[M] -fin (1/1)

The spoon involuntarily dropped from Chanyeol’s hand, snapping said male out of his daze. He jerked his head back in surprise when he heard the loud clanking noise that the metal spoon made with the porcelain plate, blinking before looking down to find his spoon trembling on his plate until it came to a stop. Chanyeol lifted his head back up to connect eyed with the male sitting opposite of him at the dining table, a look of concern and worry on his face as he stared at Chanyeol with furrowed brows and frowning lips.“Dude,” the male started, his voice startling Chanyeol more than it should. “Are you okay?”Chanyeol shook his head, feeling heat of embarrassment rising on his cheeks and the back of his neck as he stuttered, “I-I am fine.”The male was not convinced by Chanyeol’s statement. “Are you sure?”Chanyeol nodded as he said, “I am sure.”The male squinted his eyes at Chanyeol and the latter could not help but to shrink away from the former’s scrutiny, clearing his throat to get rid of the awkward atmosphere as he changed the subject. “S-So, you got a girlfriend?”The male raised a brow at the obvious avoidance of the previous topic, but did not attempt to press on about it as he nodded and answered, “Yes, I finally got myself a girlfriend.”Chanyeol tried to smile as much as he can, hoping that it did not turn out crooked as he chirped, “That is great to hear! What is her name? How long have you two been together?”The male was rather taken aback by the sudden barrage of questions, and it must have shown on his face because Chanyeol was smiling sheepishly as he apologised, “Sorry, I guess I got a little too excited.”The male smiled warmly at Chanyeol, shaking his head as he reassured, “It is okay, I do not mind.”Chanyeol managed to return the smile before the male answered his questions, “Her name is Sojin, and we have been together for about a week now?”Chanyeol widened his eyes. “You two have been together for a week already?”The male nodded, which led to Chanyeol sputtering out, “Why are you only telling me this now?”“I was not ready,” the male said as he turned his head away, not daring to look at the hurt expression on Chanyeol’s face for not telling him sooner.Chanyeol was indeed hurt, but not for the reason the male thought.Chanyeol bit his bottom lip, forcing down the sick feeling that was rising in his chest as he attempted a smile. “Well, either way, congratulations on getting a girlfriend, Kyungsoo.”The male turned back to Chanyeol, wide eyes softening and lips pulling into a heart shaped smile. “Thank you, Chanyeol.”

“Kyungsoo has a girlfriend.”Chanyeol would have laughed at the comical reaction of Kyuhyun almost dropping the porcelain cup he was wiping and Ryeowook quickly catching it before it actually meets the ground, but he was too caught up by the thunderstorm of emotions inside of him to give a care as he tried to process the news dropped on him just the day before this.Chanyeol had meant to meet up with Jongwoon that day, but the latter was out and the two housemates that Jongwoon shared the house with was in at that time, so he just let himself be welcomed. Either way, it was not like Chanyeol did not know the two other people living under the same roof as Jongwoon, just like how he knows that Jongwoon feels like a third wheel every time he was with them. Just that, compared to Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, Chanyeol was closer to Jongwoon since they had been neighbours who went to the same schools together, and the latter was somewhat like an older brother figure to Chanyeol.Oh well, having some company is better than not having any.“Kyungsoo has a what now?” Kyuhyun asked, still in a state of shock as Ryeowook helped him put back the cup that he dropped and almost broke.Chanyeol sighed and nodded. “Kyungsoo has a girlfriend.”“How long was this?” Kyuhyun questioned, sounding a bit outraged while Ryeowook silently took the cloth that Kyuhyun had been using to wipe the dishes away from him.Chanyeol heaved a sigh as he answered, “It has been a week or so already.”“One week?” Kyuhyun quizzed with widened eyes, shocked at the discovery whereas Ryeowook just glanced over with a look of concern. “Kyungsoo has been together with this Soju girl for seven days and more already?”“Her name is Sojin,” commented Chanyeol briskly, not able to push away the itch to correct Kyuhyun.“Whatever her name is,” the comment was promptly waved off by Kyuhyun as he shook his head and lean against the counter behind him, Ryeowook who was beside him continuing on to wash the plates and wipe them before putting them back to their original places. “Seriously though, Kyungsoo must be joking about this relationship he is having with this girl, right? That should be it.”Chanyeol could only sigh at the elder’s reluctance to accept the truth, lowering his head tiredly as he drawled, “Kyungsoo is serious about this relationship, Kyuhyun. He is truly head over heels for this girl, you should have seen it. The look that he has on his face every time he receives a message from her, or when he sends one to her.”Chanyeol stopped talking, not being able to bring himself to continue as he felt tears welling up in his eyes, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he forced back the salty tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Chanyeol did not notice the look of pity that Kyuhyun shot his way, nor had he notice the water no more running as Ryeowook put away the last of the washed dishes before turning around to face him, a contemplative look plastered on his face. Chanyeol was so busy trying to calm down his whirlwind of thoughts that he practically shut out his surroundings and only focused on his train of thoughts, the gears in his head turning rapidly as he tried but failed to stop himself from thinking too much, futilely attempting to push away the tears brimming in his eyes and the son forcing its way in his throat.