[M] Pent Up Longing (M) (1/1)

Hoseok had always been one to fall in love all too quickly.It sounded harmless, but when Hoseok meant he fell in love all too quickly, he also fell out of love all too quickly. And it scared him, because he didn’t want the same to happen to him and Jimin, because Jimin was too special for him to let that happen.Their special relationship and Jimin in general had been the best thing that had happened to him in almost two years. He had honestly felt alone for a while. His deluded mind had almost ruined him with the thought of Choon Hee never returning his feelings. But Jimin had been there, had pulled him out of his measly state of mind and had quickly patched his heart and soul up again with his pure and unique laughter, showering him with his favorite eye-smiles, not knowing how much they were actually healing him. Hoseok felt hurt easily, never admitting how fragile he really was and it was one of the many things he and Jimin had in common. Hoseok was used to being called many peoples hope, but Jimin was his, his own personal ray of sun meant especially for him.Why else would fate have sent Jimin his way? Why else would any higher power, if there was any, make him fall for a certain boy in particular if the world was so against it? Because it was simple. Jimin was meant for him.But the problem was, what worried Hoseok, is if he was in turn meant for Jimin. He had caused him so much turmoil, had made him insecure about his feelings that Hoseok was scared to lose him. Yesterday, he almost had.For that mere second where Jimin had suggested a separation, had felt like a part of his world had fallen apart. He has become so attached to Jimin that he had started taking the youngers presence for granted without knowing how easily one could slip through someone’s fingers.Everything about the previous day, from their argument to their talk on the porch at Jungkook’s, had started to make Hoseok think. He had been restless while pondering the situation in his head while trying to sleep. Deep down he knew that his feelings for Jimin had a few flaws. He couldn’t bring himself to think further than spending the days with Jimin, but that was the problem. How would things go on? Was he completely sure what he was getting himself into?Parts of him were still scared. For instance their intimacy. He had messed up before. Had come on to Jimin way too strong and now he barely tried to make a move. He wanted to touch Jimin so badly but he was hesitant, because Jimin was nothing like a girl, leaving him completely clueless on what to do.He wanted to do things right with Jimin, but right now Hoseok felt like he was walking on eggshells with how rocky their relationship was at this very moment. He honestly didn’t know what to do and it really, terribly worried him. They just had to work this out, they had to.He wanted to give Jimin a little time to think and to work this thing out with Taehyung, the latter had acted strange last night and while Hoseok had no idea what had happened, he could tell that Jimin wanted to be there for his friend even if he himself had his own problems to worry about. So all Hoseok could do was wait patiently for Jimin’s call. If Jimin needed him, he would call, that’s what he kept telling himself as he paced his apartment, phone in hand.He was so on edge that when his phone rang he answered immediately without checking who it was first. “Yeobo seyo?”“Yeobo seyo, Hoseok-ah. Am I finally good enough to talk to or are you just bored right now?”A sudden deep and overwhelming disappointment crashed down on him as the voice on the other end of the line wasn’t the one he wanted to hear. “Choon Hee?”“You sound so surprised for someone who’s been constantly hanging up on my calls. Where you expecting someone else?”Well, Hoseok hadn’t been expecting a call from Choon Hee at all and it had him struggling to grasp the right words. “What? No, I just- I was-or really am a little surprised.” But wait, when had he hung up on her calls? She was the one who hadn’t called in ages.  “You seem so busy lately that I’m starting to miss spending time with you.”It was amazing. It was as if he had gained a sixth sense for Choon Hee or something because now that he wasn’t blinded with his ideal of her, he actually could see through her façade. Usually, he would fall for that cute whiny voice that she used, but now that whiny voice was anything but cute. It was a persuasive manor to get Hoseok’s sympathy and to actually guilt him.“Well, as you’ve said, I’m really busy lately.” Hoseok ran a hand over his face, clearly not having the patients for this conversation right now. He needed to hang up as quickly as possible because Jimin could be trying to call him right now as they speak. “Choon Hee, can I call you later? I’m working right now.” He lied smoothly, trying to sound regretful.