Moving on? or Not? (1/1)

“Hey! So what do you think?”“…”“Hon?”“…”“Irene?”“Oh. You said something?”  My thoughts about her was interrupted when I heard oppa’s voice.“I said, is it fine if I pick you up later at 6 pm?”, he said.“Hmm? Where are we going?”“Let’s have our dinner. I have a surprise for you.”, He said while smiling.“Oh. Sure. That’d be nice.” I told him as his car parked in front of my apartment.“See you later then. Bye. I love you.” Then he leaned in to kiss my cheeks and I went inside my apartment. The moment I made my step inside the apartment, I immediately threw my body into my bed. I felt really tired. There are a lot of happenings inside my mind these days. School, family, obligations and her. That’s when I realized that tomorrow will be my 100th day with oppa. I can’t believe that he was able to hold his patience with me for that long. It is my fault though, I know he makes a lot of effort on me and I know that he really loves me ignoring the fact that I couldn’t give back the love that he deserves. I thought that the moment I dated oppa I can finally forget about her. I thought that I can fall in love with him the way I fell in love with her but right now, I’m still teaching myself to love him back. I’m so unfair with oppa but he still loves me unconditionally. Honestly, I’m happy being with oppa but happiness is different when I’m with her. Everything felt magical that only she can make me feel. Even after a long time, my heart still shouts her name. Kang Seulgi. It’s funny because, Seulgi and I never dated. I don’t even have any idea about what we were. I met her when I was in my 3rd year and she was a transferee. She’s a lot younger than me but because of her grades, that’s why she got accelerated and became my classmate. What I felt for her was just a simple crush, but then everyone knew about it, thanks to talkative Wendy. It felt weird that after a week that my “simple crush” secret was spread out like wild fire, rumors were also flying that she liked me back. Although, I never believed since, assuming leads to disappointment. But deep inside I wished it was true. I was shocked when she started texting me and from that we became so close. We were so close that she’s anywhere I am and I am anywhere she is. We became so close but mostly our time was spent with teasing each other, pissing each other, and making fun of each other. We also never agreed on the same thing even ones. We were complete opposite. We always had our petty fights. That’s how we lived, but what’s nice about it is that, our day wouldn’t end without Seulgi saying sorry to me in her own sweetest way, even when I am most of the time at fault. In our last year as seniors, we still had our petty fights but those times, our fights became more serious. I mean, who wouldn’t? I am getting so confused to what we actually were. I don’t know why she suddenly gets so grumpy when I talk to guys or every time my locker is full of “love letters”. She always acts like that but I never know what she actually felt for me. That was also the time when I happened to be the student body president while she became the dance club president. Everything worsened since we never got time to talk to each other properly (since every time we get a chance to talk, we always ended up with worse fights). In our graduation, I thought that since Seulgi was so slow when making the first move I decided to give her a congratulatory gift and then confess my feelings. Especially when her sister, Yeri, told me that she had been practicing in front of their bathroom’s mirror on how to confess her feelings to me. At first I wasn’t able to believe but the she showed me a video of Seulgi. That time the only thing that was processed by my mind was the fact that she said, “Irene, I’m really sorry for being such a jerk. I know I acted so wrong but it was only because I l-l—ugh! No! Seulgi! That is so lame!” “Irene, I really looooovvve—ahfhyf! Ugh. No! Wrong! Wrong!” “Irene, I love you and that explains why acted like that. I really hope you can give me a chance. Ugh! I don’t know!” Watching the video gave me butterflies in my stomach and I just can’t help but to hug Yeri for being such an angel to me. That was the moment when I felt like floating in cloud nine. Seulgi actually liked, no, loved me back. The graduation wasn’t even starting yet when she gave me her gift and flowers, but then I already planned on giving her mine after the graduation. After the program, I went to find her so I could give her my gift but the moment I found her, it literally broke me in to thousands of pieces. I saw her kissing a girl and automatically, I felt a tear fell from my eyes. I wanted to kill the girl kissing my Seulgi but I was never her girlfriend so I don’t have any rights to do so. I hid and cried silently, but I accidentally hit a chair when I was doing so. “Sh*t! Is anybody there?”  I heard Seulgi say which made me panic. I didn’t know what to do. I know one thing’s for sure. She can’t see me in this state. I ran and saw a guy walking alone, I didn’t even know who he was, and all I know is that he’s a graduate because of his toga. I really felt sorry for the guy but, “Irene?!” I broke off the kiss when I heard Seulgi scream my name. “Seulgi? Oh gosh! This is so embarrassing. Sorry. Anyway, congrats! Bye!” I gave off all my will-power to look normal and ran away with the guy I just kissed. When I know that Seulgi wasn’t anywhere near, I let go of the guy’s hand and cried in a corner. I really thought that Seulgi loves me. I even expected for her to chase me like one of those dramas I watched, but then I reality hit me in the face when I realized that shits like those doesn’t happen in the real life. I never talked to her again after what happened. I spent my summer crying for her like a fool. Staring at the gift I was supposed to give her. Watching the flowers she gave to me, wither. I even watched the video of her practicing her confession to me again and again. Maybe she did love me, but grew tired because of our fights. Maybe she realized how tiring it was to love me. But even though we fight a lot of times, I’d rather see myself fighting with her every day of my life than being happy with another man. *ring ring ring* I immediately wiped my tears when I heard my phone ring. I didn’t even realize that I cried while remembering our memories. I remembered my dinner with oppa and went inside the shower.“I should be happy with oppa. I should forget about Seulgi.” I said as I opened the door revealing a smiling guy. The same guy I kissed in front of Seulgi in our graduation day.