The Dream, The Memories a (1/1)

I felt strangely warm when I began to seep away from sleep. I opened my eyes.I smiled to myself.What a funny dream. I was in my room,In my bed.And Key was here too. He was curled up against my chest,His soft breath fluttered across my shirtless body.Streaks of sunlight fell upon his pale hair.How beautiful. I like this dream. I took a deep breath in satisfaction.My Dreams had gone.And now I felt like I was in Heaven. Thank you for this Dream. It was a weird feeling,Key felt light as he lay on my chest.His clenched hands rested on my torso as well.The nails tickled my skin. When was the last time I had such a Dream?I furrowed my forehead as I tried to remember. Oh yes.This was my favorite one!  - - - -  It was a bright day.Everything was a bright. There was lush green grass everywhereAnd a dark river splashing nearby. “Come on, Jonghyunnie! Blow out the candles!” a voice filled with joy spoke at my ear. Before me, laid on a plaid blanket, was a cake.It was a pretty cake, although small.Soft white icing with swirls of baby-blue,Designed to look like stars. Candles were on top.One, Two, Three, Four! I obeyed the voice and blew.Poof!The flames disappeared! Whisps of smoke danced into the cloudless sky.I smiled. There was laughter and clapping “Yay~ My Jonghyun is now officially four years old! What a big boy you are now!” I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.I knew that voice.It was Mothers! I tried to turn in her lap,I wanted to see her face.But instead there were balloons hiding her face. I forgot about her face.I like balloons. As she cut the cake I stared at the balloons.Red. Yellow. Blue. And Green. I let them go.I let them go free. I watched quietly as they rose higher and higher into the blue sky. It was the same blue as my cake! The balloons rose high and soon vanished from my sight.I hope that they will find my Daddy and bring him home.Then we can all be one happy family.  - - - -  I smiled at that Dream.That Memory.What a good day that had been. I froze as Key moved.Why am I still in this dream? I don’t mind it though. Key murmurs something,Making his lips brush against my skin. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back,I felt a warm sensation rushing through my veins.I was trying not to move too much for Key’s sake.My heart thumped against my ribcage. Then I couldn’t hold it in anymore.If this was a dream… then why not? I opened my eyes and watched Key.He had rested again.My eyes locked on his head.His soft hair. I began to lean forward,My chest rising up as I did so,Bringing Key along with it. I took a deep sniff.His hair brushed against my nose as I took in his vanilla scent.I closed my eyes, leaned down,And kissed his head. I lay back down.The warm fuzzy feeling exploding in my chest and my lips. I couldn’t help but grin to myself. Even if this is a dream,I couldn’t be happier! Key’s lips slowly curved upwards as he stirred.Then he lifted his head up and looked at me,Squinting his eyes. “Good morning, Jonghyun.” I smiled back “Morning!” Key lay back down on my chest.Suddenly he leapt up, as if he was frightened. “I-it’s not a dream!” he stuttered as he slid off the bed. What does he mean it isn’t a dream?Of course it is!Isn’t it? “Isn’t it?”  I voiced my thoughts. Key stared at me.And then I knew it wasn’t a dream.Shit. We stayed there,Key standing,Myself sitting half naked on the bed.Avoiding each other’s eyes. I felt like an idiot to not remember last night! Key spoke first “W-well… do you want to go out for breakfast? Ten minutes?” I swallowed and agreed, “I guess so.”Blushing he hurried into his own room.I pulled the sheets above my head,Wishing that I would wake up again. One thoughtWas he awake when I kissed him?  - - - -  We had breakfast at a small café.It was chilly this morning.Our huffs in the cold morning air turned our breaths into rising steam. I shivered in my suit.Key wouldn’t allow me to go out in my daggy clothes,Even though they were warm. Key acted like nothing had happened.Like he hadn’t slept in my bed with me.He’s good at acting. He was drinking a latte.I was drinking coffee.We didn’t feel like eating yet. “So,” Key broke the heavy silence that had veiled us “What do you want to do today?” “Don’t we have a class today?” I felt confused. Does Key want to skip? Instead he shook his head “Nah, yesterday was the end of the first semester. We have a two week break period.” “Oh.” I frowned “But why me?” He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow “What?” “Nevermind.” I thought it best not to question anything. Key led me to a park.I remembered it being that park.Where I had sung yesterday. Perhaps music isn’t that bad…NO! Music is bad. Don't think about it.Don't listen to it.Don't sing. I swallowed and pursed my lips.I can’t sing.Key might laugh.He might say that I can’t sing.I can't sing anyway.Music was bad. Key looked back at meAnd I realized I had slowed down while lost in my thoughts. He seemed to be observing me closely.Then he burst into a grin “You know what you need?” I blinked a confused reply. “New clothes!”  - - - -   “I can’t believe you’ve never gone shopping yourself before! Who bought those horrible clothes for you?” We were walking towards a large shopping centre, Dongdaemun Market. My thoughts flashed back to Minho handing me a labeled bag with my clothes. “A-a cousin.” I muttered and rubbed my frozen hands together. “Eugh, he or she has some pretty bad taste then.” Key stopped and waited for me to catch up again. Ever since he thought of the idea to go shopping it was as if someone had put springs in his steps. “Are your hands cold?” I nodded.Suddenly something warm and soft slid between my fingers and squeezed my hand. Key. “Are they cold now?” Key gave a happy smile and began to pull me along, never letting go of my hand. All of a sudden my hand was hot and sweaty.My breath became heavy and I began to tremble. Why is Key doing this to me?He doesn’t know I love him yet.But why…I don’t think I can take much more… Key was too excited to notice anything, I think. As soon as we came to the front door of the massive building Key gave a small shriek of joy and ran inside, dragging me along. Inside it was warm, but Key never let go. People.People everywhere.Noise. There was so much noise! I had the impulse to cover my ears and block the yelling, the screaming, and the voices that pierced my eardrums. But I didn’t.I couldn't.Key was still holding my hands. I gritted my teeth,Harder and harder,Whenever I thought my ears would explode. “In here, Jonghyun!” Key pulled me after him into a store. Clothes.Clothes everywhere!But the noise had gone,And only a soft humming sound could be heard. It sounded strange.Up, down, around and around.Then I froze.Music. Piano music. “Here! I think these would fit you Jonghyun!” I heard Key’s voice very far away, but could feel him holding something against me. Everything was spinning.I felt sick and tried to close my eyes. The laughter…His laughter echoed through my mindAs the music turned into a discord of screeching pianoNotes.I remembered every note.Every note that had been scratched into my memory fromThat day. Up, down, ‘round and around. Then it stopped and everything went dark.But all too soon I escaped from that dark, silent paradise. I could still hear Key’s faint voice murmuring something.Opening my eyes I could see him kneeling beside me, hisMouth moving, but his voice not matching it. Then, like a rush of wind, everything surged back.“Jonghyun! J-Jonghyun!” I pushed Key aside as I sat up, gasping for air.I hadn’t realized how empty my lungs had been.I realised then that I had fainted and had hit my head on a rack of clothing. “Do you need assistance?” a young lady hovered behind Key. She looked frightened. I shook my head, still panting. My head was hurting. “Come on, Jonghyun. Let’s go…” Key helped me up and then I followed him to the noisy place again.  He left me alone at a table, saying that he’ll be back soon.He gave me money to buy food if I was hungry.But I didn't want food. I wanted to cry.All of a sudden and far too fast,The memories were coming back. I didn’t want them to.I had been sure that I had forgotten them all. Until… Key came.And all these funny feeling started.It was almost as if Key was the key to open my past. I didn’t want to see the past.Not anymore.Inside I knew that they would not go away now. I knew that they were going to appear and reappear. Until I… until I… “Jonghyun! I’m back!”  Key appeared out of the flow of rushing people. His arms were full of bursting bags. “These are all for you! We’ll try them when we go back.” “Key.” I felt my lip trembling. I couldn’t hold back these feelings. “What is it Jonghyun?” “I lov-“

