Feeling (1/1)

How many times do I have to be torn

I agonize over it and become resentful

Even though I see the inescapable outcome

I can’t give you upI want only the breathing you – Super Junior; MonsterK E YKey felt his heart drop to his feet at the sight of Jonghyun and Sekyung together by the second row of seats in the auditorium.  It seemed to dance around in his feet, continuing to give him the odd sensation of being thrown off a cliff before the dropping feeling was replaced by a sharp pang in his chest and an odd burning in his core.  He chewed his bottom lip lightly, hurriedly averting his gaze and letting out a small sigh a short while afterword.  Sometimes he really hated how he was.He knew he should’ve been happy for Jonghyun, his newest friend – his only friend if he was honest with himself – but he couldn’t seem to be able to feel genuinely joyful for the elder.  For whatever odd reason whenever he saw his short hyung with Sekyung – which was quite often considering the fact that the two always seemed to be together despite the winter break being only a mere week away – he only ever felt the same odd combination of sensations he was feeling at the moment.  He couldn’t quite put a name to it, but he was certain that it wasn’t something a friend was supposed to feel for their friend when said friend became romantically interested in another person.  He’d seen enough cheesy, sappy friendship movies to know that friends encouraged each other to go out and try to garner their love interest’s attention, and then made fun of them relentlessly when they managed to land the girl and were walking around with goofy, lovesick grins on their faces.Granted, he’d been able to do the first part with no problem; he’d easily convinced Jonghyun to go after Sekyung and to quit doubting himself because she so clearly felt something for him, despite the odd sensation in his stomach that had been trying to force him to stop.  After that, though, everything became a blur.  He felt some type of hurt whenever he saw the two together; coupled with the damned odd sensations he was sure he’d never be able to put a name to.  He knew it was odd, he knew it wasn’t what friends do, he knew it wasn’t right, but for some godforsaken reason he couldn’t find it within himself to stop feeling the way he did.Acting out on it, however, was something he actually was able to repress.  He was Jonghyun’s friend and as Jonghyun’s friend, he understood that he should at the very least pretend that he was happy for the elder and jokingly make fun of him and congratulate him at the same time.  He hadn’t, over the past week in which Jonghyun and Sekyung had seemed to have been endlessly flirting, gone out on the offensive and made snarky comments about the two always being around each other, and he honestly hoped that his intentions to not do so continued.  He rather liked having a friend and, regardless of whatever the hell it was that he was feeling, he intended to keep that friend.Thus, it was because of this that he found himself in his current position: watching his only friend flirt with the undeniably gorgeous creature that was Shin Sekyung.  For what it was worth, he had to give the girl credit for her fashion sense.  He never thought he’d see the day when he couldn’t completely tear apart someone’s outfit. Over the course of the past week, he’d grown a newfound respect for her despite the uneasiness he felt whenever she was in relative proximity because she was always so well dressed, and today was, of course, no exception.  She’d managed to find a pair of jeans that Key couldn’t help but to fall in love with – a pair of gray jeans with rips and white paint splatter designs strategically placed throughout.  Her shirt was a simple cream top with a cheetah cross printed on the front accented by a black wrap-around scarf and complimented by a pair of beige boots that Key found absolutely adorable on her.  They were flat, and Key knew it was entirely on purpose; he was almost positive that it was because Sekyung knew that if she wore heels she would probably be just as tall as Jonghyun was.  Smart girl, she was; very smart.Nonetheless his respect for her through her fashion sense was where any positive feelings he felt toward her ended.  It wasn’t necessarily that he disliked her; in that aspect, he was pretty neutral – he didn’t know her well enough to distinguish which side of his preferences she was on (one side being ‘Oh, yeah you’re a preferable person to be around’ and the other being ‘Oh yeah you’re a person I’d prefer to throw off a cliff’).  Still, he couldn’t exactly say he liked her either; he was relatively uncomfortable whenever she was around, which only ever occurred when Jonghyun was around as well.  