chapter five (1/1)

Kris knows what people think of him. He's not stupid or unobservant. He knows people find him intimidating, what with his impressive height, shockingly bleached blond hair, and naturally stern face. He knows they see him as standoffish and cold, and perhaps he sometimes is. But when it comes down to it, he's kind of a loser, and he knows it. Not necessarily in the traditional sense; he's just not exactly the epitome of cool. He likes to think he's good at pretending to be, though. In all honesty, he'd much rather kick back and watch children's cartoons than the newest sexy HBO show, and he's kind of a stickler for eating healthy. For reasons he can't quite understand, people seem to think people who eat healthy don't know how to have fun. His friends understand him though, or at the very least pretend to. It's all he can ask for, really. As much as his friends exasperate him, they put up with his shit, his subpar social skills, so he returns the favor. Sometimes they're not so bad.“Are you even listening to me?”Kris was startled out of his thoughts by the gentle elbow to his side, and focused on Chanyeol's miffed expression beside him. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “I was telling you about the amazing underwater fortress I built in Minecraft last night, and you totally tuned me out!” “Sorry... Wait, didn't you make that last week?” Video games were all Chanyeol and Kai seemed to know how to talk about. Sometimes he wished he understood. Sometimes he just wished they'd talk about something else.The other sighed and rolled his eyes again. “That one didn't have a huge fucking atrium complete with oak trees, a treehouse, and a huge ass waterfall!”“Ah. I thought the point of that game was to kill zombies or some shit?”“Building shit's more fun. Anyway, I'm starved. We should get something to eat.” They stopped walking, and Kris realized they were outside now. He'd totally blanked out. He'd had a few late nights, and it seemed they were catching up to him. “Pizza?”Now it was Kris's turn to sigh. “No, we have to go somewhere where I actually have healthy options.” Pizza with vegetables doesn't count as healthy.“You can put vegetables on your pizza. Bam! Healthy!”Kris's phone vibrated in his pocket, pausing what he'd been about to say. He was kind of in the mood for real Chinese food, but Chanyeol had been going on and on for the past week about how he was dying for pizza. It was going to be a fight to get him to agree to anything else. From: Taozi

To: Kris

whenever you're going to come back to the room, could you please bring me some food? Kris frowned.“Who is it?” Chanyeol asked, having seen Kris's face harden.“Tao.”“What, is he begging you to buy him gourmet cake again?”“Actually, no. I think I have to go,” Kris said, shoving his phone back into his pocket without texting back. “I'll see you later.”“Okay...”Kris tried to tell himself he was overreacting as he practically sprinted back to his dorm. But the thing was, Tao was fairly consistent. And that text was very out of character for Tao. He let himself in, walking straight into Tao's room without knocking first. The younger boy lay prone on his bed, shirtless and still. “Gege?” Tao mumbled, trying to look back at him without moving his head. Kris moved forward, kneeling beside the bed so Tao didn't have to strain to look at him. “Did you get my text?”“What's wrong?”“How did you know something was wrong?” Kris couldn't help but notice the moisture in the younger boy's eyes as he stared at him.“You asked politely.”“I'm not that bad,” Tao insisted stubbornly.“We'll agree to disagree. Now tell me what's wrong, Taozi.”Tao sighed. “I was practicing, and I guess I was distracted. I didn't quite land the move.”“You're hurt? Is it your back?” Kris gently laid a hand on Tao's waist, and Tao winced. “Yeah. It hurts to move. I barely got back here, and someone had to help me.”“You asked me to bring you food, so I guess you're hungry? Do you want me to make you something?”“Please?”“Okay, just try to relax.” He moved to stand, but paused when he noticed the box of pain patches on the floor. “Did you use these?”