[M] Scarred (1/1)
Scarred - Scar \skar\verb past tense: scarred : to mark (something) with a scar : to cause (someone) to feel great emotional pain or sadness because of a bad experience -My life would have been easier, if I didn't doubt on myself. If I didn't feel the pain, the anger and most of all the scar that just won't heal inside me. I thought if I had moved far away, I would be able to find the peace of mind I needed. The self-reassurance I needed to heal my heart, but never... It never came.No one in my whole entire life had given me the opportunity to live. Everyone I met, would only add a wound inside me, not only on the outside but also in the inside.I lost faith in humanity.And this all started when a guy name G-Dragon bullied me. He's the center of all the hate I have in the world.If he didn't...If he didn't... If he didn't...No...I am not going back down that road again. I am standing back up on my own two feet.There's no such thing as friends or family, everyone I meet are all enemies. I trust no one, no one but myself. You don't even trust yourself. Stop lying to yourself. No... It's only me against this cruel world. And thanks to G-Dragon, all I have in me is hate. And maybe... just maybe I'll be able to set myself free if I do it...And that this scar inside me will heal and disappear. Stop lying to yourself. It will not disappear. It's who you are. - I don't know exactly why I came back here. I didn't need a reminder of my life back then. Why is it that I like to torture myself from the world I didn't want to look back to? Why? Because no matter how far you try to distance yourself, it is who you are. You are ugly, weak, unworthy bitch. "No," I closed my eyes and try to hush the voices inside. "No... that's not true."I could feel my hands moisten from the sweat forming and my heart pounded heavily inside my chest. It felt just like yesterday, the very last memory of mine in this town that I told myself to forget. But it wasn't that easy to forget it all, after all G-Dragon was still here.I came back for only one thing.And that one thing is to give G-Dragon the hell he needed. I'm sure I'll meet him there someday, but for now he'll have to experience it first. "I'll make sure to leave you the scar, you deserve," I heard myself say before I enter the world I once lived in. [Flashback] Stare.Gawk.Glare.Gape.Leer.Disgust. These were written on everybody's face, not one dare to smile or say hi to me. Everybody in this school treated my like I'm an unwanted disease, a pest or a devil in disguise. No one dare to talk to me or even come close to me. Everyone treated me like I'm no human being. They called me different kind of names.From ugly bitch to the evil witch, they throw all sorts of names at me. I hide underneath my massive hair and thick glasses, but it only gave them ideas to insult me. I hated myself, from the outside to the inside. And no matter how much I hide myself, the more people noticed me.This would have never happened, if GD, also known as G-Dragon, hadn't started it. I'm treated like a disease that no one dare to touch. He makes my everyday life miserable, to the point...I felt the newly freshed cut on my wrist. If only I had the guts to cut deeper, I wouldn't be standing in front of these people.These people who judged me so quickly. "Hey fuck face!" someone yelled. "Get out of our sight! You're such a sore eyes in this school!" All the girls giggled. All squeaky and shit, I hated their giggles. "Yea, bitch get off the hallway," the plastic one named Sohee said. She's one of those bitches I try to avoid, but she's just everywhere. "You're souring everyone's mood!""Hey now," I felt myself shiver. I knew that voice. It's the only voice that gets me all pumped up. No, it's not all the girly, bubbly shit feelings. It's the only voice I try to get away from.I felt myself move, but his voice stops me. "Hey stop right there!" he yelled warning me not to move.This is what he likes. The attention from everyone. He likes to torture me when all eyes are on me. "Do you think I'll let you go so easily," I hear his footsteps get closer. I wanted to die right there. I wanted him to hit me so badly that it causes me to die. "No one gets away from me," he went on. "Without my permission."If there's a possible way for me to be even stiller, I'd be a perfect example. I couldn't move, I was frozen on my spot. I caught a glimpse of his worn and torn black Converse shoes down on the floor. I can't... I can't look at him or else the tears would fall.He'd laugh... then everyone would laugh.He wanted this moment... he always find a way to humiliate me in front of these people."Why are you so eager to run hmmmm?" I felt his fingers brushing my locks. I moved my head to the side, but the force of his hand had stopped me. And there his blazing eyes were on me, filled with threats and hate. "Please don't," I'd beg, but he'd only laugh which makes everyone laugh."Don't worry," he smirked. "I won't do anything to you." Which I know is a lie. He's up to something and I could feel it. Everyone anticipates his every move especially when it concerns me. They find this as their daily entertainment. You might be wondering where the hell are the teachers.They never cared.No one had rescued me."Dara...Dara...Dara," I prepared myself from what he's about to say or do. "Why are you such a sore eye in this campus. I mean you'd walk by and everyone's mood would just turn sour and bitter. You know..." his eyes were filled with anger. "If you would have cut deeper," I