[M] Nepenthe (1/1)

Nepenthe (n.) - something that can make you forget grief or suffering  A knock startles Kibum out of his trance and as quickly as he can he rushes back to the bed to grab one of his shirts to pull it on. He rubs a hand under his eyes to dry the few tears that had spilled and runs a hand through his hair. "Yes?" He calls."Are you alright?" A soft voice asks and Kibum tries and fails to keep himself from rolling his eyes. He walks over after finishing buttoning his shirt and opens the door. He had almost thought it would be the Prince behind the door, so when Jinki gives him a warm smile he is surprised. "I thought it was the Prince." Kibum mumbles as he smiles back. "He asked of me to check up on you. He mentioned you seemed....troubled last night." Jinki says as Kibum moves to the side to let him in. "Prince Jonghyun will always worry that I am troubled. You must not listen to his worries." Kibum says with a weak chuckle. "The storm tired me, and I admit I injured myself falling off Indomitus. But I am fine." Kibum says. "I have to admit we were all a little worried when you did not join us for breakfast." Jinki says as he sits down at the table. "I needed sleep more than nutritions." Kibum says, feeling a darkness brood in him for lying so much to the physician who is only trying to help. "I will walk to the kitchen and ask for the cooks to make me something." He says after a while to settle the physician's worried expression."Good." Jinki says and nods. "How are the children?" Kibum asks as he walks over and sits down, hiding the grimace at the pain in his back. "Nari was fine, she went home with her parents. Haneul woke up earlier this morning, and will return home soon as well." Jinki says. Kibum nods in relief. "Would you like to visit him?" Jinki asks, but Kibum just shakes his head."I should not. I erased Nari's memories, and she does not remember me. Haneul was not concious so he would neither." Kibum says with a sad smile. "Alright, I will return to my chamber." Jinki says and stands up. Kibum nods and follows him out as he heads to the kitchen. The sound and smells pull him in as he gets closer. "Kibum dear!" One of the cooks, shout happily when he enters. "It has been long since you came here." She says with a playful scolding voice."I came here 5 days ago." Kibum says with a small chuckle. "Exactly!" The cook says and Kibum can't help but laugh."Would you make me something to eat?" He asks, batting his eyelids in a cute way."Anything for our little hero!" She says. Kibum sighs slightly. "Riding out in a storm like this and saving two children, you should be knighted!" She exclaims."You are being dramatic." Kibum says as he glances down at his hands, pulling at the hem of his shirt, he knows his wounds are not visible under the dark green fabric, but he can't help but feel gittery and nervous that someone will find out. "Nonsense." The cook says, beginning to blabber on about heroes and bravery and the soldiers of this kingdom Kibum zones it out with a fond smile.   After eating he returns to his chambers. He doesn't have the strength to walk around or go outside, he can already feel it burning on his back by just turning around. Even the smallest movements hurt, and Kibum just wants to fall asleep again so he doesn't have to experience it. He closes the door, puffing out air as he walks over to his bed. He slowly lifts up his shirt, hissing everytime it makes contact with his back or his shoulders, and removes it. He throws it on the ground, before gently laying down on the bed. He turns his head to look out of the window. The storm is still here, meaning there's no point in going outside for a few days, and he can hear the rustling of the wind and the pouring of rain. All he wants to do is go to sleep, but when he finally relaxes enough, a thought strikes him. There is still one person that can enter his room at any time. He groans, pushing himself back up from the bed and dragging his feet to where he threw his shirt. If he can just find Taemin so he can say he's not feeling alright and that he just wants to sleep, maybe the elf won't enter his room. He hisses his way through putting the shirt back on, and walks back out into the hallway. Taemin has been spending a lot of time in the castle after Kwan's death, and even if he still shocks the maids with his beauty, he fits nicely in with his fair skin, pointy ears and barefeet. Kibum heads around the hallways, to the kitchen and to the library, not really knowing where Taemin spends his time when he's not with Kibum. He sighs when he walks down the stairs and heads to the