Light in Blood (1/2)
"No!" he shouted as he jumped up from the bed. His voice was so sharp,
So sharp it could cut skin. He had never been so loud.
Insanity flashed in his eyes.
He picked up the pieces of the scattered light bulb and sobbed. He rubbed the glass over his face,
Trying to extract every last breath of heat
And surge of electricity to restart his dead heart.
He madly turned to look at Sunggyu -
Anger had overtaken him.
In a single motion,
Woohyun lunged onto Sunggyu
And pushed him onto the bed.
He yelled at him:"I hate you! I hate you so much!
She needs me! Don't you understand?
She needs me and now I can't help her!"
Sunggyu felt like his body was being stabbed with one hundred flaming needles.
Woohyun had never...said that he hated Sunggyu before.
The words pierced his skin and stung like venom. Sunggyu's heart felt numb.
His heartbeat arrested. He could only focus on the pain of Woohyun's words
As he choked out the words of his dying heart.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...
I just...wanted you to love me."
Woohyun's face was masked by darkness.
The suffering,
The weakness,
The dull yet hopeful glow of cheeks...All was replaced by rage.
Sunggyu was absolutely terrified.
There was nothing left of the Woohyun he once knew.
Woohyun growled and grunted
As he hit Sunggyu's chest repeatedly. After hearing Sunggyu's exasperated sounds,
The anger inside of him quickly spread from his arm to his mind
And made him achieve a level of insanity only his anger could control. He switched to hitting Sunggyu's face.
His swings were merciless
And his hands were hard on Sunggyu's cheeks. Sunggyu felt like his jaw would break,
But the blows hurt insignificantly next to his heart.
Sunggyu could not defend himself.
He was too hurt -
Hurt that Woohyun was treating him so awfully,
Too hurt to notice the pain.
Sunggyu closed his eyes
And took each hit with a heavy conscience. He felt he deserved to be punished -
He had made Woohyun hate him.
"What have I done?" Sunggyu wallowed aloud. Upon hearing his voice,
Woohyun stopped himself.
He was atop Sunggyu's waist.
He breathed heavily
As he climbed back down the ladder of irrationality,
All too slowly.
Woohyun looked at the shards of glass in his hands.
He sobbed. His crying was uncontrollable.His heart and his mind were at a disconnect...
One outraged, one sorrowful, begging for forgiveness...He didn't know what to do.
He was tired of being torn.
"I'm sorry," he whispered between tearfalls and shivers,
"I'm so, so sorry."
He tilted his head backwards and closed his eyes.
Sunggyu watched him carefully -
He couldn't say anything.
He didn't know what to say.
After Woohyun's shivers subsided
And his shower of tears was reduced to a drizzle,
Woohyun spoke to the ceiling,
Because he couldn't look at Sunggyu anymore. Not after what he did.
Not after what he did to him.
"I'm sorry, Sun Hee.
I'm so, so sorry.
I am her light.
She knew me by my light
And that is how she recognized me. Without my light,
She will never find her way home.
She needed my light to see through the darkness,
But once she left me...
My light went out...
Because every time I saw my light in the mirror...
It would remind me of her. And I hated to be reminded of her...
Because remembering her was painful.
It was unbearable.
So I closed the curtains and sat in darkness;
I didn't want her to find me.
I wanted to run away from her. I told myself to forget her every second of every day...
But never could I forget her face. She had been etched into my memory;
Her face was part of mine.
The longer I sat in darkness,
The more my light faded away,
Until soon it was gone,
And I was sure I had forgotten her. But that was when the vision came -
The moment I realized I was forgetting.
I saw her...
Being dragged into darkness
And trying to escape.
She called out to me
And asked for my light. But I could not give her my light
Because my light was lost.
She tried to run from the darkness
But she couldn't see anything;
She ran back into the hands of darkness.
She cried my name again and again,
But my light never reached her. So she was carried into darkness -
Blind, alone, and scared.
After I saw her,
I was haunted by her face every night and day. I knew that she needed my light to come back,
And I wanted her to come back so badly. But I could not find my light,
And she could not see home without light.
So I turned on the lamp.
I turned it on and kept it on
To show her the way -
The way back home.
I knew, I just felt that she would see the light
And would run away from the darkness
And would knock on my door again.
But now...
How will she come home?
How will she ever find me?
My light is gone.
That was the only light I had left.
And now...
I have none.
I...I...
I've lost her."Â Sunggyu felt tears weigh down his eyelashes. He now understood Woohyun. He felt so sorry...
But there was nothing he could do.
'Woohyun never turned off the light
Because he never wanted to forget her. He knew that he needed to,
But he never wanted to.
He was in love with her,
And he knew that if he did not keep the light on...
She would never come back. She would...
Die...in darkness.
Alone. And her memory would fade.
Because with each passing second a memory is withered.
And once a memory is gone,
There is no getting it back. And she would never be remembered
Because there was no one else to remember her.
Nobody knew her,
Not like Woohyun did. And with her memory gone...
All that would be left would be empty promises,
Unrequited professions of love,
And a requiem for the dead. Nothing but empty promises...
And darkness.
The lamplight was the only connection he had to her,
And it was her only chance of returning home. And without its light...
She will be lost forever.
Oh, dear Lord,