“Chanyeol,” he soon heard someone called, but barely had the heart to answer it as he continued to have his head lowered.“Chanyeol, look at me,” the simple order floated into his ears, and the gentleness of the voice plus the sincerity in the tone were enough to convince Chanyeol to finally look up from his lap, the tears glistening in his eyes as he bit on his bottom lip.Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were already in front of Chanyeol at that point, having moved over from the kitchen at some point during the youngest’s mooning. Ryeowook was looking at Chanyeol with the softest gaze and most comforting smile on his lips, meanwhile Kyuhyun just stood behind Ryeowook with his arms crossed as he watched the scene before him. Ryeowook smiles a bit wider when Chanyeol obeyed his request, bringing a hand up to ruffle the latter’s messy brunette curled locks as he cooed soothingly.“It is okay, Chanyeol. It is okay, there is nothing that you have to worry about.”Chanyeol stared at Ryeowook as he pulled out the chair opposite of him to sit down, the latter’s gaze still locked on the former as he took his hand and started rubbing the back of it in a relaxing manner. “How do you feel? About all of this.”Chanyeol was tempted to cast his eyes downward, but he remembered why he was looking at Ryeowook in the first place and decided to just keep on staring at the latter, heaving a soft sigh as he answered, “Just, confused?”Ryeowook squeezed Chanyeol’s hand in understanding, encouraging him to continue.Taking in a deep breath, Chanyeol continued, “On the one hand, I want to be happy for him because he got a girlfriend now. I should be happy for him since he is happy too, being able to find someone like her.”“But,” said Chanyeol with a half hearted chuckle and a shake of his head. “As you guys should already know by now, I like him. I like Kyungsoo. And, I am jealous of the girl who got to have Kyungsoo. I want him to be mine, I want him all for myself. I do not want anyone else to have Kyungsoo, he is mine and I do not want to share him.”“I know I should not be feeling like this,” he continued to say, his voice getting desperate the more he went on. “It is wrong, I should not be thinking about controlling people and making them my own. They do not belong to me, so I have no right to be jealous of anything that revolves around them. I also should not condemn his girlfriend, she did nothing wrong.”“But still-”Chanyeol could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he choked on his own words, having to speak so fast that he forgot to just stop and breathe. Chanyeol was feeling so overwhelmed by the barrage of emotions after having known that his long time crush was dating another person, someone who is prettier, more elegant, and just everything that Chanyeol was not. Chanyeol wished so desperately that the person Kyungsoo would instead date was someone more similar to himself, because at least then he would not be so worried about being not good enough for Kyungsoo, and he would also know that he might stand a chance to win the other’s love.Ryeowook reached over the table and brought one of Chanyeol’s hand into his then, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he flashed the latter a comforting smile. Chanyeol could only stare at the elder as the latter showed his worry and concern to him, the elder wanting nothing more than to help him with his undying love towards Kyungsoo, especially now that said person was taken. Even Kyuhyun, a man who never bothered about the affairs caused by people that does not at least concern him in one way or another, had also pulled out a chair beside Ryeowook and sat on it, his brows knitted together in equal worry and concern as his lover.“It is okay, Chanyeol,” the eldest of the three went on to say. “Calm down, stop for a moment. Do not think too much, let your mind take a break. Remember to breathe.”As if the word itself held some sort of weight in it, Chanyeol found himself inhaling long deep breaths before exhaling them in one rush, his chest expanding and contracting with every intake and release of air from his lungs. It lasted for some time, with Chanyeol just remembering how to breathe while Ryeowook and Kyuhyun stared at him, one in patience and the other in worry respectively. None of the three acknowledged how much time had passed with only Chanyeol calming himself down, but soon the youngest of the trio was breathing more normally and steadily, and this in turn made him feel just the slightest bit better and putting his seniors at ease.A moment of silence passed, before Ryeowook continued, “It is okay to feel that way, Chanyeol. It is normal, it is expected, it is human.”Chanyeol looked up at Ryeowook, eyes glassy with tears that he held back as the elder went on to tell him, “Please do not be so harsh on yourself. I can understand how you feel. After all, I have experienced it myself before.”At those words, Ryeowook turned his head just enough so he could shoot a certain someone who was sitting beside him a hard glare, prompting the said man to cower in his seat while Chanyeol chuckled lightly in mild amusement.