Vernon Singing (1/1)

Warning: major flangst/meta below.  “You should do it.”“Do what?” “Go to vocal lessons, duh.”Vernon looked up from his laptop, wondering if his girlfriend was going absolutely crazy. From the way she was so tranquil, watching the vocal line from the plexiglass window, it definitely wasn’t a sarcastic suggestion. The studio itself was already in full swing, with Jihoon doing most of the directing as he stood in front of the other four. Hoshi was there as well, leading the performance unit in the back. They had just started, and at the moment it was just simple scales but their tones still complimented each other well. He replied with an automatic “nah” and promptly slipped his headphones on. It’s been a running gag between him and the fans, him being the tragically fated off-key rapper who wanted to sing. But it never was his intention for it to be so. He liked to sing, sure it was funny when his voice cracked one-hundred percent of the time, and maybe he wasn’t entirely serious in front of the camera, but he liked singing. It just so happened that his girlfriend has a thing for vocalists. “But you like singing.” she tried again. “I know I do.” he said coolly, fiddling with his music program. “But my voice is too good for this planet, I’m on another level.”From the sound room, Jeonghan belted out a scale in a key so high that the heavens could sing back a reply.“Sublevel.” she muttered under her breath. “Heard that.” he glowered. “Babe, they’ve been training me for three years. It only took three days  to realize that I’m hopeless.” “You’re not hopeless.” she assured. “Doesn’t mean you can’t work on something new. Think of it as your next project.”“But my range is really narrow.” he rebutted. “That’s not an excuse.” she chided, “Isn’t there a saying somewhere in the industry? If you’re predisposed to not getting lines, you’re predisposed not to practice, and you’ll be forever stuck in a loop of because you didn’t bother improving.” “I’m sorry, mom.” he ripped off his earphones, dropping them roughly around his neck. “I didn’t know you knew more about singing than my company.” She flinched at the sudden snap, her brows furrowed together in confusion and something else. “I’m not asking you to be a vocalist or anything—”“If you really want someone to serenade you, maybe you should’ve dated a singer.” and before he could realize how far he had gone, the door opened, and Mingyu stepped in, jerking a finger back into the practice room.“I gotta go.” he said curtly, messily packing up his things before disappearing with his bandmate to the other side of the building.The practice room was virtually empty, with only Wonwoo and and Seungcheol sitting next to each other on the floor. The only other non-vocal members, he thought absently as they formed a square, with their music drafts piled in the middle. It was hard to believe they all entered as vocalists all those years before. Hell, Seungcheol was originally supposed to be a vocalist, and Wonwoo and Mingyu both had a deep baritone that was actually stable. He didn’t understand why he was suddenly feeling this way, he loves his members to death. But deep down, there probably was a little part of him itching to sing. Whenever Jihoon rearranged the line distribution to fit each member, his face would for once relax with satisfaction. When Seungkwan would try, try really hard to hit that high note no matter how much it pained him, it sounded amazing when he finally got it. Seokmin’s falsettos came so naturally to him, and he was envious of the ability to reach that high. Singers dominated the industry. What did rappers get? Scratch that, what did idol rappers get? “Hip-hop unit? More like handsome unit.” Trashy, new-age excuse for singing. Talking really really fast with senseless lyrics. He couldn’t even compete with actual rappers. “Everything okay?” Seungcheol asked, concerned. “Yeah.” he said quickly, forcing a small smile. “I’m just stressed with the writing, that’s all.” Their leader accepted the excuse for now, since there were deadlines to fulfill and not nearly enough time. He zoned in and out of conversation for the first half, and it was surprisingly okay since Wonwoo was on a roll with the lyrics. His eyes zeroed in a random spot in the corner of the room, and once his eyes focused he realized he was staring at a familiar mint green sweater hanging on the wall. It was his girlfriend’s, who probably left it there when she came in today. Feeling the guilt churn in his stomach like lard, he sighed. He just potentially ruined a lot of things between them today. He had to apologize, somehow.

He found her inside the sound room after their unit meetings, where her and Hoshi were going over lines on a laptop. They were so engrossed they didn’t even notice him slipping in, and she pointed at the screen, clutching the headphones tighter around her ears. “Wow, I really love this song.” she exhaled, giving everyone left in the room a thumbs up. Hoshi poked her in the shoulder, causing her to look up and take off her headphones. “Boyfriend alert.” he sang, gesturing to Vernon, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. She handed the headphones back to Hoshi and got up, standing in front of the doorway so they were face to face. “Hey.” she said shortly, her face unreadable. If she wasn’t going to move, that means he was totally dead. Totally dead in front of all his bandmates. Sweat perspired at his neck. “Hey.” he said, a little too nonchalant for comfort. “Listen, about before—” “Don’t worry about it.” and she reached up to quickly peck his cheek. The other members whooped like a bunch of proud older brothers, completely oblivious. God, he really didn’t deserve her. “I gotta go home.”Curse his inability to recover in uncomfortable situations. “Your jacket.” he managed to cough out, holding out her sweater. “Thanks.” she smiled tightly, her eyes not reaching his as she tried to shuffle out of the room. “Text me so I know you got back safe?” he tried, feeling the stare of at least five other members on his back. “Of course.” and she smiled again, leaning against the second doorframe, and he couldn’t tell whether his stomach was turning from sickness or butterflies. The rest of the members filed out, clapping his back and teasing him. He didn’t move until Jihoon was the only one left in the room, clearing out things on his computer and saving whatever files he needed for later. Jihoon eyed him warily, and Vernon felt his mouth grow dry at his hyung’s already growing anticipation. “What song was that?” he asked casually, picking up the stray papers left on the desk. “A new ballad.” Jihoon shrugged, packing up his things. “Slow and heavy and full of power notes. All the like.” he looked up Vernon, giving a hard glare in return. “No.” he said automatically.“You don’t even know what I want.” he half-whined. “No rapping in this one.” “I don’t want to rap in it, I want to sing in it.” Jihoon stared at him, really stared at him. A huge grin split his face, and he laughed, one of those self-deprecating ones that were supposed to break him down, but he couldn’t, not anymore. He needed to try. “Are you serious?” he spluttered. “I’m dead serious.” he promised, clutching the papers so hard between his knuckles that the pages were starting to crinkle in protest. “I’ll come to vocal practices, all of them. And I’ll even practice in the dorm. You don’t even have to give me a big part, I can be backup for all I care. And if you need to teach me the basics, I’ll do your chores this week. Just let me try.” Raising an eyebrow, Jihoon leaned against the desk, folding his arms. “You’re not doing this to impress her, are you?” “No.” he said automatically. “It’s more than that, it’s for me. I want to see how far I can go.” Jihoon gave him one of those small, secretive smiles only reserved for special occasions. It wasn’t the usual evil, cynical smile, it was a reflection of pride. “Keep those papers, then. We’ll start tonight.”   (a/n) I have a feeling that Hansol probably doesn’t feel this way to be honest, and he'll definitely improve with time. I think he’s pretty capable (probably on par with Jun/The8), and while his singing voice may be average at best, he is happy (at least now) in his own skin and his talents. I do believe he probably feels a little envious of the other member’s singing capabilities from time to time, because who doesn’t? But honestly imo his singing voice gives me butterflies, he even sounds like he’s rapping in his singing voice haha.