[M] Chapter 4 (1/1)

Six  weeks passed before Gikwang could get a grip on how his life had changed. Everyday was the same; he thought about Doojoon constantly, cried until there were no tears left, worked pitiful amounts, threw up, picked at his food and went to bed. His chest had begun to feel sore on top of everything else he was going through and it was frustrating him immensely.Narsha had been watching him carefully, taking in each new change in the boy’s body. She had seen this happen to a few of her friends outside the orphanage and suspected Gikwang had done more with Doojoon than either had ever mentioned. She did her best to help him, bringing him countless jugs of water, giving him more food at dinner and forcing him to eat it before he damaged his body.She cornered him one night as he was going to bed, stepping in front of him and obstructing his path to his mat. She folded her arms and looked into his eyes directly.“Kiki, baby, I think I need to tell you something.” She began softly. Gikwang looked up at her and pulled a confused expression. “You know how your body has been acting strange lately?” the boy nodded, absentmindedly rubbing his sore stomach. “I don’t think it’s just down to grief.”“What is it then?” He asked, suddenly hopeful. He wanted to be sick. Narsha had told him that night that Doojoonie would be waiting for him on the other side and every inch of his heart ached to be back with him. He wanted to die too, so he wouldn’t be hurt and lonely all the time. He longed to see Doojoon, to be able to wrap him up in his arms and kiss him again.“I think.. I think you might be pregnant.” Narsha whispered. Gikwang’s lip quivered. He covered his mouth with his hands, tears welling up in his sore, red eyes.“D-Doojoonie’s?” he said hoarsely, barely making a sound. Narsha nodded.“Well I’m guessing, seeing as I can’t imagine you being intimate with anyone else.” She said quietly. Gikwang’s eyes glistened with the pain of the space in his life that had been created by Doojoon’s absence. He wiped them and sighed, his heart hurting.“It’s d-due to that that he d-died..” he sobbed. Narsha’s eyes widened and she pulled him into a hug.“What do you mean, baby?” she asked, squishing her cheek on the top of his head.“We got c-carried away fooling around that night and h-he got caught out of bed.. It’s all m-my fault..” he cried, feeling more emotional than he ever had before. Narsha sang softly into his hair, trying to stop him freaking out further. Gikwang pulled away from the hug and nibbled his lip.“Kiki, it’s not your fault. It’s Seunghyun-ssi’s for beating him so hard and letting it get infected. You loved him more than anyone else in the whole world and you would never have hurt him on purpose. Seunghyun-ssi whipped him and gave him extra lashes when he didn’t even have to. You cannot blame yourself.” Narsha said fiercely. Gikwang looked at his feet. There was a small silence while the boy thought everything over.“So..” he started. “You think I’m pregnant?”“Yes, it’s the only explanation. Nothing else makes sense.”“S-so I have a baby- a real human baby- growing inside me r-right now?” he stammered, suddenly stroking his stomach. Narsha nodded, placing her hand over his.“Yes and you’re going to start showing in a few weeks or so. This little baby of yours is going to get even bigger and you’ll need to be very careful so as not to hurt him or her.” She warned. Gikwang’s eyes became wider.“How will I work? I can’t lose the baby as well as Doojoonie...” Narsha rubbed his back.“You’re going to have to tell the head of the institution. If you keep working, you could risk the baby’s health. Plus, they’re going to need to give you extra food seeing as you’re eating for two now.” She said calmly. “I’m going to do my best to help you, sweetheart.” Gikwang grabbed her hands and squeezed them hard.“You’re a saint, noona.”“It’s the least I can do to help you. You know what you and Doojoon mean to me. Now get some sleep so your baby can relax, ok? We can talk more tomorrow. Goodnight, Kiki-pie.” She pinched his cheeks like she always used to do and patted the place where his heart was. “And goodnight to you too, Doojoonie.” She finished in a hushed voice. Gikwang smiled although his eyes were damp.“Goodnight, noona.” He replied, one hand on his stomach and one on his heart. The next three weeks seemed to go by quite slowly. Since discovering his pregnancy, Gikwang had become extremely aware of his surroundings, seeing everything as a threat to the little person he was carrying. Work became harder and harder to do as the slightest bit of physical work wore him out and he found himself needing to eat more often than he was allowed to. By now, the children had started to wonder what was going on. They had continued to help Gikwang with his quota, covering up to half of his required weight of broken stones between them even though the teenager profoundly refused the help. However, they simply thought he was still sick from mourning his lover.“No, no, no! You’re tired and sick!” Junhyung insisted, picking up another stone and wielding his tool, sending it smashing down on the stone and breaking it into little bits.“Junhyung! You’ll hurt yourself!” Gikwang exclaimed, getting up to stop the little boy doing his work but groaning as a new ache attacked his body. Taecyeon looked worried and ran up to the teenager.“Gikwanggie hyung! Are you ok?” he squeaked, grabbing Gikwang’s hand. The older boy smiled through his pain and nodded, sitting down and pulling Taecyeon onto his lap.“I’m doing very well, thanks to you little angels!” he said, trying to be enthusiastic and positive even though he missed Doojoon so much it hurt. He wasn’t used to being alone all the time. He had the children, of course, but he missed grown-up conversations and the way Doojoon would always cheer him up or give him butterflies. He missed having something to look forward to after a hard day of work and the little loving glances they would steal across the room. Taecyeon saw him start to cry again and wrapped his tiny arms around Gikwang’s neck.