Final (1/1)

Sunlight shone through the open window and fell onto the dark brown locks of 7 year-old Suzy, who was sprawled on the floor with an orange crayon in hand and the box of coloured crayons in front of her. Her palms started getting sweaty as she tightened her grip onto the crayon, trying to think of something to draw. She glanced around the room. At a corner was a disorganised pile of origami crimson roses which she hadn’t thought of what to do with yet. She loved to fold them, but even that got boring after some time. In the middle of the room, below the window, was her bed, and beside it was a simple side table with a lamp. Her room was plain. Her room was clean. Her room was boring.She turned her attention back to the blank piece of drawing block and bit her bottom lip. She drew random zig-zag strokes across the white paper with the orange crayon and completed it with an orange twirl of mess in the middle before throwing the crayon down onto the cold, hard floor with force. The crayon broke into two and Suzy furrowed her thin brows. She felt like crying.Her room was a dismal grey, in contrast to the greenery outside. (Or perhaps Suzy has just been seeing too much of her room that even the colours began to fade.) She heard a group of children laughing happily in the distance. A tear drop fell down her left cheek and onto the drawing block, smearing the orange-coloured strokes. “But all kids go out and play!” She had retorted back.“Yes, but you’re different, Suzy.”“How so?” she croaked indignantly.“You’re special. You’re special to us, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”Feelings of remorse tugged at Suzy’s heart when she heard her mum say that, but she still couldn’t help letting slip a soft whisper.“Then why can other kids play outside? Why don’t their parents protect them as well?”“Like I said, Suzy, you’re special. Just be a good girl and listen to us, okay?” Her mum locked her in a warm embrace and kissed her forehead lightly.With her quiet tears wetting her mum’s blouse, Suzy nodded her head and said softly, “I’m sorry.”Suzy sensed that there was a reason behind her parents’ persistence – maybe it was an event in her younger childhood days, but she couldn’t remember what it was no matter how hard she tried. Then again, maybe she never knew. Suzy had no siblings, but she loved her parents more than anything in the world, and she most certainly didn’t want them to worry. However, they were out working and the silence in the empty house was deafening. She had tried watching TV, but the shows were either too old-school or too childish for her liking. She considered herself mature after all, though she was only seven. She liked playing with toys just like other kids her age, but she always wished that she could grow up faster, so that she could take care of her parents instead. She hated making them worry or sad.She badly wanted to be a good girl, but the stuffiness was really getting to her, so Suzy stood up and walked to the door, deciding to be disobedient for once. Suzy walked along the concrete pavements by the line of houses, taking in the fresh air with deep breaths. She wouldn’t wander too far, she thought; she just needed to get in touch with nature for a while. Yet, without realising, she already walked 15 minutes away from her house.A pigeon flew down and walked awkwardly by her side. Like the kid she was, she chased after the pigeon, making it fly, and when it flew back down, she chased it even further. She was so engrossed in having fun that she didn’t notice the kerb by the pathway. In a split second, she saw herself approaching the grass lawn rapidly and reached her hands out to soften the fall. She grimaced at her own clumsiness and got up to brush the dust off herself, only to realise that both her knees were badly scraped. Fresh blood was oozing out from both wounds. She probably looked silly with two round patches of red on her knees and it hurt a little, but Suzy felt more dismayed that she had to return home when she had been out for less than 30 minutes.She slowly limped her way back, failing to notice the trail of blood down both her legs. The pain from the wounds began to get more intense, but Suzy reckoned that’s probably not why she was feeling giddy.