[M] Part 8 (1/2)

Jessica was packing her bags. The doctor explained to Yuri about her condition. It was a possible fact that Jessica might be suffering from selective amnesia. It might have been difficult for Jessica and she chose to throw away those painful memories she had before.Yuri was just watching as Jessica packed her stuff. Yoona couldn’t come so Yuri offered to do so. Jessica was getting used to her presence when Yoona told her that Yuri’s her best friend. They didn’t want to complicate matters so Yuri was introduced as Yoona’s best friend for now.“Are you ready?”Jessica nodded. Yuri then proceeded to take her bag and Jessica was looking towards the door.“Yoona couldn’t come. I’m sending you home.”“You know where I live?”Yuri bit her lower lip. Jessica was living with her before the accident happened. So she had to lie.“You’re staying with Yoona.”“Oh? Really?”“Yeah, I’ll send you to Yoona’s place.”Jessica followed Yuri from behind. She had already helped with the paperwork earlier on so Jessica said her goodbyes to the doctors and nurses instead.  Yuri took Jessica to her car and settled her in properly before dumping her bag into the back seat. She turned on the engine and turned to face Jessica.“Are you ready?”“Yeah, sure.”Yuri nodded and drove off. The ride in the car was silence and Jessica was staring out of the window most of the time. Yuri kept biting her lip; wondering whether she should start a conversation with Yuri. But Jessica beat her to it.“You’re Yoona’s best friend?”“Yes.”“Then why couldn’t I remember you?”“I’m not sure. Maybe I annoyed you so much.”“Did you?”Yuri shrugged her shoulders.“Tiffany left for LA and returned only recently. Is she still married?”“She’s divorced.”“Oh. That’s a bummer.”“Yeah, I supposed so.”“Okay.”Jessica then looked out again. Yuri was feeling weird inside. How much longer could she bear with this truth that Jessica might not remember her anymore? She must have caused so much pain that Jessica chose to forget her totally.Thankfully, the ride to Yoona’s house wasn’t that far. They reached in half an hour. Jessica got out from the car and stood outside the door. Yuri was picking up her bag and came up to the front as well.“Is this where she lives?”“Yes.”“Okay then.”Yuri turned to look at Jessica. She somehow regretted the way she treated Jessica in the past. But seeing a happy and smiling Jessica was like a relief for Yuri. At least she didn’t have to remember what Yuri did to her.Jessica, I just hope you will remain happy like this.Yuri wished sincerely.*Yoona’s parents and Tiffany welcomed Jessica into their house. Yoona has already explained the situation to her parents and they agreed to let Jessica lives with them. Jessica went up to Yoona’s room and put her bag on the floor. She sat on Yoona’s bed. Yuri and Tiffany came after that.Jessica was watching them. Yuri often looked despondent and Tiffany would try to cheer her up. They behaved quite intimately which pained Jessica deep inside. The truth was, Jessica was feigning her amnesia. She knew she was making use of Yoona but she didn’t want to go through the same pain as before.Jessica knew it was Yoona who had been staying vigil by her side when she was in coma. Yuri was never around and even if she was, she was often drunk. Jessica knew even though she couldn’t respond. She could still hear and feel their presence in her room.“Jessica, are you hungry?”Tiffany was asking.“No, I’m waiting for Yoona.”“Oh, she’ll be home soon.”“Okay, I’ll wait for her.”Jessica looked away when she noticed Yuri was staring at her. She purposely grabbed a magazine near to Yoona’s bed and turned the pages.  She pretended to be reading but her eyes would slyly glance towards Yuri when she wasn’t looking. Yuri was paying attention to Tiffany as she carried Lincoln in her arms. She was playing with Lincoln that fuelled Jessica’s jealousy further. It was like as though Little Lincoln was her son too.“Jessica?”Yoona was running into her room and went straight for her. She quickly wrapped her arms around Jessica and the older girl was obliged to return the hug warmly. Yuri was watching them.“Yoona! You’re home! I was getting bored.”“I’m sorry! I couldn’t get out from work. How are you feeling now?”“I’m okay now.”“Okay.”Yoona turned and Tiffany was calling out to her. They were discussing what they should cook and the two sisters excused themselves; leaving Yuri and Jessica in the room.It was already awkward and the silence was making it worse. And Jessica decided to turn on some music much to Yuri’s relief. But the radio wasn’t helping either.  It was playing Mistake – SNSD and Yuri felt like someone just stabbed her in the heart. 난 아직 제자리죠 여전히 그대 곁에서 헤매이다 지쳐서

오늘도 그댈 맴돌다 하루 또 하루 흘러 흘러서 여기까지 온거죠

알면서 아픈 내 맘 알면서도

웃는 그대가 날 더 아프게 하죠

*나를 더 사랑하게 만들지 못한 내 잘못이죠

내가 더 사랑해서 만들어버린 내 잘못이죠

내 마음만큼 나를 더 사랑하게 하지 못했었던거였죠 내 잘못이죠

얼마나 더 많은 시간을 눈물을 흘려야하나요 그 약속만을 믿으며

기다려달라던 거짓말 이제 속았던 내 욕심도 지쳐 버리고 만거죠

알면서 아픈 내 맘 다 알면서

그렇게 모른 척 웃을 순 없잖아요

*나를 더 사랑하게 만들지 못한 내 잘못이죠

내가 더 사랑해서 만들어버린 내 잘못이죠

내 마음만큼 나를 더 사랑하게 하지 못했었던거였죠 내 잘못이죠

가질 수 없는걸 알면서 멋대로 커진 내 마음이

혼자서 기다리다가 혼자서 후회하다가 사랑한 것도 잘못이네요

아픈 줄 알면서도 잊지를 못한 내 잘못이죠 (내가 참 바보 같죠)

다칠 껄 알면서도 비우지 못한 내 잘못이죠 (내 잘못이죠)

모든 게 내 탓이래도 (모든 게 내 탓이래도) 그래도 괜찮아요 그대만 있다면 언제까지나

이런 날 용서해줘요 그댈 사랑한 날 I’m still at the same place, weary from wandering by your side

As I wander in circles, days have passed and I find myself at this place