He just didn’t particularly enjoy her presence, and it made him feel even worse because she was something to Jonghyun now and he should’ve at least made an attempt to feel comfortable around her but no.  Key hadn’t even attempted to do anything to salvage the situation; he just gave her a tight-lipped smile whenever she came by and bustled off to do something else.Maybe it was his nature from having been alone so long causing him to do such things, maybe it was the fact that he was just that uncomfortable around her, maybe it was because he just didn’t really know how to interact with people all that well.  Either way, whatever it was, it wasn’t helping his guilt in the slightest.He let out a huff and ran a hand down his face tiredly before glancing in the direction of where Jonghyun and Sekyung were still, quite obviously, flirting their hearts out.  His stomach lurched and he rapidly attempted to cast his attention elsewhere, successfully finding a new topic to occupy his thoughts in the form of Lee Jinki standing off to the side of the stage just watching the other elites practice.  He cocked his head and frowned in curiosity, and then stood from his spot on the edge of the stage and headed over to the elder.“Jinki-ssi,” he said when he reached the brunette.  Said boy just blinked and shifted his attention to the blond.  “Oh, hi Key-ssi.  What is it?”Key grimaced at the title and, before he could even think of stopping himself, said, “Well for starters, just call me Key because Key-ssi sounds so weird and uptight.”  Jinki’s small burst of laughter cut his response in half, the elder slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.  “I’m sorry, Key,” he spouted between chortles, “It’s just that that was so blunt.  It was funny.”The blond frowned and scratched the back of his head in befuddlement.  “Are you okay,” he asked when it appeared as if Jinki wasn’t going to cease laughing anytime soon.  The nod he got in reply wasn’t nearly as convincing as Jinki apparently seemed to think it was, for as soon as the elder calmed down, Key asked, “Are you sure?  Normally someone would glare at me for saying something so bluntly.  Nobody ever laughs at stuff like that.”Jinki merely shrugged and, completely surprising the younger, placed a hand on the latter’s shoulder.  “I guess so, Key, but I’m not ‘someone’; I’m Jinki.”  He flashed a smile so kind it touched Key from the very bottom of his heart to his core, and the younger could only stare with wide eyes as Jinki said, in a voice just as kind as his smile, “And Key, just call me ‘hyung’.  Like you said, calling each other ‘ssi’ is really formal and weird.”Key could only nod in the midst of his astonishment.  What was it about the guys in the music department that made them all so unbelievably kind?  His mind seemed to cloud over with possible reasons but in the end, he only managed to muddle his brain and confuse himself further, so he shook it off, squared his shoulders, and brought himself back to the real world before Jinki could take full notice of the fact that he was silent for too long.  He hastily met the other’s gaze and inquired, “Why are you just standing here, hyung?”The smile he received was apologetic and sweet all at once and Key wondered for the briefest instant if it was possible to get diabetes from being around people with sweet smiles (seriously; Taemin was already enough of a handful with the way he gave everyone his cute little innocent grins – adding Jinki into the mix with his never-ending kind smiles only seemed to be adding onto the demerits from his health).  “I’m sorry,” Jinki said, effectively snapping him out of his thoughts before he could get too carried away, “but you guys are all scattered about and I really don’t know what to do for the group since we haven’t really talked about it since we’ve formed.”Guilt settled itself into the blond’s gut before he could stop himself and he let out a small, embarrassed and apologetic laugh.  “Ah, I’m sorry Jinki-hyung!  We’ve all been going around helping out the other groups and stuff so much that we seem to have forgotten about our own group.”  He cleared his throat and swallowed nervously, and then continued with, “From now on, feel more than free to slap us around should we need it to get back on track, okay?”The amused smile that appeared on Jinki’s face was, surprisingly, enough to lighten Key’s mood, and he felt himself smiling back in response as the elder nodded his head and let out a small laugh.  “Alright, but only because you gave me permission to,” he said, the huge grin still plastered on his face.  