--7-- (1/1)

Song: Excuse Me by Yoari“By any chance, do you know what hurt is? By any chance, do you know how to cry? By any chance, do you know how it feels to be alone? I wanna live like you. I want all things that you have. It hurts, how I hate myself.”- Yoari; Excuse MeThe next couple of times Chanyeol stops by the bar on his own, he doesn’t spot Baekhyun. Even when he waits for hours as he sips his drinks, Baekhyun doesn’t show up. Just like today, he leans against the counter and drinks the glass full of whiskey, no sign of the small brunette anywhere. He sighs, taking a seat on the stool nearby. He knows there’s no point in this, but he convinced himself to come by again in case Baekhyun would actually show up. Is he avoiding me? It felt like we left on a good note last time we saw each other, but now it feels like he doesn't want to see me.“Chanyeol? Helllooo? Yeol!”Chanyeol snaps out of his trance and turns to the voice, facing a concerned Luna. “What?”“I’ve been calling your name and tapping your shoulder, but you wouldn't budge. Are you ok?”“Y-Yea I’m fine. Just….tired.” Luna raises a brow, not fully believing Chanyeol’s reason. She was also suspicious of why Chanyeol was coming to the bar by himself so much lately. He kept giving her excuses like “just felt like drinking” or “the guys said they were coming, but last minutely changed their minds”, and other lame excuses that she didn’t buy into at all. She couldn’t, especially with how he was looking around for someone like a lost puppy. And she’s not dumb about who it is either because their faithful customer who comes almost every night has suddenly stopped coming. She decides to not beat around the bush any longer and confront Chanyeol about the real reason why he’s been coming here so much.“You’re looking for Baekhyun, huh?”Chanyeol chokes on his drink, placing the glass down. “W-What? No I’m not.”“Bullshit. Ever since I made you take him outside after he got drunk, you’ve been all over him. Also I found it really odd how he’s been missing and you’ve been coming over more.” Luna leans over the counter. “I’m not stupid, Yeol.” She whispers, eyeing him to spill the details. Chanyeol sighs, knowing there’s no point in trying to lie to her anymore. “Ok I am. I’ve become infatuated with him ever since I helped him out. I can’t stop thinking about him and I almost kissed him a couple of days ago and I just want to see him and-”“Whoa whoa whoa, calm down.” Luna puts a hand on Chanyeol’s arm. “Jeez, I didn’t expect you to go on a rant.” She chuckles. “ I also didn’t expect you to fall head over heels for Baekhyun, but that’s cute.”Chanyeol huffs in frustration. “It’s not cute when he has some dark mysterious past and now he’s avoiding me.” Luna pats his arm before retracting her hand. She ponders for a moment before responding.“Well he always did seem like a troubled person. Especially since he constantly came over to seduce men to buy his drinks and then drink his misery away.” She scratches the back of her neck. “Or so it seemed like that to me anyways. I mean he would say some questionable things while he’s drunk.”“Like what?”“Well he’d tell me “men suck” and “don’t believe in stupid shit like love.” Things of that nature.” Luna looks around to make sure there aren’t any customers in need of drinks before looking back at Chanyeol. “He’d also mention a certain person like a man, but never specified who or what they did. He’d just say “He did this. It’s his fault.” But that’s it.” Chanyeol registers the new information Luna has given him. So a guy made him like this? What the fuck did he do to make Baekhyun hate men and completely shut himself away from anything having to do with love and romance?“Do you have his number? Give him a call if you’re so concerned with him avoiding you.”Chanyeol has thought of calling Baekhyun, but he didn’t want to annoy him. It seems as though he has no other options as he hasn’t seen the man in days. He whips out his phone and hesitates to press the call button, staring at the screen.“Just do it Yeol.” Luna pressures him, leaving to attend a customer. Chanyeol shakes away any feelings of hesitation and presses the call button. He slowly brings up the phone to his ear and listen to rings, waiting anxiously for Baekhyun to pick up. He taps the counter with his fingers as he grows impatient. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Answer please. Unfortunately, the call goes to voicemail and Chanyeol angrily ends the call and tosses his phone on the counter. He runs his fingers through his hair, his need to come into contact with Baekhyun building up more and more. Luna comes back over while cleaning a glass cup.