Rain, go away (2/2)
I didn’t respond. “Why aren’t you listening to me? Leave. Him. You hear me? Leave him now, go home and tell him you’re going, tell him you hate him, tell him you’ve lost feelings. I don’t care what you say. Just, leave. I’m giving you an easy way out of this. You either choose to disappear quietly, or I’ll make sure the whole off Korea knows exactly who you are. Jiyeon, the girl who believed she actually had a chance with Kim Myungsoo.” She sarcastically scoffed, “What a joke.”
I stood silently while the girl in front of my continued to stare me down. Her attention had been caught on the glistening ring wrapped around my finger. “I can’t believe you actually believed that he loved you.”
-
I gripped onto the handbag in front of me as I walked down the long foot path to my bus stop. Finally, everything had been over. No more trying, no more wishing that tomorrow would be different. Today, my life had been changed. Today I no longer loved Myungsoo. When I had been a few meters away from my bus stop, I noticed that a guy had been standing at the sign, a hoodie pulled over his head. There was no doubt in my mind, that it was Woohyun. I suddenly found myself running towards him, somehow he had managed to hear me and turn to my direction. He could see my expression and sensed that I had been enraged; he stood there silent, willing to take any punishment coming his way. The bit that had surprised him most wasn’t that I didn’t hit him at all. it was the part when I had hugged him tight, sobbing onto his chest while he stood there in disbelief. This couldn’t be good.
-
“I'm sorry I had to leave, I saw that people had started to recognize me. I'm so sorry. When I had found that note, inside off the jacket you had left in Myungsoo's car, I knew you were in trouble. Why didn't you tell anyone? You know if it weren't for my wondering mind, Myungsoo would've eventually discovered the note, right?” I silently sobbed against Woohyun’s chest, ignoring his question as I had been soaking his shirt completely. I tried my hardest to contain my tears within my system, but that had only made things worse. The rain outside had matched my emotional state; I was a giant ball off mess. Two years ago I wouldn’t have ever imagined being in this position, let alone experiencing it. Love. It’s fucked up, I’m convinced. It drives you crazy, it can turn you into a completely different person, without warning you just do shit you never even thought about doing. I mean, look at the girl who had put me in this position to begin with. It was pretty obvious her actions had been pushed by the love for her idol.
Everything is just so messed up, yet, I don’t want to leave. Myungsoo, I don’t want him to leave me. It’s completely fucked up, I know. Eunmi isn’t even aware of mine and Myungsoo’s long forgotten past; a fan is blackmailing me and while all this has been happening, I’ve managed to keep everything away from the person I was supposed to be completely honest with. What kind of relationship was that? Somehow, within the short amount of time, I’ve managed to convince myself I wasn’t worthy enough for him anymore. I was a mess and he was close to perfection. A boy who’s capable of making careless mistakes, yet his love would be strong enough to fix any problem. I’ve managed to fuck it all up, but I promise I’ll fix it. Myungsoo, forgive me.
I pulled away from Woohyun’s grip around my shoulder and sat up straight, wiping the tears with the back off my hand. “In three days,” I whispered, keeping my attention on my busy palms beneath me. “I’m going to leave. Go far away and never look back.”
Woohyun become speechless, “Jiyeon, you don’t have to-“
I stopped him, by swallowing the lump in my thorat and then shaking my head repeatedly. “No, don’t say anything. Just listen to me, please. This isn’t just about the girl or about me. It’s for him. It’s for Myungsoo.”
The bus came to a halt at my stop.
“You tried, Woohyun and I’m thankful. Really, I really am.” I gently smiled at Woohyun who had been gripping onto my palms. “I’m so thankful, you’ve done so much for us.” I let out a weak chuckle, as my words had been referring back to the first time Myungsoo had confessed to me. “I love you, you know that, right? All seven off you are considered family, my six amazing brothers.” My voice was still bright, yet shaky all at the same time as I gripped onto Woohyun’s figure. He didn’t respond, instead I held onto him for a little while longer. I just didn’t want him to see me cry anymore.
