2013. January 19 -part 1- (1/2)

2013. January 19th. When I lost and you mocked me, I thought you were really cute. I adored your smile. I did nothing to deserve your beautiful smile, but you still showed it to me endlessly. I remember the day it faded away because of the same 'nothing'. I remember you, and I remember me. I wish I have done something to protect you...   „So how was it? Did you meet the guy?” asked Im Jong as he put his leg on the balustrade and leaned on it to strech his muscles.

„What do you mean?” asked Jongin.

„You know, your homo roommate. Did you meet him?”

„I did.” replied the younger nonchalantly, trying to put on his training shoes.

„ And?”

„ He seemed normal to me.”

„You say that until you find him under your blankets late at night, trying to get 'closer' to you. Seriously though, gays are disgusting.” scoffed Im Jong.

Jongin was about to say something but the choreographer interrupted him „ Okay guys and girls! Hope you guys rested well and are full of energy because today's practice will be tough! Remember, if you don't keep up, you fall out! Now, let's continue from where we left off. Everyone into their positions now!” echoed the harsh tone of the foreign teacher through the practice room.

As the music sweeped through Jongin's body, he felt incredibly good. It was as if all his worries and problems had been erased from his mind. He didn't have to care about anything. He loved this feeling the most. There was no showcase, no deadline, he didn't have to worry about any of those things. It was just him and the music. His moves flow freely with the rhythm of the song, every step he takes, every breath he takes is in tune with the music. His moves are smooth and easy, his natural talent makes him stand out of the crowd, threatening his classmates' chances for the upcoming showcase.Jongin wasn't the only eager one to aim for first place though. Every student did, but the competition was fiercer in the dancing department. There were 360 students in the Dancing Departments, each year had 130 students majoring in one of the required dancing classes, each class with at least 30 students each. Everyone had their own reason for being number 1 in the upcoming showcase. Everyone wanted to be part of the industry, everyone wanted to be professional sooner or later. People mostly preferred it to be sooner than later though, so they grabbed every chance they could to stand out and get attention for their abilities. Some get lucky enough and achieve their goals sooner while others can't seem to accomplish it ever.        That day, Jongin made up his mind, to start practicing even harder. Now that he have moved into the dorms, he will definitely have more time. He decided it would be best if -between classes- he wouldn't go back to his room but ask for a spare key from the Janitor's Office to studio 303, he has been using for his overnights.

„Lunch would take 20 minutes, and if I sleep 4 hours a day, I would still have time to review the routine from 5:30am to 8:00 am. Extra practice starts at---” Jongin's thoughts were interrupted by someone tapping his shoulder, a small voice calling out his name from behind.„Excuse me,”

He looked up to meet with a familiar face smiling down at him brightly. „ Imhee?” he asked, surprised. „ So you do remember.” said the girl as she sat down next to Jongin, putting down her tray on the table „I thought you may have forgotten about me.” she smiled.„ Well, you are Im Jong's sister afterall. Everyone knows you.” said Jongin as he stuffed his mouth with a spoonful of rice.

„ Just because of that?” asked Imhee dissapointedly, looking at the boy next to him who was fidgeting with his phone while chewing on his rice.

„W-wehll” Jongin started, mouth still full as he stood up and grabbed his half-empty tray „ classh stharts shoon, I need tho go. Shee you!” he said, and walked away hurriedly, leaving a dumbfounded Imhee behind.

It wasn't that Jongin deliberately showed her the cold-shoulder. He was just too fixated on dancing that nothing around him mattered anymore. Not until he got what he worked for so hard.

Eventhough Jongin was only a freshmen, he already made his name known on the first day of auditions with his sharp and precise pases and smooth movements, recieving recognition from his fellow peers and teachers. But it wasn't enough. He didn't want to be an 'outstanding student', no, he wanted to be the best. He was greedy for perfection. After classes, Jongin went back to the dorms. He was dead tired from his all-night practices and packed schedule so he was more than happy when he finally reached his room and fell on his bed, instantly falling asleep. He did this a lot.

He had nightmares about the showcase for months. Will he fail? Is it too late now? Will the choreography be ready until then? He constantly worried about these at night. His mind never stopped worrying over his future whenever night has fallen and he was left alone in the dark. In order to stop the noise in his head, he tried everything he could. From music till medication, but the most effective method seemed to be practice, afterall. He tired himself out to the point his bones were aching and his body was shaking. After those intense all-nighters, he became so tired he could fall asleep anywhere and everywhere in a blink of an eye. It was working. However, Jongin was never a heavy sleeper so he woke up immediately when he felt something touching his legs. „Monggu, stop. Get out.” he mumbled sleepily into his pillow while he tried to shake it off of his legs. It only grabbed his legs firmer though. „Monggu!” Jongin shouted as he raised himself and turned his face only to see his roommate bending in front of his bed, hands on Jongin's feet while his huge eyes growing enormous as he looked back at Jongin.

„W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?!” Jongin shouted at him as he slapped the other's hands away angrily.„Sorry, I was just about to...”

„To what??”

„I-I just saw you lying here in your street clothes a-and I just wanted to take off your shoes because I t-thought it would feel uncomfortable...” Kyungsoo explained while rubbing his hands.„You know what? Whatever I sleep in, is non of your business! Get out of my room!” Jongin hissed at Kyungsoo angrily.„I'm sor-”

„Get OUT!”