“I could just come by. It’s been a while since I’ve visited the dance studio you work at.”He held in a frustrated sigh, because it was unlike her to actually make an effort. “Not today, okay?” he tried his best soothing voice, which felt foreign to fake because he’s never really felt this burdened by Choon Hee quite like this. A knock on his apartment door caught his attention, Hoseok saying a subconscious, “I’ll call you later.” While making his way to the door.An audible sigh from Choon Hee was heard on the other line, “Fine, but you have to promise.”“Yes, I prom…” Hoseok’s voice trailed off the minute he opened the door and came face to face with the one person that hadn’t left his mind all day. Jimin.Hoseok lowered his phone and ended the call without much thought as he studied Jimin’s appearance for any visible changes. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?” he asked while his inspection had ended positive with no physical differences found whatsoever. His Jimin was still as perfect as ever, except for the troubled look on his face.“I hope that phone call wasn’t too important, because no one is happy being hung up on without a proper goodbye.”Jimin had completely avoided his questions and that did not go unnoticed, it just added to his concerns as he stepped aside. “Come in.”Jimin walked passed him without a word, slipping out of his sneakers before making his way further inside.“Nothing is more important than you, Jimin. You know that.” Hoseok answered the previous question, but Jimin still didn’t talk, keeping his back turned to him while hugging himself with one arm. Hoseok couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable Jimin’s posture was, as if he were standing in a strangers house even though this had been like a second home to Jimin. Seeing him this tense, brought back Hoseok’s earlier worries. They might have talked last night and it was clear neither could without the other, but that still didn’t make things better. “How’s Taehyung?” he tried to ease the tension by changing the subject.Jimin briefly looked over his shoulder at Hoseok before averting his gaze. “He’ll live. I’m not here to talk about him though.”He could have guessed so, but it had taken such a toll on Jimin that Hoseok had maybe thought that the younger would like to vent on him about it. But he should have known that Jimin wanted to deal with his best friend by himself and he understood that, it was not Hoseok’s place.He went up to Jimin and lightly kissed his temple, resting his forehead against his while stroking down Jimin’s arms in a slow and comforting pace as he quietly asked, “Why are you here?”Jimin briefly shut his eyes and exhaled, opening them again but keeping them trained on his own hands rather than meeting Hoseok’s as he lifted them, lightly placing his palms on Hoseok’s taught stomach before slipping them on each side of the elders waist. “I had to see you.”Those simple words instantly tugged on Hoseok’s heart as his own longing for Jimin resurfaced even stronger, tilting his head to kiss him without warning. It hadn’t even taken a second for Jimin to react as his pent up feelings took a hold over him and he found himself returning the gesture eagerly.Something felt different about this though, yet quite familiar. This heat that slowly seemed to build up at the pits of their stomach was something they had been confronted with before as Jimin felt his mind slowly grow numb with his favorite sensation of Hoseok’s hand slipping into his hair while the other unconsciously slipped beneath his shirt to trace the hot skin of Jimin’s waist with his fingers. The fear of losing himself to his obvious need for Hoseok and the way the older teased his tongue along Jimin’s plump bottom lip alone was getting him worked up that he had to quickly pull away before Hoseok could try to deepen the kiss.“H-hyung, wait.” Jimin could feel his voice wavering, body trembling as it has come to life with Hoseok’s burning touch and having been deprived of physical intimacy for a long while now. “This isn’t-no, we can’t-” he was so flustered, the confusion mixed with obvious hurt on Hoseok’s face wasn’t making it easier for him to clearly remember why he actually came and what he wanted to say.Jimin’s actions were starting to frustrate Hoseok because it seemed like there was always a back and forth between them without any conclusions made. “You keep giving me mixed signals. Why do you say things like that when you’re going to push me away again? Actions like that hurt me too, Jimin. How should that make me feel?”“I-I’m sorry, I just need to clear things with you before we can go back to how we were.” Jimin tried explained, but the guilt he felt for pushing at Hoseok was making it hard for him to stand his argument, because if he were really honest, he in fact really was an insensitive monster towards Hoseok. It was as if he were trying to distance himself from him, but something always made Jimin want to crawl back, but his devious self always played it out to get Hoseok to make the move he himself was too much of a coward to do. It was so wrong how he secretly wanted to prove to Hoseok how much he needed Jimin by showing him the cold shoulder, because the thought of the older falling for woman was unbearable. And although Jimin knew how wrong it was and that it wasn’t healthy for their relationship, he couldn’t stop. Their relationship had been doomed from the start anyway.  “I just want us to be completely honest with each other for once.”Hoseok felt hesitant, eyeing Jimin’s face carefully. It wasn’t hard to read the younger, especially for Hoseok since he’s been analyzing Jimin’s every mood for over all the months they’ve spent together. Jimin was acting cold and stoic now, but Hoseok could see how clearly frightened he was. “What do you want to know?” Hoseok decided to go along, curious to know what Jimin had in store for him even though the idea of this conversation had his heart beating frantically in his chest with the idea of messing up.Hoseok’s words gave Jimin the push he needed to pull this through. “Promise me that you’ll say nothing but the truth no matter how harsh. I don’t want my feelings to be spared.”All off it gave him a bad feeling, but if this was what Jimin needed to trust him, so be it. “I promise…but only if you promise to not run away when I do. Let me explain myself and I’ll answer anything you want.”That answer alone triggered the part in Jimin that wanted to flee. But that compromise was only fair. “I promise.”Silence seemed to stretch between the two and for just a split second, their defenses slipped, expressions softening while their gazes seemed to mend the other with their sincerity and it made Jimin question, “Do you really want to be with me?”No hesitations this time. “Yes. And I have never doubted that for a second ever since I started writing lyrics to you, because my music never lies.”A beautiful reminder of the night Hoseok had dedicated his lyrics to him, warmed Jimin’s erratic heart. Hoseok had made him the happiest person on earth that night. “But do you see anything else in our relationship? Or am I only temporary, a test to see how long your feeling will hold on for me until you realize you’d rather have a girl?”Hoseok rarely got angry but right now he could just feel the tension build up inside him. “Jimin, you really can’t believe that.”“I need to hear it for myself. Please, just be honest.” Jimin knew this question would upset Hoseok, it was plainly written in the elders stance and the way his brows were furrowed in a deep frown, a complete and utter opposite to his usual sunshine Hope, Jimin noted bleakly. But this had been weighing on his heart the most. It was a reasonable question, for Hoseok had been into women before they met and Jimin was his first boyfriend, so his attraction for women couldn’t have just miraculously gone away. What if they came back? What if he met a girl that reminded him how much he loved the curves of a woman? Jimin couldn’t give him that. All he could do was love him as much as any woman could, if not even more. But would that be enough for Hoseok?“This isn’t fair. For all I know you could be the one leaving me.” He felt betrayed. He knew Jimin had been unsure about a few things, but that the trust between each other had sunken to this pathetic level surprised even him. They really had been careless. How long had Jimin been carrying this burden with him and why hadn’t he confronted Hoseok about it before? Was he able to fix this? “Ever since I’ve met you, none, not even a single one of the women I’ve talked to lately seemed the slightest bit appealing to me. Yes, I might go back to dating girls, but only because there is no man that could ever compare to you and that could make me feel anything and everything like you do every single day.” He wanted nobody else. The time spent with Jimin had been worthwhile in every way. He was like a true rare treasure, something he wouldn’t give up for anything in the world because he was so pure at heart. Jimin was the only person he could ever trust to always treat him right. “Hoseok…” Jimin bit his tongue before he could continue, because he knew he would have blurted out how much he loved him if he didn’t. He knew this wasn’t easy for Hoseok, but he was trying, more than that, he was literally pouring his heart out because Jimin himself knew how insecure he was being even though he knew how Hoseok felt. Just because he’s met plenty of assholes didn’t mean that Hoseok was one of them. Hoseok was far from that. Hoseok’s feelings were the most selfless of them all.Hseok had distanced himself a little from Jimin during their talk, but Jimin tightened back his hold and buried his face in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, placing a soft kiss on his warm skin. “I’m sorry.” Jimin said in a small voice, looking back up with guilt ridden eyes gazing back at Hoseok’s unblinkingly. “I can’t begin to explain how wrecked my feelings for you are. I’ve become my worst because I am afraid of losing you to a girl-”“Jimin, you won’t.” Hoseok interrupted in all seriousness, causing Jimin to look up at him hopelessly.