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CHAPTER ELEVEN  “I’m sorry Luhan-gege, Kyungsoo-gege.” Luhan whipped his head as Kyungsoo stopped on paring an apple and looked questioningly at Tao. “What are you being sorry for, Tao?” ---- It’s been a week since Tao’s accident and they’re now preparing for Tao’s coming home. “Hey, Joonie.” Suho paused on cutting a cartolina for their little celebration and faced a curious-looking Lay. “What?” Lay narrowed his eyes for a moment and bit his cheeks in contemplation. He neared Suho causing the older to feel … hotter(?). “You know, I haven’t really seen Kris smile since… like a week ago.” Suho then, with so much courage in him, slightly pushed Lay aside and gave Kris a judging stare. Naturally, they’re not the least bothered with the manager’s serious face until now that there’s something hidden between those thin-lined lips and calmness. It’s the aura that surrounds him, really. “Do you think he’s still blaming himself?” Suho asked and turned to face Lay. But to his surprise, Lay’s also looking at him and the distance between them’s only an inch away that both of them felt something… something strange. It was Suho who came back to reality first. “Ahm… I—I’ll continue with the cutting stuff.” He excused himself away from Lay but a pair of strong hands gripped his wrists making him turn abruptly at Lay who’s all but staring deep at him. “Xing—“ “You felt that too Joonie.” It was not a question, but a confident statement coming from Lay and Suho’s mind swirled in circles as he looked on how serious Lay is. He then smiled his signature albeit the butterflies in his stomach. “So do you, Xing.” And for the first time, he felt relieved knowing that he’s not the only one feeling strange between them. But as Lay’s about to speak, Suho shut him up with his fingers on the barista’s soft lips. “Take your time Xing, we’re not in a hurry.” Then they smiled, knowing that there’s this understanding line in between them. And yes, they’re not in a hurry. ---- It’s been a week already but neither Minseok nor Chen was brave enough to speak anything about what happened between them, creating the awkward feeling neither of them was aware of—or was just too confused to bother. But it’s not something they could keep for any longer. For the past few days, Minseok asked each one of them secretly to call him ‘cute’; even Tao who seemed to be more vocal than before. And much to his dismay, his efforts were put to waste because there’s that specific something that he was not feeling whenever Luhan would call him cute, or whenever Kris does—same stoic face when he told Minseok that. But Chen has a different problem. He’s been really annoyed with the little Jongdae inside his mind that always puts him in the edge of saying something good or commenting on almost everything that Minseok does. Sure, he’s done those in the past, but he’s rather feeling a lot more nervous and sweaty now every time he would cross paths with Minseok. Fortunately, or unfortunately, they’re assigned for the kitchen utensils and the table preparations for their small celebration. Oh crap. Chen thought, but found himself smiling with Minseok’s puffing cheeks because he find it hard to fold the table napkin the way he wanted it to be. “Ugh!” Minseok’s feeling so much frustrated with the way the napkin’s not doing its job—to follow Minseok. Chen, who’s at daze, averted his stare and removed the idiot grin on his face upon hearing Minseok’s frustrated groan. He coughed awkwardly causing the server’s attention fall for him. But he was just too occupied to even remember that he has that awkward feels with the barista. Instead, the disconcerted feeling of his mission was all blurted out to Chen, that, according to him, wasn’t doing any productive thing since the morning but to just… stand… and smile occasionally. “What?!” He asked, unaware of the increased tone in his voice due to his earlier dilemma and Chen almost jumped upon hearing the irritation in Minseok’s voice. “I—I think, I could help you with… that?” Minseok then realized how he acted and muttered an apology to Chen, pouting his lips a little and puffing out his cheeks in embarrassment. But instead of Chen doing what he offered, he found himself smiling like an idiot again and accidentally, without his same ‘The Great’ self stopping him, he said the words he’s so… so… waiting for this to say. “You’re cute, Min.” And a chuckle was let out by him. But after a few seconds of hearing himself, he stopped—eyes wide, mouth open, and a cardiac muscle palpitating at record time. “Oh crap.” Is all he said upon realizing that he, The Great Kim Jongdae, once again called Minseok… cute. And a rather strangled noise was heard from Minseok clad with a crimson face and more dose of embarrassment. ---- Kyungsoo and Luhan volunteered to be with Tao this past few days making two males succumb on boredom and a lot of deprivation. “Luhan and I haven’t had bubble tea for a week Kai.” Sehun exhaled and continued to lazily decorate their walls with colored papers and some cut outs. Kai, on the