Forcing laughter, faking (1/1)

Luhan's P.O.VI didn't stayed in his apartment too long after he left. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and tried to calm myself down. There was nothing else for me to do there.  I changed back to my clothes and left the ones he borrowed me in his bed. Then I walked out, pretending that I was okay. Trying not to breake down again in the street. The road to my house seemed longer, but of course it was just my imagination.I reached my house and went to my room, then I slumped in the bed. I tried to cry, but nothing was coming out. So sad. I already used all my tears.I know he needs to get away. I knew that this day would come but I never expected it to be this fast. A day. A fucking day. That's the time I got to spend with him before I was dumped again."I guess it can't be helped." I gave myself a stiff smile "That's just the way things were 'fated' to be"I can't afford to have another emotional break down, this time it will surely kill me. m style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;">So just keep pretending like you are alright. Like there's nothing wrong with you. Just keep pilling up those emotions inside you.I don't know at what point did I fell asleep. I heard voices calling me but I was too tired to open my eyes and find who it was. There was a knock on my door, I still didn't answer, then the door opened."Hey...are you still down?" It was Xiumin, he seated beside me and stroke my hair."No, I'm here because it feels really fucking great thanks for asking" I know I shouldn't tak to him like this. He has nothing to do with anything. But the words just escaped my mouth, I couldn't do anything to stop them."I see. You know, you've probably figured out this much, but don't you think you should go back? You too have to clear your mind. Aren't you the same as him? wanting to know what happened that day?""Not really. I want to forget everything I went through in my childhood...it's just not fair, you know? I had a hard time and I remember every.single.detail and then there's Sehun, the boy who had it all. It was him who got to leave that past behind.""Maybe it's true but I really think you should at least consider going back to that place. You're not the same small and scared kid you were. They can't hurt you now. Just think about it, okay? If you decide you want to go, I'll go with you." He stood up. I heard steps that stopped near the door. "You're not alone anymore, Luhan." 3rd Person.The days passed, and without notice, a week had passed since that day.Lay wasn't able to stand up alone for 3 days. Suho and Lay agreeded to move to the apartment completly in a couple of days. Xiumin wanted them to stay there for free, but their pride wouldn't let them. So they were going to pay a small rent. Both of them got part time jobs, because they wanted to do some changes to the apartment.Chen and Xiumin stayed like always. Chen tried various times to make Minseok understand that his "I love you" were different from the older one's, without succeed. However, Xiumin began to wonder why did Chen's actitud towards him suddenly changed. He was more clingy, and wanted to spend a lot of time together. This didn't bothered Xiumin, because he was actually starting to feel the same way.Tao and Kris were still in the hotel near the beach. They didn't wanted to go back yet. Since they haven't tried doing it in every single place they could think of.  But they heard from the others the fight that Luhan ans Sehun had.Kai and Kyungsoo didn't went too far as Kai wanted. The most "perverted" thing they had done was frenching. For the time being it was enough for Kyungsoo, but of course not for Kai, who was always begging his boyfriend to let him at least touch him.Baekhyun and Chanyeol went back as soon as they could stop having sex. Which took them almost half day. They felt a little guilty for not being there for Sehun, for not asking him to stay or tell them when was he going to come back.As for Luhan, he barely left his room. He continued to lose weight and he had huge bags under his eyes. His roommates were seriously worried about him. Whenever they tried to comfront him he always refused them with a faked smile and a "I'm okay. I'm not depressed anymore" They were scared of what time would do to him.Moon So Ri showed her brother different parts of the town were she recalls seing Sehun with Luhan, to try and see if he could remember something like he did the first day on the willow tree. But nothing worked. No matter how hord they tried, where they went or what they did. Everything was useless. Sehun still couldn't ask his mother alone, and his father was currently in a trip to America. As the days passed he began to realize that Luhan's absence also made him change