Back To Being Me (1/1)

Rustles.Morning sun rays through the window fell on his face.Kyungsoo rubs his eyes lightly, turning over and sprawls an arm to the side.Chanyeol isn’t there.The music major opens his eyes to confirm. Yeap. He isn’t there. He was somewhere in South America with Kris for their special elective course.  Kyungsoo sighs, pulling the weight of his body to come out of the bed and tidy them. Maybe he needs to clean the bed sheets for Chanyeol this weekend, he wonders if Chanyeol ever change them before they met.Its barely a week and he couldn’t help coming over to Chanyeol’s little room at the hasukjib and spend few nights there. He misses him too much, sometimes he thought he is actually being very annoying at times. Yuri thought its ‘too attached’ while Jessica said he is cute. Ryeowook though, told Kyungsoo he is in a phase, sooner or later he wouldn’t do that. Kyuhyun’s words are the one that struck him like a thunder; “You’re the type of a boyfriend who acts like a girlfriend,”. Somehow, his man pride was hurt by the pang of truth and he knows he really needs to stop doing this.The last thing he wants to do is to annoy Chanyeol and who knows, if he found about his habit of being ‘annoying-girlfriend-gay-boyfriend’ would creeps Chanyeol out. Kyungsoo sighs, smoothening the creases on the pillow case before putting them back on the bed. He looks out to the window, the view that Chanyeol would see each morning.  Few days before his boyfriend went off, they were at this room, staring out of the window with Chanyeol’s hands around his waist. Chanyeol said he is going to try very hard to talk to him everyday but Kyungsoo knows better when he saw the daily schedule of the Yonsei medic student team to Argentina. It would be very tough, and he can see Chanyeol needs to grasp all the time he spent overseas for that subject or he would be spending energy and time in vain. All he told Chanyeol is that;“Its okay, I will not disappear in 2 weeks. You have to do well there, then when you’re back, we can meet each other all we want,”.And with that mere line of words, Chanyeol just practically jumped on him and loves him all night like an insatiable he is.Splash.Kyungsoo wipes down the cold water on his face . His impulsive boyfriend. When he thought of it, it is embarrassing of how easy for him to turned on and how quick Kyungsoo reacts to that.He had to finish few more tracks with Ryeowook at lunch time today. Then, class and helps Ryeowook for his thesis. Evening, he would go to work at the Kimbap shop. Go back home, do some more on the tracks or a little studying and sleep. His mother wants him to have supper at home so he would be going back to the hasukjib this weekend.This is more like a normal day and routine for him before he was involved with Chanyeol.But now he only realized how dull it is without his grin and his refreshing wits. Even if its just a little text, it brightens Kyungsoo’s day in a snap.Final examination is only few more weeks ahead and he knows he still had a lot to study, maybe he could make it up while Chanyeol is away. Studying rigorously for two weeks aren’t a bad idea at all.Lacing his shoes, Kyungsoo stands up and jogs down to greet the old hasukjib couple who used to be his employer. Riding his bicycle and off he goes to go through the day.It was much more cheerful when he received a ‘Good Morning’ from Chanyeol.Bear it, Kyungsoo.If you’re not going to make it for these fortnight.You’re not going to survive the semester leave.Kyungsoo exhales and steps on a paddle.“Good Morning, Chanyeol,”****Rustles.Its late night in Buenos Aires,  Argentina where Yonsei University Medical Students were undergoing their special curriculum for two weeks.Chanyeol throws himself on the large bed, exhausted but manages to rolls himself in the bed sheets and claims himself as ‘Metapod’.  Its rather silly, he was dead tired and spending a little more energy doing that stupid thing makes him feel like he had spent his last drop of energy. The brunette looks up to his roommate, Kris who doesn’t seems to look tired at all.“Day 4 and your face doesn’t show anything that you’re a human,” Chanyeol complains, almost falling asleep after finishing his insult to Kris. The bedsheet is clean and its so comfortable, his brain told him to shut his eyes right away.  The Chinese assassin (Chanyeol introduced Kris as that whenever they met the locals) were checking his face and neck, looking for signs of stress and relieved there were none too serious.“You may look buff and all but your stamina is seriously low,” Kris turns his head, tossing a wet cloth to Chanyeol’s face so he would stay awake and change out of his housemanship uniform.“I like you better when you can’t speak Korean well,” Chanyeol wipes his face and toss the cloth back to hit on Kris’ perfect hair, feeling satisfied when it lands nicely on the top of his head. All the fancy hair-makeup are spoilt because of it.Kris rolls his eyes, murmuring in Chinese. “How about you go to sleep immediately, we need to wake early again tomorrow if we don’t want to miss the bus with the seniors,”“Remind me why do we have to do this again?”