Chapter I. (1/1)

Chapter I.- Im not a good man.

- No one is.Don’t say that the sun will rise tomorrow

Because it will be a darker morning than a night with you

Don’t say that the ground hardens after the rain

Because it will be a relief that is more frustrating than our worries/ Tablo – Tomorrow (ft. Taeyang of BIGBANG)/  Cold rain dropping on my face. My pulse drumming in my ears. It’s starting to pour heavier as the people surronding me are hurriedly searching for their shelter. The street soon became empty, only the  raindrops whispering sound is all I can hear. The phone in my hand is slowly slinding down until it hits the ground with a splash. I stand there frozen.My knees give up and I drop down on the dank ground. I can still hear voices coming out of the speaker but I can’t process them anymore. It feels like as if I’m dreaming. The dream where you get chased by a monster and you try to run away but eventually you have no control over your body anymore. The fear I feel is slowly consuming me up. I suddenly feel a warm hand on my shoulder gently squeezing it.- Are you alright honey? – I stare up blankly at the old woman. The picture of her smiling face is slowly blurring up in front of me. All of a sudden I grab my shirt clenching my fist. My heart is beating way too fast I can’t breath anymore. As my grip turns tighter I give in to the darkness… *                 Smell of bleach and canteen food is waking me up. I slowly open my eyes but I close them right away. The brightness hits my head and it starts to pulsate steadily. Despite the srong pain I open them once again. Bright white is fading away revealing a well lighted ceiling. I must be in a hospital.My memories are slowly flowing back…I was heading home after work when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I looked at the screen but the numner was unknown. I picked it up anyways…- Yes?- Am I speaking with Lee Seung-hyun? – The voice of a man hit my ears… It was somehow familiar but at that moment I coudn’t put it anywhere.- Yes, who am I speaking with?I was waiting for him to answer but all I heard was a deep sigh. After a few tense moment he finally spoke.- I’m Kim Hyun-tae from the Seoul Police Department. - Right, that’s the place where my wife works. I met the guy a few times before. I wonder why is her co-worker calling. - What I have to tell you will be tremendous, please be strong… Lee Hyo-rin got shot today. She didn’t survive. There was a -This moment was the one where I lost my conciousness. I slowly sit up in the bed and I’m looking down at my hands. They are shaking… I see drops of water falling down on them. I touch my cheek with one of my hand… It comes away wet. My tears are falling incessantly.I can’t believe it… This can’t happen to me, to us. There is a big knot in my throat. I bury my head int he pillow and I start to sob fiercely.I have no idea how could this have happened to me. * The next few weeks passed like the flash of lightning. Hyo-rins parents have already made the funeral arrangements... I was not able to participate.All in my whole life I always wanted to get away from here. To travel to another world, to run away from the people, to discover something new. I thought that this life was lacking something. But my mind changed after I met her.She always said „..But there is no place like this world. It’s beauiful becouse you never know what will happen. Each passing day is a gift to live.”People say when something bad happens everything around you stops. But it’s not true. Everything is the same as it used to be. The flowers are blooming the birds are flying the farmer are going to the market. Nothing stopped.I just forgot to live in the moment. I think I already forgot to live at all.Her funeral will be held tomorrow morning. I still can’t adapt to the idea that she is dead. But one thing occurs to me. She was murdered. It was not an accident. Someone had killed her with a cause… I can’t remember she having any enemies.I also didn’t get her autospy record yet, what I find suspicious. I have no clue what is going on but I’m going to move every rock to find out who and why killed her. Takes whatever it takes. I owe her that much.I’m done with my grieveing. Finding out the truth is all I focus on from now on. * I do believe in God. I always used to be. I believe that everything happens just like he planned it. And every good and bad things in our lives have a meaning. It can take some time to realize what was it but eventually these things always turn out that they happend for a reason.Im heading to the church. The wind is chilly. I pull my jacket closer. I’m going to freeze here while Jiyong is having fun in Europe. He promised that he would help me but he still went on his holiday. What a friend. I hope he burns to hell.Joke aside I feel really strange as I’m getting closer to the entrance. Passing through the door I find myself in the narthex. I look up at the wooden hammer beams. They never ceases to amaze me.As I keep looking aroundMy gaze is lingering on him. I can’t take my eyes off of him. He is tall and well-built. I can’t say that I have ever seen any man who was more beautiful than he is. He is gently smiling at the woman he is speaking with. As soon as she takes her leave his gaze catches mine. It feels like as if it’s piercing through my soul.His eyes are breathtaking… But there is also something frightening about them. They are dark and filled with something I can’t put anywhere. I find myself staring for too long. I suddenly avert my gaze. I look down at my feet. I think I migh be blushing. What the hell was I doing staring at a man for so long?!It makes me feel really uncomfortable. But I can’t stop… I look at him once again and I take a step toward him.He keeps looking at me but he wouldn’t move. I know it’s getting late but I have to talk to him. When I reached him he lifted one of his eyebrows and smiled at me. Or rather smirked… Or is it just my imagiation.Suddenly I have no idea what to say. What did I wanted at all?!- Can I help you my son? – His voice is so soothing. Deep in a pleasant way but still gentle. He is even more beautiful from this distance…