“I tried to do it myself. I didn't get very far.”Without a word, Kris picked up the box and applied three strips to the areas that were already beginning to purple. When he was done, he set the box on the nightstand and left to prepare food. Cooking for Tao was somewhat of an easy thing. He wasn't terribly picky for the most part, and he, too, kept to a healthier diet than most. Kris didn't like to admit it, but he wasn't very good at cooking Chinese food, so it was a good thing that Tao seemed to really enjoy the Western food that he made. He returned ten minutes later with a plate of food. There was a bowl of tomato bisque, and beside it sat a grilled cheese sandwich. Tao had really taken a liking to the things. Cheese on bread was hardly a healthy choice, but Kris figured if there was ever a time for comfort food, this was it.“It smells really good,” Tao murmured with his cheek smushed into the mattress.“You're going to have to sit up,” Kris told him as he set the plate down on the nightstand. He reached out and began helping Tao move into a sitting position. They both ignored the tears that had trailed down the other's cheek by the time they were done. Tao swiped at the moisture on his face, avoiding meeting Kris's gaze as he took the offered food.“Thanks. I know you probably have better things to do than look after me.” Tao took a bite of his sandwich, still averting his gaze.Kris sighed. “I prefer you when you're being an insufferable brat rather than this pathetic mess.”“Hey!”“I'm serious,” he said with a smile. “We've been best friends for how many years now? I really hate when you get hurt. You've got to be more careful, okay?”“I will. I was just... distracted.”“Is something bothering you?”Tao started to shrug but stopped when the movement caused him more pain. “It's nothing.”“Are you sure? You've been kind of distant lately.”Tao couldn't help the sharp bark of laughter that erupted from his mouth at that. “What?” Kris's brow knit.“It's kind of funny, I was thinking the same about you.”Kris sobered immediately and gave no reply. In all honesty, he had been dealing with some things lately, but it wasn't anything he planned on telling Tao about. It was dumb, and there was no need to burden the younger with his problems. He was saved from having to answer by a knock on the outer door and couldn't help but sigh in relief. Tao busied himself with eating and Kris was grateful to be let off the hook, for now, as he left the room to see who it was. The door was barely open a foot when Lay slipped in and shut it behind him. He smiled up at Kris, an angelic expression that had the taller narrowing his eyes. “I'll be quiet,” Lay whispered with a finger to his lips. “Promise.”“What are you doing here?” Kris deadpanned.“I just want to hang out. Something smells good.” He walked past Kris and into Tao's room, where the younger boy was still eating—and apparently struggling to get the soup from the bowl to his mouth without dripping it on himself. Tao looked up when Lay came in and watched as he sat down on the floor. “Don't bother Tao,” Kris ordered from the other room.“I'm not,” Lay replied, and then whispered to Tao, “Can I have some?” Tao merely frowned at him and continued eating, his body language firmly declaring My food. Lay pouted but said nothing.Kris busied himself in his own room, straightening up a bit. It helped distract him from his thoughts, and the fact that Tao was apparently more perceptive than he'd given credit for. Honestly, he didn't like the growing distance that had developed between him and his childhood friend, but what could he do? This was young, sensitive, impressionable Taozi. The boy who shrieked and ran and cried at the sight of bugs, who cried during sad movies, who cried that one time they'd gone to a haunted house as kids and had been too terrified to ever return. There was no way Kris was going to share his burdens with the younger boy. He had to be capable, put together. He had to be strong. For Tao.Kris nearly dropped the glass he'd been holding when someone started pounding on the outer door. He set it down on his dresser and headed to the door. With a glance, he confirmed Lay was still sitting in Tao's room, though they didn't seem to be conversing. Weird. He swung the door open to reveal Sehun and behind him the familiar honeyed locks belonging to Luhan. Great.“Hey loser,” Luhan quipped.“What do you want,” Kris droned.“Is Tao here?” Sehun asked.He sighed and moved aside to let Sehun past, and Luhan slipped through before he could stop him. With another sigh, Kris merely shut the door and followed Sehun into Tao's room. Obviously curious, Luhan followed. “This is why you had to cancel our plans for tonight?” Sehun balked as soon as he stepped into the room. “Too busy having dinner in bed? You're such a tool!”