didn't realize he had captured my wrist where his fingers are tightly pressed on the fresh cut. "You wouldn't be standing right in front of me. You wouldn't be affecting everyone's mood.""Please don't," I tried to remove my hand from his tight grip. The pain, I thought I wouldn't feel is starting to build up inside me. Please don't cry. Don't cry Dara."Come on G! You know you want to do her!" one of his friends shouted teasingly. "I know that bitch has a vagina somewhere!" Everyone laughed when he laughed."You think I'd get with this ugly bitch right here?" GD uttered. He then turned his eyes on me again. "Do you think I'd actually fuck you? Don't get me wrong, Dara, but even if someone paid me 1 billion dollars to fuck you I wouldn't even think about it. Why would I get with some disgusting, ugly bitch like you? Tell me?!"He let out a tired sigh, "Get lost bitch! Get the fuck out of my sight!" he spat bitterly. And just when I thought I'd be able to run, I was wrong. As I was ready to run for my life, he did something different. He stuck one of his foot out so sudden, that my left foot caught the trap. I stumbled on my own feet causing me to trip face flat on the concrete floor. The books and notebooks in my hand flew scattering them everywhere on the hallway floor. The tears I tried to stop from falling earlier, had fallen. Everyone laughed as they saw me in pain and agony. They didn't pity me at all.I saw GD lowered himself making sure I was able to see his satisfied face. "Did you really think I'd let you go so easily?" he chuckled. "Yea... I don't think so. As long as you're here, your life is a living hell. Got it?"As he walked away everyone dispersed, some stepping on my stuff and even myself. "Serves you right bitch," I heard Sohee muttered. No one dared to help me. No one cared to stop and ask me if I was okay. No one.I was left on my own.Rather than feeling angry towards what happened, I didn't feel anything at all. I was too numb to even feel anything anymore. [end of flashback] There's so much more of what had happened. I don't know how I had survive a hell of high school. I continued to cut myself hoping to feel relief. A cope I thought that would help me heal. But no, every scar on my wrist is a living proof of pain, hatred and anger. Not only was I known as the ugly bitch back then, but I also had earned the new name suicidal. I didn't care.I only stayed because education meant so much to me more than letting all these people's torture get inside my head. I only had myself and that is all I needed.It was my only motivation to do well in life. That's what you think.And once I succeed, I'd come back here and find the man who was the center of my rage. I didn't come here for just a revenge. Oh no... I didn't come here for just a simple hello and goodbye. I came here for something more. I'm here to get the justice I needed. - I walked into the busy club on Friday night looking for someone in particular. I told myself, once I lured him in, there was no stopping myself from all my plans.There's no way he'd remember me. No way. I don't remember you at all either.I shook myself shrugging those voices again. "Leave me alone!" I hastily uttered. "Just let me be!" Once I spotted my prey, it was show time.As if he felt my presence, he quickly turned around and saw me. His eyes glowed, like he had spotted a treasure everyone was searching for."Well...well...well," he smirked. "I've never seen such new face in this club! It's quite refreshing.""I'm sure you've used that same line to every girl you see," I teased which made him smile. My stomach began to knot feeling uneasy just from the effect of him. No don't let fear get to you. You're strong."No...no...Not quite actually," he walked closer to me closing whatever gap that was left between us. "It's been only you. So what's your name sweet pea?""Sweet pea? Is that all you can do?" I smirked."Oh I can do more," he grinned. "Which I can offer you.""I'm sure," I walked passed him hoping I can get a drink of something strong. I could feel myself tremble. You're still the weak, ugly bitch everyone see! Stop fooling yourself."One straight tequila shot please," I ordered which the bartender nodded to. "My treat," GD threw in a ten which earned a smile from the bartender. "So, what's your name pretty face?""Dee," I answered hoping he'd get off my back for a little bit."Dee...? Are you from around here? I've never heard such name," he asked."Shouldn't I know your name first before we go all personal?" I smirked again."Right," he laughed. "My name is GD.""GD?" I pretend to be curious."It's short for G-Dragon. My friends back in high school started to call me that.""And why is that?" I looked at him as if I was amused with his name. "All I can tell you is, I spit like a Dragon," he explained. "I tell them what I think, no bullshitting needed.""Interesting," I uttered but deep down I wanted to take his glass of beer and hit him in the head. "I didn't realize dragons can talk.""No, it meant I spit fire like a dragon when I talk," he added."Are you questioning my knowledge here?" I asked pretending to be offended."Of course not, it's the last thing I would do to such pretty face," he beamed. Really...Another minute pass, he didn't utter a word. He was just looking at me perhaps examining my face. There's no way he'd recognize me."You look so familiar?" he murmured his eyes were on mine. "Like we've met somewhere before.""Not that I know of," I mumbled. "I wasn't born here.""Of course," he shook his head."I just thought..."