“Or is it the sun?” she thought, but then realised that no, that’s not it, because it was cloudy and she could hardly feel any heat on her skin since summer was ending.The giddiness didn’t stop; in fact, it worsened as she took the next few steps, so she sat herself down on the ground. She finally noticed the trail of blood then, and wiped it off clumsily with her shirt. The bleeding from her wound still hadn’t stopped though. The beautiful row of green trees in front of her became blurred and the chirping of the birds faded into the background. She blinked her eyes a few times in an effort to restore her normal condition but in futile, she felt her body weaken and lean back towards the ground. She thought she saw a boy on a black bicycle pull up beside her just before she lost consciousness. When Myungsoo first saw Suzy, she was in a mess. Her shoulder-length hair was slightly wet with perspiration, causing them to stick on her cheeks in messy curls. Her face was deathly pale and her lips drained of colour. Her blouse was stained crimson red and blood still didn’t stop oozing from her wound, creating yet another trail of blood down her legs.She looked so weak and fragile that for the first time, Myungsoo was afraid for someone else’s life other than his. Myungsoo tore a small piece of garment from the bottom of his shirt and bandaged both wounds loosely. Then, he carried her on his back to the nearest hospital, which wasn’t very far off. When Myungsoo could finally see the hospital in front of him, he was already gasping for breath and wheezing heavily. He was struck once again with the awful feeling of his chest tightening and the fear that he might collapse once and for all. Nevertheless, he bit his lip and staggered towards the hospital.“I should learn to get used to this.” He thought, “Not like it’s rare, anyway. And I never died after all.”While placing Suzy down on the ground, Myungsoo could hear the loud noise of his own wheezing slowly fade away but his chest still felt so tight that he clutched it with both hands. His surroundings were beginning to fade into the background in the midst of his struggle, but he heard a nurse asking frantically, “Are you okay?”He wanted to answer “Yes, I’m okay, please save the girl”, but before a word was spoken, he fell to the ground. Suzy blinked her eyes open to find herself on a stretcher at a corner of a room.“Oh you’re awake,” a nurse said amicably as she walked towards her, “Do you want anything? Something to eat or drink?”“No, it’s okay. Is this the hospital? How did I end up here?”“You were bleeding really badly, and a boy not much older than you carried you here.”“Oh, is that so?” The vague image she saw before she blacked out flashed across her mind again. Suzy threw the blankets aside, propped herself up and hung her legs over the edge of the bed.“Where is he now? I should thank him properly.” Suzy’s eyes brightened as she smiled, showing her pearly-white teeth.“Yes, of course, just wait a minute.”“Dr. Kim! Where is the boy who was admitted with her?”“He’s still under treatment!” Dr. Kim shouted in response while walking briskly to the lift.The nurse turned back to Suzy and said with a smile, “Let’s call your parents now alright?” “I’m okay. Let me go to school tomorrow.”“No. You’re not okay. The doctor said you could have died!”“But I didn’t!”“Stop being stubborn Myungsoo.”“I just want to live like a normal kid.” He whispered almost inaudibly.“Just stay home and get more rest. You’re still weak. We don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” His dad said a little more gently, before leaving the room.Once he heard the door shut, Myungsoo laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. A foolish grin appeared on his face as he thought of something.“At least I accomplished something today. I saved someone’s life.” That night, Suzy couldn’t fall asleep. Her mind was flooded with thoughts about why the boy had to be “under treatment” and if he was okay. Silently, she prayed for the kind stranger and an opportunity to show her gratitude or perhaps even return the favour. A few days later, Myungsoo was walking back home from school when he passed by a front yard excessively decorated with crimson roses. He was about to leave after taking a glance, but a soft voice called out, “Excuse me...”He turned around and was shocked to find himself face to face with the girl he had saved the other day, except that this time, her hair fell in beautiful waves by her cheeks which had a healthy shade of pink. Suzy mentally scolded herself for calling out to a random stranger simply because she was too bored. Whatever she was doing would probably end up as a failure anyway; she didn’t even know why she was doing it.“If you have time… do you want to play something together? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m ridiculously bored so…” Suzy slurred, her eyes looking at anywhere but Myungsoo. She turned away slightly and gave a small wave in anticipation of his response while saying, “It’s okay, I understand why you don’t want to-”“Okay, let’s play.”Suzy’s eyes widened and she stopped midway through her 180 degree turn. Suzy sat down on the lawn of her front yard, with Myungsoo sitting right across her.