A Map of the Sky 3 (1/1)

VII: Neptune, the MysticBlue, expansive body of water; carved by wind and the moon. Cool and yet dynamic, marvellous and yet dangerous was the ocean. For countless times humans claimed we all came from sea. The mother of life, giving birth to all bodies that roamed the earth: the sea.For a brief moment, it was cold and quiet. It shouldn’t be, but it was. It wasn’t summer anymore—people tend to forget about the sea after summer ended. But the coldness and quietness of the sea lasted no longer than a moment for the sea was full of life and its silence and draughtiness was merely a part of charismatic charm that it embodied.Two figures slowly approached from the village direction, heading straight for the shore. As they went down the sandy hill, the man between the two held the other’s hand, leading and carefully making a path for the other. They didn’t speak any words, but they were understanding each other flawlessly.“We should have come earlier,” said Jiwon as soon as they were at the sea level, disappointed slightly at the fact they arrived right on time to watch the sun set. He was not fully disappointed, though, and Sooyoung knew. They walked towards the coast. It was eerily soothing for them both.“You’ve always disliked the sea, Sooyoung-ah,” Jiwon said. The girl didn’t say anything, but Jiwon chuckled at her expression. “The sea was something I have in common with your sister, that’s true, but I have loved the sea long before I met her.”Sooyoung crouched and grazed the wet sand beneath her. A lick of waves washed away the traces of her touch. Jiwon would crouch with her if his knees weren’t in such a bad condition. He watched as she gracefully brushed her hand in the water, writing invisible letters. For a moment, and just that moment, Jiwon was a man watching over a woman. Sooyoung sighed loudly and folded her arms. At that very moment, Jiwon blinked and turned his eyes away, towards the sea. Sooyoung, then, was on her feetEverything was back into place.The sunset wasn’t a beauty one expected to see as in photographs and movies. The sky was hardly red and almost the usual blue. The waves were calming down. They just stood near enough for their feet to be grazed by billows of waves, and so, they quietly watched.There were many things that bothered them, but none spoken. Easily, they let the swirling wind to take those away, far from them. For a moment, there wasn’t any burden on their chests, no bad memories, just the two of them and the sea. Nothing more, nothing less. At least that was, until Sooyoung poked Jiwon’s sleeve urgently. Jiwon turned to the voiceless girl with questioning look.“There,” her eyes answered along with her pointing finger.In the distance, they saw a man walk through the wooden path carefully put for the anglers. He had a huge ransack in his hands. Even from where they stood, they knew something was going to happen.*****No one was watching, he thought. He drove off to the shore in an old car he bought years ago, but rarely used. The sea greeted him with tremendous force. Its curling waves resembled beckoning hands that impatiently invited him to come away with them. He did not mind. He did not, at all.Staring deeply at the red spiral on his painting, his heart was hardened like stone. He tried, and tried, to remember what this red spiral was. He wanted to know, but his memory rejected his curiosity. All he remembered was humiliation, inhuman level of humiliation, and anger. His fingers dug deep into the canvas, tearing it apart. He shifted his eyes up, to the sea. With a whisk of his wrist, he threw the painting into the sea. More paintings he took out from his ransack. He broke them one by one, tore to shreds or broke into two, and then threw them into the sea. No one could see those hideous paintings anymore.The water before him was tempting, tempting him to succumb. It wasn’t much, he probably wouldn’t die if he jumped, but he wanted to. Perhaps if he didn’t try to swim he could die? He leaned forward and felt himself pulled in by the sea.The next thing he knew was dark and suffocating feeling.Then, rough hands around his chest, dragging him out of water.“What the hell were you thinking?!” an equally rough voice yelled at him. Jaejin opened his eyes and coughed. His chest and many holes were filled by water. He was this close to die by drowning.“Why did you pull me out?” Jaejin asked petulantly. He had yet to be aware of his surrounding, but when he did, he felt like doomed.“Why did I? Why would I let someone drown?”It was Eun Jiwon, the man who had interfered with his life twice. His bracelet was still around Jaejin’s wrist for a reason that Jaejin himself didn’t know. He was furious and Jaejin shrank before him, cowered. He felt terribly guilty even though this man shouldn’t have that kind of effect on him.