“Are you done?” Kris asked Tao, moving to his side.Tao mumbled an affirmative, glaring up at Sehun, who in turn, made obnoxious faces to provoke him. Kris took the dishes away, tossing them into the sink to deal with later.“Do you want to lie back down?” Kris asked when he returned to the room.“Yeah. Please.”The others watched wordlessly as Kris helped Tao change position. It was clear from the pinched expression on Tao's face that he was in a great deal of pain. “I think we should get you checked out, Taozi.”“No, no. I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've hurt myself,” Tao muttered, his smile appearing more like a grimace. “It'll get better.”“You know it doesn't matter if this is the first time.” “I don't want to go.”Kris was silent a moment, contemplating. “Okay,” he finally relented, “but if there's no improvement by tomorrow morning, we're going to Health Services. Okay?”“Fine.”“I don't know how I didn't think of this before,” Sehun said suddenly, eyes widening dramatically, and sank down into the chair against the wall.“What?”“Faking injury to get special attention! It's genius!”Tao rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because you don't get spoiled enough as it is.”“You're one to talk.”During their exchange, Kris had noticed Luhan and Lay giggling about something on Luhan's phone. “What are you two looking at?” he asked.Snickering, Luhan turned the phone around to reveal the picture he'd just taken of Kris helping Tao, Kris looking very motherly and concerned. “Look how cute! All doting and protective! We don't see this side of you very often,” Luhan told him.“Delete it.” He reached forward to grab the phone, but Luhan was quicker.“Nope. Too valuable. Anyway, it's already been sent to Lay's phone, and my e-mail, and his e-mail, and my cloud, and lots of other places. It's also on our instagrams. And you know once it's on the internet, you can't take it back.”“...So anyway, then I had to hide in there for like two hours,” Sehun was in the middle of telling Tao about something that had happened the day before. “It was horrible. And someone knocked, so I had to change my voice and tell them that due to a very unfortunate freak accident, I wouldn't be able to come out for a while, so they should move along. I seriously thought I was going to die...”“I'm serious,” Kris said sternly. “Delete it. Why are you two here anyway? Don't you have another rom-com date night you should be on with Kai or something?” Kris directed the last to Lay.“You're just jealous because you weren't invited,” Lay retorted.Luhan snorted. “And don't even think I haven't seen your Netflix history,” he said.“Ge?” Everyone turned their attention to Tao when he spoke.“Yeah?” Kris asked.“I'm tired,” he said simply.“Okay, everyone out. Go somewhere else.” Kris ushered them all out, giving a reluctant Luhan an extra shove for good measure. When he returned to the room, Tao's eyes followed him as he sank down into the black suede chair against the wall. They were both silent for a few minutes, and Kris took the moment to really look at his friend. Sometimes it still managed to surprise him just how much Tao had grown up over the years.Tao's dark eyes watched him back, peering through a ruffled fringe of ebony. He grinned that impish grin of his, though the corners of his eyes still held that pained tightness, and Kris couldn't help the smile that formed in response. “Don't leave me,” Tao whispered.“I won't,” Kris replied softly. Tao was quiet a moment before he asked, “Did Kai set you up on that date yet?”Kris frowned. “How do you know about that?”“Baekhyun told me. He said Kai was gonna find you and Chanyeol girlfriends.” His smile was tight as he spoke, more a grimace than anything. Kris chalked it up to the pain. He looked very distressed, with the way his brow furrowed and his fingers twitched in the sheets. “Yeah...” Kris had come to the decision that this Baekhyun kid spoke a lot more than he should, especially where Kris was concerned. He just knew it was going to start causing problems with Tao. He didn't need more problems.“Did he say why?”“Why what?”“Why is he trying to set you up?”“Kai's crazy. I don't question it anymore,” Kris replied dismissively. He honestly wanted to end this conversation, but Tao wasn't done. Tao was tired of feeling like a child in this friendship. They were supposed to be best friends, and best friends are supposed to tell each other things. Kris hardly told him things anymore.“Are you unhappy?”“What?”