head toward Tao and Tao leaned in. He moved his hand over Yixing’s neck, rubbing it, then pulled him down for a kiss. His lips pressed firmly to Yixing’s and he waited until Yixing’s eyes fluttered closed before closing his own. He deepened the kiss, hand moving from Yixing’s neck once he started reacting, traveling down the zipper of Tao’s jacket Yixing still wore. He unzipped it and felt Yixing’s waist over his shirt. The unicorn man shivered and pulled away from the kiss and looked at Tao with nervous and expectant eyes. Tao stared at them for a moment before grabbing the hem of  Yixing’s shirt and lifted it. He leaned down and kissed the exposed white tummy, lines of thin abs muscles visible. He kissed higher reaching Yixing’s heartbeat then a dusky nipple. He latched his lips around it, suckling sweetly, and rested a hand on Yixing’s thigh. The unicorn man let out a soft whimper of pleasure. He placed a hand on the low of Tao’s back where there were still light bruises from his fall from the circus tent, but not as bad as they would have been if Yixing hadn’t touched them. Tao moved his hand to Yixing’s inner thigh then to his crotch, rubbing it slowly. Yixing gasped and pressed a little too hard to Tao’s back. Tao unlatched himself and kissed back down. He pulled Yixing’s pant button free and pushed the zipper down. Yixing still wore no underwear and Tao found himself enjoying that fact. He kissed the light hairs that appeared in the visible space between the zipper’s teeth before reaching down and pulling out Yixing’s length. He stroked it a couple times watching Yixing’s expression then licked the tip. Yixing shuttered. He grasped Tao’s hair roughly as if trying to pull him off. Tao chuckled and put his other hand over Yixing’s on his hair, easing the grip and directing Yixing to push down on Tao’s head, push him further over the length. He moved slowly up and down, carefully instructing Yixing how to tell him what he wanted with certain tugs. A sharp one told him Yixing was about to cum and he pulled off. Yixing stared at Tao with lips parted in unsatisfied breaths. The nervousness was still there, but now there was an intense need and it pulled at Tao as well. He needed to have Yixing, to make it one hundred percent all that he had given up and all that he was going to work for for now on. He reached forward and cupped Yixing’s face. He ran his thumb along Yixing’s lips and felt a stuttered breath ghost against it. It sent shock up Tao’s arm and through the rest of his body. The next second he was kissing Yixing again, pushing his tongue between thin soft lips to entangle with Yixing’s. Tao leaned back on the couch pulling Yixing with him, pulling the unicorn man onto his lap and his hands went to work on removing Yixing’s clothes. With Yixing’s top finally bare, the unicorn man got the idea and grabbed Tao’s shirt, lifting it up and over his head and laid surprising kisses on Tao’s chest. He laid there for a moment enjoying them wondering what other things Yixing would initiate once he had more confidence. He slowed down when he got to Tao’s pants and if it was any other time, Tao might have watched Yixing fight with himself on what to do next, but Tao needed to be connected with Yixing. He pulled Yixing farther up on his laps and pushed down his pants enough to get at his entrance. Luhan had thought it was stupid for them to leave a bottle of lube in the couch, but as Tao’s fingers fumbled quickly for it, he was glad he had still snuck one there after the one time Luhan had actually cleaned the whole apartment from head to toe. He uncapped it and coated his fingers. Tao jammed one quickly into Yixing and he fell forward, breathing harshly into Tao’s neck. Tao took his time in thrusting it in and out and adding a second and a third. He could feel tears on his neck and turned his head to kiss Yixing’s cheek and jaw line as he worked. His other hand moved to tracing teasing lines on Yixing’s wilting member to get his mind off the stretching. Three times wasn’t enough to be use to it. “Tao, I just want you,” Yixing groaned. Tao removed his fingers and tapped Yixing’s butt lightly. “Sit up and lower yourself. Only take in what you can at a time.” Yixing nodded and sat up. He kicked off his jeans the rest of the way and fumbled with Tao’s zipper. His fingers slipped a few times as he grabbed Tao’s member as if he’d break it if he pulled it out from Tao’s pants to quickly and Tao chuckled at that making Yixing’s face even redder than what it was. Tao allowed Yixing a few seconds to stroke it, admire being able to touch Tao so freely then he thrust up to get Yixing’s attention back to what they were doing. Yixing licked his lips then steadied himself over Tao’s lap. He put one arm on the back of the couch and the other held Tao’s member as he slowly sat down. Tao moaned