[M] The Mourning (1/1)

Portsmouth, England. The monochromatic colors of grey infected every inch of the town, down to the wet road that Kai trudged upon. Depressed buildings hunched forward towards the street stooping over Kai, making him feel smaller than he already felt. The only color to be seen in what felt like miles, was red. The red which adorned the bouquet of roses that Kai held in his thin hands. It looks like rain today.  He smiled at the endless grey sky, Victoria always loved the rain. He looked down at the ground at his scuffed shoes, his ripped trousers, his dirty petticoat, with matching wrinkled undershirt adorning drops dried blood around the tattered collar. He noted the slight limp in his walk. He wanted to go home, but it was already too late.He was already there.--------“Oh master Jogin, you look rather ….. quaint this evening”“It’s Kai, Robert”“Red Roses?”“I thought it would lighten the mood.”“… How may I address you to the party?”“You know me Robby!” Kai plastered on a dark smile, and gave the butler a hard pat on the back.“The usual.”“As you wish… Sir”Kai stepped through the door all the while wishing he was dead. “May I present Lord Kim Jogin, of London.”Kai froze at his disgustingly accurate title. Two hundred pairs of eyes of the lords and ladies at the congregation leached onto him and analyzed his every detail, and Kai wished he could crawl into a whole and die. “Fucking old bast-““Kai! Kai! Over here!”Who the fuck is that … oh god help me “Don’t tell me you have already forgotten about me!”The young girl latched onto him, in which Kai did not reciprocate. Her perfume forced itself up into his nostrils and made Kai feel severely dazed. It felt like days until he young girl let go of the death grip around Kai’s waist.“Hello… Jessica”“Oh Kai, how I have missed you! I honestly started to think you wouldn’t show!” her high pitched voice had already begun grind into Kai’s ears, giving him a headache.  “Where have you been Kai? I haven’t seen you in months. I believe the last time I saw you was when Victoria-““I’ve been busy, adults do have work to do, Jessica.” He had intentionally offended Jessica. He knew she hated being treated like a little girl, but she was a little girl.  A spoiled, ignorant, 18 year old little girl who had the habit of grating upon Kai’s nerves until they were raw with resentment.“Now if you would excuse me, I somewhere more important to be at this time”. Kai pushed the girl away, as if she was a deadly disease. Tears bean to well up in her eyes.“You’ve changed Kai, I don’t like it “Well you haven’t changed a godamn inch.Her bouncy curls, her pink gown, her frilly gloves, it all made him angry.You’re just like them, all of them. --------------The hall was large, and empty.The only entity that occupied the solemn room,was Victoria.Kai walked slowly towards her, dreading the moments to come. He held the bouquet of roses forcefully in his grasp.Petals from the roses began to fall, as if the flowers were weeping. She had looked so much more sickly than he remembered her eight months ago.Her cheek bones sharp on her face, her closed eyes sunken within their sockets. She looked transparent compared to the white gown that hung loosely on her body, like a child’s night gown. Her frail hands, one over the other placed delicately just below her chest.The last time Kai had seen her, she had looked so happy.It felt surreal to Kai, as if in any moment she would spring up of her eternal sleep, with that smile of hers that could illuminate the darkest of places.Aish Kai, You could have dressed up for your big sister’s funeral! But it’s okay though, I will still love you always.Kai stooped over Victoria, violently shaking as he whimpered to himself.He couldn’t take it anymore.Kai dropped onto his knees and balled in front of Victoria’s cold body. His cries of pain echoed throughout the empty hall.Even in death Victoria, I have abandoned you.He tucked his knees into his chest, and started to rock himself back into sanity. He felt like the lowest of the low, like a cockroach upon a church floor. There was no one left in this world to love him, and the one person who embraced him for all that he was, was gone. He had abandoned her in her ultimate time of need. And it was all his fault.I hope when I die I may get to see you once more in life, but then I wish to be swallowed up by the depths of hell, and you shall never forgive me for my sinsHe placed the flowers between her beautiful, lifeless hands. He turned from his beloved sister, and fled from the room.--------As he left the hall, Kai felt his body becoming drained of any life force it had left in it. He staggered forward as if he were drunk. But he was sober, yet he had wished he was drunk. At least that way his reality could have seemed less bitter. Or better yet, dead.Kai walked through traipses of drunken bastards and pigs, wanting so desperately to leave his foulest nightmare come to life.He began towards run towards the exit, his breath shaky and frantic. As beads of cold sweat began to pore down his back, his escape could be seen…“Excuse me Kai, where do you think you are going?”Please… no more of this “Luna, I need to leave I need to-”“Kai, this is the first time I have seen you in months, do you actually expect me to let you run away yet again?”She looked furiously at him, as if steam was going to spout from her head. Her intimidating expression sobered him slightly from his delirium, enough to act enough like a gentleman in from of his sister’s dearest friend.“Luna I’m sorry, but I can’t be here right now I can’t-” his voice began to choke, and Luna’s expression instantly softened to one of empathy. Luna embraced him softly and whispered into his ear, “I know sweetheart, I know.” Her embrace reminded Kai of Victoria’s, and he began to choke up once again.“There is just one person I would want you to meet, before you leave me once again”Luna separated from Kai. “I don’t believe you have ever met your brother in law.”“Well he isn’t my brother in law anymore now is he?”Luna sighed quietly.  “If you won’t do it for me, please do it for Victoria. You know how much it would have meant to her for you to get along.” She paused.  “Even in her death.”Kai felt his heart twinge, he had do at least one right for Victoria. Even if it was eight months too late.“I will do it, and what shall I call him?”“His name is Do Kyungsoo.”