until i breathe (1/2)

The night of October 20, 2011, she is not alone. There is a young man standing in front of her and he’s handsome and has a different aura to that of Woohyun but it puts her to ease all the same.

But he’s not Woohyun, she reminds herself. And there is no one who could ever be Woohyun in her life ever again.

But he’s standing there, and it would be rude if she keeps the bench to herself when her designated date is already late. Still, she doesn’t move. Instead, she raises an eyebrow and, as politely as she can, asks if there is anything she can do for him.

“My name is Sunggyu.” He tells her and tilts his head to the side. He motions to the empty spot beside her. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Yes, I do. She thinks, but her body betrays her and her head shakes a clear no.

Sunggyu sits down with a small smile of thanks and they fall into a comfortable silence. He does not look at her and she does not look at him, but the atmosphere does not seem to be that of strangers. It’s awkwardly comforting.

“Nice day, today.” He says later, breaking the quiet calm. She doesn’t say anything but nods in response. “It would have been nicer, I think, if the memory of October 20 doesn’t haunt the both of us so easily like it does.”

Her head snaps to look at him. There is surprise in her eyes and tension in her shoulders. What is he talking about?

“He’s my friend too, you know?” he whispers to the wind. Sunggyu isn’t looking at her; rather, he’s staring straight ahead, as if he can’t even bear to see the sight of her. “My best friend, in fact, and I don’t think he would want his girlfriend to be so miserable all the time on the supposedly happiest day of his life.” She keeps quiet and Sunggyu goes on. She can’t bear to tell him to shut up, but she can’t bear to listen to him either.

She twists the silver engagement band on her left ring finger out of habit.

She stares at his face as he talks. There is something in his eyes that remind her so much of Woohyun, and yet, not of Woohyun. Perhaps it’s the distant look on his face as he stares ahead, talking and rambling. Or something about his voice that seems to both soothe her and send her over the edge. So much of Nam Woohyun and yet none of him.

“Who are you?” she asks him under her breath. Sunggyu turns to her and tilts his head.

“I told you – I’m Sunggyu.”

“Why did you come here?” she asks, again in that quiet manner of hers. Sunggyu’s hand twitches on top of his lap, but he doesn’t move after that.

“I always come here. You just don’t see me.”

“Do you see him then?” She asks quietly, as if to herself. But Sunggyu hears her all the same and tells her no, not at the moment anyway. But he’s lying, she knows, because his eyes drift off to the side every once in a while and she knows.