Shattered Glass, Restless (1/2)
The grass cuts the soles of my feet;
I stand in a garden of thorns.
I am standing next to him,
And he is next to me.
A breeze blows
And the thorns rattle. I can feel the wind all over my body -
Why can I feel it everywhere?
I look down.
I am standing naked.
I turn to look at him.
He is naked too.
We are both naked,
Exposed,
Vulnerable
To nothing but each other.
I am ashamed;
He must not see me naked.
I look around for something to cover me,
But there is nothing here. All of the flowers have died
And all of the trees are bare.The garden is full of nothing but dead branches and vines
And thorns that cut through my feet and into my soul,
My entire sense of being.
He turns to look at me -
How much does he see? He must not see me naked;
He must not deem me weak.
I crouch down.
The thorns dig into my flesh
And the vines restrict the flow of lifelessness within me.
I cover myself with my arms -
Surely he cannot see me now.
He is staring at me.
I feel humiliated.
I am naked before him -
I have nothing to hide;
Nowhere to hide.
I hang my head
And close my eyes. Why am I still here?
I will myself to run,
To find someplace to be clothed in shadow,
But I am transported home instead. How I hate to stand behind these walls.
I want to be anywhere but here.
Her unreachable face is hovering above me;
It is so close I can touch it.
As my fingertips brush the strands of her hair,
I hear a twig crack.
My eyes shoot open and I am back,
Crouched and bare,
Bleeding in the garden,
Hidden by nothing.
He is walking closer to me now -
Why must he come closer?
I close my eyes again.
I want to be somewhere else,
Even back home.
His footsteps come closer.The sound covers me in fear,
In shame.
Suddenly his footsteps stop.
And so does my breath.
I can sense his presence.
He is standing in front of me.
I lift my head a bit;
I do not see his feet.
I lift my head more -
No knees or legs either.
I look up towards the sky -
He isn't there either.
He isn't anywhere at all.I am alone.
I stand up again.
My knees are pierced by thorns.
There is something in the distance -
A halo of light beckons.
It must be her;
She must have saved me from him.
I run toward the light -
I want to see her.
My feet come down hard on thorny twigs,
And I hear a shout behind me.
I ignore the burst of sharp pain and turn around.
The sound of crunching twigs is deafening in the emptiness.
I turn and he is there -
He never really left.
He is stomping on something
And he is shouting at it.
Twigs break under the weight of his feet -
They scream in anguish
And laugh with metal and venom. To whom do they direct their sounds?
I run to see what he is crushing.
My feet are bleeding but I no longer care.
Once I am close enough to see,
I stop in horror.In disbelief.
Paralyzed.
Petrified.
He is stomping on her face. It is bleeding and swollen and ugly.
She cries,
She begs him to stop.But he does not sop. He laughs with the twigs.
She calls my name,
I tell him to stop!
The light in the distance fades;
She is no longer here.
All that remains are the cuts on my feet,
His laugh pervading the air,
And a cold gust of wind
That makes my naked body shiver with apprehension.
Soon the world around me becomes dark.
I can no longer see.
But I am still here,
Naked and alone - Alone with him;
Alone without her.
Sunggyu felt faint as he walked away from the apartment. He felt like he had left himself behind in Woohyun's room -
At the table in the kitchen,
In the corner of the wall,
On top of the bedsheets,
Next to the imprint of his body.
He had spent so much time there...
He could not believe that he was leaving.
As he walked -
His heart in his head
And Woohyun's face all around -
A strong breeze blew. It whipped against his skin
But he did not feel it.He was numb with Woohyun
And the memories that would remain memories.
He walked forward,
Step by step,
Further into the distance.
But his footsteps stopped
At the sharp sound behind him: Glass shattering -
The glass of his window.
He turned around quickly.He was worried about him;