“But I look nothing remotely as close to a girl, which-”“Jimin, you’re more beautiful than any girl I’ve ever been with combined-”“Don’t lie.”“Jimin.” Hoseok said more forcefully, squeezing his sides. “You don’t have a single clue on how I see you.”“My body is different, you won’t like it.” Jimin needed Hoseok to understand that he might not like the feeling of a man’s hard edges whereas a woman was soft and delicate. But he could see the stubborn look in Hoseok’s eyes and he most defiantly didn’t miss the way they lightly trailed down Jimin’s body on inspection.    When Hoseok looked back up at Jimin, the younger could see the change in him almost immediately. “Let me be the judge of that, Minnie.”That tone of voice alone sent his nerves on a hypersensitive note and just like that he found himself holding onto Hoseok while the other had bent down a little to wrap his arms securely around Jimin’s thighs before lifting him up. “Hyung!?” Jimin gasped in shock, grasping Hoseok’s shoulders to keep himself upright while he felt the older move. They didn’t go far before he felt one arm moved up to support his back as he was lowered onto the couch, landing gently on the soft cushions.“You said I barely touch you, that was like an open invitation for me.” Hoseok spoke up, taking a hold of Jimin’s ankles.Jimin felt his heart beat in anticipation, a shiver causing goose bumps to appear on his skin at the mere thought of Hoseok’s hands on him. “You don’t have to prove anything.” God, even his voice sounded strained at how hard he had to pull himself together.Hoseok liked the view from here. Seeing Jimin sprawled on his back, ready for him to ravish the younger if he wished was something he had secretly been wanting for from the very beginning, but having been too hesitant to do so. Even now he was a little scared, but this was Jimin, a boy he was completely nuts for. Jimin spiked his curiosity in every way and this was a part of him he hadn’t explored yet. “I know, but you’ve been provoking me lately”Hoseok’s hands slowly slide up Jimin’s bare and, to his pleasant surprise, smooth calves, taking his time to enjoy the feeling of the younger’s soft and tan skin while he marveled at how strong they felt beneath his fingers. He stopped his hands just above his knees and Jimin could have sworn his heart had almost stopped along with Hoseok’s hands at how close he was now, leaning over Jimin with a small teasing smile on his lips, giving his thighs a loving squeeze.“You should keep your hands to yourself, Minnie.”Only then did Jimin realize his hands where gripping onto Hoseok’s forearms, about to pull at them to speed up the process. “Now you’re just being mean.” Jimin muttered with a slight frown on his face, taking his hands back. He could tell Hoseok was enjoying this too much and Jimin couldn’t bear to admit that he did too. How long had it been since someone had actually teased him instead of instantly ripping his clothes off to go at it? Jimin had to learn to be patient again.“Better?”An embarrassing half yelp, half gasp escaped Jimin’s mouth when Hoseok’s hands had suddenly ran up the rest of his thighs, slipped underneath the basketball shorts he was wearing, just to stop incredibly close to the one place he desperately wanted him to touch. “Shit, Hoseok.” Jimin could surely feel himself slowly growing hard because the older was now stroking his skin with both his thumbs and Jimin could just whine at how unbearable close his thumbs were to touching him. Hoseok had other plans though and Jimin exhaling sharply when the hands on his thighs slid inwards, pushing them apart as Hoseok wedged his own body in-between, slipping his hands back around to fully grip Jimin’s outer thighs back in a strong hold before leaning down to kiss the younger hotly.Jimin didn’t care anymore as he wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck and pulled him further down, hand fisting into the older’s hair to push their lips closer together as Jimin tilted his head enough to deepen the kiss, tongue slipping passed to meet Hoseok’s half way, already feeling like he was losing himself.  He unconsciously moved his hips up against Hoseok’s to feel any kind of friction, letting out a small and pleasing hum when the older pushed his own hips down in response.Feeling Jimin’s excitement against his front made him come back to his senses as he hesitantly pulled away, eyes trailing down to the obvious tent in Jimin’s pants. He could sense his slight fear, but only because he had never been like this with another man. But knowing that it wasn’t just any man, but Jimin he was holding made everything else go away and the moment he looked back up to meet Jimin’s eyes, was like a soothing reassurance that everything was okay. He trusted him.Bending down to give the younger a small peck on the lips, Hoseok removed a hand from Jimin’s thigh and tentatively placed it over his clothed erection, eyes snapping to Jimin’s face when he heard the younger suck in a deep breath, watching in curious fascination as Jimin’s eyes fell closed before his tongue darted out to moisten his lips, breathing seeming to slowly pick up. It made Hoseok feel bold as he started to move his hand to test the waters a little more, realizing that the feeling against his palm wasn’t as strange as he thought it would be when he was rewarded with a vocal pant from Jimin, the younger moving his hips up to match the slow and hypnotizing pace of his hand.