Key rolled his eyes amusedly at his hyung, and then opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted almost immediately by the very person he’d been watching just a few minutes beforehand.“Hey hyung, hey Kibummie; what are you guys doing?”  Jonghyun gave them both a small, curious smile for a moment before turning to look directly at Key.  Said blond blinked in surprise a few times, caught off guard by the brunette suddenly appearing before him when he could’ve sworn that he was practically super-glued to Sekyung’s side just moments ago.  It took him a few long seconds to recompose himself and mutter, “Oh, I was just telling Jinki-hyung that he should smack us around when we’re all over the place to get us to work on our group performance.”Jonghyun frowned momentarily, and then turned to face Jinki, giving the elder a questioning look, asking for confirmation.  Key watched as Jinki glanced down at Jonghyun’s face (for Jinki was taller than Jonghyun as well) and nodded twice.  The light blush that managed to paint Jonghyun’s light cheeks made something explode within Key, tickling his stomach in the most pleasant of ways, and the blond found himself trying his best to repress whatever it was that was happening inside of him.  He wasn’t sure what the feeling was; all he knew was that, like the burning sensation whenever he saw Jonghyun with Sekyung, he shouldn’t have been feeling it.“Why would you tell Jinki-hyung something like that,” Jonghyun questioned, effectively snapping Key out of his worries and pulling him back into the real world.  He frowned and cocked his head to the side.  “What are you talking about, Jjong-hyung,” he inquired in response, feeling confusion etch itself onto his facial features.  The way Jonghyun pursed his lips made him look almost comical and certainly a little more than adorable, and Key really had to struggle to suppress both the laugh and the tickling sensation in the pit of his core.  The whole ordeal had him turning a light pink from the effort, and he was relieved that Jonghyun didn’t notice as the latter said, “Why would you tell Jinki-hyung that he could smack us around into rehearsing?”Oh.  Oh that’s what he was talking about.Key raised an eyebrow at the brunette, feeling himself revert back to his naturally diva nature.  Good, he thought as he opened his mouth to respond.  Good, I’m better as a diva; diva I can handle.  “Well we can’t just expect to jump on stage in May and have a great performance out of the blue, right?  We need to practice our own performance as well.  We still need to plan our performance actually,” he said, giving his shorter hyung a disbelieving look.Jonghyun, in response, only puffed up his cheeks and gradually released the air.  “Oh, right,” he said when all of the air had escaped his mouth, and then he grinned cheekily at the blond.  “I forgot we were supposed to be in a group.”  He chuckled and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.  Key only rolled his eyes and, before he could even find it within himself to consider what he was doing, spouted, “Maybe if you hadn’t spent the last week being a completely lovesick puppy chasing after Sekyung, you would’ve had the mental capacity to remember.”He realized he’d made a mistake when Jonghyun’s face dropped from its sheepish grin into a sort of offended frown.  “Hey,” the brunette started, “what’s that supposed to mean?”Shit shit shit.  Great job, Key.“Ah, it was nothing, Jjong-hyung, forget I said anything,” Key swiftly tried to amend, although to no avail because Jonghyun only furrowed his brow deeper and pressed onward with the subject.  “Hang on, no really, what was that supposed to mean?  Because you were the one who told me to try and talk to Sekyung in the first place because apparently she’s ‘totally into me.’”  He made quotation marks around the last part, making an odd face to emphasize his point.  Key winced at the visual but didn’t say anything.I know, I know, Jjong-hyung.  I know it was me who told you to go after her in the first place.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.“Just forget I said anything, hyung,” Key said, pursing his lips and praying to whatever heavens in the sky there were that Jonghyun would just drop the subject.  Tense silence seemed to fill the air for an eternity before the brunette let out a small sigh and said, in a voice so low he was practically murmuring, “Alright, cool,” and then, in a much louder voice, “Where are Minho and Taemin?”Key jumped about a mile in the air when a deep voice behind him rumbled out, “We’re right here, hyung.”  He clutched at the spot above his heart and turned to look at Minho, eyes undoubtedly wide and surprised.  Taemin was, unsurprisingly, walking right next to him, his brown hair waved out over his forehead as usual and a cheerful, mischievous grin planted on his face at the sight of Key’s expression.  “What happened, Key-umma?  Did Minho-hyung scare you?”The blond sent the younger a playful glare, not bothering to take offense to the comment.  “Haha, very funny, Minnie.  You must enjoy the sight of your poor umma having a heart attack.”  He rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, placing a hand to his forehead and throwing his head back as he did so.  “I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest, oh my,” he continued, and then melted into a fit of laughter along with Minho, Jinki, and Taemin.He stopped, however, when he noticed that Jonghyun wasn’t laughing, instead watching him with a look on his face that Key couldn’t quite put a name to.  He frowned and resisted the urge to blush under the intensity, and then hurriedly averted his gaze to the two that had just shown up.  “Anyway, guys, where have you been this whole time?  Jinki-hyung’s been waiting for us to start talking about what our group performance is going to be like.”  He made sure to leave out the part where he’d been too caught up in watching Jonghyun and Sekyung flirting from the side of the stage to notice that Jinki had probably spent the past half-hour standing around waiting for anyone from SHINee to appear.  The other four guys surely didn’t need to know that.Minho frowned and glanced over at the eldest of the five.  “Jinki-hyung, is that true?”  When the elder nodded silently in response, Minho’s frown deepened and he took a step toward his hyung, although not far enough to put much distance between him and the maknae.  Key refused to give into the urge to raise an eyebrow in question and settled for just observing as Minho said, “Hyung, why didn’t you come find us so we could practice or think of ideas or something?”Jinki gave the younger a small but bright smile and half-laughed out, “Well you and Taemin seemed to be having fun walking around inspecting and goofing off with each other, Jonghyun seemed to be enjoying his time with Sekyung, and Key seemed to be so calm sitting on the side of the stage watching Jonghyun and Sekyung that I didn’t want to disturb any of you.”Key felt his face flush the brightest of reds before he threw it into his hands and tried his absolute best not to scream.  He felt a pair of eyes on him and knew, without even bothering to look up, that they were Jonghyun’s.  He could feel them boring into him, intense and questioning.  So much for them not needing to know about me watching Jjong-hyung and Sekyung.  He shook his head, face still in his hands, and then mumbled out, “Thanks for that, Jinki-hyung.”  He was glad that the only response he received was a “Wait, what’d you say,” from Jonghyun.When he felt his blush recede, he dropped his hands back down to his sides, blinked the spots out of his vision, and then looked straight up at Jonghyun.  The latter still had his questions written all along his gaze, his expression begging for answers.  Key swallowed and pretended to not notice.  “Well, Jinki-hyung, it’s a responsibility of ours to put together our performance, so you could’ve gone ahead and interrupted us and it would’ve been okay.  It’s perfectly justified.”  He flashed the oldest a weak smile.Jinki, in return, shrugged and stated, in the calmest of manners (as if he hadn’t just completely mortified Key and flung him into a situation that would undoubtedly lead to endless questioning and trying to give half-assed answers), “I mean it’s justified but I don’t think I’d be able to bring myself to do it.  You guys looked really into what you were doing.”Way to add salt to the wound, Jinki-hyung.Key resisted the urge to blush again and pressed on with his point.  “Alright, but still, hyung you’re the oldest so you should smack us around a bit and make us focus on working on everything even when we look like we’re interested in whatever it is that we’re doing.”  He scowled when Jinki pursed his lips into a frown, and then added, “Alright, hyung?  Promise?”A soft sigh escaped the eldest before he gave a short, tired-looking nod, and said “Alright, fine, fine, I’ll do it.  But don’t get upset when I do, okay?”  He turned to give the other four boys a warning gaze.  Key, in his efforts to avoid meeting Jonghyun’s gaze any more than necessary, didn’t bother looking back at his group mates and merely nodded at the eldest’s words.  “It’s fine.”“Okay.”Silence fell over them then, only awkward for Key because he was trying his absolute hardest to not meet the shortest boy’s gaze.  He cleared his throat a couple of times and pretended to examine his perfect nails.  He adjusted his shirt collar and jacket, and then brushed invisible dust off his jeans.  