when he felt the tip entering Yixing. He forced his eyes to stay open, to watch Yixing’s expression and to make sure he wasn’t overdoing it. Yixing stopped midway and it was almost torture having his sensitive head and half his length inside all that warmth while the rest was still exposed to the chill of the morning. After a few seconds more, Yixing plopped himself all the way down, holding back a groan of pain. Tao grabbed Yixing’s hands and pressed them against his chest so he could feel his heartbeat. He stared into Yixing eyes hoping to calm him and to get him use to it fast enough. When he saw the pain starting to ebb away, he snapped his hips up and Yixing’s nails dug into his chest, a short cry escaping him. Tao did it again and waited for Yixing to get the message. Yixing shifted a bit and moved his hands to rest against Tao’s stomach. He lift up and pushed down with shallow thrust keep most of Tao still inside him. So much heat, but Tao needed more friction. He placed his hands on Yixing’s hips and helped to lift him, to get just the right height. Once there, he moved one hand up Yixing’s back, dragging his nails softly along his spin making Yixing shiver. He entangled his fingers into the back of Yixing’s hair almost wishing it was still long and pulled him down, meeting him in a kiss half way. Tao moved his hips in beat with the strange rhythm their tongues made entwining with each other interrupted only by their moans. “Zitao…Zitao,” Yixing moaned between kisses, some of them muttered into Tao’s mouth when a kiss came too soon that caused vibrations to hit his sweet spots. Heat started to pool in Tao’s stomach and he lay back on the couch letting Yixing take over the kisses, enjoying the kisses on his jaw and neck. Yixing’s fingers started to scratch at his stomach. He guessed that meant the unicorn man was close, too. He went back to holding Yixing’s waist and helping him bounce on his lap, going faster, pulling Yixing down harder and swiveling his hips. Yixing suddenly reached out for the back of the couch and arched back. Semen shot over his other hand and Tao’s chest. The moment Tao had fully processed the sight, he lost it inside Yixing. Yixing slowly lowered himself over Tao, chest moving fast with deep breaths. Tao wrapped his arms around Yixing’s waist and held him close ignoring the fact he was still buried in him for the moment. “I think we should have done this in the bed,” Tao said once he had enough breath to talk. “Why?” Yixing asked voice still raspy. “The couch kind of sucks for resting.” “I like it,” Yixing said. “That’s because it’s better than what they kept you in at the circus,” Tao said. Yixing didn’t answer back and Tao was afraid he had offended Yixing until he felt soft breath on his shoulder. He lifted a hand and petted Yixing’s sweaty hair as the unicorn man slept. Well, if Yixing liked it that was good enough reason to keep the couch even if Luhan complained about cum stains the next day. (✪㉨✪)             Tao stared at himself in front of the mirror struggling with the black silk tie he had been forced to wear. Every time the wrong end ended up longer and that was only if he was successful in getting the knot right. This was why he preferred bowties. What kind of wedding made you wear ties anyways? And what gay marriage had best men? Even straight marriages didn’t always have the entourage at the side. “Here, let me help you.” Long fingers appeared over Tao’s shoulders and moved down to his chest, grabbing the ends of the tie. The fingers pulled the knot free easily and started to tie it properly, a head peeping over Tao’s shoulder to see what he was doing. “Yixing, I don’t want to stand out there. There’s a much of reporters and news people,” Tao whined. “Minseok’s a journalist so of course there are other reporters out there, his friends and co-workers. And you have to go out, you’re the best man,” Yixing said. “But it’s a gay wedding, why is there a best man?” Yixing’s fingers pulled the tie smoothly through its loop making a perfect knot. “Because you’re special to Kris and he wants you as part of the wedding.” Tao frowned. There wasn’t anything he could say against that. Even if he was still in love with Kris he would have still agreed to stand next to him at the altar and watch him marry someone else because above everything else, they were friends, brothers. “But why ties?” Yixing finished tying and slid one hand down the tie, grasping the middle of it. He tugged and spun Tao away from the mirror, pulling close by the tie. He grinned up at Tao, eyes playful; an expression Tao still wasn’t use to in the few months he had been with Yixing. “I think ties are useful.” Tao grinned and lifted a hand to Yixing’s collar tapping the toffee colored bowtie he wore. “Then maybe you should have worn one.” Yixing’s smile brightened, but there