[M] Leather And Gold 2/3 - Ma (1/1)
"It was the backwards way of doing things, blowjobs before kissing, menthol strips before cigarettes and almost breaking up before becoming boyfriends."AN I don´t know why but AFF won´t let me put a damn title, so they appear as chapters and I´m a little annoyed. This is the second part of the previous one, does anyone know how to fix this?Update: Yall. This is supposed to be called Bite Suck and Swallow but AFF won´t have it. Oh well.-“When I was in highschool,” he started. “I thought the world was going to end right after it.” Unsure of where this was coming from or whether or not he wanted him to answer, Jackson simply nodded, acknowledging his words; obsessed with the low tone of Marks voice, wanting him to keep talking forever and ever as it blended with the sound of rain drops ticking, dropping on the window glass, leaving their long marks on it.“But then I actually graduated, and life went on, and I chose history on a whim, and I wasn´t even that depressed about it.”“You liked school?”“No. God, no.” Mark said. “It was a routine. People telling you what to do is easier than deciding on your own. That way we always have someone else to blame. It´s confusing.”With that said, after taking the final drag of his cigarette and taunting cancer some more, he turned his body around and Jackson knew he was going to kiss him.It was a backwards experience, just like the blowjobs before kisses and this time nicotine before menthol strips - because Mark took the chewing gum before he decided he wanted, needed, craved for another nicotine rush.Jackson didn´t mind the taste.He rather liked it, actually.They kissed for ten minutes that simultaneously felt like an eternity and not nearly enough, lips-locking and spit-exchanging, grabby-hands becoming just a little needier than before, sitting down on the floor leaning on the wall - it was Jacksons workspace and he didn´t care, not when Mark was there, feeling juvenile and boyish and lovesick like song lyrics; unfortunately the best things don´t last forever, and the greenish door of the gasoline station was opened.Jinyoung cleared his throat and Jackson felt like he just got caught by his parents. Or Marks parents. It was Jinyoung, though, and he didn´t know which was worse.“Do you mind?”Mark clearly didn´t, because he groaned and continued kissing - it was only because of Jackson pushing him off his chest and Mark complaining under his breath when he spoke.“Jeez, Jinyoung, don´t you have evening class?”“Got cancelled.”Mark murmured something along the lines of “not my problem” before Jackson secretly hoped the floor would crack completely and swallow him up in a pit of panic, it was only then when he noticed Yugyeom was standing right next to him.“Uh, can I help you?” He asked, feeling just a bit empathic, and Yugyeom shook his head.“Yeah you can.”So Jinyoung yanked him up in one go holding his wrists - Jackson would´ve been offended if he weren´t slightly mortified - and with minimal effort and some more complaints from Mark who got his mouth stuffed with another cigarette from Yugyeom, Jackson was yanked out of the gasoline station, his work place, and into the rain, under the dark clouds.He wasn´t sure why. He wasn´t about to ask.“Alright.” back on the wall. Back on the same wall Mark sucked his dick on. Ah, good memories. “How did you do it?”How did you do it. Jackson expected a punch, a hit, some yelling, but he was calm, almost friendly. It made him all the more nervous.“Excuse me?” He blinked. Once. Twice.“Mark.” Jinyoung said. “Why is he so in love with you? What did you do? What do you have?” He touched his face, inspected his hair, poked his chest. “I mean, you look alright. But you´re short. And have more eyebags than eyes. I guess you have a nice tan, though.”Jackson did not know what to say.“So what is it?”“What are you eve-”Then Jinyoung put his right foot on the wall, partially blocking Jackson to lit up a cigarette. He was convinced that they could pay his and Jaebums entire college tuition with the money they spent on them.“Do you like him?” This was ridiculous. Jackson thought.“Of course I do.” Was his answer.Jinyoung analized his face, his expressions, looking for any signal of him lying or bullshitting while taking a drag; it looked stupid to Jackson because they were in the rain and surely his cigarette would go out soon. And it did. Jinyoung threw it on the floor.“Hm.” Hm. “Did you fuck or…?”“What the hell.”“I´m serious. He´s only had one boyfriend before. Which is why I think it´s weird he´s so infatuated with you, because his ex is, like, your total opposite.”“In what way?”Jinyoung sighed. “He was an ass. You´re nice. He´s in jail. You´re working for a future.”“He told me you´re studying in an Ivy League.”