“So, what shall we do?” Myungsoo piped up.Suzy just stared blankly at him, wondering why anyone would submit to her absurd request.Myungsoo chuckled lightly, “Why’re you looking at me like that? You said you wanted to play something didn’t you?”“Ah, yes. Let’s, um, play some board games…” Suzy said and then clumsily carried out a stack of board games from her cupboard.As they played, Suzy spoke up, “You’re not even going to ask me why?”“Why what?”“Why we’re doing this.”“Why?”“I can’t play outdoors. My parents don’t allow me to, and I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s because I’m clumsy. I just had a bad fall the other day.”Myungsoo recalled the incident that day and he thought he had an idea why, but he didn’t say anything about it.“Well, I can’t either. I have severe asthma and if I so much as do any physical activity, it may trigger an asthma attack and we’d need to go to the hospital because the inhaler doesn’t even work most of the time.”Suzy pondered on this for a while, then said with a twinkle in her eyes, “Well, then it must be fate that we’ve found each other!”Myungsoo smiled, “You think so?”He was glad that Suzy didn’t make any sympathetic remarks like “I’m sorry to hear that”, because he absolutely hates it. It made him feel weak, and he detested that feeling.They made friendly chats while playing board games and it continued that way until Myungsoo had to leave for dinner in the evening. Not long after Myungsoo had left, Mrs Bae returned home with a big envelope in one hand. It was held so tightly that it was creased and the dark expression on Mrs Bae’s face told Suzy that something was wrong.When she stepped into the front yard, Mrs Bae’s eyes widened and she began to tear the roses off from the tables, the benches, the plants and pond bank. Tears streamed down her face as she did so, while Suzy tried to stop her by holding onto her wrists and asked, “Why, mum, why?”–you said you liked the crimson roses I folded you said they’re beautiful you said that if I make wishes upon these roses it will come true so what is happening now I don’t understand –A million thoughts ran through Suzy’s mind as she stood by the side helplessly. Suzy’s eyes became moist as she looked at her mum tear down the rose decorations she had worked on for a whole afternoon, and she could only wonder why her mum was acting that way. Soon after, Mr Bae arrived. He hugged Mrs Bae tightly and brought her to the room, leaving a bewildered Suzy with tear-filled eyes standing in the centre of the front yard with a pile of crimson roses at her feet.After the episode, Suzy asked them what happened, but they only answered with a feeble smile, “Nothing’s wrong, dear. Don’t worry about it.”Suzy knew something was definitely wrong. She could see it on her parents’ hurt expressions, but they wouldn’t tell her a thing. She wanted to ease their burden, and she detested the fact that she couldn’t do anything to help. The second time Myungsoo went to Suzy’s place, the elegant crimson roses scattered all over the front yard were nowhere to be found. Suzy was sitting on the swing, swaying herself back and forth with one leg. The scene was still and quiet, with only the rhythm of the creaking sound made by the worn-out swing breaking the silence every now and then. When she saw him, she got up and opened the gate immediately, like it was a natural thing to do. They only knew each other for barely a week and it was only their second meeting (as far as Suzy knew), but Suzy felt an unspoken connection towards the boy. Myungsoo took the seat beside Suzy on the swing without a word and they dwelled in the stillness of it all for a couple of minutes. “What are you thinking of?” Myungsoo asked.“Nothing.”“It’s written on your face. Just say it. I want to help, if I can.” Suzy bit her bottom lip and glanced at Myungsoo for a second before shifting her fleeting gaze to the ground. “My mum was crying really hard the other day, and I think it’s something to do with me, because they won’t tell me anything about it. I heard my dad sobbing last night too.”“Well, there must a good reason why they’re not telling you. Maybe they don’t want you to worry.” Myungsoo tried to comfort her. He thought he did a really bad job though (he blamed his lack of vocabulary) and wished he were a better speaker.“She took down all the crimson roses. I think she hates it now, so I threw them at the rubbish chute behind our house.”“You really liked those roses eh?”