Chapter 13~Kim Hyuna (2/2)
“Really? Already? Just stay for a little! We’ll all dance.” CL tries to convince you.“No, I’m not feeling well. I’m going to take the bus back.”
“No, I’ll drive you!” CL offers urgently, but you see DuJun’s disappointment.“No I want to be alone.” You’re not lying. “It’s been awhile since I’ve taken a bus. I want to go and have some time to myself.”She nods, understanding. You turn and walk right through the middle of the dance floor. You’re emotions are swarming.You fling the back door open with more strength than needed and JunHyung stands on the other side with wide eyes and a dropped mouth. His hand stays outstretched towards the door. He must have been just coming in. No Hara in sight. You look at him. You want him to see anger in your eyes but you fear that he sees your sadness instead. You push past him.“Hyuna.” He says and you stop. He stays by the door.
“What do you want?” you ask.“Why are you leaving?” he asks.“This party is stupid.” You answer without turning.He’s quiet but he doesn’t leave. You don’t know if you have the courage to confront him. You decide to take the chance.“Hara?” you say flatly.“It’s not like that.” He defends quickly. “We’re not together. She apologized and that’s all. We’re going to be okay with each other but not in a relationship.”You nod and turn. Eyes showing your hurt.“And me?” you ask.“I like you.” He says simply.A moment of silent passes between you.
“You can probably imagine my confusion.” You say flatly.“I can. But Hyuna… I can’t even be around you with that guy here. I can’t take him with you all the time. And the way you look at him, it makes me jealous. I’m not someone who handles this sort of stuff well.”
“The way I look at him?” you question. Do I look at him specially?“Yeah. When you look at me I see… friendship. Or a crush even. But when you look at that guy you look… interested. Happy. Comfortable. And it’s strange to me because you don’t even know him. So it kills me.”
“So what do you want me to do?” you ask.“I want you to choose. I’ll be with you but I don’t want that guy around.”
“It’s not up to me. My father hired him.”
“You still get a say. You could have him fired if you wanted.”You don’t want him fired.
“Why does that matter? It’s nothing.” You defend.“But it is.” He counters, walking closer. “You may not know it yet but I do.”
“So just like that?”“It has to be.” He says. “We’ll always have the memories though.”“The memories depend on you, JunHyung. You can make them great or make them terrible. It all depends on what you’re trying to say right now.”There’s silence as you stare at each other. Each of you has said what you wanted. You heard what you needed to hear even though you didn’t want it. You don’t understand how things all happened so fast. You turn to leave.
“And Hyuna?” he adds, you don’t turn around. “You look really pretty tonight.”Then you disappear. Down the street. To the bus station. On the bus. You wonder how things happened in only a week. How had everything changed? It's true, JunHyung hadn't made your heart hurt or ache... but you still felt down about his words and actions. You felt naive. Stupid. You'd thought too much into a relationship with him and got wound up for nothing. Easy come, easy go.
Your head is confused. You feel sad. Rejected. But yet... you find that you want comfort from someone... somewhere. An image of Guk flashes through your mind. The way he looked at you the night you were crying from a nightmare. The night he'd come to protect you with a lamp as a weapon. Just the thought of him calms your emotions a little. What is that?! You wonder how Guk suddenly became involved in the situation. Did you care for him? You couldn't. You barely knew him. But JunHyung said you did by what he saw in your eyes. What was in your eyes? It's true that with Guk in the house, you felt safer. But that couldn't be enough to develop feelings for him could it?
Now your head REALLY hurts. You're confused and don't really know who you like, if anyone. Maybe i'll just become a nun and live without men.
You make your mind blank, thinking of nothing. You hide from the thoughts of JunHyung, Hara, and even Guk.You get off a block from your house and walk quickly back. You burst through the front door. Guk is sitting on the bottom step and seems shocked to see you so soon. Miryo is nowhere in sight. Probably in bed already.“Wha…what are you doing home so soon?” Guk stumbles.You kick your flats off and they fly across the room. His eyes follow them.“It was a stupid party.” You repeat, sobs caught in your throat.
You go to walk past him to your room when he stands and grabs your arm. You stare ahead, angry. In some way, this is his fault. He searches your face.“What happened?” he asks softly.“None of your business.” You snap.“I want it to be my business.” He says coolly even though you’re steaming. “What happened.”“It’s nothing.”