“Because we’re recommended by some assholes who doesn’t want us around the campus,”“You’re serious?”“Gotcha,”This time Chanyeol rolls his eyes and falls back to the bed. “I want to go back home and cuddle,”“Cheese,”“Get a boyfriend and tell me that again,”Kris laughs. Chanyeol really gets annoyed when he interrupted him from whining and talking about his relationship. Or the most accurate is that, he gets annoyed whenever people cuts him while talking about Kyungsoo.“Speaking of boyfriend,”“What. Don’t tell me you got hooked with some locals?”“No, I wanna talk about Sehun,”“Oh, your ‘son’,”“Miniature of me, get the terms right for once,”Chanyeol made a face of ‘whatever’. “Whats the link of the word boyfriend and the miniature of yours,”“I think he is hooking up with that tan kid, whats his name again?”“Tan? You mean, Kai?”“Yeah, lately when I texted him, he would end it with ‘got to go, Kai is here,’”“You’re sure he is not using him to avoid you? Maybe he thought you’re kinda creepy, but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings,”“Why would anyone avoid me after talking to me?”Oh, that’s kind of cocky but that is true. Kris is probably one of the people who look like rich bastard with ill attitude when the truth is he is an average Chinese exchange student, with the politeness of an average Canadian.From what Kris told him, the high school kid trusts Kris with a lot of secrets to the extent of telling him his whereabouts at nights where he was supposed to be at home, sleeping. Sehun might not look like it, but he is one of the Hongdae wild child that hangs out with the musicians, jumping from gigs to gigs all night and went home at dawn before his mother knocks the door to wake him. Kris, being eager to learn about Korea and curious enough about Sehun’s life, followed him and had a night or two spent at music gigs, breaking the language barrier with the Koreans who speaks through sounds and music.Kris claimed to be Sehun’s guardian so the little fella won’t get caught being a minor who loiters around. It seems like Sehun had totally took Kris as a big brother who would saves his ass all the time. Chanyeol couldn’t wait for the moment both of them gets into trouble and it would be really funny, thinking of an almost mute (by choice) high school kid and a foreign Medic major who always misunderstood Korean being interrogated by the authority.“Anyway, I think they’re going out,”Kris continues. Chanyeol brings his forearm to his forehead, sighing. He somewhat feels kind of relieved.“I don’t like that kid much,”“Kai?”Chanyeol nods. Its so hard to hear that, since Chanyeol is naturally a very happy person and gets along with everyone so well. When Kris asks him why, the other medic student just shrugs. “You know when you hate someone without reason?” He constructs the line of words in the most simple Korean he could get so Kris won’t get confused. Kris clicks on his tongue and nods.“Well, you can at least put on a show. It seems like him and Kyungsoo are good friends,”Chanyeol sighs. Thinking of Kyungsoo and the mysterious looking boy working together at the kimbap store. He remembers how enthusiastic Kyungsoo was when he talks about Kai and how they’re working together at the newly open shop. Chanyeol suddenly thought of visiting the shop at Kyungsoo’s shift, just to check them out. Maybe with his classmates. Maybe him alone.“Maybe I just need to get to know him better,”“You do that,”10 minutes after that, both of the students are ready in bed, wishing to get a good night sleep and feels recharged for another long day tomorrow. Chanyeol stares at his phone lock screen, of Kyungsoo with the puppy that looks like him. He feels like his soul was washed clean when he sees Kyungsoo’s smile and couldn’t help but to smile back to the non-animated digital picture. He checks to the other bed, if Kris is looking. He was already snoring and Chanyeol faces his phone again. Kissing the screen.“Good night, Kyungsoo,”****Jongin, I am your hyung from today. Nice to meet you.Jongin, you’re a good boy. You know that.Jongin, you did well. Hyung is very proud of you.Jongin, you’re cute.Jongin, heres something for you.Jongin, do you want to play at hyung’s house?Jongin, do you like hyung?Jongin, I like you. Jongin. . . .Jongin, open yourself for hyung.Jongin, you’re a beautiful child. Jongin, its okay.Jongin, lets do this again.Jongin, come to hyung’s house again?Jongin, you’re good at this.Jongin, be good and don’t tell anyone.Jongin, sorry but hyung is busy.Jongin, so sorry hyung had exams.Jongin, sorry but no.Jongin, what are you doing here?Jongin, you’ve misunderstood me all this while.Jongin, there is no way I would love you. You and I are both male being.Jongin, you’re so filthy of a child. I’m uncomfortable, you should go away.Jongin, please don’t come to see me anymore. You’re a pervert.Jongin, I’m not your hyung anymore, please go away.Jongin, go away.You whore! Get off of me!! RUSTLES.Kai breathes hard, gasping for oxygen, touching the back of his neck, assuring that he is awake. His whole body is sweating, bare and heating. He looks to the side, a woman is sleeping wearing his shirt. Right, its Mrs. Rich-with-no-kids-and-husband-is-always-busy  and they’re at a secret OfficeTel that she bought just to spend her time with Kai.When he is sure that he is fully awake, Kai tries to calm his fast breathing pace, putting a thumb on his temple.  