[I] (1/1)

TW: Carcrash. Mentions of being in a hospital. When she opens her eyes, the first thing she feels is pain. There's pain everywhere. Her throat is sore and she's running out of breath. That's when she realizes that she's wearing a mask that's helping her to breathe. Then she hears the beep that matches her heartbeat. She can see the ceiling of a room and when she looks down, she's met with a blonde head resting on the side of her bed.Yerim...Kang Seulgi is aware that she's at a hospital right now. But how? she wonders. How could this happen?The last thing she remembers is being in the airport with Seungwan. Her friend had been staying with them at their place for a couple of days and they had the best week ever. She remembers how Seungwan hugged her and cried on her shoulder. She didn't want her to leave but it was the way it was meant to be. Her childhood friend, also known as Seulgi's longest crush, had already decided that she wanted to live in Canada. It was where she could work as a writer and also as a Youtuber. She remembers how she caressed her friend's hair as she pulled away and they bid their farewells. Seulgi stood there as she watched her leave. Seungwan never turned around. She sighed and she got her hands inside her pockets as she walked back to the parking lot. She recalls sending a text to Yerim as she sat on the driver's seat. She hadn't started the car yet. I'll be home soon. What do you want for dinner? - Seulgi.She never read her answer as she dropped her phone on the passenger seat and looked at her reflection on the rear-view mirror.Seulgi closes her eyes and tries to remember what else happened because her memory goes blank after that.She's taken back from her flashback when she hears a low grumble and she feels a weight being lift from the bed. Yerim...She's here. She opens her eyes for her. She tries to move the fingers of her hand but that's when she felt the pain. She can't hold back her whimpers. She looks down and she finds a cast on her hand. Yerim is fully awake now and she's talking to her, but she can't hear over the sound of her breathing.Seulgi grips at her breathing mask but Yerim stops her. The doctors come in and check on her. She looks for Yerim but she's nowhere to be found anymore."God Seulgi, I was so worried." That's the first thing Yerim says once she's back in the room. Seulgi reaches out to her and this time she's able to hold her hand. "I know. I saw you." Yerim rolls her eyes at her answer. Seulgi still manages to try to ease the situation and smile, but it's not enough to make all Yerim's worries go away. "What the hell happened?""You had a car crash." That's exactly what her doctor has just told her, but it didn't make sense. How could she not remember? She would remember something like that happening to her. The doctor said that it was too soon for her to remember."But it's okay now, right?" Seulgi asks. Yerim caresses her hand absentmindedly. "I guess it is, for now. It could have been worse..." Yerim tries to reason, but her lower lip starts to quiver. "Oh god, I was so afraid I could lose you, Seulgi."Seulgi feels guilty when she sees her flatmate cry. Yerim, who was five years younger than her, shouldn't be worrying about her. It should be the other way around. It was always Seulgi who took care of Yerim. "But I'm okay now." She reassures her, even though she's still not sure about that. At all. But she still has to try."You don't understand, Seulgi." Yerim caresses Seulgi's hair, threading through her locks with her fingers. "You were dead for minutes. If they hadn't brought you around, who knows if..."Seulgi knows what Yerim means and this time she can't hold back. She can't keep being strong for Yerim. Yerim holds her as softly as she can as Seulgi cries on her chest.They cried and they talked about it for two hours without even realizing that the time had gone by. The doctors came back and Yerim went to grab a coffee to a nearby Starbucks. When she came back, she sat down on the chair next to Seulgi's bed as the nurse kept doing her checkings. When the nurse leaves, Yerim looks at her in wonder."What are you thinking about?" Yerim gasps as she has been found staring. She shyly looks down at her coffee cup."I just... It's silly, but I just wondered how it would have been if you just..." Yerim rubs her cheek as she tries to figure out how to word it. "I just imagined how the night would have turned out if you had come back home."Seulgi smiles at that thought and hums happily as she imagines it. "It would have been just like any other night.""Right?" Yerim grins at the thought. "You would be back home and I would have yelled at you because you didn't bring dinner, and you would tell me that I should have checked my phone.""And we would order something from the same place and that boy would come to give us the food. He always looks at us