Then he ran his fingers through his blond hair and hoped to the high heavens that someone would break the silence and relieve him of the uncomfortable situation, feeling Jonghyun’s intense gaze on his face only intensifying with each passing minute.Thankfully, his prayer was soon answered as Minho abruptly turned to face Taemin and practically shouted out, “Taeminnie!  I forgot to tell you that you left your sweater in my car this morning!”  Key’s eyebrows almost reached his hairline from his surprise at the statement, and he turned to give Minho a questioning look, feeling a sudden rush of protectiveness over the maknae.“Wait, how did he leave his sweater in your car this morning?  Doesn’t he take the bus or something?”Minho turned to face Key then, scratching the back of his head as he gave Key a quizzical look.  “No.  I pick him up and bring him to school in the mornings and then drop him off after rehearsal.”  He paused in his scratching and gave Key a slightly surprised look.  “You didn’t know?”  Key only narrowed his eyes and shook his head as a response.  “No I didn’t, seeing as Minnie didn’t tell me and you’re only just telling me now.”  Then he turned and, completely forgetting his mental pact with himself to avoid facing Jonghyun directly, asked the shorter, “Did you know about this?”  Jonghyun nodded in response, giving Key a look just as quizzical as Minho’s.“Key,” he began, his voice laced with slight disbelief, “how could you not know?  They always walk out together and magically disappear together after rehearsal.  What else could it possibly be?”A million negative thoughts flitted through the blond’s brain at once and he immediately found himself grimacing at the images.  “Um, nothing; you’re right, Jjong-hyung,” he said after a moment, his grimace only deepening.  Jonghyun’s momentarily confused face made something within Key’s stomach flip, although the latter ignored it in favor of fighting down the blush that was burning its way onto his face.  He didn’t have to struggle long, for as soon as Jonghyun questioned, “Oh yeah, so were you really staring at me and Sekyung earlier,” he felt his face burn as hot as the final level of hell.“Umm,” he began, racking his mind for a coherent lie he could easily feed the older, “I wasn’t actually watching you guys.”  He cleared his throat, trying to shake away the lack of assuredness in it and straightened his back out, trying to throw on his typical sarcastic, diva façade – or at least to channel it.  “I was actually watching the elites rehearse – you know, watching to make sure their routines are coming along alright and stuff – and there was this one group that really caught my attention.  They were right next to you guys, so I can see why Jinki would think I was watching you guys.”Yeah, good cover-up Key.  Nice save, nice save.“Really?  What group was it?”Key sincerely struggled to not allow himself to run away and hide.  He pursed his lips and shifted his gaze over toward the clock hanging by the side of the stage, absentmindedly noting that there was still a whole other hour and a half of rehearsal left.  He cleared his throat and blurted, “Uh, I believe it was that group called BIGBANG or something like that.  Yeah, I think I remember seeing Jiyong around you guys being his crazy, rainbow-haired self.”  He mustered up the courage to give Jonghyun a proud smile, only to have it wiped cleanly off his face when Jonghyun stated, in the most calmly amused of voices, “The group that was by Sekyung and I was an all girl group, Key.”The world is not on my side today.  The world is never on my side.“Oh,” Key responded awkwardly when he was finally able to get his voice back.  “Umm…”  He paused, pursed his lips and averted his gaze toward the floor, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  How was he supposed to cover himself now?  He had nothing to feed the others because, quite frankly, he hadn’t believed anybody had noticed him watching them.  He cleared his throat and released a false cough, muffling it with the sleeve of his jacket, feeling the stares of the other four watching him expectantly.“Well,” he started again, suddenly feeling inspiration rise within him, “Jiyong does have a particularly feminine face, and he’s always got some absurd hairstyle going on, so I guess I just thought it was him and assumed the rest of the group was BIGBANG.”“Key there were nine girls next to us.  BIGBANG has five guys.”You know what, I quit; the world can swallow me whole for all I care now.Key felt his face burn with embarrassment all the way to the tips of his ears.  He hung his head and muttered something incoherent, feeling his face grow hotter and hotter with each passing second.  