“Is that why he's trying to find someone for you?”Kris huffed exasperatedly, blowing hair out of his face. “No,” he sighed, as if it was ridiculous. “He thinks I need to get laid, which is fucking stupid! I don't need his help—I do just fine on my own!”The strained smile slipped off Tao's face as he searched Kris's expression. “What?” he breathed. “What do you mean?”“What?”“You said you do just fine on your own. What did you mean by that?”Kris rolled his eyes and sighed again. “Kai doesn't realize this, but I 'get some' on a regular basis.”“Who?” Tao demanded. “Do you have a girlfriend? Why wouldn't you tell me?”“I don't have a girlfriend—““So you just have one night stands? Flings? Regularly?”“Er. Not quite. Anyway, Kai's an idiot. Can we talk about something else now?”“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Tao would let it go now. But he was hardly done with this.“Thank you.”“So, about your clothes—““What's wrong with my clothes?”“Gege, you look like you got dressed in the dark!” O O O O O Tao hadn't quite figured out why he kept going back to the eccentric counselor. He pondered it as he watched Heechul kick off and spin violently in his chair. The man was peculiar, and that really was putting it kindly. Tao had hope that they'd eventually get to a solution to his problems, though. In any case, it was nice to be able to have someone to talk about his problems to who didn't know the people involved.“So how have things been?” Heechul asked when he'd finally slowed to a stop. He leaned forward on his elbows at the desk, staring forward at Tao. “Did you know that you're my favorite?”“I-I am?” Tao stammered, wide-eyed. “Yeah, some of the kids who come see me are real talkers. They just talk and talk and talk, like it's all about them. I can barely get a word in edgewise! I mean, what about me? I have problems, too. Like just yesterday, my neighbor decided he was going to learn to play the trumpet. It was three in the morning, and I was sobbing into a pillow with another one pressed over my ears. I was two stanzas away from smothering myself to put myself out of my misery when he finally stopped!”“That sounds terrible.”“It was! It really really was! Anyway, I heard he got evicted, and some Chinese dude is moving in. I'm having a good day today, so why don't we talk a little about you? What's troubling you?”“I don't think my best friend takes me seriously. I think he still considers me a child. I'm not that much younger than him!”“Well, age often isn't the only factor,” Heechul said solemnly, and Tao found himself baffled that he seemed to actually be listening seriously. “Didn't you mention before that you grew up with this friend of yours?” Tao nodded. “And he looked after you, yeah? Protected you, stuck up for you?”“Yeah...”“Well there you go. He still considers himself your guardian, little one. He's not going to worry you with grown up problems.”“I'm not a child, though!” Tao pouted, and Heechul quirked an eyebrow.“I get the feeling that's not entirely true.”Tao huffed and blew his bangs out of his eyes as he threw himself back into his chair. “Well, I want my best friend back. We used to have so much fun together. What can I do?”Heechul took a deep breath and exhaled quickly. He leaned back to start rifling through one of his drawers.“It's simple, young grasshopper.” Tao narrowed his eyes. “You have to show him how much you've grown up.”Tao eyed him warily, and watched as Heechul began arranging a few items on the desktop. “And how do I do that?” His breath caught in his throat as Heechul added a large box of condoms to the collection of items. “You have to fuck him.”Tao felt the blood drain out of his face and he stopped breathing. Is it hot in here? “Y-You want me to what?” Tao choked out. Heechul burst out laughing then, pounding his hand against the desk as he fought to stay in his chair. “You should have seen your face!” he cried when his laughter was back under control. “That was priceless!”Tao puffed out his cheeks and glared at the older man. “You're supposed to be helping me,” Tao whined. “Stop teasing me!”“But it's so easy!” Heechul shook himself out and settled back into his chair. “Okay, back to business, then.” He turned his attention to the items on his desk—a small tub of hair pomade, an eyeliner pencil, the box of condoms, and a stick of chapstick—as he continued to speak. “First, we'll start with your appearance.”“What's wrong with the way I look?”“It could use some sprucing up, to be honest. Your clothes aren't bad, but they could be a bit edgier. And you are in serious need of a haircut. This shaggy black mess isn't working for you. You've got sharp features—work with that. Following me?”Tao nodded slowly, still eyeing the box of condoms. Seriously, why does he have those?