“Hello Key! And Jonghyun…” a soft voice cut through my words. We both turned to the owner of the voice.It was Onew.Lee Jinki. His eyes were no longer twinkling.They were dark and dangerous.His mouth was no longer turned up into a smile.It was straight and serious. “O-Onew!” Key drew a sharp breath. “Hello. I see you two have been doing some shopping. Funny thing that I should run into you.” Key back away from Onew slowly,Stopping once he was behind my chair. I felt angry at Onew.He was the one that scared Key.He scared him so much that Key couldn’t sleep by himself. “What do you want, Jinki?” I glared at him, wishing I had had the sense to bring my bag. A smirk crept along the ends of Onew’s lips “Oh nothing, nothing. I am just surprised at Key. You do move fast don’t you, honey? What are you going to do once you have him in your clutches, hmmm?” “Go away, Lee Jinki.” I practically spat out the words. I had felt Key trembling behind me. I had no idea what Onew was talking about, but I didn’t like it. It was hurting Key. Onew continued speaking in his soft, poisonous voice “Ah, poor, innocent Jonghyun. I wish you luck. Both of you.” Then he was gone.He had melted back into the crowd.But I could still see the dark hate in his eyes before he went. “Oh… oh Jonghyun…” I turned around in my chair. Key was white as a sheet.His breath shuddered in and out.His dark eyes dilated in fear,Like cornered prey in the animal world. His knuckles were also whiteAs he gripped onto the end of the chair. I stood up and placed my hands gently on his rigid shoulders. It was as if ice was melting as he came back out of his trance. His muscles relaxed, one by one,But his breathing didn’t.It was shallow and fast. “Come on Key, let’s get out of here.” I took hold of some of the bags with my left hand and suddenly there was a grip on my right. It was Key’s hand.It was sweaty.But I didn’t mind. He held my hand so hard it began to cramp.I didn’t say anything.Key didn’t talk either. It was as if all of his energy had drained out.All of a sudden he seemed fragile and weak. I will look after Key like when Key looked after me.Maybe one day I will tell him of my past.Open up. I quickly deleted those thoughts from my mind.The last thing Key would need was a scary story about me. I found an empty taxi and told him the address of the hotel.We arrived in ten minutes. Key hadn’t let go of his grip and my hand was in agony.I swallowed the pain down and led the dazed Key into theHotel, into the elevator, down the hall and into our unit. His breathing was the same,His eyes too.I led him to my room and left him sitting on my bed.I took the bags off his armsAnd released my wet hand from his grip.I went back outside of the apartment. I carefully locked the door and ran back down to the café.I bought another hot chocolate and speed-walked into theElevator and hurried back to Key. Hot chocolate would make him feel better. I was sure of it. He was still in the same position when I returned. As I walked towards him, though,He suddenly jumped up and threw his arms around me.I had lifted my arms up as a reflex, causing the scaldingDrink to run down my arm and begin to drip onto my chest.I opened my mouth in a silent scream. But gently I placed my undamaged arm around Key.Then I realized that Key was crying.Crap. “Don’t let go of me, Jonghyun. Don’t let him hurt us.” It was an awkward position for me.Standing in the middle of the room,One arm straight up in the air,Acting as a water-slide for a searing hot drink.The other wrapped around a sobbing Key,Who was silently insisting on leaning on me for support. I lost my balance and we both fell.I lost my breath as Key tumbled onto my chest.The hot chocolate had left my hand in flight and had,Surprisingly, landed upright across the room. But I wasn’t paying attention to that.It was as if time itself had stopped asKey and I locked our eyes on each other. His eyes swiftly glanced at my lips and then back at my eyes.Unconsciously I licked my lips and all of a sudden all I couldSee was his lips. Soft and plump and… oh so close. “Key…” I mumbled as he leant forward. I closed my eyes as our lips touched,Soft and sweet.I could taste the salty tears that had fallen upon his lips.I pressed a little harder on his lips,Lifting my head off the ground and placing my handsAround his waist. Suddenly I felt weak,It was as if there was an explosion of fireworks hadExploded inside my chest.Then I realized it was my heart. We broke apart,But didn’t break our gaze as we opened our eyes.Key’s warm body against my own…My lips still tingled of the feeling from his… I felt something go hard downstairs. (A/N: You'll know what this means...)Key didn’t notice as he continued to stare at me. Then my lips started to move “Key… I love you.” There was a warm silence in the room before Key replied “A-and I… I love you too, Jonghyun.”  -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-