Silence hung around him, no one saying a word, and he mentally cursed his luck because he hated awkward silences – especially ones where the focus of everyone’s attention was his flustered expression.Thankfully, someone laughed, easing the tension and averting everyone’s attention to the source of the noise.  Key’s face fell into a scowl when he realized that he was watching Jonghyun laughing wholeheartedly in front of him, head thrown back, eyes shut tightly, and arms wrapped around his waist as he let loose wild chortles.  His scowl only deepened when Jonghyun finally calmed, looked at him with the most amused of grins, and said, “Kibummie, you’re such a terrible liar.”  His blush reignited as well, making him look like a fuming tomato.But somewhere deep inside of him, he couldn’t deny the way his stomach was turning at the way Jonghyun’s grin was so wide and strangely perfect, enhancing his face just so in a way that made it appear to be absolutely glowing.  He tried his best to suppress it, to ignore it, and for the most part succeeded – but it wasn’t easy.“Yah,” he shouted, “it’s not funny!”  When Jonghyun only nodded and fell into a small fit of amused giggles yet again, Key frowned and tried again.  “Quit laughing at me, you ass!”  But he couldn’t fight the small, equally amused grin that was beginning to grace his features at the way Jonghyun only laughed harder at his failed attempt to defend his pride.  “Yah, it’s not funny,” he repeated, this time half-laughing, and then before he could stop himself he melted into a fit of laughter with Jonghyun.Within the space of seconds, he found himself leaning his forehead against his hand atop Jonghyun’s shoulder, hanging onto the elder for support as his legs weakened with each passing second that he spent laughing – strangely hysterical.  He wasn’t sure how long he laughed and how long Jonghyun laughed with him; all he was certain of was that by the time they’d both resorted to light giggles and wiping the tears from the corners of their eyes, his stomach was cramping and his face felt hot from the lack of oxygen.He fanned his face in an effort to cool himself down, all the while watching as Jonghyun rubbed his stomach lightly, undoubtedly feeling the same pleasurable ache in his gut that Key was feeling in his own.  They grinned at each other broadly, eyes relaying their amusement to one another.  It was Minho that interrupted them, popping whatever small bubble that had formed around them in their moments of wildly out-of-control humor, catching Key completely off guard and reminding him that there were indeed other people around.“So um, are you guys done yet?  You’ve been laughing for quite a while.”  Key turned and, suddenly blushing all over again, nodded lightly, nudging Jonghyun harshly when the latter let out a rather hysterical giggle.  Jonghyun cleared his throat, threw on a strained, emotionless façade, and nodded as well.  Key rolled his eyes at the display, although he was smiling nonetheless.“Okay,” Minho said when they were both standing unmoving, fully focused on him.  “Well, now that we’re all calm why don’t we actually try to come up with some performance ideas for our group then?”  Key nodded, noticing Jonghyun, Taemin, and Jinki do the same.  He pursed his lips and racked his brain, trying to come up with any possible ideas.  Before he could even come close to arriving at an answer, however, Taemin opened his mouth and questioned, “Well, what kind of performance would we put on in the first place?”Key blinked, letting the maknae’s words sink in and mulling them over in his brain a few times.  Then he realized that the youngest had a strong point; how would they plan out their performance if they weren’t even sure what kind of a performance they’d be putting on in the first place?  “Minnie, you’re such a genius,” he cooed as he turned and pinched the other’s cheek lightly.  Taemin let out a small, amused laugh and swatted Key’s hand away halfheartedly.  “Yah, hyung, I’m a man!  Don’t treat me like a baby!”  But the grin on his face showed that he wasn’t actually offended.  Key patted his cheek lightly in response and said, “Alright, of course, Minnie,” and then he rolled his eyes in amusement for about the millionth time that day.“Anyway, Taemin has a point,” he announced when he turned to face the rest of the group.  “We never actually decided what kind of performance we’ll be putting on in the first place.”  There was a momentary pause of silence in which the boys considered it, and then Jonghyun just blurted out, “Well why not do a musical performance?”Key raised a sarcastic, blond eyebrow and questioned, “Uh, right, because absolutely all of us have some form of musical talent.”  