“Yeah.” He rubbed his neck. “But that´s what´s up - you don´t happen to snort cocaine, do you?”“His ex did?”Jinyoung eyed him for a bit, and Jackson knew he was meddling in business he should´t have gotten involved in. Whatever history Mark had with this boy sounded messy and sad, something bad enough for Jinyoung to check on his potentials just in case.Jinyoung frowned. “Wait, how much did Mark tell you about him?”And then Yugyeom and Mark walked out, leaving the actual gasoline station unattended. It didn´t really matter.“Don´t beat him up yet.” Mark said. “Don´t be too intimidated, they just wanted to thank you and Jaebum for the other day.““Oh.” Jackson said, looking at him from tip to toe as if he expected something about him to change after hearing about his boyfriend. Nothing changed, however, and Jackson felt a little lost.“Where is he?” Jinyoung asked.“Too bad. He has evening classes and was pretty stoked about finally getting to work with sculptures.”Mark laughed loud and Jinyoung frowned, the thought of Jaebum, ever so aggressive but collected Jaebum working with such a fine art clearly amusing them. Jackson snorted, ironic, he thought, coming from people who studying in Ivy Leagues but couldn´t afford a can of beer.-“You fucked up.” Jaebum offered that night after Jackson told him everything. “You fucked up. You shouldn´t meddle. Now that you know something about him he didn´t tell you life is gonna find a way to fuck you over with it.”And then,grunting and throwing his textbook on the floor, he fell asleep, and Jackson knew he was right.- Days passed and life still hadn´t fucked him over. Rather, the leather club somehow, for some reason, started showing up uninvited and really Jackson shouldn´t have been amused since it was a gas station after all, but he totally was because they never ended up buying anything. Just opening packets and bags and ended up sitting on the floor talking and smoking or talking and drinking or sometimes just talking.On the eight day of this unlikely friendship, they were stupid high and swooning from left right and from back to front in a rhythm that only they could hear and feel - Jackson did not think for one moment that this was the responsible thing to do, but neither did he spend any more than two seconds thinking about the consequences to really care - the smoke went from his mouth to his throat straight to his lungs and Jackson could swear he could feel it all the way down to his toes and tips of his fingers.Jinyoung recognized good kush and he knew how to spread it right, without a grinder but loosely on his thighs, licking the paper wet to keep it all together - when Jaebum asked how he learned where to get quality, Mark simply wiggled his eyebrows mysteriously and only Jackson knew he was just fucking with Jaebum.Mark and Jinyoung were good kids. Always late on rent but always pay it anyway. Eat their dessert before dinner and that´s just because pancakes are cheaper than a healthy meal. They were good kids.“There shouldn´t be any judgment - we live in a country where students are shoved in a corner for their education, and drug trafficking is just a spike in the giant money printing robot of the United States.” Jaebum claimed after about six spiffs, fist in the air and inhaling for the seventh. “Long live fucking America.”“Long live fucking America.” With that said and lazy cheers aside, Jinyoung and Mark stood up - sweaters pulled up and the hoodie over their heads, the gasoline station speakers hijacked by their phones to play music that felt like a whole other drug on its own, they danced and played around.At some point between the comfortable silence and lazy conversations, Mark was sat on Jacksons lap, on the floor like the rest of them, and eating chips they shouldn´t have been eating - while passing the smoke from mouth to mouth and Jackson could go on his knees and swear that the proximity got him hooked and fucked up, higher than he had ever felt before.It was a different high, though, a high that doesn´t just go to your lungs, but an intoxicated and poisonous high that bites in your organs and won´t let go. Slipping in his conscious, then fucking with his unconscious.That venon was the same poison that had him groping Marks hips on the spot, digging his nails in his skin and he could´ve broken it and made him bleed and neither of them would´ve cared about it - the dirty tiles of the dirty gasoline station felt so pretty when Mark was there, Jackson thought, leaving butterfly kisses on the back of the other boys neck, making sure to remember his scent and the shades of his blonde hair, the beauty marks he could see and the warmth of his skin.“Can we go to the car?” Jackson whispered, lips on Marks studded ear.