“Hyung, please….” Jimin breathed out of sheer longing, mind lost to the sensation Hoseok’s hand brought, loving the way it was torturing him because it felt so good but at the same time it just wasn’t enough. “…more.”God, how Hoseok couldn’t deny him anything when Jimin used that tone of voice, taking hold of the elastic waistband of Jimin’s shorts and underwear, pulling them down before taking his length completely into his hand. An arousing chill ran down Hoseok’s spine at the throaty moan Jimin gave off, the sight causing his stomach to clench in a delight as the younger threw his head back and arched his back while fisting the fabric of Hoseok’s shirt on his shoulder blades.“Like this, Minnie?” Hoseok whispered into his ear while he slightly increased the pace of his hand, causing Jimin to nod feverishly as he agreed with a whiny, “Uhu”. But the contact felt too dry, Jimin’s eyes snapping open with a soft wail at the sudden loss of contact when Hoseok let go, only for his eyes to grow wide when the elder gathered saliva in his mouth and ran his tongue once over the palm of his hands before continuing his ministrations on Jimin’s length but with a whole new and mind-blowing feeling as Hoseok’s hands slid much easier down the youngers shaft.Jimin was trying to catch his breath but always ended up gasping with a strangled, “Fu-ah!” While his whole body tingled hotly, wanting to wrench himself around with the pleasure his body was going through as he gripped onto Hoseok for dear life, making sounds he himself couldn’t register anymore with the blood pounding in his ears. Hoseok didn’t really know what he was doing, but tried to do it in a way he himself knew he liked and judging by how vocal Jimin was being told him he was doing something right, rubbing him a little faster and using his thumb when he sensed that Jimin was about to reach his end.Everything became too much when Hoseok leaned down to suckle at Jimin’s neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin, giving a final flick of his wrist that left Jimin seeing stars as he came with a loud cry of Hoseok’s name, the latter pumping him through his orgasm until the younger fell limp onto the couch in a panting mess.    Even though his hand was a mess, Hoseok couldn’t help but grin down at Jimin proudly. Jimin meet his gaze when he slowly opened his eyes to find Hoseok still hovering above him, that smile he was wearing made him strangely blush because he couldn’t believe Hoseok was actually looking at him that way. But it warmed his heart when Hoseok leaned down to kiss his forehead before moving further down to his lips, everything starting soft, slow and sweetly before it left both of them breathless in the end.“Hyung, I should take care of you too.”A small knowing grin played on Hoseok’s lips. “You should rest with everything you’ve been through since yesterday. I was just returning the favor even if it took me months to do so.”Jimin instantly understood what favor Hoseok was talking about and he couldn’t help but chuckle, “Better late than never.”That cocky smile of Jimin’s was the one that had intrigued him that very first night they have met and seeing it now gave Hoseok the complete reassurance that maybe everything really was going to be okay, that pleasant memory spiraling through his mind, which hadn’t been that pleasant in the beginning but had been the reason that had brought them together in the first place. Hoseok still didn’t know where all of this was leading them to, but he knew this:He was thankful for that very first memory every day.                                                    ________________________________________________________________________________________________________Guess who's back? Me!I want to dedicate this chapter to my favorite OTP JiHope, because they got me started on writing this story. And it's M rated too...heh...yeah well, they’re friendship has been growing strong during the Dope concept and I love watching these two interact.Sorry for those who are wondering about NamJin and VKook but they'll be in the next chapter again :) Please don't be too disappointed because I left it quite open. I sincerely want to thank all you readers and the subscribers and commentators <3 It one of the best feelings to know that people actually enjoy reading your story and most of you really have been really sweet to me in showing your love for this. I wish I could say more, but I'll stop here.