[M] Back To Being Me (1/1)

Yuri was laughing at him the entire Yoga class. He screwed up big time and she said he knew it was him all along who is experiencing this ‘bi-curious’ crisis not some other friend or anything. Chanyeol were red on his face the whole time, he knew it was stupid. Such mistake that only high school kids would do. Yuri couldn’t help much but she advises Chanyeol to have a deep talk with that cute little boy and expect hating coming from him. Chanyeol folds his arms over his head and click his tongue. That’s what he was trying to avoid, being hated by Kyungsoo. It would be the last thing he wanted in his whole life.“Don’t worry, if he didn’t hate you now, he would hate you later,”Chanyeol give the gay yoga instructor a look. Seriously why is she so sarcastic when he is in deep trouble? Yuri gave him the final word that only time would heal. The damage has been done, you need to mend it and it takes time to get the scar fades. Is she suggesting that Kyungsoo would forever hates him but maybe less hating on him in years? Geez.“Haha, I really enjoy seeing such a playboy getting in deep shit,”“Thanks,” He rolls his eyes.“By the way is this the same guy you had been ‘imagining’ to?” Yuri helps Chanyeol to bend and reach his toes. The new-found bi squeaks, feeling his back almost slip a disc.“Yeah,” “You sure like him a lot,”“He is nice,” Chanyeol is in full body twist, looking at Yuri who copies his position in seconds.“If he is nice why don’t you tell him your ‘intention’ earlier?”“I was stupid,”“Damn, Chanyeol lost his mind when it comes to this man? I need to see him, you got picture?”“I didn’t ‘lose ‘my mind’ okay, it’s just a mistake,” Chanyeol gave up and detangles himself.“Yeah, cool. Picture?”Chanyeol takes out his phone from his trainer and throws it to Yuri. She caught it with both of her feet in yoga position, not sure if Chanyeol is impressed or freaks out.“Oh, cutie! I would want to have a son like this,” Yuri cooed to Chanyeol’s phone. Is that how girls view Kyungsoo? This is not the first time girls said about maternal instinct and such.“Chanyeol, why is he on the wallpaper?”“It was a selca, me and him, with our kites,”“Oh. A date?”Chanyeol wants to cry. Yeah, he calls it a date. But it was just to play around. Knowing Yuri, he wouldn’t escape with that reason to call this a date. “You’re asking too much questions,”“I think you like him,”“I told you he is a nice guy,”“No, I mean, LIKE him more than you think you did,”“Nonsense,”“First, you told me you had a problem ‘thinking weirdly’ to a friend. Then I told you to experiment, didn’t expect you to experiment with the guy you’ve masturbated to. You didn’t tell him that you’re experimenting and he didn’t reject. HE OBVIOUSLY IS GAY. Then you felt bad, trying to find ways to explain to this guy and come to me for solutions. Now, I just knew you guys had a date together, flying kites, selca and you putting the picture as your wallpaper, dude!”Yuri slaps each of Chanyeol’s cheeks with both of her hands. He groaned loudly in pain, it stings because Yuri is stronger than she looks.“You’re not bi, you’re gay for this guy,”_____________________________ Ryeowook were so excited listening to Kyungsoo’s first time, he had been putting his hands under his chin, all ears to Kyungsoo who sheepishly telling him the details. He laughs everytime Kyungsoo said Chanyeol is a handsome prince. He kept saying how handsome Chanyeol was and how he is captivated at each of Chanyeol’s touch.Kyungsoo wasn’t sure on how to talk to Chanyeol again. It was awkward. He had a lot of questions in his head like why he did that and why him. Is that the reason why they went to noraebang or was it an accident? Did he likes him or is it just a one time. Chanyeol didn’t text or call him, he didn’t know if he should text first. All sorts of awkward are going on. This the initial reason on why Kyungsoo took a bus and hops to Ryeowook’s home. He didn’t know what to do.Ryeowook had a bad feeling about this. He had been asking few times already if Chanyeol was drunk. If he is alcohol driven then it would be easier to understand but Chanyeol is aware of what he is doing. Chanyeol is straight and getting it on with a man so suddenly, is very suspicious.Ryeowook refrains himself from telling Kyungsoo that Chanyeol probably is using Kyungsoo for his sexual needs because Kyungsoo was so happy. He had been showing him a very fantastic melody that describes how a sort of longing had gone and changed to dreams come true. It would break him into pieces if he finds out.