Its that dream again. A nightmare of his past.Maybe he was too tired, studying at day, working in the evening and serves clients at nights.He gets off from his bed, pouring himself a glass of cold water.How to get rid of this annoying nightmare.It feels like someone pulled a trigger to shot the past back to him and its replaying like a diligent VCR inside his dreams.He found a bottle of Brandy and decides to have some. Maybe this will help him to get a peaceful sleep.He takes a sip after placing some ice in his glass. Pursing his lips, he thought it would be better with some coke.After all he is just an 18 years old kid who loves soft drinks.He knows very well if he gives in to his 18 years old self, he would feel vulnerable. This is a wild world, if he doesn’t want to be a victim or a prey, he needs to be the predator.There is no way in this world he can be the regular kid.Between delightful taste of Coke and strong, sweet sensational of Brandy, he would choose to sip on the latter than chugging on a can of Coke. Even when he likes Coke better, he just had to chose Brandy.Strong, luxurious and young.That defines Kai.Ah, why is he thinking of this again. He runs one hand on his hair, frowning, probably angry at himself for getting carried away with his own monologue.His phone rings.Mr. Mayor’s Assistant, long time no see. Kai takes the call with a light hello, pretending he were sleeping.“You’re awake?”“I am now.”“Where you at?”“Somewhere in Gangnam.”“Can you come over to my hotel in 30 minutes?”“You know its 3am, right?”“I will pay you double.”“And you have no appointments.”“Kai, I would pay you just how much you want, just, come over.”“Desperate, Mr. Seo?”“I had a rough day.”“I want it in cash by the time I reach there. If its not prepared, I’ll flee.”“I have them at the lobby, you can check with the receptionist. Only I have the password.”“So eager.”“Please, Kai. I don’t want anyone else, its just not working.”Kai smirks, remembering the old guy having trouble to get his thing hard. Eventually, he could only get hard by playing with an underage with exotic features like him. Dirty old pervert.“30 minutes, your regular hotel right?”“Yes! And you know how to reach my room.”“That’s 5 million won sir, impulsive call at night, no appointment, having me over at your place and no advance payment.”“Whatever you say, Kai. Just come to me, baby.”“See you. “Kai slides off his phone, taking his time to finish the beverage before hitting the shower. Realized his shirt is worn by the woman on the bed, he had no choice but to wear her red dress underneath his jacket and carefully tucks inside his acid wash skinny.He left a note at the kitchen counter, besides a plate of sandwich he made.Have a good breakfast, noona. I need to go but you’re sleeping with my shirt. I’ll return your dress the next time we meet. Bye.And off he go, riding his bike to the said hotel not so far from where he stayed last night.Not sure if that old pervert would like him in a female red dress. But he needs to work that out.This is his profession anyway.****“Mr. Oh Sehun!”A tiny object hits him.Sehun raises his head and saw a chalk fallen down from his head. He looks around, every heads are turning to him and the adult that he calls teacher is at the front, hands on her waist. Face resembling an angry bulldog that his neighbor owns.“Its only 9am and you’re sleeping half through the period of my class. GO STAND OUTSIDE!”Sehun stretches like it’s a good morning and drags himself outside without complaining.His classmates knew its not a good idea to send Sehun standing outside.He would definitely disappear.Sehun walks around the school, climbing stairs to the roof top with his earphones on, he really couldn’t care less with stuffy, boring class with a group of people who stuck his nose in the books. They look like a bunch of customized machines being produced in the factory.When he reached the roof top, theres a refreshing breeze running through his hair and it feels good. He inhales the air and checks his playlist for a song that would suits his mood right now.Kraftwerk’s Machine. Cool.He lies down on a bench and starts to listen to the pioneering electronic music. Closing his eyes.A busy, magazine photoshoot, Sehun is working his wonder to the top-rated celebrities in Korea, it turns out