other hand is busying himself with cutting, pasting, and arranging the welcome banner for Tao. Sure, Sehun’s missing Luhan… a lot and it’s obvious. But Kai’s more than missing Kyungsoo, he’s like taken away from him and was stolen by Tao and Luhan. He was just so deprived of Kyungsoo. Their birthdays were celebrated in Tao’s room. Luckily, it’s big enough for the presents and food to be accommodated, together with ten others. It’s a three-day-long celebration according to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, the twelfth as Kyungsoo’s birthday, the fourteenth as Kai’s… and just recently, adding the thirteenth as KaiSoo day. And ugh, they were filled with a loooooooooooooooooooooot of foods and gifts. Honestly, Kai’s not really prepared for that, neither was Kyungsoo. But they couldn’t just kill the mood and say that it’s really not needed to have a big celebration like that, instead, they just wallowed themselves with so much blessings and wished they could be like that forever. But something’s really off with Kai, and it took Kris’ accidental glance on the banner to notice it. “Kai, you just spelled ‘WELCOME’ with ‘WELCUM’.” Kai stopped on continuing with the next word as he read his work… and yes, it’s so way obvious he’s really, honestly, desperately deprived of Kyungsoo. ---- Baekhyun’s not in his usual happy mood now and Chanyeol’s worried about that. “Baekhyung, what’s wrong?” Chanyeol examined the thing that Baekhyun’s staring at. There’s nothing wron—wait. “Oh my Krissus! Baekhyung! Your eyeliner—“ “Manliner Chanyeol, MAN-LINE-ER.” Chanyeol smiled sheepishly on Baekhyun before returning to his previous worried state of mind. “Oh my Krissus! Baekhyung! Your MAN-LINE-ER is almost empty!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes at Chanyeol and let theinstrumentalist to snatch his MAN-LINE-ER away from him and shake it, praying that it will miraculously increase in volume. Baekhyun then stared on Chanyeol’s dorkiness and smiled. It’s the moments like this that Baekhyun’s asking himself, why is he friends with this man. Sometimes, he would question if Chanyeol’s only putting up a good, friend-like demeanor with him and his diva attitude, but knowing him, Baekhyun would shake his head and remember the times when Chanyeol lost his cool with Baekhyun, but still, being with him. It’s the times like this that he would just stare, and stare, and stare. He’s fascinated with how happy Chanyeol is, albeit all the problems they’re having. He’s wondering, will this man ever felt sad? And a wide grin courtesy of Chanyeol would just flash his mind, and he knew the answer. But something about those smiles and careless acts that makes his stomach feel like curling, and twisting, and oh. He’s just so confused. Honestly, it’s not the MAN-LINE-ER that Baekhyun’s thinking about. Well, half of it yes. He thinks that what if he doesn’t put on an eyeliner for a day, what would Chanyeol’s reaction would be. What if he wouldn’t wear an eyeliner, will Chanyeol still look at him with the same adoration? But above all those, why is he thinking of how Chanyeol would react if it’s his thing anyway? That question alone deserved the half of his problem, really. So to try it, he sighed inwardly and closed his eyes for a moment. He stood and Chanyeol stopped on what he’s doing at the moment and gave Baekhyun a curious eye. “What’s the matter Baekhyung?” Also, Baekhyun finally accepted Chanyeol calling him Baekhyung instead of Baekhyun-hyung. It’s too long anyways. Baekhyun prepared himself before he raised his head and stared straight at Chanyeol. He doesn’t speak, nor move. He just stared. They looked deep into each other before Chanyeol broke into a smile Baekhyun swore he haven’t seen. It’s the curve of the lips and the boyish grin of Chanyeol that almost made him cry. But it’s actually what Chanyeol said that made him lost his composure and smile widely with his tears freely flowing down his cheeks. “You look a thousand—no, a gazillion times more wonderful Byun Baekhyun.” And that’s enough for Baekhyun to finally realize, it’s not really the eyeliners that gave him confidence; but it’s the way Chanyeol’s eyes would look at him, always, and never less than beautiful. ---- Kyungsoo and Luhan stood beside Tao. They’re at the front of Wu’s mansion and they looked at each other knowingly. “Are, you ready, Tao?” Kyungsoo asked and Tao nodded. Luhan patted his back before Tao exhaled a calming breath and turned the doorknob.  