like...""Can these girls eat so many chicken wings?" Yerim laughs and it grows contagious to Seulgi. She holds her stomatch and she can't hold back a cough. "Be careful, you.""I guess I will have to take it slow, geez," Seulgi complains while giving Yerim a pout. Yerim shakes her head in amusement. "You never change, don't you?"Yerim brings her coffee cup up to her lips and drinks it. Seulgi thinks about that. "There are so many things I would have loved to do..." Yerim lets out a sigh as she places the coffee cup back to her own lap."There are so many things you can still do, Seulgi." Their gazes meet and there's a click inside Seulgi's head. "Right... Right." Seulgi slowly sits up and Yerim stands up from her seat, almost throwing her cup of coffee. Seulgi lets out a chuckle. "Yerim, I'm alive. There are so many things I want to do before I die.""Of course you silly!" Yerim smiles at her and pats her shoulder. "But for now lie down, honey." "Okay, mum." Seulgi rolls her eyes at her and she lies down again. "But I don't want to make a list of the things I want to do before I die. That would be a silly bucket list of things I would never actually do. I want to name the things I will do as soon as I'm out of the hospital."Yerim can't help but be overwhelmed by the girl's sudden enthusiasm. She had gone through so many feelings in just a few hours. She still manages to smile at her flatmate and she takes her phone out of her pocket."Okay, I'm writing them down in our Kakaotalk chat," Yerim announces as she unlocks her phone and gets to the app. "What do you want to do first?""First, I want to..." Seulgi looks at Yerim's coffee in her hand. It's the one she usually gets in Starbucks: the one who has ice on it. She always forgets its name. "I want to have ice cream at that ice cream store near our apartment." "You mean the one where your crush works?" Yerim gives her a sly grin. Seulgi chuckles at her friend's antics. This is what she needed. She needed her friend to be the one she usually is. Now the situation seemed more normal."Yeah, that one. And once I'm out of the hospital, I'm asking Joy out on a date.""Wooo! Get her, girl!" Yerim celebrates as she writes that down on the list. "What else?"Seulgi looks down at her own hands. The first thing she thought when she found out that her fingers in her left hand were broken was that she always had wanted to play the piano."I will get piano lessons. I already know a girl who could teach me. I guess I will have to call her."Call her. Those words echo in her mind and she's back in the airport. She sees Seungwan's smile as she's pulling away.I will call you when I'm home in Toronto.Yerim sighing in content with her coffee brings her back to reality."Okay, call the piano teacher," she reads as she writes it down. "What else?""I want to visit Seungwan. Well, Wendy, right? That's her name overseas after all." Yerim smiles at the thought. "I would love to go with you... if I ever get over my fright over flying." Seulgi chuckles at the way Yerim shivers at the thought. "Yerim, I will be there with you. You won't have to be afraid."Yerim shrugs and grins at her. She stays silent for a couple of minutes before she puts her phone back in her pocket. She reaches out for Seulgi's healthy hand and squeezes it."I guess I'm not afraid now."Seulgi isn't sure if she gets the meaning behind her words, but she can't hold back her smile. "Anyway... You should get some rest. I'll be watching over you.""Like a guardian angel?""Don't you always say that I'm more like a spawn of Satan?" Yerim pokes playfully at Seulgi's cheek. Seulgi chuckles at her antics. She gasps when she remembers what they were talking about before Yerim told her to rest."Would you call Seungwan and tell her what happened?""I already did. Her phone is still off. I guess she isn't in Toronto yet."Seulgi nods in understanding and that's when she realizes that her head is aching. She really needs to rest, just like Yerim just told her."I will make sure to let her know, okay? Right now, I need you to not worry about a thing and just sleep."Seulgi gives her a weak smile as she's already drifting to sleep. Still, she makes an effort and reaches out to touch Yerim's cheek.Yerim holds her breath at the gesture."I'm glad you are here, Yerim," she whispers. "I love you."Yerim feels her heart beating faster but she tries to shake it off by giving her a chuckle, that turns out to be more like a chortle. "What are you now, confessing your undying love for me?"Seulgi smiles at her. She knows that Yerim is not used to hearing that sort of things. She sighs as she closes her eyes, her hand leaving Yerim's cheek. "You know how I mean it." Yerim watches her as she falls asleep. She sits down and drinks the rest of her coffee silently. The lid of the cup helps her to silence her sobs. Gods, I've been so afraid I could lose you.