throne room, hoping the King is not there at the moment. He peers in slowly, looking around the room in fear of meeting the Prince or the King. Unfortunately, both are in the room. So is Jinki, and Taemin. Kibum curses under his breath. He had hoped he wouldn't meet Jonghyun, knowing the prince will drown him in his worried questions. He takes a deep breath and enters. As he walks closer, he suddenly notices more people in the room. The pair of parents, and the two little children. Kibum stops, for a fleeting moment he wonders if he should turn around and leave again. But it's too late, Taemin has spotted him. "Kibum!" He says loudly, catching everyone's attention. He sees Jonghyun's eyes light up and the King smiling brightly. "Nari, this is the man that brought you home." The mother explains as Kibum stops infront of them. Nari is almost hidden in her mother's skirt, looking up neervously at him. Haneul is on her other side, not hidden, but still has a firm grasp on her skirt. "Hello." The girl says softly, bowing her head. "Hello." Kibum says back with a gentle smile. He turns to the boy, also giving him a smile. "Hello Haneul, how are you feeling?" He asks. "My throat itches." Haneul says with a pout, making Jinki chuckle. "The cold water from the lake gave him a cold. He should be fine in a few days." Jinki says. "We have to thank you again, we do not know what would have happened if you had not found our children." The mother says to Kibum, who glances down shyly. "We owe you so much." The father says. "No, you owe me nothing." Kibum says quickly. "As long as they are safe, that is enough." He says as he glances back down at Nari. The mother looks reluctant but eventually nods. "We should go home." The father says as he places his hand on the woman's shoulder. "You are welcome to stay at the castle while the storm is still here." The King says. "We live only a short walk from the castle, it will be alright. But thank you for your hospitality." The father says and bows. "Lets go children." He says. "Hyung?" Kibum looks down at Haneul, who's staring at him hesitantly."Yes?" Kibum says softly."Is your back okay?" It's such an innocent question, but Kibum freezes at what it means. There's a sudden silence in the throne room. The parents look confused at their boy and Kibum, while Kibum tries to calm his heart. He unconsciously touches his left arm where the lines move down to his elbow, the pain is still there but it's more of a numb feeling. "W-wha....I am fine." Kibum says with a slight stutter. Haneul nods softly. "Good." The boy says before tugging on his mother's skirt. The parents still look confused, but when Kibum doesn't say anything else they say goodbye before leaving. Once Nari and Haneul have left Kibum quickly turns to walk out, but is of course stopped by Jonghyun's hand. "Kibum, what did he mean? I thought Haneul was unconscious last night." The Prince asks with furrowed brows."He was!" Kibum says, more harshly then he meant. "I-I-I fell off Indomitus, he must have woken up and seen me in pain. I do not know!" Kibum tries to explain, pulling his arm back and moving to run away, but Taemin reaches out to hold him back. By placing his hand on Kibum's shoulder. Kibum cries out in pain, and falls to the ground. He feels a current run through him, reminding him of the pain of the lightning as it stabs through his body, shooting out of the wound from his back and sending Taemin flying back. "KIBUM!" Jonghyun shouts with shock as he moves closer. "No! Go away!" Kibum shouts as he clenches his eyes shut to hold back the tears. The Prince flinches at the harsh shout. "Kibum, what did you do? Are you alright?" Jinki asks as he looks between Kibum on the floor and Taemin attempting to sit up a few feet away."No, I am not." He mumbles, rising back up and turning to them. The tears are staining his cheeks now. "Kibum, tell me what's wrong!" Jonghyun says as he walks closer. "I am sorry." Kibum whispers, raising a trembling hand. "Obliviscor." He sees his eyes widen right before they unfocus. He can feel a brun in the wound as the spell is cast, but ignores it for an aftereffect caused by Taemin's touch. Quickly before the others can react he casts it on Jinki and the King too. When he turns to Taemin, he sees the tears and fear growing in his eyes, breaking his heart. He walks closer, raising his trembling hand again as he chokes back a sob. "Kibum, please..." Taemin says right before his eyes unfocus. Kibum holds his hand over his mouth to silence himself as he quickly turns and runs away.  