“Kyungsoo, you know how we are sworn brothers and we could tell each other anything, right?”“Yeah,” Kyungsoo is still all smiles, there’s a little sting in Ryeowook’s heart to see that.“Would you get mad if I’m being frank with you?”“No, not at all, hyung. You’re like my real brother already,”“Aw, our Kyungsoo,” Ryeowook pats the side of Kyungsoo’s head. He purses his lips hard. If only his boyfriend is here, he would do much better talking and explaining this to Kyungsoo.Ryeowook inhales deeply. He had been there. He had done that. He knows how it feels.Better being hurt now,  than feeling sorry later for having false hopes.____________________________________ Its a manic Monday.Chanyeol weren’t looking forward to Mondays. But today, he is. He needs to run to Kyungsoo before class at 10 and comes clean with him. He figures that the whole thing would be unpleasant so he is considering skipping the morning class and attends the one at 2pm. Hair check, face check, shirt and pants check, notebook check and he exhales.Time to face Do Kyungsoo.The tall lad knew Kyungsoo’s lecture schedule by heart eversince Kyungsoo texted him the whole timetable, so he could drop by and rides bicycle with him.He wonders if they would do something like that together again after the revelation he was about to hold.Chanyeol keep thinking how to actually talks it out with Kyungsoo on his way to campus. When he looks up, he is already at the Music faculty’s ground and he twitches a bit. Nervous. There are few students around, with music instruments, some are familiar with him, probably Kyungsoo’s classmates. Maybe his hair is too distracting, people keep looking at him. He saw a familiar head, average height were sitting under the tree, reading a book. He waits for the person to look around to make sure. Yeap. That’s Kyungsoo. And that is his favorite spot before his class starts.He takes another deep breath and walks slowly, approaching the guy. His hands are cold. They turn to be balls of fist inside his pockets.  Heart is thumping like crazy. He gather all his might to call out his name.“Kyungsoo,”The figure right before him looks around and found his face. Chanyeol chuckles nervously. It was funny. Kyungsoo’s eyes are always that wide no matter what. Its adorable.  And yes, his pupils are dilating.“Hey,”Kyungsoo closes his book and rises. Oh. Awkward. Now. How to start.“How do you do,”Kyungsoo blushes. Right. That’s not an appropriate question. He is still probably sore behnd after what he did to him. Eventually, Chanyeol could feel something warm is creeping on his face too. More awkward than ever.“Sorry,”“Uhm,”What are they going to do? Two guys are blushing, facing towards each other. Chanyeol couldn’t focus. His heart is beating so hard, he feels like doing a quick surgery to fix that out right away. Kyungsoo looks down, to his own feet.“I was weird,”Chanyeol had to start something.“Yeah.”“And I am so sorry it happens,”Kyungsoo suddenly looks up. To Chanyeol’s face. The taller guy was happy that he is looking back to him. At least he knows Kyungsoo is giving him his full attention.“I didn’t mean to….drags you and…you know,”He keeps on talking, looking straight on how Kyungsoo’s eyes are all wide and mouth gaping a bit.“It was an accident,”  Bonk.  Dark.  Chanyeol feels dizzy. He opens his eyes, his nose hurts. He touches it and theres blood on it. He is bleeding. And he is on the ground, lying. Kyungsoo punched him.“Fuck you, Park Chanyeol! Fuck you and your selfish ways!!”“Kyungsoo, I-““So you DO know all these time, you fucking KNOW. And you have to USE ME,”“Use you? No!”“Do you ever think, how it was in my position?”“God, Kyungsoo. I didn’t know it hurts, you didn’t tell when it happens!”Kyungsoo shakes his head in disbelief. Chanyeol saw that and knew it wasn’t what Kyungsoo were trying to say. That’s it. He can’t win.