Chapter 6 - Nightmares wi (1/1)

< Jessica >  *pant*  Nightmares.  Jessica layed in bed restlessly with sweat dripping down from her forehead. She was deeply fatigue and affected by the accident earlier that day.  These awful dreams of the accident kept flooding back into her mind. They were trying to drown her into feeling guilty for the crime that she had justcommitted. It was as if she couldn't forget that scene, it kept replaying over and over again in her mind.  Jessica didn't need these thoughts to poison her mind because she already knew that she was the one responsible for the accident. She was the one atfault, she was guilty. She knew her morals, yet she stood there, watching the victims car burn without once calling for help. She just heartlessly fled thescene instead.  At the time, her mind was drowned in emotions that she didn't have any time to react, instead she selfishly took the easy and gutless option. To runaway. She knew that running away from problems were not going to solve anything, but she had naively convinced herself that running away had alwaysworked out for her family, therefore why should they stop now? Their whole entire life involved packing their belongings and moving away from placesdue to her mother. Jessica knew that it was her fault yet she forced herself to believe that what she did was correct. She was brainwashing herself.  Jessica had always possessed a strong mentality in her mind from a young age. She engraved into her mind that she would do whatever it takes toprotect her family no matter what sins she commits or whatever punishment she shall receive in the future.Only fate will decide what path she needed to go down and what other difficulties that she would be confronted with.  Fluttering her eyes slowly then widening her eyes open, it felt as if she had broke out from her trance. Panicking *gasp* she sat up with her arms restedon top of her knees. Scanning the room she was relieved as she had realised that she was still inside the run-down motel. Glancing next to hershe saw Krystal and her mother sleeping peacefully by her side. She smiled gently at their sleeping figures. It has been so long since she has seen themsleeping so peacefully. Maybe this really was the end of their continous bad luck for Jessica and her family. Maybe they would be able to freethemselves from this horrible life and start anew. It was always what Jessica had dreamed of. She had always wanted a normal life. It may sound typicalbut she just wanted to live a life as a stereotypical, normal teenage girl. She was not benefitting from their current lives neither were Krystal and her mother.  Distracted from her thoughts by the ray of sun that shone through the window, she had noticed that it was almost daylight outside. A new day and a newbeginning, Jessica thought.  Gently rising from her position she grabbed a pair of scissors from Krystal's pencil case left near her bag and walked towards the bathroom. After shehad shut the door behind her she turned around and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked horrible. She was no longer the pretty, brunette girlthat everyone had stopped to admire. Her skin was coarse, her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was unruly.  Staring at her reflection in the mirror had made her realise that she had transformed into a person that wasn't even recognisable to herself. She wantedto start a new life yet she hadn't changed. Now was that time for her to change, it was the time for her to make changes. Grabbing the scissors off fromthe counter, she positioned the scissors near her hair.  Chaning her appearance was not going to change herself but it was a starting point to reborn. Changing herself on the outside would relfect upon hernew faith on life. It would change her for the better.  " A new beginning. A new life. And a new me."     Burying your guilt may only get you so far. Yet you cannot rely on self hypnosis to forget about the sins that you have made.Karma will equally weigh the positives and negatives of life. You can control your future, yet fate decides the punishment that you shall receive as you repent for the sins committed.    x X xOKAY! i have finally updated..i've been feeling lazy lately..There will be a few more chapters more until i move on 6 years later when they are older etcc...!!