“Either way,” and then, Ryeowook has his attention back on him again, eyes serious but smile sincere. “Even though I have gone through this before like you are going through it now, in the end, look where have I come to? The same guy who broke my heart by being with someone else ended up being the love of my life, and there is no way I would trade anything in this world for this feeling I have for him.”“Just like you, I had been feeling terrible too when Kyuhyun got himself a girlfriend,” reminisced Ryeowook as he let slip a chuckle. “Hell, I felt like something in me died when he suggested to marry the woman!”“For a very long time, I hated the woman,” said Ryeowook with a smile that did not reach his eyes. “I hated her for stealing my man. I hated how she was the one that Kyuhyun decided to pour his attention on, so much that he was willing to do it for the rest of his life. I hated every single second of knowing that she was with him and that it was not me in her place instead.”“But,” the eldest among the three paused for just a second so he could collect his thoughts, inhaling slowly before sighing out as he continued, “More than all of those, I hated myself for feeling like this.”“I realised that even though I am not happy about the relationship, it did not mean that Kyuhyun felt the same way, nor did the girl. Every time I saw the two of them together, with bright smiles and crinkling eyes on their faces, I had to remind myself that yes, not everything will go as planned, no matter how much you want them to. Even if you wish that it is you that they choose, fate has other plans and you have to either let it go and accept it, or sit back and wait and continue to suffer.”“I chose the latter, obviously,” the male chuckled, making a hand gesture to motion himself, a not-so-proud smile gracing his lips before he dropped his hands to lay them crossed on his lap. “I thought I was stupid back then, wanting to suffer being with Kyuhyun instead of letting my feelings go and moving on. You do not know how many people told me to just forget about it and continue on with my life. Jongwoon himself was so worried of me that he had to drag me out from my bedroom because I was willing to make him starve to death so I could wallow in my own self pity.”“However, some time passed and suddenly, Kyuhyun and the woman broke up with each other,” he went on to story-tell, leaning back into his seat as he thought. “He said something about falling out of love being the reason for the break up.”Kyuhyun chuckled awkwardly at that, scratching the back of his neck as Chanyeol turned his attention from Ryeowook to him. “At that time, I felt like there was something amiss with my relationship. I do like her, I will not lie about that, but there was just something about her that was missing and seemed unfitting for me. I thought she was the perfect match for me, since she shared so much similarities with me, from our favourite songs down to our favourite games to play when we are bored out of our minds.”“I thought living with someone who shares the same interests as you for the rest of your life is the most perfect you can ever live,” the younger of the couple looked up at the ceiling, as if he could see his past there on the painted concrete. “Apparently, I was wrong. It was because we were so similar, we had difficulty balancing out each other and we just kind of ended up pulling away from each other.”“That was when Ryeowook came in,” he looked at said male as he spoke, a gentle smile forming on his lips as he stared at his lover with adoring eyes. “And it was also then that I realised how different we were, and yet how close we stayed ever since the first time we met thirteen years ago.”“As Ryeowook continued to stay by my side after the break up, I slowly started to notice some things,” the brunette continued to say, placing his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand whilst tilting his head towards Ryeowook so he could see him, a dreamy smile crossing his face as he said dreamily, “For example, Ryeowook would make sure that I go to bed before midnight so I could wake up early the next day before going to work. Before that habit, I was a not a morning person and would stay up all night just playing video games.”“That one time I woke up in the middle of the night only to find him still on his computer, I was not very pleased,” the eldest sighed, turning to glare at Kyuhyun who quickly glanced away with a nervous chuckle.“On that same note, as mischievous as I am,” he continued to say. “I came to realise that the man beside me is as calm as a mountain until you cross him too far. Then, he will become a true terror and a force to never reckon with. His fury does not show, but you can feel it in his actions and snide remarks. They are awful, I must say.”Chanyeol laughed, albeit sounding a bit scared himself. He had heard from Jongwoon about how terrifying Ryeowook could be when he is angry, but he was never able to picture a man as effeminate and frail like Ryeowook to unleash any sort of horrendous fury unto anyone who cause it. Then again, Chanyeol wished not to meet the eldest at that state ever in his life since after all, looks could be deceiving.“We are straying off topic,” the other cleared his throat, wanting to continue his part of the story. “Aside from that, Ryeowook is gentle, unlike me who could barely give a damn about what I break or hurt.”