“Do you know how to use these?” Heechul tapped the cardboard package, and hummed approvingly when Tao nodded. “Good. I assume someone has already explained the mechanics of sex to you?”Tao flushed red and nodded again. “I'm in college,” Tao mumbled defensively. “Of course I know about that stuff.”“You'd be surprised what people don't know. Anyway, seduction techniques will be next, but we don't have time for that today. Let's see... what else?”“I... Er... I never said I wanted to seduce Kris?”Heechul raised a brow skeptically. “Don't you, though?” O O O O O As Tao approached his dorm, weighted down by shopping bags and a heap of anxiety, he hoped dearly that Heechul knew what he was talking about. He needed for this first step in his quest to repair his friendship to work. Kris had been such a huge part of his life since he was small, gawky, and terribly, terribly shy. Kris was his best friend, his brother, his goddamn soulmate. The handful of condoms Heechul had shoved at him, murmuring a rushed, “You didn't get these from me,” may go unused, but he'd get his Kris back if it was the last thing he did.Tao could scarcely breathe as he pushed open the door to his and Kris's dorm. He entered and set his shopping bags down just inside the door, flexing his tired hands before finally looking up. Kris sat in the common room with Lay and Luhan. The three of them had paused in their conversation, and were watching Tao with wide eyes.“Does it look okay?” Tao asked unsurely, raising a hand to touch his hair. His hair had been cut a bit shorter, and shaved on the sides. The top, ruffled stylishly, had been dyed a dark teal. And as usual, a multitude of silver studs adorned his ears. Tao narrowed kohl-rimmed eyes at the speechless boys, his face hardening into what appeared to be a smoldering, soul-piercing stare (but in reality was more likely a defensive reaction to what Tao perceived to be the precursor to criticism and ridicule), and the boys collectively gulped.Tao, all dark eyes, sharp jaw, and long, long legs, wore a tee whose collar and sleeves had been ripped out, baring well defined collarbones, biceps, and a hint of the muscled torso that lay beneath. Tao's body, long and lean and toned by years of wushu training, was a sinful dream in all black. Tao wore a pair of tight fitting black pants whose legs had been slashed repeatedly and revealed glimpses of the tanned flesh beneath. The pants were tucked into a pair of black tie-up boots, studded and scuffed from wear. Altogether, Tao appeared miles more dangerous than he'd left looking that morning.And Kris wasn't sure how he felt about that. Luhan cleared his throat and snatched up a pen from the coffee table which he used to scribble something down onto a stray napkin. He stood, and as he approached Tao, said, “Well, I've gotta go. I'll see you guys around.” As he moved past, he slipped the wadded up napkin into Tao's pocket, winked slyly, and then left out the door.Curious, Tao pulled it out, only to have it snatched away by Kris—whose expression was thunderous—a moment later. Tao wasn't sure how he'd crossed the room so quickly. Kris took one glance at the number scrawled across the paper, and promptly threw it into the trash can. He spun to look at Lay then, and fixed him with a steely glare. “If you get any thoughts along the same lines, you best not even think about acting on them,” he snapped. Lay held his hands up in surrender, a placating smile on his lips. “Wouldn't dream of it,” Lay replied calmly. “I know a no-go zone when I see one.”Ignoring him, Kris turned back to Tao. Tao, a bit confused and wary, fidgeted in place as Kris eyed him up and down briefly. Finally, the older boy said, “You should be lying down. The way you're walking—I can tell you're still in pain. You told me it was better.”Tao sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, ignoring the disappointment that welled in him at Kris's response to what Tao had thought was a pretty amazing improvement to his appearance. “Yeah,” he murmured when he was looking at Kris again. “I was feeling better, so I wanted to get out a bit. I guess I'll go lie down for a bit now, though.” Without another word, he moved past Kris and disappeared into his room.“Man, you are just fantastic with people,” Lay scoffed. Kris leveled him with a cold glare. “Shut it.”Lay raised a brow. “Make me.”    A/NI'm garbage.