Thinking (1/1)

Byeol tried to avoid talking to Joon, Jin and Sae. When she was at home she shoved her head in books, if she finished it before bedtime she read it again. At school, she busied herself  to the extent of coming to school early to hand out work or to stay at school late to clean up the classroom also with homework, extra credit when she couldn't do anything else she rode the lonely bus back home. In between time, when she forgot, she thought back to the roof. The roof that had changed everything, to fight the heartbreak she closed her eyes and recited lyrics from a song... "Although I'm crying, I'm eating so I guess I still want to live..." Why those lyrics she thought? Maybe it was the only lyrics she thought of when she sat eating ramen noodles one night. The bus rides home weren't the same, the three were still there, somewhere in the background. Byeol still felt them near, but she felt like such a burden that she ignored them first before they could ignore her. Ghost Boy no longer took the bus, after the whole roof incident, Byeol kept telling herself that if he was in her bus it was a sign that everything would be okay. He never showed, she stopped holding her breathe walking on to the bus and eventually took over his seat in the back. Joon followed Byeol, he was worried about Byeol. It had been days since she talking to him, he no longer tried to make conversations but just sat near her. Jin and Sae were here and there, they figured that Byeol wanted them to leave her alone so they kept their distance.  Byeol sat staring at the last page of her book, she had already read this book thrice but for some reason she wasn't able to read the last sentence. Reading the last sentence meant she had nothing else to do but read it all over again.  "You can't do this forever," Joon's voice invaded Byeol's heart.Byeol looked up and closed her eyes thinking of what to say, "I do my best.""And then what?" Joon was ready to give up, give up on whatever it was he was holding on to."He's not there anymore," Byeol didn't know why she was talking about Ghost Boy. "It's like he's gone and now what?""Who?" Joon knew who she meant but he wanted to hear it from her."I thought at least he would still be there and stupid me thought everything would be okay," Byeol didn't cry this time. "He's scared of me too! I saw it in his eyes, now he's no longer on the bus. Maybe I'm him now! Maybe I'm the weird person in back of the bus." Byeol's voice became shakey but she didnt stop there. "I always wondered about him, who he was, what he thought of and... It's me! I sit there and I feel people staring at me!"Joon had nothing to say, he did see people looking at Byeol a little uneasy."What am I suppose to do?" Byeol slammed her book, Joon had nothing to say back to her and it had confirmed what she was thinking. "I need to change my clothes." Before waiting for Joon to disappear she started changing.