“Yes, they’re pretty. People make wishes on shooting stars, but those don’t come often. If we make wishes on crimson roses, then we can make them anytime we like. After all, shooting stars aren’t always so timely.”Myungsoo looked at Suzy, baffled by the maturity she showed that he didn’t realise he was staring. “Are you okay?” Suzy waved a hand in front of him as she stared back into his dark brown orbs, wondering what’s in them. (How can someone’s eyes look so deep?)Myungsoo came to his senses and looked away quickly.“Y-yeah, I’m alright.”Suzy smiled sweetly at him, her face shining with radiance and her eyes reduced to mere crescent slits. For a moment, Myungsoo felt like he was watching a music video still which captured the pure beauty of an angel descended onto earth. It may sound really cheesy, but Myungsoo couldn’t find a better way to describe it. Suzy was like an angel to him. A fallen angel, perhaps. (He also wondered how she could smile so brightly when her face was downcast just a few minutes ago.)“So, how do you fold these roses?” he asked abruptly.“You want to learn?” Suzy said, her eyes lighting up with a sort of blaze. And so started their tradition of meeting up, confiding in each other, folding crimson roses and wishing upon them every now and then when tiny storms brew in their lives. One sunny afternoon, Myungsoo was teaching Suzy to fold paper cranes in the living room when he suddenly felt his chest tighten.Shucks. No. Not now.His mental orders had no effect on his physical condition though, and he soon found himself gasping for air. It was the first time he had an attack in front of her.“Are you okay?” Suzy asked, worry written all over her face.“O-okay…” Myungsoo croaked.“Tell me the truth!” Suzy screamed as she saw his face pale out.“C-call the am...bulance…”Suzy nodded frantically and made the call quickly. She then headed towards the front gate with hurried steps when Myungsoo staggered over and grabbed her wrist.“D-don’t go. Stay with me.”Suzy turned back immediately and forced out a smile, “Okay.”She made him lie down on the sofa while she sat beside him on the floor with crossed legs.“How are you feeling right now?”“So horrible I can die.”Suzy grimaced and Myungsoo chuckled lightly, which triggered a coughing fit.“Why? You wanted me to tell the truth.” Myungsoo said weakly after he stopped coughing.“Does this happen very often?” “Attacks come almost everyday, but –” Myungsoo paused and began wheezing loudly.Suzy scrambled to his bag and searched everywhere before finding the inhaler, which she passed to him. He took a few puffs but his condition still did not get any better.“Don’t talk anymore. Rest. Breathe. I think the ambulance should be arriving soon.”Being the rebellious kid he was, he still gave a feeble reply, “Thank you, for being here with me.”Suzy creased her eyebrows and put a finger on his lips to tell him to stop talking.“I’ll be with you till the end, I promise.” Suzy said. She then entwined her little fingers into Myungsoo’s own, and with a weak smile, he thought that it was the only time he’s happy for an attack. Suzy grew up to be a fine girl; she excelled in her studies, got along well with most people and had a close circle of friends who treasured her. However, there was something that really bothered her. She wasn’t sure if it was a figment of her imagination, because her parents were always smiling at her, but she thought she saw a flicker of sadness in their eyes whenever they were looking at her.At the age of ten, Suzy realised that she bled longer and more excessively than others. Her classmates did not have to miss a day of school after a normal fall, but she needed at least 3 days to recuperate. “Mum. There’s something wrong with me right? Why do I bleed so much when I fall?” She asked one day.“Just take care of yourself and you’ll be alright.”“But mum,” Suzy sat beside Mrs Bae and held her hands which were trembling slightly, “I can tell you’re not alright.”“What are you talking about Suzy? I’m absolutely fine.” She said with a little smile, but her quivering voice gave it away.“Just tell me, I don’t want you and dad to carry the burden by yourselves.” Suzy’s voice cracked as she looked sincerely at her mum who avoided her gaze.