Chapter 10 (1/1)

I had a very hard time to fall asleep. Why am I alone? Umma, where are you? Appa, will you come back home soon? Oppa, will you leave and live with your girlfriend? Jimin and Minseok, why don't you talk to me? What did I do wrong? And this Ahjussi, why is he chasing after me? Should I quit there? Should I stop working more than needed? But what will I do then? Learning? No, learning isn't something I need. Play an instrument? Get a pet? I had too many questions in my head.***I stepped out the appartment later than usual afraid to have to talk to someone. Lost in my thoughts I bumped almost to everyone on my way and apologized heartless. After almost losing my way I arrived infront of the school building. Just then I stepped on something. Just to see something I didn't want to see like that I looked down. It was the arm of my teddy bear. Immediatly I teared up and ran to the closest bathroom. I locked myself in a cubicle, pressed my back against the door and the arm against my chest. I tried my best not to sob loudly but I couldn't help it. Then I felt something in the arm which was already full of whatever teddy bears are made of. I took it out and read what was written on it.'Suffer!'Well they made my whole day miserable. I didn't even have someone to tell it! Everyone was too busy for me whom I once called family and friends. I skipped PE with crying the bathroom. Before the bell could ring I ran out of the bathroom to go home. I wanted to meet my mother. To hear her soothing words. To not feel alone. But before I could exit the building I just had to bump into someone. I froze in an instant and then rushed out as fast as I could. I didn't look back so I didn't knew who it was whom I bumped into but it was defenitely a guy. But I couldn't care less. All I wanted was to go to my mothers grave.First I had to take the subway. From there I told my manager that I couldn't come that day. I looked which bus I had to take. While waiting I remembered that my father would come back home so I texted him saying I couldn't cook for today. In the bus I searched how to reach the tomb. It took me 2 hours. On the way I bought some flowers and changed to my usual clothes, jeans and a simple white T-shirt, in a public restroom.I placed the flowers on the grave and got on my knees."Umma, I didn't come often so I am very sorry... There is so much I have to tell you and so much to apologize." tears formed in my eyes."First of all... I'm in Seoul Of Performing Arts. Can you believe it? They accepted me! Did I already tell you that I like this boygroup called Bangtan? Well, the Maknae, Jeon Jungkook, is going to my class!" I talked to her as if she was on a long business trip and just came back.I told her everything in detail: How that Ahjussi chased after me twice already, how Appa got into a realitionship and Oppa too. How lonely I felt without anyone. I even explained why the Queenkas bully me and why I only had the teddy bears arm.It took me like 3-4 hours to tell her that.In the end I just cried my heart out. Luckily I hadn't the courage today to put on eyeliner.My mothers grave was next to a weeping willow so I leaned against it. I didn't want to go yet but I had before it was too dark. ***My chapters are sooo short... I'll make the next one much longer 'kay?I'll try my best!!And there isn't that much of talking \(^o^)/ or is it bad? ._.(J-)Hope you still like it ^^