for the worst. Even though the Sehun he was right now had shared only a day with Luhan, the older boy made a great impact in his life. He tried to call his boyfriend many times but failed because he felt scared that he had already moved on and that he was not waiting for him anymore. He didn't know his thoughts couldn't be more wrong. Luhan's P.O.V (again)Footsteps. I hear them again and again at the same hour. Usually it's Minseok, trying to make me eat something. But I'm not hungry. I haven't been in a while. My room looks like a mess, because it is a mess. Sometimes Lay comes and cleans a bit, but it's useless. It will only get dirty again. I don't know how many days it has been. I lost the count already. I guess it's okay, since it doesn't matter anymore. I know nothing about him. I only know he's not in his house. Not a call, not a text. There's not even a sign that he's still alive. It really is like last time. "m style="margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;font:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;">I feel like you'll fade away"The door of my room suddenly opened abruptly, letting the painful sunlight enter to my room once again."I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU" I heard a strong and angry voice say from across the room. I guess Kris is back. "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, DAMN IT" He opened the windows and a fresh flow of air filled the room in seconds. He threw my blankets and pillows to the floor, leaving me alone in the bed."....Hi." I tried to smile as I seated in the bed. "How was your trip?""Don't fucking try to play that game with me. It's not going to work" He gave me a hard glare and crossed his arms."What game? I don't understand what you're saying""I'm talking about THIS" He said as he lifted me up, surprisingly easy. "When I left, you had normal weight but now it's like lifting up a bag of bones. A little nothing""...Please put me down, Kris. I'm not in the mood for your lectures" I began to feel annoyed. He's making fun of me even now?"Awww the little princess is getting annoyed? well, get used to it. You're gonna hear a lot of coments like this from now on. Haven't you looked at the mirror? Just what the fuck did you do to yourself. Answer me, Luhan""I said please put me down.""Only if you bath and get dressed. There's somewhere you should go""I don't want to go anywhere. I'm fine here. Can't you understand that?""To be honest, No. I don't I think you're crawling back to this hole because you fill empty now that your boyfriend is not by your side. You know something? He never told you he was breaking up with you, did he?""...I guess no. He didn't""And he said he's coming back for you, right?""Right""THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THIS DEPRESSED?!" He layed me down back on the bed "I swear I don't understand any of this shit. He loves you, You love him, end of the story. Min already told you that you should go look for him and you're still here. You know what I think? I think you're just using this screen as a shield. You're scared, aren't you? But the real question is from what. What are you scared of, Luhan? What keeps you from looking for him, from calling him and for trusting him?""I..I wish I knew myself. I just am. I lived a lot of years without him already. But it feels like he was always there. So his real absence makes me want to kill myself. I'm sorry, I guess I can't explain myself."Kris let out a sigh "Go and take a bath, or a shower, I don't care. Then put nice clothes, we're going somewhere.""Together?""Yes, Together" Sehun's P.O.VSori and I have grown pretty close this week. She asks me to go with her for walks, to buy bread and groceries and do other things. It's nice to have my little sister back. She has tried to help me to remember about that year but we haven't had any luck. The only thing I managed to remember was the last night I spend with Luhan. No, not even the whole night. Just when we had to say goodbye. When he asked me to stay with him, and I rejected him. If I only I had listened to him..."Brother" Sori frozed in front of me. She looked pale."Sori? Wha'ts wrong?" I said shaking her slightly.She pointed her index finger to the town's entrace. I only got to see a blond lock of hair before I dropped the basket with warm bread and jam that a friend of our mother had gifted to us, and ran to where she was pointing."LUHANNIE" I screamed with tears already flowing out of my eyes and I launched myself to kiss my boyfriend.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------AJSKDFHAKJSDHFJKHAKSDJ ... askldfhalksdjfhasdkfasdf Hunhan is reunited ;A;I don't know If I'll have time to update tomorrow. So yeah...Thank you for your comments and for subscribing~