“It’s nothing major, dear. Stop thinking about it.” Mrs Bae said and stroked Suzy’s hair gently before getting up from her seat.Suzy wanted to believe in her mum’s words. She tried to, she tried really hard, but she couldn’t. Not when she heard her sobbing again at night, not when she realised how all the crimson items have gradually been wiped out from the house, not when she still saw the sad, sad look in her eyes. It was a grey Monday afternoon when Suzy called Myungsoo and asked to meet at the park. That caught Myungsoo by surprise, for they have never met outside of Suzy’s house before. He wondered what the purpose of the meeting was; he prepared lines to say when he met her (he wondered why he was acting like it’s the first time they’re meeting because it’s not) – heck, he even considered the possibility of it being a date and became all flustered over it.When he saw her, he was at a loss as to what to do, because it was nothing he had expected. She was crying. Myungsoo didn’t know what to do, because it was the first time he was seeing Suzy break down. He didn’t know what to do, so he just let her tears wet his shoulders as he patted her back lightly.Suzy had other good friends, but somehow at times like these, Myungsoo would be the only one who crosses her mind. He wasn’t a very good advisor, but he was a great listener and she always felt like he could empathise with what she was going through just by looking into those deep, dark brown orbs of his.After she calmed down, he released her shaking figure from his firm embrace. “Thank you.” She said softly, her voice a little hoarse.“Are you okay?” Myungsoo asked gently. He was curious about what had happened, but decided not to probe in case she’d rather not share.“Myungsoo, I-I think there really is something wrong with me…”“What are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong with you.”“No, there is, I know there is. I don’t know what it is, but I know it has got something do with blood and the colour crimson.”Myungsoo’s eyes widened slightly as he thought of their first meeting three years back, again. And again, he thought he kind of knew what it is, just kind of.“They’re still keeping something big from me, I can tell. I really don’t want to hate the colour crimson,” Suzy said and continued in almost a whisper, “I don’t want to give up hope.”Myungsoo felt his heart clench and his eyes getting wet. A sour sensation crept up his throat and triggered his tear glands, but he held back his tears, because he wanted to be strong for Suzy. Being able to be there for Suzy and to comfort her made him feel strong in the midst of his weakness and he was glad to be able to do something for someone else, someone who was precious to him. Myungsoo hated his condition because he could never do anything extreme. And he wasn’t even talking about sports.He couldn’t show too much of any emotion.If he laughed too wide, cried too hard or got too angry, he could trigger an asthma attack. Every single day, he wished he could take a knife and plunge it right through the heart of his illness so he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. However, he felt less of such desperation ever since he met Suzy. Spending time with her made him forget his pain; she was a blessing to him, even if it was only a temporary and short-lived bliss. Those storms in their lives have never been big tornados of any sort, not until Suzy turned eleven and decided to be rebellious for once. It was a breezy and cloudy Thursday afternoon when Myungsoo and Suzy were lying down side-by-side on the soft green lawn of Suzy’s front yard. “I think it would be nice to grow up together.” Suzy said all of a sudden.Myungsoo turned on his side to face her and Suzy did the same, giving him a little smile with a hidden something that he couldn’t really decipher.“What are you talking about again? I don’t know where you get all your strange ideas from. Of course we will grow up together. I mean, we are, and yes, it’s nice.”“I’m just saying,” Suzy returned to her original position of lying on her back and facing the baby blue sky with fluffy white clouds, “we never know what life will bring anyway.”“Suzy –”“Do you know something?” Myungsoo wanted to say that but stopped halfway because an undesirable sour sensation began overwhelming his heart. He wanted to know, but deep down, he was afraid that he might hear something he didn’t like.“– we’ll grow up together, whatever life brings.” It came suddenly, piling another shock upon the one she had received that night when she researched upon her symptoms. Perhaps it wasn’t as much of a shock as it was a disappointment. She had kind of expected it.“I’m quitting my job starting next Monday. I will stay home and look after you. I want you to stop seeing Myungsoo.” Her mum said firmly.“But why?”“Don’t ask why.” Because I don’t want to bring myself to say it.“If it is about my condition, I understand why you’re doing this. I already know all about it. But why should I stop seeing Myungsoo? That’s what I don’t understand.”“Just do as I say, okay?”“I won’t.” Suzy said decisively.And there it was again, the flicker of sadness in her Mum’s eyes, and it broke her heart. But she couldn’t. To ask her to stop seeing Myungsoo, she couldn’t. “Myungsoo, do you know how to cycle?”