Goodbye For Now... (1/2)

<b style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">After much vehement protest from his former swim team members, Kai is still fully dressed and sitting with his elbows on his knees on the familiar metal bench. He’s laughing with the members waiting for their turn as he spots his boyfriend getting into position. Kyungsoo takes a few deep breaths, feeling jittery on the platform. Kyungsoo...? His eyes are filled with worry as he sees him shift uncomfortably.

The whistle blows and he notices Kyungsoo starting just a tad too late. His strokes are messy and uncoordinated as he fumbles through the water, finishing far behind the other members. The rest of practice progresses in the same way and the other members are uneasy, noticing Kyungsoo’s subpar performance, as they’re heading off to the locker rooms.

In the locker room, Kai’s leaning against the smooth white wall as he stares at his sunbae with a blank expression. Not wanting the other members to bother him, he pulls out his earbuds and sticks them into his ears but no sound escapes them.

Only a couple members are lingering when he pulls out his earbuds and calls, “Who’s in charge of locking up today?”

“Oh, I am,” Chen answers from a few feet away as he pulls his shirt over his head.

“I want to talk to Kyungsoo for a while. Is it okay if I use this place?”

With a suspicious glance at his friend, Chen pulls out the small key ring and hands it to Kai. “I’ll leave it to you, then.”

Kyungsoo goes about his business, ignoring the situation. On their way out, the other members start whispering amongst themselves.

“Calling him out like that... I wonder what it’s about?”

“Wouldn’t it be a scolding? That guy had a hard time today.”

Kai hits them playfully on the heads with his fist. “Don’t read too much into it.”

<b style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">They’re alone now, the air smelling faintly of chlorine and soap. A tangible silence passes over them as they’re both standing but facing different directions.

“What happened?” Kai finally asks. “Today you were all over the place. I’m worried.”

Noticing the silence, he looks over at his sunbae to find him still staring in the other direction, unmoving. He suddenly realizes what day it is. He’s... kind of distant? Perhaps this... this could be the break up already... His eyes shoot to the analog clock ticking on the wall. It’s almost 5...

He recalls his friends’ words and his heart throbs painfully, knots winding themselves in his stomach queasily.

At the end of the week, he’ll tell his partner exactly this: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.

I couldn’t fall in love with you... so harsh... he thinks solemnly, a cold sweat starting to prickle his body.

“I should be all over the place...” Kyungsoo breaks the silence quietly. “I wasn’t thinking about swimming at all. My head was full of other things.”

Kai skims through his memory trying to think of what could possibly be bothering Kyungsoo. Again, he could only come up with one person who could make him feel this way.

“That person... did something happen with Luhan?” he mutters softly.

“Why are you bringing up Luhan?” he inquires, confused about how the two things were related in any way.

“Why? The pattern until now...”

Kyungsoo approaches the younger boy now with firm steps. “When did I ever think about Luhan when I’m with you?”

“..Kyungsoo..?”

The other boy looks away, an unreadable expression on his face. “Why don’t we leave this place? I have something I want to tell you properly.”

He realizes that the break up is coming and tries to prepare himself for it but the various emotions he’s feeling keep interrupting his thoughts. <b style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Kai grasps the side of the bridge upon which they shared their first kiss and reminisces about it briefly. Is he always so formal whenever he breaks up...? He lets his thoughts drown out the world, a dark atmosphere between them.

“Kai?”

“Uwaah!” Shaken, he tries to calm his rapidly beating heart. “I--I was distracted.”

Kyungsoo lets out a gentle chuckle and his face is suddenly soft but it’s gone in a flash. He looks up into his boyfriend’s eyes, his face hard and incomprehensible now.

“Tomorrow... From tomorrow on, I still want to go home together with you, Kai... go out occasionally... just once in a while is fine. I--”

“That--” he interrupts rigidly. “is troublesome.” Kyungsoo’s hurt is apparent on his face as he listens to him continue, “I’m not willing to have that sort of compromise with you.”

Sadness and pain are coloring the older boy as he thinks of how Kai had ruthlessly ripped up the movie passes. “Then yesterday... also had that meaning...”