great and he rushes to the runway event at the neighboring district to work with high fashion labels for their makeup.Party of the post event, he were raising glass of champagne with the top designers, meeting his musician friends and they were dancing to world’s most wanted DJ spinning on the deck. It was for invited guests only and he didn't need to be invited, he is most welcome at any fashion label's party. The next day when he were still sober, he had to go for an interview with online high fashion website as Korea’s top ten celebrity makeup artist. Decking a pair of Armani aviator to cover his tired eyes, wearing double fluffy fox fur leather jacket and legs hugging leather pants with studded crocodile skin shoes. His nails are painted black, his ears are bejeweled with snake ear gear and Swarovski diamante.Rebellious makeup artist, known for his deviant cosmetic art, bringing the street fashion into a whole new level in the high fashion scene; Oh Sehun, the youngest in the top ten Korea’s industrial makeup artist is building his own legend.Sehun grins.His phone vibrates in his pocket which blows the heck out of his nice day dream.He checks his phone. Text message.“Skip school.”Sehun doesn’t wait, he immediately runs down the stairs, changes his shoes and climbs over the school fences to escape. Forget his school bag, he can come to school tomorrow without it.There, a bike is waiting for him to jumps on and painting the city red.Kai, the peer who acts double his age and graduated high school a year earlier than him, probably the most random stranger turns acquaintance that he have met is waiting on the bike with a bored eyes and an inviting smile.And he is probably the most fun out of all the people he had ever met.“Where?” Sehun rides at the back and fix the helmet on his head.“Lotte,”“No money,”“Its on me,”Sehun slaps hard on Kai’s back as a thank you. Kai looks on the side mirror, amazed at how wide Sehun could smile and how small his eyes turns into.****Ryeowook rolls one paper to poke on Kyungsoo. He were staring at the computer for more than half an hour straight without talking, it scares the Doctorate student. He turns to Ryeowook with a puzzled expression. Its funny because it looks like as if his lips are dropping and his eyes coming out. Like a stuffed animal happens to explode at anytime.“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,”“But hyung, we only have 2 hours before my class starts….”“You haven’t said anything but ‘hello’ and ‘let’s start’,”Kyungsoo had a small laugh. He had to admit that, whenever he feels empty with one part of his heart, he would get himself as busy as he could be. So he could forget it.“I’m sorry, hyung,”“Anxious that Chanyeol was away?”Kyungsoo shrugs. Perhaps. Ryeowook is another person after his mother that knows what he is thinking.“Cheer up a bit. We’re going to finish all 12 tracks before the semester leave and looking at what we’ve done so far….Professor Yoo would decide to move you for a new major of concentration based on it.”Ryeowook smiles and taps on his iPad before handing it to Kyungsoo. The junior takes the flat gadget with a quizzical face, what is this now?Its an Album Art for his songs and Kyungsoo were shocked.“I had a friend who’re currently building her portfolio, so she is doing this for free,”Kyungsoo were so excited, the album art is so pretty and the designer even design on how the CD box would be. He needs to find a printer agent who could print this accurately without error or he would be so mad to get something this beautiful ruined.“Hyung, thank you so much,”“Its nothing, we’re just talking about this and she said she wants to do it,”Ryeowook sits on the opposite of Kyungsoo, grinning. Happy to see the clouds on Kyungsoo’s face are away for a moment.“She’s not lesbian right?”“My friends aren’t all homos, Kyungsoo,” Ryeowook grits his teeth and rolls his eyes, checking his nails and looks back at Kyungsoo with a sharp stare.“I see,” Kyungsoo nods, still had that happy smile from the previous nice surprise of the album art.“But shes dating a girl, I don’t know,”Kyungsoo laughs hard. Ryeowook laughs back. Its funny just how much they want to deny it, its just so hard to do. They have a lot of alternative, deviant people living harmoniously in a universe where they made by their own. A society that accepts them for being the way they are and shun themselves from the plain, old society where they’re not well accepted. Its almost like running away but its just embracing and being with the people who can accept them. Who can be guilty of making themselves feel accepted? Nobody.That’s exactly how Ryeowook is. He is the hub of all the people who are like them, who understands them and sometimes, meet through him to find soul mate. Kyungsoo knows that and Ryeowook knows better. Somehow it becomes an inner joke between them.