“Yes,” he smiled proudly, “it’s about the only thing I can do, because it doesn’t really make me breathless.”“Oh great!” Suzy clapped, “I’ve wanted to learn cycling since forever. You’ll teach me, won’t you?”“But of course! I’ll bring my bicycle over tomorrow!”“No, let’s just do it now, we can walk to your house together.” Suzy’s eyes widened in astonishment when she saw the bicycle. She could still remember the exact colour, size and design. She stared at Myungsoo unbelievingly.“You’re that boy.”“You’ve found out.” Myungsoo looked elsewhere and bit his lower lip.“Why didn’t you say anything?” Suzy asked as they headed towards the park with Myungsoo’s bicycle.“I didn’t want you to feel indebted towards me or anything. I just wanted to be friends with you with no conditions attached. So even now, I hope you won’t think of me that way.”Suzy had so many questions to ask that she didn’t know where to start. Before she had the chance to ask anything though, Myungsoo spoke up.“Well, we’re here at the park. It’s 4pm already so we’ve got to hurry up! Come on!” He smiled at her warmly like they didn’t just have that serious conversation.Suzy followed suit and decided to leave those questions till another time. He held onto the handles of the bicycle and guided her along as she tried to steer the bicycle and rocked it from side to side unintentionally.With her determination, however, she managed to pick the skill up pretty fast. By 5pm, she could ride it by herself, albeit a bit shakily.“Wow, you’re doing a great job! I think I’ll get you a bicycle for Christmas!”“Thanks.”“Do you want drinks?”“Green tea, thanks.” Suzy said and went back to concentrating on making her cycling more stable. Myungsoo smiled in admiration at her determination and then proceeded to buy the drinks from a nearby vending machine. When he got back, Suzy was nowhere to be seen. He told himself to calm down, that Suzy was probably just practising on her own somewhere in the park, but his heart pounded wildly in his chest.“Suzy! Suzy!” He screamed her name repeatedly as he ran along the tracks, trying to catch sight of her. Very soon, he felt himself getting breathless and slowed down. Just then, he saw a staggering figure pushing a bicycle in the distance.“Suzy!” He screamed again and ran towards her.When he saw the injuries on her elbows and knees, he regretted leaving her alone. “Oh my gosh,” he said breathlessly, “I’m…I’m sorry, Suzy.”“It’s not your fault…” She said, “And I’m okay…”But he saw the colour fading from her lips again, and he knew that she was not okay. He quickly dialled for the ambulance before her bleeding got out of control.A random thought came across his mind. Their lives always revolved around ambulances and hospitals. He scoffed at the thought. They were more alike than he thought. “Suzy! My dear!” Her mother ran towards her at the hospital. “Are you alright?”“I’m fine, mum.”“Didn’t I say never to touch bicycles?”“I’m sorry... But it was really fun…”Her mother left something unsaid until they reached home.“Look what happened to you. Promise me not to hang out with Myungsoo again, okay?”Suzy frowned and looked at the ground without saying a word.“Suzy?”“Whatever you say.” She muttered, then ran up to her room and slammed the door.  It was something she had never done before, and never thought she would ever do, but at that moment, she really felt like doing so.Tears streamed down Mrs Bae’s cheeks freely.“I’m sorry that you have to go through all this, Suzy… I’m sorry… I’m sorry for being a selfish mother…” Her voice faded off into soft sobs. Myungsoo was folding a crimson rose that night when he got a call from Suzy.“Hey, Suzy. Are you alright now?”“I’m fine… But… Myungsoo ah…”“Why?” Myungsoo said gently. He stopped folding the rose and sat up straight on his bed.“I won’t be able to see you any longer.”“What are you saying? W-why?”“My mum forbids me from seeing you. I don’t understand why. You’re a nice person.”“Thank you. Well, but if that’s what your mum says, I guess we have no choice. Let’s keep in contact through phone okay?”“Sure.”“…”“Myungsoo?”“Yes?”“Why did you carry me all the way to the hospital that day when it’s so risky for you? We didn’t even know each other then.”Silence lingered for a while before he answered.“To be honest, I never really liked my life. It wasn’t interesting or meaningful. That day, I thought my life would at least have some worth if I saved your life. It didn’t matter to me if I died, at least my life would have been worthy.”“Myungsoo… promise me you’ll never think that way again?”“What way?”“That you’re not worthy. You’re a really precious friend to me, even before I knew that you saved my life, so don’t ever think that you’re not worthy.”“Thank you. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”“I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”“It’s getting late. We should go to sleep.”“Goodnight.”“Nights.” As soon as they hung up, both Myungsoo and Suzy grabbed a crimson rose and made a wish. “I wish that Myungsoo would live on happily.” “I wish that Suzy will stay by my side.” Suzy turned twelve the coming spring, and she realised that she may not have much time left. As much as she tried to think positively, she knew how slim her chances of surviving were, and she’d rather make the most of what she has. “Suzy… You already know of your bleeding disorder right?”“I knew it the day I told you it would be nice to grow up together, and I meant it.”“Suzy…” Myungsoo didn’t know what to say; he didn’t want to give empty words of sympathy, for he knows how he hates it, and how she probably would too.“If I can be that one in a million to get the disorder, I can also be that one in a million to live with it.”Suzy smiled bitterly. Even she questioned her own attempt of trying to comfort herself. Maybe she was trying to comfort him instead.“Yes, of course. You’ll live, Suzy, you will.”“Thanks. Goodnight.”“Nights.” “Myungsoo ah…” Suzy’s voice trembled over the phone and Myungsoo felt the air around him thinning.“What’s wrong, Suzy?”“T-there’s so much blood… I’m scared… I know I shouldn’t be calling you, I should call my mum instead, but… but I wanted to hear your voice…”“It’ll be alright, Suzy, you’ll be fine…” Myungsoo tried his best to sound strong, but his voice still quivered as tears rolled down his cheeks.“I-I hope so… B-bye, I’ll go and call my mum now…”“Suzy!”“Y-yes?”“Erm… I… I love you.”“Thanks. Bye, I’ve got to go.”“Bye…” Myungsoo put down the phone and began praying like never before. That Suzy would be alright, that she would live, that he would see her bright smile again. He folded mountains of crimson roses. He would do anything if only she would survive. “Hey.”Myungsoo didn’t know what was happening to him. He was crying a lot that day. When he heard her voice again that night, he felt like crying again.“Hey, Suzy. How are you feeling now?”“I’m in the hospital now, but I’m feeling much better. There’s this drip on me, and they’re giving me blood transfusion.”“Can I go and see you?”“I don’t know, my mum…”“Well, it’s okay then. Have a good rest.”“Goodnight.”“Nights.” “Suzy dear? Was that Myungsoo?”“Yes, mum…”“You know what, dear? I’ll let you see him again. I’m really sorry for forbidding you two from meeting… I just wanted to have your attention, before… I mean –”“I get what you mean, mum.”“I’m sorry, Suzy.”“Mum?”“Hmm?”“I love you.”  Suzy gave Mrs Bae a peck on the forehead. Mrs Bae smiled really warmly, and Suzy was glad she could make her mum happy, before… It was 3am in the morning when Suzy jerked awake. They stopped giving her blood transfusion because it wasn't a long-term solution, and the hospital needed blood for other cases. She could feel life draining away from her, so she turned on the little night lamp by her bed and began writing letters. Yes, farewell letters. Just in case. Myungsoo couldn’t stand it anymore. He didn’t care anymore whether Suzy’s mum allowed them to meet or not. He needed to see Suzy, right there and right then.Seven rings and still no one picked up. Suzy usually picked up by the fifth ring. Myungsoo bit his lip in frustration and grabbed his backpack, before running to a taxi stand near his house. He ignored his parents shouting after him. Nothing else was more important to him then. He needed to see Suzy, he needed to know that she was alive and well (or not).There was only one hospital in town, so he couldn’t be wrong. “May I know which ward Bae Suzy is in?” He cried, heaving and puffing.A doctor noticed the abnormality of Myungsoo’s breathing and came around.“Young man, I think you need to get treatment…”“I don’t!  I need to see Bae Suzy right now!”“Bae Suzy? You mean the girl with haemophilia who was admitted last afternoon?”Myungsoo narrowed his eyes. “What? Yeah, I guess so. Where is she?”“Calm down, okay?” The doctor held Myungsoo by his shoulders.Myungsoo calmed down and took a few deep breaths.“Okay, but where is she?”“Promise me you’ll take this well.”“What?” Myungsoo’s dark eyes sparkled with tears and fear.“She passed away just half an hour ago.”“Th-that… that can’t be possible…” Myungsoo’s voice was as light as a whisper and the rhythm of his breathing became messed up again.“You need to go for treatment.”