“That caused us a lot of trouble,” the eldest grumbled under his breath, which Kyuhyun nodded in confirmation to as he added unnecessarily but helpfully, “Ryeowook is right. And believe me when I say this, but if it was not for him, I am pretty sure that I would have made more enemies than I do of friends.”“Ryeowook is so very different from me, and yet he never left my side, not even once in our lives together,” the younger of the couple went on to explain, his hand automatically finding Ryeowook’s who looked over at him in curiosity and slight amusement. “It took me too long to notice that Ryeowook had liked me for as long as we had known each other, and it definitely took me longer to realise that I had always fancied Ryeowook.”Chanyeol noticed Kyuhyun giving Ryeowook’s hand a squeeze, and watched with an unconscious smile gracing his lips when he saw the latter returning the gesture, glancing back up at Kyuhyun as the man spoke, “So, to wrap it all up, Ryeowook and I soon got together and fell in love so much that we are willing to live the rest of our merry lives together. I do not think I would be able to survive without Ryeowook by my side at least once a day, I think it is just too much for me.”“Either way, I guess what we really want to tell you is,” interrupted Ryeowook out of the blue and Chanyeol legit jumped in his seat in surprise as he snapped his eyes over to the eldest as he spoke, “It may be painful now that the person you adore is with someone else, but that does not mean that you have to give up on hope so soon. There might be the smallest chance that things does not go nicely between the one you like and their partner, and you can hope then that they would be yours soon. Of course, do not start going around jinxing at people who fell for and got together with your crush, or start cursing their dating relationship because that is just plain cruel.”“If the time comes when there is really no way that you are able to be theirs, then you will just have to let it go,” explained Ryeowook as he leaned back in his seat, his eyes soft as he gazed at Chanyeol. “It is not good to always cling on one person. If you are lucky enough, you will already have moved on from your crush before your realisation. If not, then you will have a hard time trying to get over your pining, and let me tell you, that experience will be a very terrible one for sure.”“Just remember though,” piped in Kyuhyun cheerily. “If you ever need anything, we will be here for you. Whether your relationship with Kyungsoo has gone one step further or goes extremely awry, or if you just want someone that you can rant about your love life with. You will know where to find us.”Chanyeol looked between the two of them and he was heavily reminded of a pair of lovely couples living next door who gives advices to their young and inexperienced neighbour. The both of them were looking at him with soft eyes and equally soft smiles, and Chanyeol just could not help but to feel at ease. These two people may not be the most subtle couple when it comes to public display of affection, but at least they give decent advice and relatable stories to tell.“Thank you,” said Chanyeol as he bowed his head, a smile creeping up his face, truthfully grateful for their help.At least Chanyeol knew now that if he ever need someone to comfort him about his terrible love life, he can always go to these two.

By the time Chanyeol came back to his shared apartment with Kyungsoo, the conversation which he had with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun had already seeped fully into his brain and finished processing, everything that he had been told by them about their relationship registering in his mind as he simultaneously looked back on his bond with his friend since childhood. Up until the point Kyuhyun broke up with his ex-girlfriend, the two elder’s relationship was very similar with Kyungsoo’s and his, starting off as friends before one of them got a girlfriend and started dating happily, with the other single friend who secretly likes the former to feel anguished about the situation and envy towards the lucky girl. Although, unlike Ryeowook and Kyuhyun who ended up being together after all the ups and downs they encountered together, Chanyeol highly doubted that he would have the same chance with Kyungsoo about a possible relationship blooming between them, let alone having the chance to be with Kyungsoo and love him for the rest of his life.Still, even though his terrible luck at choosing his interested partner, Chanyeol decided that he would still continue to be Kyungsoo’s friend no matter what, and support him with every cell and fibre in his body, give the latter all his love and attention because that is what friends do, to be there for one another and to help each other no matter the cause. And so, with that thought and goal in mind, Chanyeol continued to stay by Kyungsoo’s side and suffered every second of his life knowing where Kyungsoo had disappeared off to at night or who he had brought home to spend the night over in the quiet confines of his bedroom, even when Chanyeol was just sleeping in the room right beside his. Chanyeol acted as if the relationship between his crush since childhood and a girl he grew to not be very fond of did not bother him, when in fact it disturbed him so much to the point that he would sometimes catch himself just staring at them from afar, probably when he was standing in the kitchen doorway with a mug of milk tea while the couple were lounging on the couch in the living room and just enjoying each other’s warmth and company, their legs tangled as they whispered sweet nothings to each