Kibum can't stop the guilt from eating at him for erasing his friends' memories, but he just can't deal with the pity and worry and looks on their faces if they saw what really happened in the woods. If Jonghyun saw the scars....Kibum doesn't know if he would be horrified or disgusted. Either way, Kibum won't let them see it. He has no idea what happened when Taemin grabbed his shoulder. Ever since the incident he's had a feeling his magic has been changed. To what, he doesn't know, but it scares him.After hiding in his chamber for a while, trying to keep a building panic attack away, he dries his tears and decides he will find Taemin to figure out how much he erased. He knows it will hurt like hell to see him after he did the one thing he promised he would never do again. Taemin would never forgive him if he found out. The meer thought makes Kibum hate himself. He feels like a coward, like a monster and a horrible friend. He's used his powers to hide himself, taking advantage of them for his own selfish thoughts. He remembers the look on Taemin's face before he casted the spell. It's etched into his eyelids, taunting him every time he closes his eyes. "Hey Kibum." Said boy jumps in the air at the voice behind him, and quickly spins around to meet Taemin's smile. "You startled me." Kibum mumbles, looking down at the ground."Sorry." Taemin says with a cheeky smile. "So, what have you done today?" Kibum asks after clearing his throat, as he starts walking down the hallway. He hears Taemin's bare feet follow after him. "After breakfast I helped Jinki with Haneul, and then his parents came to bring him home. Then I may have taken a walk around the castle with Minho." Taemin says, and Kibum turns with a raised brow to look at him. "He gave me a tour." He says and looks down shyly."I have already given you a tour." Kibum says, his nerves and guilt momentarily forgotten as he teases his friend. "But he asked. I did not want to dissapoint." Taemin says, his fair cheek's now adorned with a rosy colour. "I am glad you have found someone you like, Taemin." Kibum says with a fond smile. "After what Jonghyun has told me, Minho is a very good man." He adds. "What have you done today? I did not see you at breakfast." Taemin asks after a while. Kibum looks forwards again, his brows furrowing as he fiddles with his hands. "I have not been well." Kibum starts. "I must say the storm tired me, and I have been in bed all day." He explains, trying to sound normal as he says it. If there is one thing Kibum hates, it's lying to his friends. Lying to a stranger is another thing. Being a traveler means often lying about his name or his work, and that is why Kibum hates lying to friends. Because he is good at it. Because they won't notice. "Should I ask Jinki if he can help? Are you nauseous? Maybe you should not walk around. The castle is cold because of the storm, you should wear more garments." Taemin asks with a frown. "You remind me of the Prince." Kibum says with a weak chuckle. "Rambling on in worry. I am fine, I feel better after sleeping." Kibum says and sighs."Oh. Would you like to join us for dinner then?" Taemin asks. "The King has asked for you. He would still like to thank you for rescuing the children." "I will, though I hope there will not be another feast in my honour. One is enough for a lifetime." Kibum says as he follows Taemin to the dining room. Though he is nervous, he hides it with a tired smile as he enters, immidiately meeting the eyes of the Prince. He looks away, glancing down at the hem of his shirt which is falling apart because he keep pulling at the strings. He silently sits down, knowing by the goosebumps on his neck that the Prince is still watching him. "Delightful to see you Kibum, I heard you were not feeling well this morning?" Kibum finally looks up when Jaejoong addresses him. His brows raise in confusion before he remembers Jinki stopping by his chamber. "Yes, but I feel better now." He answers shortly. "I am glad to hear that. I do feel I must thank you properly for saving both Haneul and Nari last night. If I had known it would take that long to recover them I would have asked my soldiers to accompany you. I hope you were not injured too much." The King says."I simply did my duty, your Highness." Kibum says softly."Ever since my son helped your horse calm down and you came to my kingdom you have been a blessing. Though your humbleness is welcoming, you should not belittle your actions." The King says. "Of course, your Highness." Kibum answers, a blush rising to his cheeks. "Now, as I am aware of your contribution to this kingdom, I would like the kingdom to be aware as well. The annual summer