Final (1/1)

I remembered the time when I first saw her. She was amongst the crowd and I was on the stage performing. She caught my eye because she wasn’t anything like the others. Normally, fans cheer, scream, and jump while their idols are performing but this girl, it was different. She was just there, standing with her hands clasped in front of her chest. It’s because of that why I noticed her so easily.                At first, I thought she didn’t like us because she didn’t cheer or anything. She was just staring at us, standing still with a blank face while her friend beside her cheered. Her friend would sometimes turn to her, telling or asking her something and with a nod, come back to cheering with the others. We were performing “Beautiful” that time. It should have been a happy song with all the beat and stuff but my eyes were just focused on her, wondering why she’s not reacting or anything.                Or maybe she’s just the calm kind of fan.                After performing “Beautiful,” we said our thanks to the fans for supporting us and ended it with the last song, “Sleepless Night.” When I started singing, I saw the girl close her eyes and as the song progresses, I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. I stared at her while the other members sang their part. Can she feel it? I thought, finally realizing that she’s really listening to the song intently. I always see comments from fans on the internet that the ballads we sing always bring tears to their eyes. Remembering that and seeing the girl like this made me happy; glad that we have that kind of effect on her.                I noticed her friend looking at me and whispering something to the girl. The girl opened her eyes and turned her head a bit towards the friend then they talked. I saw the girl cry more—her hands flying on her face to cover it—but I was able to catch that she was smiling.                When we finished the song, we bowed and all went to the backstage but before I followed my members, I asked the bouncer to escort the two girls to the back as well—specifically pointing which girls I was talking about. The bouncer did give me a confused look but obliged nonetheless, not bothering to ask questions.                I just wanted to meet her badly.                A few minutes later, I saw the two girls walking at the backstage with a backstage pass hanging on their necks. The girl’s friend was holding her hand and she was just following, her face back to being blank.                “Annyeonghasaeyo,” I greeted, bowing.                The friend bowed back but the girl I had my eyes on was just there but her mouth was gaped open.                “Annyeong, Onew-ssi,” The friend greeted as well. She tugged the girl’s hand and she stuttered her greeting.                “A-Annyeong,”                I stared at the girl while I spoke, “I want to personally thank the both of you for coming to our concert. What are your names?”                “I’m Shin Eunae,” The friend introduced. “And this is Han Mikyong. It’s our pleasure, Onew-ssi. And it’s also a great pleasure to meet you too.”                “Likewise,” I smiled, my eyes smiling as well. I stuck out a hand for them to shake. Eunae shook it first but when I directed my hand towards Mikyong, she didn’t budge.                “Um,” Eunae gently pulled Mikyong in front of her and guided her hand to mine. “Onew-ssi, Mikyong-ah is.. She can’t see.” She said in a whisper. “She’s been blind since birth.”                My heart ached at the revelation. I looked at the girl in front of me wide-eyed as I felt myself paled.                “Is this.. really Onew-ssi?” Mikyong asked.                Eunae nodded, smiling. “Deh.”                Mikyong blinked rapidly but I didn’t fail to see the tears forming in her eyes. She slowly raised her hands and knowing what she wanted to do, I guided them on my face. The tears threatening to fall from her eyes made their way down her cheeks like waterfalls.                “Onew-ssi..” Mikyong whispered.                “Deh, it’s me..” I answered. It pained me to know that she can’t see me at all and I wondered what it was like to live in her world.                Mikyong traced her fingertips on my face as if trying to picture how I look like in her mind. She traced my nose, touched my lips with her thumb, and cupped my cheeks. “Onew-ssi..” She said. “I’m so happy to meet you.”                It didn’t stop there. Actually, that was just the beginning. Every week, I visit her and take her out on a date sometimes but I had to wear disguises to avoid being mobbed. We got together but sadly, it didn’t last long. In a relationship between an idol and an ordinary person, your worst enemies are the paparazzi and the sasaeng fans. Mikyong was exposed and I got in trouble. I wanted to run away with her; I wanted to stop everything and just be free from all these. I wanted to quit and just live a normal life with the one I love. I thought she wanted it as well but I was wrong.                One time while all of this was happening, I told her that we should go see an ophthalmologist. She was so badmouthed by everyone about her being blind and I thought that the least thing I can do is to get her eye sight back. Maybe if she can see and if she’ll be able to make the world see how great a person she is then.. maybe everything will subside; everything will stop and everything will go back to normal.                Mikyong didn’t agree. She said, “I’d rather be blind for the rest of my life than be able to see the kind of world you’re living in.”               She thought the world I’m living in was full of happiness; it’s what she’s always believed in. But after being exposed, she said she realized that it’s complicated especially for a girl like her.. for a girl who couldn’t see. She never knew that simply just by being an idol’s girlfriend would destroy her reputation, her whole being. She never knew that she will be hated just by seeing someone who “everybody” owns. In her own entire life, she never looked at the world as something very cruel. In her eyes, the world is worth living and that there is something great somewhere waiting for her. Those thoughts alone made her want to see the world; to see its beauty but because of me, her innocence and her beliefs about everything were tainted.                Before we broke up, I brought her to a music room and I sang my last song for her while I played the piano.                We both cried after that. Soon enough, the issue was immediately buried and forgotten. Everything went back to normal and I never saw her again.