“Was it that boy?”“Maybe.” You choke.He whips you around and holds you in another hug. This catches you off guard as well. You push and try to wriggle your way out but his arms are like iron bars.“Don’t be upset.” He says. Is he trying to soothe you?“Who says I am?” your voice cracks, ruining your point.“Come with me.” He says and he lets go only to grab your arm and pull you towards the door.“What? Where? I just want to sleep!” you whine.“I want to go out. I’m entitled to a day off.” His eyes lock on yours and you see that he’s serious. You look down at your feet.
“Wait here.” You say coldly as you turn to go upstairs.“You’ll be back?” he asks, waiting at the bottom of the steps.“Yes.” You answer without looking.You go into your room and fling open the closet. You pull out your converse and slip them on. You don’t know how you feel at the moment but you go down anyways.
Guk smiles when he sees your shoes and he takes your hand. He drives into the city and you stop at a club.The club isn’t huge but it’s crowded, loud, and dark. Guk orders you drinks and you two sit at the club. Conversation comes easily between you and him. You feel comfortable. Actually happy. Or is that the effect of the drinks? You both drink more and more and start to laugh with each other. He’s actually quite funny and has a great smile. His laugh is low just like his voice but you want to hear both more.Everything goes fast and the night goes on as you down more drinks. Your head starts to lose the stress and you wonder just once more about Guk and JunHyung. Do you like both? Do you like either? But now it definitely seems to be that both are involved. More drinks will push these thoughts out as well.“Let’s dance!” you laugh as you get up and pull him to his feet.“But I can’t dance!” he smiles.You both laugh as you move to the music. He actually can dance. Both of you dance together. Closely. Guk keeps other guys away from you and holds your waist from behind, as if claiming you. He’s always taken care of you. Ever since you met him. He is protective.You smile at the thought of him. Could you like him?
You stop dancing, suddenly feeling confused. What happened to the drinks? Where were the drinks?“What?” Guk asks.“I have to go to the bathroom.” You say a little too loudly.He smiles. “Hm, okay then. Need company?”“No I know where it is.” You laugh and pull away from him. You look over your shoulder to see him watching you and then he turns to go back to the bar.You smile and walk on through the people. You feel a tad disoriented. An upbeat song comes on and soon the whole floor is shaking with people dancing. You push people to get through and you get pushed around as well.Others start to dance around you and suddenly someone takes a hold of your side. You turn in shock to see another guy smiling at you. He wears dark glasses, even in a club like this. He had dark hair, half shaved, the other half styled in a Mohawk. He’s slightly taller than you. He has a nice smile. Clear skin. He’s…attractive. VERY attractive.You begin to move with him and soon you forget everything. All you know is that you and this guy are dancing together. Very together. His hands explore your curves and you smile. He's up against you and you two move together. You like this kind of attention. Who is this? You begin to remember Guk when the guy starts to herd you away from the crowd. He's pushing you and you start to feel slightly worried. Is this Guk? You don't remember.Soon, you and him are in the dark halls where the restrooms are. Weren’t you going to the bathroom earlier? With a strong force he turns you around and shoves your back up against the wall. You gasp at his sudden ferociousness. Your eyes widen as you look into his glasses, wishing you could see his eyes. Your hands feel the wall behind you.
Before you know what’s happening, his hands trap your face and his lips crush yours. They’re hard. Eager. Urgent. Angry? You try to kiss him back feeling rushed but you can’t keep up with his random movements. You take gasps for air where you can but soon he starts to push you further into the darkness of the hall and farther away from the club. You twist your head to the side to break the kiss for air but this angers him. He grunts and shoves you hard into the corner of the back walls. You gasp and look at him, terrified. Then he’s on you again. One hand traps behind your neck while the other goes under your shirt. You squeal as your hand goes on top of his in effort to keep him away from you. This angers him again and he grips your hand hard and pins it to the wall. He’s practically growling at you. You are scared now. His kisses aren’t passionate at all. They’re terrifyingly angry. Rage. You whimper as his teeth take your bottom lip. Not pleasantly. It hurts and you’re scared. Your head swims and you don’t know what to do. As if you’re drowning.