“Ahreum confessed to me,”“Who?”Kyungsoo nods, remembers that he never told Ryeowook about the Ewha famous freshman who had been chasing him since they met at the sogaeting with Chanyeol. Nope, he was always talking about Chanyeol he never thought of telling about Ahreum. Because it seems insignificant, until that day Ahreum, with the shyest pair of eyes, pulling each of her own fingers and rocking back and forth, nervousness all over her face.He told Ryeowook everything, how they met, how Ahreum had been calling him but Kyungsoo never thought its important, their occasional meet ups and the confession.And again, he didn’t know what to do.Again, he is asking Ryeowook for some advice.“Not bad, Soo,” Ryeowook rocks his head a bit, understanding the whole situation from Kyungsoo’s point of view. He understands why he didn’t tell this to Chanyeol or the lesbian pair who are acting like his parents, they would go nuts because Kyungsoo said ‘okay’ instead of rejecting her right away.Kyungsoo raises both his brows, putting a hand behind his head, a little embarrassed.   “I didn’t expect that. I thought she was just like everybody else, trying to get some Hongdae kids insider so they could get tickets to a lot of concerts, shows and gigs,”A person like Kyungsoo would think like that. He had never been in a relationship before he had one with Chanyeol, a guy, so when a girl is showing interest to him, being a man with a male brain, Kyungsoo of course would totally had no idea at all.Main problem here is that, Kyungsoo is still keeping it in the closet and it shall stay like that because he is involved with a lot of people like Chanyeol, Yuri, Jessica and Kyuhyun. Once he is discovered homosexual, people would look around the circle he always hang out with, from that, the worst thing that could happen is the campus gets to know this and their involvement with a large, homosexual society would cause them a lot of trouble. Of course its not a crime but being Yonsei, the higher community would like to keep any scandals away from their century-old, conservative, academic image and God knows what else could be stretched from that. Too much problems, too many things to predict.Maybe it sounds fine if he just told Ahreum, he is gay and he couldn’t be in a relationship with her. But he barely knows this girl. Plus, this girl is famous, a social butterfly. One word coming out of her and the whole circle shes in would know and it could viral after that. Kyungsoo’s life has just started in Yonsei and he doesn’t want to risk it. Ryeowook too, would be devastated if a talent like Kyungsoo is gone just because of a silly take of risk.Apparently, its not even right to give Ahreum a slight chance that there is a possibility of them being together as a pair. Kyungsoo should just turns down whatever Ahreum suggesting, but Ryeowook knows, Kyungsoo just doesn’t have the guts to break a girl who was so hopeful and fragile at that time, standing in front of him and confessing. He just had to find the way between yes and no so he could saves both of them at the same time. “I never seen a girl, standing right before me, being so red in the face, almost stuttering the words that he said. Her eyes are twinkling, hyung. She looks so beautiful,” Kyungsoo tries to describe what he sees of Ahreum with all the words he could find. Its really hard to do that, he never seen a female acting like that before towards him. It feels magical.Even when Chanyeol confesses his love to him, he doesn’t look like that. She is glowing, like a moon illuminating the sky with all her glory. Its beautiful.“She was in love, women look the best when she is glowing with love. They are the creature who are created to love and be loved anyway,”Ryeowook explains. Sighing. “It’s a shame people like us couldn’t love such beautiful creature,”“It is a shame,” Kyungsoo smiles sadly. He feels nothing but sorry to Ahreum. He admits that it does jolts him with a lot of feelings, he is glad that somebody opposite his gender is actually taking note of him and actually, had a feeling for him. It used to be something that he has always wanted back in his adolescent days. Heck, he was so depressed about it that he kept himself busy with music. Then, after entering Yonsei, he found out that he is attracted to a male being and exclusively to that male. Its safe to say it’s a little too late for all this kind of experimenting in relationships. Maybe for him, he is too involved with Chanyeol, he couldn’t pictures himself without him.Maintaining a good relationship with Ahreum would be good, that they’re more as friends but a special kind of friend until Kyungsoo is ready to tell her about the truth. Kyungsoo though, aren’t comfortable pretending. He doesn’t want Ahreum to feel obliged into their relationship and thought that she couldn’t see someone else.Suddenly he was reminded of Kai’s life theory of being in free with just everyone and anyone without commitment. Similar to open relationship.Oh, shit. Don’t remind him, he was about to do that.