He stopped short, eyes widening when he realized that three out of the five of them actually had some sort of musical talent; with two people in the music department – one with a striking voice and the other whose talent was still (for lack of remembering to ask) unknown but was the head of the entire music department – and one leading the entire dance department at the age of fifteen, he came to the realization that actually, yes, a great portion of them had tremendous musical talent.He coughed awkwardly into his fist and averted his gaze for a moment when he came to the conclusion, and then announced, “Actually a musical performance doesn’t sound so bad.”  He frowned then, and reconsidered his words.  “Except that there are two of us here who aren’t so sure about our musical talents.”  He cast Minho a sideways glance, the latter meeting his gaze and silently agreeing with his eyes.  Key pursed his lips again and turned to look at Jonghyun.  “So how do we solve that?”“Well isn’t it obvious,” Jonghyun replied immediately after, catching Key completely off guard because he was so used to the other needing at least a few moments to think of something.  “We’ll just set aside a time for you guys to show us what you’re good at musically, if you’re good at all, and then we’ll decide from there.”  The elder gave Key a broad grin that admittedly had his stomach turning oddly and his heart thumping against his ribcage.  He struggled against the sensation and masked his face with a serious façade in an attempt to prevent his feelings from creeping into his expression.“Alright, sounds like a good plan.  But when would we do it?”  He cocked his head to the side and raised an inquiring eyebrow at the brunette, who, in turn, shrugged and looked at the other three people in the group.  “When do you guys think it should happen?”Taemin shrugged in response and said, “I mean, anytime is okay with me.”  Minho and Jinki also shrugged, although they remained wordless.  Key placed a finger to his chin, absentmindedly thinking to himself that he probably resembled the epitome of thinking.  He pursed his lips sideways and thought heavily for what seemed like forever before he was abruptly cut off by Jonghyun stating, in a teasingly condescending tone, “Why not just do it tomorrow?  That way we can know as soon as possible.”Key almost slapped himself in the face for not thinking of it himself.  “Actually, that is a pretty good idea Jjong-hyung.”  He turned and gave the brunette a mock-surprised face, eyes wide and a hand over his mouth.  “Oh my god, you’re two for two today!  Who are you and what have you done with Jjong-hyung?”  The light punch on the arm he received only succeeded in making him laugh, although Jonghyun wasn’t far behind.“Alright, so are we all agreed,” Key asked when he calmed down, although the grin was still plastered on his face.  The other four boys in the group nodded and he opened his mouth to begin to tell them to begin to consider ideas for a musical performance when a familiar, soft and delicate voice chimed out, “Oh, sorry for interrupting but um,” Sekyung paused in the middle of her sentence, pouting her lips ever so slightly and running a hand through her, in Key’s begrudging opinion (he didn’t want to even begin to consider why it was begrudging in the first place), flawless hair, “Jonghyun, I need your help with something.”Key briefly pondered whether they were the same age or not, or if Sekyung was actually older than Jonghyun, although he hurriedly brushed it off in favor of examining Jonghyun’s expression.  The latter frowned and turned to the girl, asking her “What’s wrong, Sekyung?”  She shuffled on her feet lightly, hands clasped behind her back, looking up (only just a bit) at Jonghyun from beneath her dark lashes.  “Well, can you just come with me really quick so I can show you?”The blond noticed how Jonghyun pursed his lips and seemed to consider it for a moment before he turned to give the others an apologetic look.  “Uh,” he began, although Key cut him off with a strained, albeit light, “It’s alright, Jonghyun-hyung.  Go ahead.”Jonghyun gave him an odd look for a moment – probably at his use of his full name rather than the nickname he’d been using for the past few weeks – before nodding gratefully and turning to Sekyung.  “All right, I’m all yours,” he said, giving her a small smile.  Key felt his stomach turn at the words, and then felt it flip backwards at the way something seemed to twinkle within Sekyung’s eyes before she wrapped a hand around Jonghyun’s wrist and began to easily pull him away, muttering something like “It’s just right this way.”Key tried not to frown, tried to suppress the burning sensation in his core to the best of his ability, only to be able to pull off a pained grimace.  