solstice ball is nearing, I would very much like for you to join as an honour guest." The King says with a big smile. "No, your Highness, I am not worthy of that." Kibum says with wide eyes as he shakes his head. "That is not true." Kibum turns to the Prince as this is the first time he's heard him talk since Kibum came down. There's a slight frown on his face. "You are worth thousands of balls." The Prince mutters sourly. "Though my son may be a bit dramatic, I agree." Jaejoong says with an amused chuckle. "The ball will be held in a month, I assure you, you will enjoy it." He adds to Kibum. The latter nods before resuming to pick at the food on his plate. The others around him carry conversations right over his head, and Kibum merely nods or hums in affirmative if they adress him. When he has eaten enough he pushes his chair back. "May I be excused?" Kibum asks the King. "Yes." Jaejoong answers. "Are you alright?" Jinki asks, glancing from the almost full plate to Kibum's tense expression."I am simply tired. No need to worry." Kibum says, his voice monotone, but he is really starting to hate that question. It only reminds him that he really isn't okay, that his friends don't know he's a liar, or a monster. He stands up and turns, hesitating for only a second before he reaches out to place his hand on Jonghyun's shoulder beside him. He clenches it softly, only a slight press, but it's enough for Jonghyun to slouch a little in his seat as he sighs. Kibum knows the Prince is worried for him. Ever since the day he arrived he knew Jonghyun understood him more than Kibum would have liked. Jonghyun can sense something's wrong.   After a few days, Kibum's wound begins to heal. It still looks horrid in the mirror, the burnt skin and black mark still making him nauseous. He has settled for wrapping a bandage around it, to keep it from rubbing at his shirt, and also to keep it from opening. He had managed to rip it open only a few days ago when Taemin had tackled him to the ground. Though he was able to mask the pain on his face and say it was from the fall, he had to escape to his room to change the bandages that were dripping blood. He sighs as he pulls the white bandage over his shoulder, under his arm and over his chest. For some reason, the lightning marks that spreads from the wounds have now turned darker. He had researched his books for any kinds of injuries that were similar to his own, but from what he has read, his are not ordinary. They look almost tribal as they stretch down his arm and over his shoulder to his heart. Kibum would have thought they looked beautiful, if not for the pain he felt when he got them. WWhat makes him confused is how the lightning affected his powers. The only time he's used it after that day was when he erased his friends' and the King's memories. He sighs, tying the bandage tightly before he stares at himself in the mirror. He holds out his hands, cupping them together and closing his eyes as he raises them to his lips. "Creo flos." He whispers gently, hissing when he feels a sting ripple through the marks on his back and shoulder. Like a burn that makes his eyes sting, but he feels the small blossom bloom in his hands, and he opens the to let it flourish in the light. It's small, with white petals dipped in black. Kibum has never seen the flower before, guessing it came out of his imagination. He places it on the table, letting out a sigh as the pain ebbs out. It leaves him confused, wondering if this is going to be his life. That he has power to create anything in the world, to control elements, yet it hurts him everytime he uses it. A knock startles him out of his thoughts. "Give me a moment." Kibum shouts as he reaches for a shirt to cover his bandages. He buttons it before heading to the door. "Yes?" He asks, staring at the maid that stands before him, twiddling her fingers in her hair nervously."The Prince has asked of you to join him in the gardens, since the storm has passed." The maid says softly."Why did he not ask me himself?" Kibum mumbles to himself. "Thank you." He mutters to the maid with a polite smile. He closes the door, takes a breath as his eyes land on the lonely flower on his table. He brings it into his hand and slowly runs his thumb over one of the petals. He keeps it in his hand as he walks out and heads to the gardens.He must admit, he's missed the gardens and the stable and his stallion. He's missed the sunlight kissing his skin and the wind blowing through his hair. He's missed the feeling of the grass under his feet, between his fingertips. When he reaches the entrance and opens the door he takes