“No luck?”Without answering, Chanyeol abruptly stand ups and grabs his phone. He gives Luna a quick bye and storms out of the bar. Luna shakes her head as she puts the glass cup down. I feel as though I’m somewhat at fault for this. She shrugs and gets back to work, hoping Chanyeol will be able to solve the mystery that is Byun Baekhyun.He felt that he had no choice, he really didn’t. I can’t just keep going to the bar and wait on him to show up. Not only was he annoyed that Baekhyun was most likely avoiding him, but he was also concerned for him. After hearing what Luna had to say about Baekhyun, he felt that the man was more unstable than he had thought. What if he’s hurt? What if he hurt himself?! With that frightening thought, Chanyeol immediately knocks on Baekhyun’s door. He thought he was making this a big deal, coming all the way to Baekhyun’s place to see what was going on, but right now he believes it was the best choice than sitting around for more days wondering what the hell is Baekhyun up to. After a minute or two, there’s no answer. Chanyeol knocks again, growing more worried. He doesn’t hear anything on the other side, no footsteps or at least a voice. He decides to knock one more time and plead.“Baekhyun, it’s me Chanyeol. Please open the door”Nothing.Chanyeol feels the panic rising up, but he tries calming himself down by not letting himself jump to conclusions yet. What the fuck do I do now? He calls out Baekhyun’s name again and tries turning the knob to see if it’ll open. To his surprise, it does. He slowly opens the door, the slight creaks sounding loud in the silence of the apartment. He enters and closes the door softly to not startle Baekhyun in case he was unaware of Chanyeol’s knocks and the door being unlocked. As Chanyeol begins to walk he notices multiple empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter as well as the living room table and the few scattered on the floor. He also spots an open, half filled vodka bottle and a bottle of wine on the living room table. He could only imagine how fucked up Baekhyun has been getting with all these alcohol beverages lying around. His heart pounds loudly on his chest as he nears a room, assuming it to be Baekhyun’s bed room. He hesitantly turns the knob and opens the door, scared of what he’ll find. He opens the door to the bathroom where he finds himself looking down at Baekhyun’s body on the floor next to the toilet. He rushes over to him, catching the stench of vomit in the toilet. He ignores the repulsive smell and sits down, grabbing Baekhyun and lifting him to turn him over and lay his face on Chanyeol’s lap.“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol whispers, lightly tapping Baekhyun’s face. He was out cold, a bit of throw up dried on the side of his mouth. His makeup was also smudged everywhere, eyeliner streaks running straight down on his face from his eyes indicating that he was crying. Chanyeol releases a shaky breathe of relief that at least Baekhyun is alive even in the state that he is in now. He gently places Baekhyun’s head back on the floor, gets up, and slides his arms under Baekhyun’s torso to carry him bridal style. He lifts him off the ground, a bit wobbly since he’s carrying an unconscious Baekhyun which makes his dead body weight feel heavier. He carefully maneuvers his way out of the bathroom and in front of the door nearby which is surely Baekhyun’s bed room. After struggling to hold onto the knob and turn it, he manages to open the door and slowly enters as he makes sure not to hit Baekhyun against anything. He finally gets to the bed and lays Baekhyun down, making sure turn his head to the side towards the edge of the bed in case he suddenly awakens and has to throw up. Chanyeol sighs heavily and walks around the bed to sit himself on the opposite side. As he finally has relief and the time to calm down, his gaze looks around the room, noticing how messy it looks.There were clothes thrown everywhere around the floor and the closet was wide open with some clothes in the hangers. There were a couple of more beer bottles on top of the drawers and vanity. He notices all of Baekhyun’s makeup scattered on top of the vanity and a crack on the mirror. Was the mirror always like that or did he break it? He frowns at the thought of an emotional Baekhyun crying and throwing something hard at the mirror. He continues inspecting  the room and his eyes land on a rolled up blunt sitting on the night stand next to his bed.  