“No, not before I see her one last time.” Myungsoo said firmly. The doctor gave in and brought Myungsoo to Suzy’s ward. She was there, lying still and lifeless on the bed, but yet a smile still lingered on her lips.Her parents were still trying to come to terms by the side of the bed, and Mr Bae was cuddling Mrs Bae tightly.Myungsoo gazed at Suzy for a long time, taking in all her features and her beautiful smile until it was embedded in his mind. He didn’t want to ever forget her. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t, but he just wanted to make sure. Glancing at Suzy’s parents and making sure that they weren’t looking, he bent forward and planted a kiss on her cheek as a teardrop rolled down his own and fell onto the place he’d just kissed.As he stood by her bedside, Myungsoo realised that Suzy had been folding crimson roses. Five crimson roses were scattered on a paper filled with written words. Curious, he took the piece of paper up for a look.He was shocked to find his name written at the top in her handwriting. Hey, Myungsoo,If you end up reading this, then I probably won’t be able to respond to you anymore. But I still want you to know how important you are to me, that’s why I’m writing this letter. I’m sorry that we couldn’t grow up together, and sorry that I can’t be with you till the end like I promised to. Thank you for always being there for me, and putting a smile on my face. I guess I didn’t show before how much I appreciated it. Just being with you feels really comfortable and I would like to do so for a long long time, so it’s sad that I can’t. I hope, though, that others can experience this warmth of yours too. I noticed that you don’t smile a lot to others, but when you do, it feels like the bright sun lighting up a dark room, no kidding. Lastly, live well and love much!Take care, SuzyP.S. You look ugly when you cry, so don’t cry. Haha.P.P.S. I love you too. After reading the letter, Myungsoo cried so hard that he thought he would die. He gasped and struggled for air as the doctor carried him to a nearby room for treatment. He almost gave up, but then he remembered Suzy’s words. I hope that others can experience this warmth of yours too. Live well and love much. I love you too. So he tried. He tried to live.  –       Years later –A little girl was running after her kite which was flying away. She jumped and tried to grab the string, but failed to and instead, fell on the rough stony pathway.Myungsoo screeched to a halt on his black bicycle upon hearing the scream from behind. He got down and ran towards the little girl.“Suyeon! Are you hurt?” He said as he helped her up.Suyeon looked down at both her knees which were scraped and pouted at Myungsoo.Myungsoo just smiled at her and said, “Don’t worry, oppa will bandage it for you.”“I can’t play anymore…” Suyeon said, and continued pouting.Myungsoo placed a finger at each side of Suyeon’s down curved lips and made them curve upwards.“Stop pouting like that. You’ll be able to play soon enough.”He held his little cousin’s small hands and brought her back to their house not far away. As he nursed her wounds, he told her, “You’re actually very blessed, you know, Suyeon? Oppa had a friend who couldn’t play outdoors very much because her life would be in danger whenever she fell.”Suyeon gasped and said, “Ah, what a pity. She must be very sad about it then.”“Well, she was, but she was a very strong girl.”After Myungsoo finished bandaging Suyeon’s wounds, he grabbed a piece of crimson-coloured paper and began folding a rose which he gave to Suyeon.“Thanks, it’s pretty!”“Do you want to learn how to fold it?”Suyeon nodded her head in excitement.“It was taught to oppa by that friend I just told you about. She taught me many other things too. A really precious friend.”“She sounds like a nice person. I would like to meet her.”“You can’t. She’s in a place far far away where we can’t go to just yet.”“Oh…” “Oppa?”“Hmm?”“I don’t want you to go to that place before me.”Myungsoo chuckled. “Don’t worry, Suyeon, when I do, you’ll be old enough to take care of yourself.”“But I like staying with oppa.”“Thank you, Suyeon. I’m glad you do. But you’ll find someone else in the future. Someone your age.” Myungsoo laughed and ruffled her hair while he gazed into the horizon.Suzy, you’d be proud of me, wouldn’t you? I hope you’re doing well. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." - Psalms 23:4  A/N: I'm so sorry, I really meant to update just a few days after I posted the foreword but I got busy and the story took longer to write than I thought it would... Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed! :)Note that the setting of the story is during a time when there was no treatment for haemophilia by injecting the clotting factor (just in case you were confused). But yeah, haemophilia isn't that deadly now.I'm also sorry that there isn't much of romance here :/ heh.Please do give me your valuable comments! ^^