10: My Biggest Prides (1/1)

After ten years of being an idol, I've learned we need to reset our mindset every so often. It's why I've always had a lingering interest in philosophy, or at least little phrases that make me think. It helps me keep my mind straight.  So many other idols or entertainers become jaded and lose their passion. Not because they no longer love performing, but because the mundane tasks required of the job wears us down. I can't blame them, after 200 or so recordings of a music show, how does one not take a show off here or there. "Let the comments come, they'll get over it." That's what we reason to ourselves. I don't want to be that person. Even as a ten-year idol, I want younger idols to look at me and feel motivated. That even though all the hard times, they can come out the other side still enjoying life. But I'm still human, susceptible to failing. So I try to take some time to reset my mind. Recently I read a book about taking pride in parts of your life. Supposedly, a way to keep motivated was to write down your five biggest prides. So I'm going to do that.1. Helping My Younger Sisters with their School Fees.I’ve talked to a few friends who are also the oldest in their family, and the common complaint is the extra responsibility forwarded onto us. I’ve never had the heart to tell them that I never really felt that way. Sure, I was asked more than a few times to watch my younger sisters when my parents wanted some time off or had other responsibilities, but if you met my sisters, you would agree.  They were always my biggest fans growing up. “Unnie! Can you sing us a song?” “Unnie! What should I wear for my date? I’m nervous.” “Unnie, you are so pretty in your dress!” How can I not love them?  “You can do it, Unnie!” Those were the last words I heard from them before I entered my audition to get into SM. I’m not going to let them get ALL of the credit as I did do the singing and dancing, but I wouldn’t be lying when I say that I believe they were the linchpin to me succeeding. I was an absolute mess before I left for the audition and there were my lovely sisters standing in my doorway watching me. As soon as I see them waiting, they ran to hug me and cheer me up.  Two years later, I debuted with Red Velvet. It was a sad couple of years since I couldn’t see my sisters as much, but they were doing great without me and I found my newest biggest fan in Wendy unnie. Thankfully SM had gotten rid of trainee debt and my first paycheck came a lot quicker than anticipated. The four of us in Red Velvet gathered around to discuss how we planned on spending our first paycheck. Irene unnie was very practical, she wanted to get a few items needed around the dorm and potentially some shoes. Seulgi unnie wanted to visit a fancy restaurant, one she had been eyeing since the trainee days. But Wendy unnie was the one that surprised me the most. I had just planned on buying some random gifts for my family, but Wendy unnie said she was going to save it. Her goal was to buy a house her parents could use to live in Korea. It was a well-known fact that Wendy unnie’s family stayed in Canada while she moved across the world to chase her dream. It was then I changed my mind, I wanted to do something a bit more meaningful. My first thought was paying back my family. I think we all ended up agreeing that we should do something for our families after hearing Wendy unnie’s plans, but I didn’t know what to spend it on. I talked to my mother, but of course, she was of no help. “Honey! Spend it on yourself, you have been working hard.” I was thankful, but I needed advice. It wasn’t until I talked to my sister one night and she had mentioned having a dream school she wished to attend. The only problem was the money was a bit too tight for her to go. After discussing it with my parents and a few hours of convincing, I worked out a deal with my parents to help send my sisters to the schools they wanted.  They are out of school now, but I won’t forget how often they loved to brag to me about their school experiences. I never found myself angry though. I always believed it was their way to telling me all the adventures they were able to have thanks to me setting aside some money each time to help pay for their schooling. 2. My Baby, HaetnimI mean, have you seen her? The queen of all pups. My biggest regret was not getting her sooner. Of course, that would have been irresponsible of me. Thankfully, Red Velvet became very popular, but that meant we were extremely busy and I didn’t have the time to properly take care of a dog. This doesn’t even include the fact that 40% of my members were deathly afraid of animals. I never understood it, but the dorm was their home as well and it should be a place of rest and relaxation from a tough day of schedules. Over the years, I started wanting a dog more and more. I began even talking about them on shows and was obsessed with training videos I would find online. I proba