a deep breath. It's still smells of rain, and he sees puddles around the road as he walks the path to where he's spent many days basking in the sun, talking with the Prince and looked at the stars with Taemin. When he reaches their place, he feels the happiness slowly fade away, as he glances nervously at the Prince's back seated on the ground. He must have just returned from training, as he's only wearing slacks and a thin white shirt. His hair is messy, as if he's constantly dragged his fingers through it, and there's a tension in his shoulders that Kibum wishes he could smooth out. He silently drags his feet closer, nipping at his bottom lip as he waits for the prince to notice his presence. He sits down, stealing glances as he sees Jonghyun sit up straight. "Hello." Kibum says softly, afraid to break the comfortable silence in the garden. "How are you feeling?" Jonghyun asks, still glancing at the grass infront of him. "Fine. Are you well?" Kibum asks, looking at the frown on his face. "Yes." Jonghyun answers, but lets out a sigh shortly after. "No." He admits. "Are you injured? Would you like me to heal you?" Kibum asks, his eye sraking over the Prince's body in search of any wounds. "It is not that. I am merely....afflicted? Perplexed? Distressed perhaps. I do not know. Something is eating at me. It has been for a while." The Prince says, and Kibum looks at him with furrowed brows. "Are you...." Jonghyun starts as he turns slightly so their eyes meet. Kibum notices it now, the dark circles under Jonghyun's eyes. "Are you unhappy?" The question startles Kibum, he hadn't seen it coming at all. "What?" Kibum asks in confusion. "Are you leaving?" Jonghyun now breaks eyecontact and looks down, his voice fading out. "What?!" Kibum asks in louder. This is absurd. "Where are you getting these ideas? Why do you think that?" Kibum asks, feeling lost. "Your eyes." Jonghyun just mumbles."My....eyes?" Kibum says as he deflates, staring uneasily at how Jonghyun almost trembles when he grabs at the grass, pulling out strands and throwing them away. "There is no happiness in them. Your smile never reaches your eyes. I thought perhaps.....since you were a traveler, that you were simply tired of this place." Jonghyun mumbles.The words hit like rocks, leaving him breathless and the guilt that has been building inside him only grows ten times more. He knows he hasn't been the same. He has eaten with them, joined Taemin as they watched the soldiers spar, he has joined Jonghyun and Minho to the village. But he had thought he had masked his problems, that he had hidden them.Kibum lets out a hollow chuckle. "It is almost frightening how well you can read my feelings." Kibum says softly. Jonghyun looks at him with a panicked expression, but Kibum startles him as he raises his hands to cup the Prince's face. "Jonghyun." Kibum says seriously. "This is my home. I will not grow tired of it." He says softly, staring into Jonghyun's brown orbs that goes from panicked to confused to relieved. "Yes, I have felt unhappy, but it has never been because of you, or the kingdom, or anyone other than myself." He continues.Though Kibum has no more to say, he keeps his hands on the Prince's cheeks, his thumbs softly tracing his cheekbones as he stares at his eyes, his bushy eyebrows, his nose, to his cherry lips. Those lips that turn into the most beautiful smiles, that can light up the whole throne room, that brings happiness to everyone, that can calm Kibum from his panic attacks, that can leave him breathless. Needless to say, Kibum has not only been falling. Kibum has fallen, tumbled, dived, ran, hurled, jumped and thrown himself in love with the young prince. And now that he has reached the bottom, he is terrified of what will happen. But as long as Jonghyun never stops smiling. Kibum will suffice. "Uhm, am I interrupting something?" Kibum shrieks and jumps back when Taemin suddenly appears hovering over them, a wivked smile on his face.Kibum curses the day he became friends with the elf.  Lol, wanted to end it on a little happier note today. Wow, I've been writing none stop these past few days. This has got to be one of my favorite fics, alongside "Afraid to see myself break"!  I really hope you liked this chapter! Please please please leave a comment below to let me know what you think! Your comments are really making me swoon sometimes. And I swear, sometimes they are really what makes my day!! I love all of you so so so soooo much <3 On a sidenote: look at this adorable puppy. Jesus Christ!!  Names and Incantations:Obliviscor - to forgetCreo flos - Create flower  Thanks byechu~~