Part 2 (1/2)
Changmin agrees to be her pseudo-boyfriend, as long as she promises not to meet with her previous boyfriend again. Victoria understands why he’s doing this—he’s best friends with her brother and he’s pressured by their overprotective and controlling mothers.
A small part of her wants to say that maybe he cares about her, but the thought is quickly scrapped away.
“You followed me that day, didn’t you?” She agonizes him.
He sits on a rocking chair near her bed; one leg perched over the other as he flips through her all time favorite book. “I was in the area.”
“Right.” Victoria drawled. “It was Kyuhyun, wasn’t it?”
“He was worried.” Changmin shrugs, and then reiterates. “And I was in the area.”
Victoria bobs her head from side to side, playing with one of her headphones as the other rests comfortably in her ear. The bed is soft and different from what she’s been used to the past few years. “You and Kyuhyun are close.”
“We are.” Changmin affirms.
The girl smirks. “How long?”
“How long what?” Changmin asks.
She just shakes her head and laughs, returning to playing with the iPod in her hands. “Did you know that I ended up going home with a stranger that night?”
Changmin sits upright in his seat. “What? But I—“
“Don’t worry. Nothing happened. He was a nice guy.” Victoria tells him. Changmin looks at her suspiciously. “What?” She frowns at him. “It’s true.”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees, eyes laid upon her intently.
She feels a shiver roll down her spine. “What?”
“You’ve been secretly meeting with your ex. Your mom has men following you, did you know that? I didn’t know whether or not I should tell you, but I think you should know. If you continue seeing him, he’ll only keep hurting you, Victoria.”
Victoria looks away. Subconsciously, her eyes wander down to her covered arms, hidden under a thick layer of clothing. She can see the pattern of a mark there through the cloth with her mind’s eye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re stupid.” Changmin says. “There’s so much better out there, but no, you have to be stupid.”
She looks at him, stubbornly stern. “You don’t know what it’s like to be afraid of letting go of the only thing keeping you from hitting the ground and disappearing beneath the rock and dirt.”
“Don’t I?” He asks.
“You don’t.” She says, but her eyes flutter to the window, remembering the warm sunlight that once warmed her skin in a room she did not recognize; the voice that comforted and took care of her; the man that she did not know. “You don’t. Not like I do.”
Changmin remains silent.
“Let me tell you a secret, Changmin.” Victoria lulls, gripping the earpiece in her palm. Slowly, he sees her lift a hand to her abdomen, sitting it just over her stomach. “You can keep secrets, right?”
“Song Qian.” He reprimands, eyes firm. “It’s not what I think it is, is it?”
Victoria smiles and her eyes are bright. “If you promise to keep my secret, I’ll keep yours.”
“I don’t—“
“Kyuhyun is a good kid,” Victoria slants her head to one side. “He’ll be happy with you, as long as my mother never discovers the truth.”
He narrows his eyes but he finds that he can’t be truly angry at her. “You’re threatening me?”
“I’m asking you.” She corrects him.
Changmin bites on the inside of his cheek, scowling. He sets his book down on the corner of her bed. “How far along are you? Does he know?”
“He doesn’t, and I don’t think I want him to know.”
Seeing the expression on her face, Changmin decides not to question her any further. Instead, he walks over and sits down beside her on the bed, pulling her into his arms. “It must be hard on you,” he whispers against her hair. “It’s alright, you don’t have to do this alone.”
And, for whatever reason, Victoria feels secure in his arms. She buries her face in his chest and, for once, allows her tears to spill from her eyes freely. Her fingers clutch the collar of his shirt, biting down hard on her lips.
She’s always wanted someone to tell her that everything would be alright, that it’s okay to be weak and fragile, but instead everyone reprimands her for her decisions.
Changmin seemed to understand.
“What do I do, Changmin?” She asks in a hushed voice. “I’m too young and stupid to be a mother.”
He takes a deep breath, arms stretching around her shoulders. The seconds stretch like hours, silence uncomforting to the both of them. “We’ll pull through this together,” he eventually tells her, and his voice is so gentle it almost melts against her skin. “You aren’t alone.”
Victoria nods. That’s all she can do now; listen to his words and believe in them.
-
“Your sister thinks we’re gay.” Changmin tells Kyuhyun the next time they meet.
Kyuhyun slants his friend a look and scrunches up his nose in disgust. “What? Why—no, ew!”
“Yeah, I know,” Changmin laughs. He slides deeper into his seat at the couch and crosses one leg over the other. “As ridiculous as this will sound, I didn’t exactly deny it.”
“What? Why w—no, what?” Kyuhyun coughs in disbelief.
Changmin throws Kyuhyun an apologetic look. “Well, we kind of got side tracked during our conversation and she may or may not just think we’re actually an item.”
“I thought you liked her?” Kyuhyun asks, “Ever since the time you met her at our high school graduation ceremony?”
His face reddens and he tries to cover it up by running his fingers through his hair. “I feel like she’s more comfortable with me thinking that I’m gay with you.”
“Huh,” Kyuhyun humors him, “funny. I’m pretty sure that’s called lying. Qian doesn’t like liars.”
“Look,” Changmin ignores his latter comment. “I’m thinking about proposing to her.”
Kyuhyun purses his lips. “As her now gay best friend.”
“Yes,” Changmin says, but then catches his tongue and tilts his head. “Well, no, but yes.”
They are both silent for a moment until Kyuhyun bursts out in laughter, reaching over to pat his friend on the shoulder. “You, my friend, are very stupid.”
Changmin gestures as though he’s about to punch Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun throws his arms up in surrender, a sly smile on his face.
“It’s a good thing,” he interjects, “it means I can trust you with her. You’ll treat her well, right, Changmin-ah? You won’t do her wrong?”
“I will,” Changmin nods in agreement. “I would never do anything to hurt her, Kyuhyun.”
-
Changmin grows the habit of drawing her curtains open every time he visits. He can read better that way, he says, but it’s really just an excuse to expose her to the sunlight she’s been trying to hide from.
She’s hiding from her memories, too.
“The sun looks good on you,” he comments.
Victoria just rolls her eyes and turns her music up a little louder. Changmin laughs then, because he sees her cheeks reddening at his words.
She’s affected by him and that makes him happy. Soon enough, he doesn’t have to open the curtains himself anymore. No one closes them, and no one even realizes this small change in their routine.
-