“Douchebag,”Kyungsoo spits on the side, takes his backpack and walks away. Chanyeol closes his eyes, still feeling the pain on his face. He lies there for a while. He didn’t see this coming from Kyungsoo. Chanyeol was picturing Kyungsoo to cry and he would comforts him, then they would stay cold for a week or two and be friends again. Being punched and cursed at are, not Kyungsoo.All of what Kyungsoo said is running to his head right now.Uses him? If that’s the word to describe what Kyungsoo think he had done to him, then he is seriously a big evil wolf right now. He didn’t know how to counter back all the things Kyungsoo said.Kyungsoo shouted that he knew. Knew of what? The fact that he likes him? Chanyeol hisses. He knew Kyungsoo likes him when his pupils dilated, right in front of Kyungsoo’s house, before he pecks him near his lips. He do had the idea of Kyungsoo liking him when he realizes Kyungsoo didn’t reject any of his advances to him. He knew. He do. He hates to admit it, he was thinking it would be easier for him to had a go on him.Chanyeol covers his face with both palms.What Kyungsoo said was nothing but truth. The way he said it, though, was unfamiliar and Chanyeol didn’t like it. He was expecting a soft spoken Kyungsoo, being calm and collected. What he just saw is a wrath monster and it’s really making him feel, worthless. The world seems so dark right now after that.There are tears in Chanyeol’s eyes.He is going to be absent for today’s lectures._________________________________ Kyungsoo had the most confusing moment in his life when Ryeowook told him he needs to punch Chanyeol in the face if Chanyeol said it was a mistake sleeping with him.“Look, its normal if guys had a one night stand with girls. Only certain guys sleep with guys,” Ryeowook had to hold Kyungsoo on the shoulder. Hands gripped tight that Kyungsoo could feel his nails are digging inside his skin. He prepares himself to listen to the worst of worst, because he knew, Ryeowook knows better.“Chanyeol is straight, but he slept with you. He didn’t say anything either after that,” The older man kept pushing his glasses on his nose, Kyungsoo knew, the one who needs to relax is Ryeowook. He had been so afraid to say it straight to him, like he would break immediately. Sure, he is afraid to learn the bad things about this but at least, he would get a clue.“He is either, desperate or really likes you,”Kyungsoo closes his eyes and nods. Ryeowook nods back. “Yeah, like that,”“You’re saying that Chanyeol is probably is sexually desperate and finds me as a decoy or he actually, fallen for me,” Kyungsoo concludes. Ryeowook nods. “But he didn’t call or explain or anything,”Kyungsoo nods again. He looks down, biting his lower lips. Ryeowook knows how hard Kyungsoo had been crushing on Chanyeol, how precious Chanyeol is to him, how Chanyeol had been a part of his everyday life that he couldn’t forget him, ever. Since the moment he confessed over his orientation, he had been talking about Chanyeol endlessly and the glow on his face talking about him is so blinding.This would break him so bad.So Ryeowook told him, there would be only two explanations. The fact that Chanyeol loves him so much, or he just need a fuck. If Chanyeol meets him, it could be two explanations that he would give. Either he confesses or said it was a total mistake.If he said it was a mistake, punch him in his face.You’re not someone who could be a replacement for sexual favors. You’re a man. Have that pride.Kyungsoo embeds that hard in mind. When he got home, he skipped dinner and helps himself with long hours of crying; thinking how Chanyeol probably had taken advantage on him and he was clueless the whole time. He desperately wants to believe Chanyeol were in love with him and he is ashamed of himself.The pillow is wet with Kyungsoo’s tears, his eyes darted to the kite that Chanyeol gave him.He wonders if the messages that they sent together are being comprehended well by the sky above.“Why did you let me made a mistake like this?” He mumbles by himself, continue to tear in his sleep.Tomorrow is Monday.He hopes that he wouldn’t need to punch Chanyeol ever.        ____________________________________________Sorry for the short update ;;;;;;