was a mischievous edge to it. “I’m sure I’ll be wearing your tie later.” The unicorn man danced away and Tao frowned after him. “You’re spending too much time with Luhan; he’s giving you dirty ideas. Where is Luhan anyways?” Yixing went to the dresser in the changing room Tao had been occupying and grabbed the black blazer that matched Tao’s suit. He held it out for Tao to slip back in. “I saw him fighting with Kai and then they disappeared together into another changing room.” “Those two are going to break up one of these days with all that bickering,” Tao complained. “Yeah, but I’m sure they’ll get back together in a year or two. Luhan said he was thinking about moving in with Kai. If they break up, it’ll be before the lease is up,” Yixing said and patted Tao’s jacket down. “Yeah, I hope he does go, it’ll be nice to have him out of the apartment,” Tao said and turned, pulling Yixing into a hug. “You’re going to be sitting close to the front, right?” “Yeah. I’m in charge of the cake, remember.” “I saw it, I really want to eat it,” Tao said remembering the off white cake he had seen in the dinning area of the party room they had rented for the reception part of the wedding, the actual ceremony being held outside. “You sure you don’t want to be a pastry chef instead of a model?” Yixing buried his head in Tao’s collarbone and shook it. “No, I don’t want to be away from you, it’s still strange to me living like a human and living with the person I like.” “Like? You love me.” Yixing looked up and smiled. “I do.” Tao smiled back down, his chest lightening with just the thought. “I do, too. But, we’re definitely never getting married. I saw all the stress it caused Kris and I don’t know if there’s a state of even a country that’ll wed you to something that’s not human anymore.” Yixing lightly punched Tao’s chest. “This is not bestiality or zoophilia.” Tao laughed. “You really do hang out with Luhan too much.” They walked out of the changing room and headed to the altar set up outside. The justice of the peace was already standing under the wedding arch with his book and most of the white expensive looking lawn chairs were filled. Luhan and Kai sat close to the front with an extra chair beside them. Tao dropped Yixing off there before making his way to Kris’ side of the arch, another man and a girl on Minseok’s. He recognized the girl as an ex-girlfriend of Minseok’s and slightly wondered how Kris had felt about Minseok still being close to one of his ex’s, but then again he was standing there and his relationship with Kris was more complicated. Tao adjusted his tie and looked out at the crowd finding Yixing talking animatedly with Luhan. Yixing looked up feeling his eyes and smiled. Tao smiled back. Well, it wasn’t so complicated anymore. Tao guessed the guy was either a brother or a friend. He’d ask at the reception. A few minutes later, music started playing. Kris walked down first escorting his mother who Tao was glad to see make it. She took a seat by Kris’ father. They gave each other grimaced smiles, but otherwise seemed perfectly civil to each other. Tao was glad he was there, too. His own parents knew Kris was getting married, but he doubted they paid enough attention to know it was to a man. They were happy enough knowing Tao was still alive and wasn’t wasting all of the ‘good neighbor boy’s’ money. Minseok came next hanging off the arm of an older woman. He wasn’t sure where Minseok’s parents were, whether they didn’t come because they didn’t approve or because they didn’t have the money for plane tickets to New York, but Minseok seemed happy enough in his white suite staring after Kris down the aisle. They both had a red carnation in their breast pocket which Tao thought was the wrong flower for an August wedding, but Kris said it had to be that maybe because Tao had introduced them in winter and Kris had proposed when it started getting cold outside. Once they were both at the altar, they held each others’ hands. Other than cameras flashing, it was quiet and the justice began to speak. Tao furrowed his brows. Since finding out Kris was getting married, he had dreaded the day he’d have to watch it and here he was only a foot away from the couple as they took their vows. Watching them put rings of gold on their fingers, saying sappy words, and then finally leaning in for that last kiss of single life; Tao didn’t feel the dread he had always anticipated he would. He didn’t feel like throwing up or crying and he didn’t have flashbacks to those few months he had been tricked into thinking they were happy together. He could feel eyes on him and turned to the standing crowd of clapping people. He caught sight of Yixing. Tao didn’t feel anything but happy. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ;A; Last chapter. Thanks for reading it.Here's the next story: COLORS