“You know, I didn’t mean to criticize open relationship but, I didn’t like it and maybe its just me,” Kyungsoo shrugs, putting Ryeowook's Macbook Air into hibernation mode. He is all in the mood to talk now.“Please, the stereotype that I always get being homosexual is that we would sleep with just whoever gay that we met." Ryeowook rolls his eyes,the first time Kyungsoo sees the older guy acts a little too stereotypical day a little too much in one day. It made him grin to almost laughing, it suits Ryeowook somehow.“Ah, Yuri-noona told me about it before,” He snaps a finger. “So its normal for us to hate the idea. That’s why they think we can’t get married, we can’t adopt and all,” He went a little furious. Kyungsoo wonders if Ryeowook and Kyuhyun had been to a much serious step, having a family and all. Judging from his tone talking about marriage, they probably had tried before."Open relationship," Ryeowook leans back, looking up on the ceiling."Just the thought of it made me hate the idea. Not judging to those who are in to it ah, its just....”“But do I have any other solutions?” Kyungsoo pulls back their root of conversation to his problem regarding Ahreum. Ryeowook tilts his head to the side, and looks at Kyungsoo with squinting eyes. “I think if Ahreum is okay with it, maybe?”Kyungsoo sighs deeply. Another hard decision to make and it always involve other person’s. He feels bad but no matter what, he needs to get it down or it would hurt the other person even more.“Open relationship,”Sighing, he turns to Ryeowook for confirmation. Ryeowook just purse his lips, its up to Kyungsoo. He sighs again, taking a deep breath, dialing his phone.“Hi, Ahreum. Its Kyungsoo. Yeah. Uhm. I was wondering if you’re free this weekend?”****“Sure, yeap. No problem. Yup. Alright. See you.” Ahreum runs her index finger on the screen, placing her phone back to her purse. She takes a deep breath to calm herself down.Kyungsoo just asked her out.Its not like this is the first time but, this time, he knows her feelings. For some reason, that one fact alone kept her heart beating so fast.And Kyungsoo’s voice was so shy in the phone.Ah, this is the first time she is going out with a person she’s very fond of and they both knows her feelings. Just to think of how Kyungsoo might treat her differently is making her blush. She really hopes that it’d be like in all the dramas and movies, or she would be so broken if Kyungsoo turns out to be a jerk ball.What should she wear?A stroll at Myeongdong is so typical, maybe she should just dress casual? Or impress him with much more fashionable clothes.What kind of girl is Kyungsoo’s type?Sexy type? Cute type? Mature type? Laidback type? Boyish type?This is too much to think of, she doesn’t want Kyungsoo to regret going out with her and yet she wants Kyungsoo to feel special.Because he is special, she wants him to look at her like that as well.Ahreum purses her lips, sighing. First date, is so important. She had a lot of date before but it was casual, just to fulfill her duty as the social butterfly of Ewha freshman. It seems like a business-like meeting, nothing more than that. She had a reputation, so all along she had been keeping it.With Kyungsoo it involves feelings.And this girl doesn’t want to disappoint and afraid to lose.This is so annoying. Why is she so negative?Lets think of how it would be if this date is a success. Like, Ahreum wear just whatever shes comfortable with and Kyungsoo enjoyed the whole day with her.Maybe they could be a pair afterwards. Maybe being official?Ahreum blushes. Fanning herself to imagine wonderful romantic couples stuffs they would do together. She almost giggles in the middle of people waiting in line at the subway.Suddenly it strikes her mind, thinking what kind of boyfriend Kyungsoo would be.What if he wanted to spend the night together?Like, things young adults prone to do.The things that she couldn’t do.Ahreum suddenly feels upset.It would be really unfair to Kyungsoo. She knows very well, it'd be a miracle Hallelujah moment if Kyungsoo turns out an asexual as well then they would have no problem being a pair. But that is too good to be true. Kyungsoo is most probably a normal, healthy man who, are somehow sex-driven. And she couldn't do that. She couldn't. She knows this but she wants to be with Kyungsoo so bad. The one who made her feel the safest. Without a hint of monstrous lust circulating around like any other men he had met before. This is selfish. Ahreum scratch a tiny cut on her phone, feeling a little bad and angry thinking about it. But its too early to talk about this. Lets not do that right now.And why is she thinking too much, its just a date with mutual interest.  Its probably Kyungsoo trying to be nice, its not like they’re officially going out, seeing each other like lovers.Ahreum feels dizzy, she exhales a heavy sigh and slaps herself on both cheeks.Maybe she should just go to Kyuri's apartment and ask her what should she wear for this weekend.