Woohyun didn’t want to give up, he wanted so desperately to push me away and scream no. No, Jiyeon you can’t do this! You just can’t. But all consideration was instantly erased once he had started to feel my chest lightly rise up and down. My sobs weren’t audible, yet Woohyun could somehow feel my fragile heart break a little more while he held me in his arms. The months of hurt and pain had finally gotten to me, he knew I couldn’t breathe. He hugged me tighter and shut his eyes tight. “We’ll miss you,”
I took a long and deep breath and loosened my grip. “This isn’t goodbye.” -
The house was dark, so I knew Myungsoo had either been asleep or at a schedule. I trailed up the stairs and mentally noted to myself that this home would soon become nothing more than a house. All the memories, all the fights, the struggles and the kisses. All stored in this giant house I used to be able to call home. I’ll miss it so much.
I gently swung open the bedroom door and peaked inside to see Myungsoo’s gentle sleeping figure on the bed. He had his arms tucked under the pillow, while his mouth had been slightly ajar. I smiled at Myungsoo’s adorable habit; I knew he loved to keep his hands cool while he slept his exhaustion away. I slowly tip toed beside the mattress and pulled the sheets over his cold body. Without even noticing, his eyelids had fluttered open. “Jiyeon, is that you?”
My lips had spread into a small smile after hearing his sleepy voice. “Yeah it is. Go back to sleep.”
He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Nah, I’m awake now. Where have you been?” Myungsoo pressed his palms onto the mattress beneath him as he struggled to awake his still half asleep figure. I sat down on the edge off the soft mattress and smiled.
“Just out, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
Myungsoo nodded and rubbed his sleepy eyes again as he pulled me closer using his free hand. “Oh yeah? About what?”
While Myungsoo rested his head onto my shoulder, I gazed outside the bedroom window, noticing that the rain had still been pouring down. I was guessing Myungsoo had been freezing as he snuggled up against me. “What’s there to think about?”
I blinked as my eyes locked down at the glimmering ring beneath me. It’s beauty, never failing to amaze me every single time I would simply look at it. It had looked even more beautiful in the gloomy surroundings, shining more bright than anything else in the dark room. I left the ring when my gaze had been caught onto Myungsoo’s wondering expression after lifting my head back up. His lovely orbs which burnt right through mine. I loved his messy bed hair and sleepy, puffy eyes; his innocence was always highlighted best during these rare moments when Myungsoo and I had awaked together. My gaze finally stopped at his lips, they looked so tempting, like they were screaming to be kissed. I cursed at myself, but couldn’t stop the feeling off wanting to grant its wish, and mine.
Without another word, another thought, I tilted my head in and connected our lips. His soft hands cradling the back of my neck as he nibbled gently on my bottom lip. Our kiss deepened, neither wanting to let go until I had remembered what had to be done. I separated our lips and noticed the small smile on Myungsoo’s face as he kept his eyes shut. “I love you,” Myungsoo lightly rested his forehead against mine as he held onto my hands. He opened up his eyes and stared into mine, “So much.”I simply smiled and pulled my hands away, lifting my own hand to meet the other. Hesitantly, I pulled the ring off my finger and forced Myungsoo to open his hand. As soon as the ring had been placed onto Myungsoo’s palm, I felt completely empty, like that ring had resembled Myungsoo being apart off me. While it had been wrapped securely around my finger was when I had felt the safest, without Myungsoo I was no one. I swallowed and smiled at him, he innocently had been completely bewildered as the rain outside continued to pour, when will it ever stop raining? Myungsoo noticed I had taken off the ring, he looked at me and opened his mouth to speak, when I had interrupted him. “Myungsoo, I’m leaving you.”
- - - - - - - - -
I give you permission to hate me guis )-:
<3 I'm scared to say this, but leave your thoughts? Btw! I wrote a new fic :33 LOL can't help myself! It's about Hoya and Woohyunnnieeeeee.
Link > The Broken Dancer
It's not angst... what a surprise haha x)