He stares at it, suprised that Baekhyun would do something majorly illegal in Korea. Chanyeol makes a note to try and talk Baekhyun out of continuing this habit for the better once he’s stable enough. Looking around Baekhyun’s personal space made his heart hurt; everything here was a sign of Baekhyun’s grief and something in the past that really damaged him in the long run. Chanyeol wants to change that. He wants to change Baekhyun’s perspective on romance and men, everything in general. He knows it’ll be hard due to the huge scar Baekhyun has been carrying for god knows how long, but he’s willing to be there for him no matter what. This is the strongest I’ve ever felt for someone and I don’t even know what his favorite color is. He sighs, laying back against the bed headboard and staring off as he contemplates what exactly he plans on doing with Baekhyun. Speaking of, at that moment he hears Baekhyun stur out of unconsciousness, moving a bit. Before he can call out to him though, Baekhyun’s starts vomiting violently. Chanyeol shoots up and scoots to Baekhyun’s side, rubbing his back and trying to say words of comfort. He’s never dealt with this situation before since usually if Jongin gets fucked up, he lets Jongdae and Sehun take care of it and vice versa. Chanyeol himself has never gotten that drunk so the feeling is also a mystery to him.Baekhyun stops vomiting for a moment and groans, spitting to try and get the horrible taste out of his mouth. He lays on his back and turns his head facing Chanyeol. His vision is warped and he’s shaking slightly, but he realizes Chanyeol’s presence.“C-Chan….y-eol?” He asks slowly, his mind in disarray. Chanyeol brushes his hair back and tells Baekhyun to sit up, in fear that he’ll choke on his vomit if he suddenly does throw up again. He helps him sit up, Baekhyun mumbling out words that he can’t understand.“Let me get you some water, ok?” As soon as Chanyeol finishes speaking, Baekhyun throws up all over himself.“Ah, fuck.” Chanyeol forgets the water idea and rushes back to Baekhyun who’s lying limp against the headboard. Chanyeol has a brain freeze moment as he tries figuring out what to do. He decides first that he’s going to slowly removes Baekhyun’s sweater. He makes sure to not step on any vomit and tries to get Baekhyun to sit up straight.“Baek just sit up for a second so I can take this off.” Baekhyun mumbles more and struggles to sit up straight. I’m just gonna have to make it work. Chanyeol grabs the sweater and slowly slips it off, some of the vomit dripping off from it and onto the bed. After the painfully slow removal of the sweater, he throws it on the ground. He looks back at Baekhyun, who looks exhausted. Chanyeol couldn’t leave him all dirty and smelling bad so he then decides he’s going to give him a quick bath. He rushes over to the bathroom, flushes the toilet and puts down the seat, heads back to carry Baekhyun again, and brings him into the bathroom, sitting him on the toilet. “I’m going to clean you up Baek.” He says firmly, but his actions are shaky as he starts to remove Baekhyun’s pants. Baekhyun groans, not being able to form sentences. Once the pants are off, he moves the curtains and turns on the water for the shower head, trying to make the water temperature lukewarm. He’s thankful that Baekhyun has a shower bathtub combo that makes this all a little easier on him. He lifts Baekhyun from the toilet and carefully lays him in the bathtub, getting himself wet as well. Baekhyun lets out more groans as the water hits his skin. His head lays against the back of the tub, his breathing more relaxed. Chanyeol grabs the shampoo and squeezes a good amount on his hand. If I’m gonna clean him up, might as well take him a real bath. He scoots towards Baekhyun’s head and starts lathering the shampoo on his hair. Baekhyun closes his eyes, feeling calm as Chanyeol massages his scalp. Why can’t the showerhead be detachable? Chanyeol glares at the rusty showerhead. He sighs and tries getting Baekhyun to sit up and move closer to the where the water is hitting so he can wash his hair, but Baekhyun just lays limp, not budging. “Come on Baek.”More mumbles and groans. Chanyeol inhales and exhales slowly, this whole situation tiring him out. He stands up and takes off his shirt and unbuttons his pants, slipping them off. The shit I do for him. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. He climbs in the tub, moving Baekhyun as he situates behind him and lowers himself, putting Baekhyun in between his long legs. The position is a bit uncomfortable, but Chanyeol is too distracted with Baekhyun’s bare back against his bare chest and his head on his shoulder. Chanyeol is in a daze for a minute, but goes back to washing off the shampoo on Baekhyun’s head, leaning his body closer to the water. Afterwards he grabs the soap, letting Baekhyun rest against him once again. He shakes off the slight nervousness he feels and starts rubbing the soap on Baekhyun’s torso, his heart pounding like crazy. Baekhyun still has his eyes closed, Chanyeol wondering if he fell asleep or not. He soaps up Baekhyun’s chest and stomach, reaching his boxers waistband. He