Chapter 3 (1/1)

"I love you too." Jimin's reply comes almost instantly. The words make me cringe. He can’t possibly understand. Or, at least I hope he doesn’t, because if he does, he’s purposely torturing me.The fact that I had that thought makes me sad. Why would my best friend lie to me?  Especially when the evidence was splayed all around the room, in giant heaps of light pink. "No. You don't.""Tae, how could I not love you, you're my best friend." Jimin's earnest reply makes me tear up. I start to wonder why I fell in love with this airhead. “Jimin, that’s the problem. I don’t love you like a friend. I want to spend every second of the day staring at you, laughing with you. I want you to walk me home from school, or anywhere, with you holding my hand. And I want you kiss me senseless before we go inside, because you don't want my parents to think you have ill intentions. And I want-” I’m sobbing now. This is more than I wanted to say, and it didn’t even make sense. I wish my best friend wasn’t so clueless, so that I wouldn’t have to spell it out for him. I wan’t Jimin to comfort me, but when I glance up at his face, all I can see is inner conflict. This is why I didn’t want to reveal my feelings. Jimin probably feels disgusted now- or worse, he doesn’t. Maybe he feels guilty. Guilty that he doesn’t love me back, and that he’s the one causing all of my pain. I start to cough again, and Jimin’s arms wrap around me. I don't push him away, even though I know this is just another act of friendship. Instead, I bury my head into my best friends neck, and slowly slip into a memory filled slumber.  *** They met when they were eight, and Taehyung hated Jimin.  He always followed Taehyung around, trying to play with the him, but Taehyung wanted to be left alone. At that age, Taehyung was considered weird because he liked to read, and he would try to find a secluded spot at recess to do so.  One day, another student decided that Taehyung should not be able to enjoy reading, and then tore Taehyung’s book to pieces. Taehyung cried silently, watching the laughing boy as he ripped out single pages and yelled brutal words.  Seemingly out of no where, Jimin came and pushed the mean boy to the ground. He grabbed the torn up book, and Taehyung’s hand, and took him to his favorite hiding spot- the classroom. He laid Taehyung down and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. When Taehyung woke up, Jimin was no longer next to him, but sleeping in a chair facing away from him. He silently got up, peeked over Jimin’s shoulder, and almost started to cry again- this time tears of joy. Jimin had (sloppily) patched up his book with pieces of tape. Taehyung hugged Jimin, who immediately woke up and stared at the taller boy. Not wanting to miss his chance at befriending the boy who had ignored him for so long, he hugged back. Taehyung didn’t ignore Jimin ever again. *** This time they were thirteen, and Taehyung was an alien.  One day, he was a happy boy who caused other students much joy and laughter. The next, he was a total outcast. For some reason, he became an older boy’s new target. Minwoo teased him maliciously, and other students soon followed suit. Some students even went far enough to trip him in the hallway, or throw things at him in the classroom while the teacher wasn’t looking. Jimin was in a different class, so he never saw anything happen.  Taehyung kept quite. That is, until Jimin saw Taehyung’s bruises, and slowly drew an explanation out of him. That was the last time Taehyung was picked on, because Jimin took care of it. Later, he explained to Taehyung that Minwoo just had a crush on him, and was mad because Taehyung was so oblivious. This left Taehyung blushing at his feet, for he already had developing feelings for his savior.   *** They were fifteen when Taehyung finally got hit with his first set of “urges”.  He was a late bloomer. During the summer, the two friends often had picnics, and this one happened to be on the messier side. Taehyung was going to let Jimin shower first, but the still “slightly” shorter boy decided that they could shower together, because “were both boys” and “it’s not like we haven’t seen that stuff before.” After quite a bit of pestering, Taehyung finally agreed, and inevitably, regretted it. After he had undressed, Taehyung pushed back the curtain, and was immediately met with a naked Jimin. His eyes grew wide, when his gaze accidentally went to low. He immediately started to blush, and ran out of the bathroom. When Jimin yelled through the closed door “Tae, what are you doing?” Taehyung responded with a slightly stuttered “Um, I forgot to do something, I’ll shower after you!” Obviously, the late bloomer had no idea what he was happening or what he was going to do when his lower regions suddenly became uncomfortable, so he went outside and jumped in his tiny backyard pool. Eventually, he calmed down and put on dry clothes.  When Jimin came out of the shower, he only gave Taehyung a skeptical look and a “If you really didn’t wanna shower with me that badly, you should have just said so…” Taehyung’s cheeks were hot, so he just nodded and buried his face in his pillow. *T* I wake up with swollen eyes, and I’m not in the practice room- I’m in Jimin’s. When I start to sit up, panicking, I realize I’m trapped in said best friend’s  strong arms. Damn Jimin, and his daily visits to the gym. I start to shift, trying to escape, when I realize that my last dream has awoken a small (but not small) part of me. I blush, and try harder to push the arms away, but after four attempts I start to whine. Jimin really needs to stop working out so much.  My next attempt draws a tired moaning sound out of  him, and I want to hit him. That sound did not help my problem. When Jimin emits another of his sleeping sounds, I decide to push harder. This time I succeed, but fall of the bed with a startled cry. For some reason, that wakes Jimin up. “Tae! Are you alrig-” I don’t even hear the rest of the question, because I am already slamming the bathroom door close and jumping into a freezing shower.  When I come back out, I ignore Jimin’s worried gaze and walk to the closet, where I have my own section of clothes that belong only to me. I also ignore the twinge in my chest as I empty out a bag (also mine) and dump all of my clothes into it. I walk out of the closet with the intention of leaving, not wanting to face him, again after my embarrassing confession- and my even more embarrassing awakening, but I’m grabbed by the wrist and guided to sit on the bed instead. Jimin chooses to stand, and stares at me, while I decide to stare at my bag, now on the floor. “Tae, I’m sorr-” “Don’t be, it’s my faul-.” “No it’s not, it’s just I’ve never thought of you like that, an-” “Yeah, I know, you’re disgusted I understand, don’t worry I’ll ge-” “Don’t say you’ll get over it.” Jimin says in a hard tone. He grabs my chin, and makes me meet his gaze. “I have never thought of you like that- I’ve never even thought about it! So will you please give me some time to put myself together, and see if I could?” Jimin’s voice is shaken, and all I can feel is anger. I push Jimin’s hand away and give him a hard look.“Don’t force yourself. If were going to love me like that- even like me like that, you would by now. I don’t need you to start “trying” now just because of some silly disease. I’ll be fine.”  Jimin opens his mouth to respond, but I’m already shoving my way by, bag in hang, hurrying out of the house.  *T*When I get home, I chuck the bag at the corner of my room, and cry. I start to couch, and soon I’m falling asleep the same way I did last time- curled up in a ball, head hanging off of the bed over a pile of light pink Phlox, still crying. My last thought, is that I hope to not dream ever again.     A/NHello Again!Thankyou for reading, subscribing, commenting, and upvoting! I really appreciate any and all feedback, so please continue! :)사라해요 <3