“I know you’re sad, Kiki. That’s why we want to help!” he explained into the older boy’s shoulder, his voice muffled and cute. Gikwang let himself cry, holding the tiny boy tightly but making sure his little bump wasn’t under any pressure.“You boys are helping me so much. I can’t thank you enough.” He murmured, pushing Taecyeon gently off his lap and patting his back. “Now let’s get back to work before Seunghyun-ssi notices that we’re slacking off again.” Taecyeon smiled, showing off his adorable sticking-out teeth.At dinner time, Gikwang’s stomach rumbled. The baby inside him was already demanding and the boy couldn’t help but chuckle slightly and give his stomach a fond rub. He quickly downed his water and spooned his bland porridge into his mouth vigorously. It just wasn’t enough. He was hungry for more. Narsha was to the rescue immediately, taking his empty bowl secretively and shoving another in front of him so it would look like he hadn’t started on his first. Gikwang smiled appreciatively. She smiled back, putting her hand over her heart and patting it.“Doojoonie would want me to look after you.” She whispered. Gikwang looked next to him at the empty space on the bench where his boyfriend would usually be. He frowned and looked at his feet miserably. Narsha gave his hand a quick squeeze and left, walking around and collecting the other children’s empty bowls.Taecyeon, who was sitting on Gikwang’s other side, reached over and sprinkled the raisins Narsha had given him earlier over his hyung’s porridge. Gikwang nearly cried at how nice everyone was being to him and gave the little boy a small hug, pinching his nose fondly. He only meant to eat half of the extra porridge so as not to appear greedy, but the whole contents of the bowl was in his stomach before he knew it. He licked his lips and sighed contentedly. It had been a long time since he had eaten so much in one go.“Looks like our little baby is getting me all that food you promised me, Doojoonie.” He whispered lovingly, wondering if Doojoon was listening somewhere. He thought he felt the familiar strong hand of his boyfriend on his shoulder and gasped, turning around. Upon seeing nothing there, he sighed and got up, leading the other children out of the room and back to bed. A further three weeks passed and by now, the bump was really showing. Gikwang stumbled out of bed to throw up first thing every morning and sometimes throughout the day, too. Although, throughout all the pain, all he could think about was that baby and how else he could look after him or her. He felt like the baby was the last thing connecting him to Doojoon and it helped him feel like there was something to live for.Gikwang groaned as he lifted the heavy tools he had to use for splitting stones. He dropped it on the floor, his arms too weak to withhold such a weighty object. His stomach muscles ached as he felt another cramp coming on. Unfortunately, Seunghyun walked past just as he collapsed onto his knees next to Junhyung, who was somehow managing his workload just fine despite being so small and skinny. Seunghyun’s eyes fell upon Gikwang’s obvious baby bump.“Did more with that disgusting rat than you cared to explain?” he jeered, enjoying Gikwang’s agonised expression. “So, I guess now I know why the scoundrel was out of bed that night. Too busy with your little whoring sessions to remember the time, eh? Well, we all know who to blame for his death then.” He carried on. Gikwang scrunched up his fists, angry tears threatening to spill from his narrowed chocolate hues.“Forgive me, sir, but I wasn’t the one who whipped him until his back was cut open and then left him to get an infection in that putrid room. I love him and I wouldn’t ever have put him in danger on purpose.” The boy fought back through gritted teeth. Seunghyun smirked at the sudden fire.“Ah, so you can do something other than snivel. Get back to work boy, I’m doubling your quota. I will personally stand here and escort you back to bed when, and only when, you have completed. Quick sharp, boy. Wouldn’t want to be late back to bed, would we? Can’t have you getting sick, too. Especially seeing as you’re carrying another expendable little good-for-nothing” he drawled, loving the anguish he was causing.“Yes, sir.” Gikwang spat, turning his head back to his work and struggling with the tools.It was past eleven by the time the teenager had finished and he was exhausted. The baby kicked his insides hard as if crying out for some sleep.“I know, baby, I know.” Gikwang whispered, stretching his limbs and carrying his finished work back to Seunghyun, who made sure to give it a lengthy look-over to check it had all been done- and to keep the poor boy from getting to bed, of course.He fell asleep as soon as his head hit his mat, just managing to mumble goodnight to Doojoon and his baby before slipping into dreamland. Narsha poked her head around the door and shook her head, tutting at how overworked the pregnant boy was.“I have to do something about this.” She vowed to herself, wracking her brains for an idea. Gikwang couldn’t stay here, or else he would get sick and endanger himself and his baby. Suddenly, she had it. She knew exactly who could help. A smile spread across her face and she scurried off to the maids’ quarters to finalise her plan.  A/N: hello :) I just realised I haven't been author's-note-ing witht this story! I'm so crazily grateful to anyone who is taking the time to read this! It's taken so long to write but I hope it's enjoyable and that it's been worth the wait. You don't know how happy it makes me to see the notification when I get a new subscriber.. :D It's a feeling I've missed. Now, I'll stop rambling so you can enjoy~~~~

- b2uty4kiki <3