gulps, the soaked boxer making noticeably lines of Baekhyun’s hip bones and crotch area. He tears his gaze away, feeling like a pervert, and continues rubbing the soap on Baekhyun, applying as far down as he can on his legs. After the water washes the soap away, Chanyeol decides to lean back on the bathtub and relax while the soothing water hits them. Baekhyun’s still pressed against him, his head moving slightly on Chanyeol’s shoulder. He takes this time to really take in Baekhyun’s beauty; his soft, pale skin and pink lips mesmerize him. He slowly brings up his hands and softly rubs his thumb on Baekhyun’s lower lip. God I want to kiss him so bad fuck. He swipes his thumb against his lips again, but immediately pulls back when Baekhyun begins shifting around. His eyes flutter slightly open and he lets out a shaky breath.“C-Chan…?”Chanyeol rubs Baekhyun’s arm with one hand and moves his wet, brunette hair out of his face with the other. “I’m right here.” He whispers, his face pressed against Baekhyun’s wet hair near his ear. “I just finished cleaning you up and now we’re gonna go to sleep, ok?”Baekhyun nods slightly, his head pounding. “I’m going to get up to turn off the water and dry you and take you to your bed, alright?” Baekhyun doesn’t respond, but Chanyeol knows he can hear him. He slowly gets up and leans Baekhyun against the bathtub. He steps out of the tub and turns off the water. He grabs the towel nearby and dries himself off quickly, now wrapping the towel around Baekhyun. He secures his arms under Baekhyun and lifts him up, going through the door, back to Baekhyun’s bedroom, and laying him down on the side that doesn’t have vomit on the floor and bed. Chanyeol softly tugs the towel off of Baekhyun and dries him off, making sure there’s not a trace of water on him. He then scavenges through Baekhyun’s drawer, pulling out a boxer and a big, thin sweater. He walks back over to Baekhyun and begins putting the sweater on him. Afterwards he steadily starts removing Baekhyun’s soaked boxers, his eyes looking around as he tries averting them from his crotch while removing the piece of clothing. He throws the wet boxer to the side and grabs the towel to dry that area off. After, he quickly puts the clean boxers through Baekhyun’s legs and slides them up. Chanyeol admires how cute and clean Baekhyun looks as he snuggles into his pillow. He snaps out of it and looks for another big article of clothing that Baekhyun seems to like wearing, in this case he finds a t-shirt, and puts it on. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have spare boxers and he’s not about to just borrow one without permission so for now he deals with wearing the soaked boxer. Before laying down himself, he gets to cleaning up the throw up on the floor as well as try to wipe off the small spots of it on the bed.Finally with the floor clean and the spots on the bed scrubbed off intensely, Chanyeol finishes up his duties and before going to bed, he walks to the bathroom, finds the blow dryer, and tries his best to speed up the drying process of his boxers. Once they feel damp, he decides it’s good enough and puts the blow dryer back, heading to the room. Baekhyun is still asleep which looks so welcoming to Chanyeol. He gets on the bed and crawls next to Baekhyun, making himself comfortable. He faces Baekhyun, who looks angelic in his sleeping form. Chanyeol runs his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair and lightly brushes his fingers against his cheek. Fuck me, I think I’m in love.He sighs heavily, staring at Baekhyun. He wonders how he got this far, to think that he’s fallen for someone that he still needs to know so much about and clearly doesn’t believe in the thing called “love”.  I would complicate myself like this. I could legit fall in love with anyone else in this world and I fall for…. He knows he doesn’t regret it though. He’s not going to try and get rid of these feelings because he’s in too deep already. He’s made himself apparent in Baekhyun’s life whether Baekhyun likes it or not. And seeing Baekhyun likes this, unable to control his emotions and basically drinking his sadness away, makes Chanyeol want to be with Baekhyun every day and every night. He needs to know why Baekhyun is this way and he needs to let Baekhyun know that it won’t happen again. That with him, it’ll be different. It won’t end up with a broken heart and feeling empty and unloved. Chanyeol would make sure of that, he would make sure Baekhyun gets everything he’s been missing out on and everything that was stripped away from him.With those thoughts running through his mind, he finally closes his eyes and gives in to sleep.Sorry this took forever sobs finals and what not have been keeping me busy OTL hope you enjoy this chapter~!