“Mhmm.” Eyes close and head rolling on Jacksons shoulder, Jackson kissed his neck one more time before standing up - feeling like the world was fictitious and like the four of them were the only people standing on the planet - like everything was made out of plastic. Like he was a lot lighter than he thought he was, and like it was only thanks to Marks touch that he had his feet on the ground.Finally, with Mark swinging around and leaning on Jackson, they made it to the car and it was only when they locked the doors when the others realized they were even gone in the first place; distracted by their own highs and released of worries.Jackson kissed him, hungrily, quenched, thirsty, needy, Mark was not a choice, but a necessity, and his touch was was both a luxury and a vitality - like he´d die without it, but like he was lucky and god damn blessed to have it. So he touched him like a treasure, hands roaming softly, just touched him in case he might break apart and like he was made out of the most precious porcelain, a porceilain doll tasting of weed and it was okay because so did Jackson. A good ten minutes of lips-locking chest-touching hair-grabbing and lots of loving had Mark on his knees again, a familiar position, just lazier, messier, sleepier, it could barely be considered consent, Jackson was far too gone to think about it twice. He was rougher than usual when it came to his arousal that was somehow less intimate than their short kisses and long touches were , Mark´s eyes closed and sucking the tip, then further down to finally let it hit his throat - he coughed and choked and teared-up, it was ugly, Jackson loved it. “You´re so good to me.” He finally said, hands in Marks hair who was licking his fingers from the bit of release he didn´t manage to swallow up immediately. “You´re so good to me.” He repeated.Mark barely listened, the first time feeling distant, the second like a mantra that put him to sleep.-Two months and nothing in their relationship had been set in stone - Jackson didn´t want to, didn´t dare to take the first step, a little too scared of the prospect of a reaction that´d end with his heart breaking and him dying because of it.It was in the middle of the first week of the third month when something changed, a quiet, soundless shift that felt as vulnerable like a thread, like a violin chord or a bottle of alcohol standing at the edge of a table.“It´s my brothers graduation next week.”They were in the car again, this time riding home and Jackson would drop him off like he usually would when Jaebum wasn´t there to complain about it.“Oh. Congratulations. Didn´t know you had a brother.”“I do.” Jackson said. “We don´t talk much though.”“You don´t get along?” Mark asked, curiously examining Jacksons face through his bangs, one leg propped up on the chair.Jackson thought about it. “Nah, let´s just say we have a different mentality on a lot of things - he´s graduating in law. Star football player. Lives with his girlfriend of five years. Studied on a scholarship.”“Jealous?” Mark was teasing him again; Jackson made a mental note to remember this when he had the other bent over the counter and fucking him hard from behind. He briefly wondered if he did it for that in the first place.“Not at all, baby, his life is too plastic.”“You´re just talking shit. If you were him you´d be gloating about your success twenty-four seven. He doesn´t know you´re into guys, does he?” Never having a coming out phase didn´t mean the people who weren´t close in his life knew about it, though, and much less did it mean he was completely comfortable with them knowing that about him - it left him just a bit more vulnerable than before; he couldn´t care less about strangers, but he cared about his brother, cared about their differences.“No.” Somehow, suddenly he felt caught. “He doesn´t.”Mark sighed out loud as if he already knew and closed his eyes, listening to the engines and the cars rushing them by for a good few seconds before he opened his mouth again - he wondered what those people did, at that moment, how different their days were compared to their own, and yet they were all driving on the same highway, at the same time - it was a beautiful coincidence.“Different lives for different people, baby.” He said. “I´m sure he´s somewhat jealous of your freedom, too.”Jackson didn´t believe him for one second.“Your brother will never know the meaning of these kind of conversations, or what it´s like to see two people beat the shit out of each other out of frustrated love - he´ll never hear the conversations you´ve heard, and he won´t ever get that moment of rolling a joint in a car after fucking.”And that´s where Mark fell asleep, shortly after saying something along the lines of yes-we´ll-come-with-you-to-his-graduation, frankly, Jackson was barely even listening.