FLASHBACK “I’m sorry Luhan-gege, Kyungsoo-gege.” Luhan whipped his head as Kyungsoo stopped on paring an apple and looked questioningly at Tao. “What are you being sorry for, Tao?” Tao sat on his bed and looked apologetically at Kyungsoo and Luhan who’re preparing and putting their clothes in a bag. It’s the day for Tao’s release and they’ll have a small home-coming celebration. Luhan, who thought what he’s thinking is right voiced it out. “You know, if it’s the bills that is bothering you, then don’t. Kris got them all settled and he said that it’s no big deal, he wanted to do that.” Luhan humorously said and continued. Kyungsoo halted upon noticing that it wasn’t Tao’s problem is. “Tao, really, what is it?” Luhan then turned to Kyungsoo and saw the ummaness rubbing off of him and Tao almost perplexed upon hearing Kyungsoo’s authoritative voice. The barista raised a brow at Tao as the singer moved closer. Luhan then followed suit and squeezed Tao’s hand reassuringly. “Tao, c’mon. Spill it.” Tao then exhaled loud and straightened his seat before alternatively looking at the two. “I don’t really have amnesia.” Tao mumbled and looked down in so much guilt that he lied to the two persons he’s so close to. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, sinking the information and trying to dig an understanding persona in him while Luhan was surprised and shocked and bewildered with Tao’s confession. It took a long time for them to process what Tao had said and neither of them spoke, nor moved. The tension’s just so high, and Kyungsoo finally broke it off. “Why Tao?” It came in a calm soothing voice and Tao almost jumped in glee that Kyungsoo’s not mad at him. Luhan, on the other hand, is thinking that maybe, his thoughts now were right. He spilled them. “Tao, did you do that to know what our reactions will be?” Tao kept silent but nodded afterwards. Luhan’s about to say something when Kyungsoo eyed him to stop. It’s Tao’s turn to explain himself. “I’m sorry if I did that. But I’m really afraid, I’m so afraid that I’m back to the same way I was before. I’m afraid that I’m back again to the point where there’s no one there for me. I’m afraid that because I’m weak now, people would easily bash at me… they would finally destroy me.” Luhan and Kyungsoo listened to Tao as the latter quickly wiped the tear that escaped his eye. “But seeing how you guys reacted made me… made me… it guilts me. It hurts my conscience to even continue a day with my lie. And it’s just this moment that I had that courage at the right time to tell this to you guys. I’m really sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.” Kyungsoo and Luhan enveloped him in a hug and soothed him, knowing why he has to go through that. He’s just so afraid that history would repeat itself, and worse, it would happen when he’s finally starting to be happy. Another long silence passed but it was a comforting one. They packed  their things and washed their faces until it’s not that obvious anymore that they cried. They then went home. END OF FLASHBACK  As the door opened, confettis flew in the air, horns were blowed and a wonderful, warm feeling vested on them. It’s home. “WELCOME BACK TAO!!!” And there are more whistles and melodious noises that came from the most wonderful persons he ever met; the eleven persons that helped him… in a lot of ways. He smiled wide upon scanning the whole. But when his eyes landed on Kris… Luhan’s voice echoed in his mind. You have to let them know about it, Tao. The smile that was plastered in his face fell as he felt himself tense with nervousness and uncertainty. But a nudge at his arm and a smiling Kyungsoo made him regain back his confidence. He coughed loudly causing the others to stop on what they’re doing. He dropped on his knees as Luhan and Kyungsoo gave everyone an understanding look. “I, Huang Zitao is sincerely begging for your apologies as I… I…” You can do this Tao. “I lied to you. I don’t really have amnesia.” He finished his statement but is still kneels, waiting for anyone of them to say anything. And it was Lay who speaks. “I knew all along you don’t.” Tao looked up at him as he glanced on everyone. They’re smiling at him nonetheless the selfish act he did. “Lay told us about it… and well…” Minseok started and Sehun started it for him. “Kai’s missing Kyungsoo-hyung so much that he called him earlier and Kyungsoo-hyung—“ It was Kai who finished, a triumphant smile in his face. “He told us about it. And we understand you Tao hyung.” It was all enough for Tao to stand up and hug Luhan, followed by everyone, ending up into a group hug… except for one. “Duizhang?” Tao looked at Kris who had his head low and is not with them. “I’m really sorry Tao. I promise to change.” And even before he would even look up to see Tao, he was embraced by the panda and of course, with everyone else. They ended up clinging into a tower named Kris. The feeling is now a lot more relieving for everyone, it is bliss, glee, forgiveness, and a fresh new start that awaits them. “Ah, finally!” Kai said as he hugged tightly on Kyungsoo. He looked on Sehun doing the same to Luhan. “You missed me that much huh?” Kyungsoo smirked and Kai just answered him with a full kiss. They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Kyungsoo gave a good look on everything, everyone. “It’s really good to see everything back to the way they’re used to be again.” Kai then examined the surrounding, smiling for himself. “Yeah, it is. I’m now more than sure we’re a family.” Kyungsoo then looked at Kai before returning his gaze on the picture-perfect happiness that showcases. And it’s just now that EXO’s motto ringed to him, their oath. “We are one.”