“I’m responsible for my own life—don’t touch me!” Jaejin yelled, slapping Jiwon’s supposedly helping hand away. Jiwon was headstrong, more stubborn than anyone Jaejin had encountered before.“But killing yourself is wrong!” Jiwon insisted while he tried to stop Jaejin from getting away.“Who said that?”“My appa!”“Your appa? What are you? A kid?” Jaejin yelled even louder than he ever did before. He tried to stand, but he wobbled and ended up on his bum again. Jiwon shouted angrily:“Shut up!”“Why are you even helping me?”Jiwon genuinely looked shocked. He said—“Just because we are not that close yet, it doesn’t mean I could stand and watch as someone I know jumps into the sea purposely to drown themselves and I can do something to save them!”This was unacceptable. Jaejin could not accept to be saved thrice by same person. That was as much as his dignity went.“Mind your own business! Don’t act as if you were a hero!”“I’m done being a hero—I’ll be the villain to your suicide attempt!” Jiwon pressed, grinning with determined look on his face.“What?”“I’ll be a referee!”—Jiwon rummaged through the pockets he had all over his clothes and after a moment, he took out a printed photograph of himself—“Here! You get a red card! Out, out, you have to sit on the bench now! Don’t fight the referee!”“What the…” Jaejin was astounded, again, but he wasn’t here to listen to anyone. No one could stop him from doing what he wanted! “Stop it! You don’t know how it feels to lose hope and want nothing but death!”He didn’t see it. He would have understood if it was Eun Jiwon who came for him, but it wasn’t. The girl, who spoke no word and hid behind the man, stepped forward. She shoved Jiwon aside and slapped Jaejin across the face. Her own face was red and filled purely by rage. Her eyes were glassy from tears that were held back. She stomped off right after.“Lehua-yah! Wait, where are you going?” Jiwon shouted, but he didn’t chase her more than a couple of steps. “Don’t go too far! Oppa’ll come for you later!”Jaejin was stunned. The right side of his face stung. Somehow, he understood or, at least, felt what line he had crossed just by saying that before. Jiwon turned to him, unimpressed. For a brief moment, Jaejin expected that the man would yell at him again, but he held out a hand.“Come on, let’s sit for a bit and drink,” said Jiwon, unbelievably gentle.*****It was aching, everywhere. He could barely leave his bed this morning. Sometimes he wondered how he could survive all these years with incessant pain that never ceased like this. Jaeduk mourned alone by the shore, pitifully trying to douse himself in analgesic ointment again. He shouldn’t have agreed to go to the sea. It just made the pain stronger than before.“Jaeduk­-ah, are you all right?” Tony asked worriedly. He had been the one who initiated the plan, Tony, and the staffs were more than happy to oblige. Jaeduk didn’t want to be the party pooper, so he came along. Now that everyone had left except the two of them, Jaeduk began to feel it again.“I’ll be fine, Hyung. You should go, everyone’s waiting,” he said.“Are you sure you’re not coming home with us?” Tony asked. A total worrywart, but that was exactly why Jaeduk felt comfortable with him. He nodded and gave the other man a push on the back.“I’ll be back with Sunghoonie. He’s still swimming,” he replied.“Don’t stay too long. You don’t know when the pain will overwhelm you, right?”“Hyung,” Jaeduk intervened. “You’re going to be left behind.”“Okay, okay, see you at work, then,” said Tony, giving up. As he walked towards the parking lot, Jaeduk turned his eyes away.He sat on the bench, the only bench around probably, and fixated his gaze on the sea. The lights were slowly dying and darkness would come any minute now. The chilly wind bit into his joints, permeating through his skin—it was killing him gradually. He took out his ointment again, that he had hidden whenever Tony was around, and began to smear the cream over his knees and other joints. When the pain slightly ceased, he noticed that he wasn’t alone anymore on that bench.Lee Sooyoung was sitting next to him.“Oh, you’re here too?” Jaeduk asked, laughing. The girl stared at him as if she knew that he wasn’t fine just like he was trying to pose. His laugh stopped and the smile faded. The shadow double Jaeduk saw that day was still with her today. It was prominently conveying a worried look.“Is it obvious? Have you been here long?” Jaeduk asked quietly. Sooyoung nodded. He realized that the girl had nothing on her hands. Of course—he thought.“You don’t have notebooks with you?”But she scribbled on the sand. It read:“I didn’t need it.”“Sure.”—Jaeduk laughed—“Are you with, uh, Eun Jiwon?” She nodded. “Why are you here, though? Wouldn’t he be worried?” Sooyoung shifted her eyes down to her knees. She just stared at them quietly.“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Jaeduk said.Then, they just sat