He tried to not watch Jonghyun and Sekyung walk off stage and head to a part of the auditorium toward the entrance somewhere, Sekyung’s hand all the while still wrapped around Jonghyun’s wrist and Jonghyun smiling despite his situation.  He tried not to allow the sight to affect him in the slightest, only to fail miserably, because the truth was that with each passing second that he spent watching them, the burning feeling in his core only grew.It was when Jinki cleared his throat somewhere to his right that he was able to refocus and turn his attention back to the group.  “Alright,” he began, trying his best to act as if he hadn’t just spent the last few moments watching Sekyung and Jonghyun in an almost daze-like fashion; “so before Jonghyun-hyung left, I was going to say that we should start considering ideas that we could use for our performance if it’s musical, just to have them ready in case of anything, you know?  That way if Minho and I do well we could just jump –“He was unexpectedly cut off by a loud shout of, “Yah!  Taemin-ah, Minho-ah, come here for a second!  Hae and I want to talk to you guys!”  Key blinked and turned on his heel only to see that blue-haired kid – Hyukjae, was it? – from the Super Junior group standing at the foot of the stage with his arms crossed over his chest and his trusty, auburn-haired sidekick standing by his side.  He glanced back at Minho and Taemin, who both simultaneously held up a finger to signal the other two to wait a moment before they turned back around to face Key.  Key opened his mouth to finish what he was saying only to be cut off yet again by Hyukjae.“I’m sorry, let me rephrase that guys; we need to talk to you two.”He frowned for a moment, and then caught sight of Taemin and Minho’s torn faces.  He let out a small sigh, flashed them both a small, reassuring smile, and waved them off.  “It’s fine,” he said, voice light and easygoing, “go ahead.  Talk to your hyungs, don’t worry about it.”  Taemin and Minho shared an uncertain glance, however when Key nodded and waved again, they nodded back and made their way over to the two Super Junior members.Silence stretched afterword between Key and Jinki for a long while, neither of them knowing really what to say.  In the end, it was Jinki who cleared his throat and asked, “So, uh, what were you going to say before Hyukjae interrupted you?”Key blinked once, twice, three times, trying to recall what they’d been talking about before they’d been interrupted, and then snapped his fingers and said, “Oh right!  Well I was going to say that we should start considering ideas for a musical performance so that, if Minho and I do well, we can just jump right in with the ideas and put together a performance instead of breaking our skulls then to come up with stuff.”  He gave Jinki a small smile, which the latter seemed to return wholeheartedly.  “Okay,” he said, “Well then I guess I’ll go get started on that now.”The blond only nodded in response, half-wanting to ask the elder to stay so that he wouldn’t be left alone to the thoughts and emotions he felt buzzing under the surface of his composure, although letting him circle in his spot and walk off in some direction he didn’t bother noting for fear of causing an awkward situation – one where he would have to explain why he didn’t want the other to leave; one where he would have to explain what he felt and why he felt the way he felt in the first place; one where he would have to answer questions he didn’t know the answers to.As a result, he was left standing alone on the side of the stage, slightly obscured by the dark curtains and drowning in his thoughts and the odd sensations in his core. And here we have chapter nine lovelies!

So I have good news and bad news!

The good news is I have finished AP exam testing and took my college class final!

The bad news is that my AP teachers are assigning end of the year projects since we have a month of school left still T^T

It won't be as strenuous as the work they assigned throughout the year, but it'll still be more than no work, so it'll still take time out of my day (aghhhhhh homeworkkkkkk ewwwwwwww).

Anyhow, I'm sure I'll probably still be able to update a bit quicker than I have been lately (ahem, here's hoping that I'm actually right now that I've said I'm sure).

Well, yeah; I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter C: and while it may seem like it was only a fragment of time and completely irrelevant, trust me, there is tonsssssssss of relevance in this chapter. (You'll see what I mean later on if you can't see it blatantly written in the text yet haha).

Ahem; anyway,

Thank you for reading lovelies! <3

_Love always, K