Hopeless (1/1)

Hopeless  It isn’t often that he makes it as far out of the glade as this. He can’t see the twinkling lights behind him, nor can he hear the shrill laughter of the wild younglings that haunts his ears even after they are silenced for the night. There is nothing but dark green and browns surrounding him, and the distant chirping of birds and the clawing of chipmunks on dry bark is the only sound he can hear. Not even the wind ruffling leaves and thin branches and long, untamed strands of grass make its music today, the air is still around him, humid and hot, in wait of a rain shower.A sharp splash breaks the stillness and makes Jihoon fall off the tree branch he was sitting on, only his quick wit saving him from a painful crash to the ground as his wings flutter quickly in the air. When Jihoon opens his eyes the grass is tickling his stomach and he come face to face with a disgruntled squirrel that he can only guess he had almost squashed under him. The squirrel sniffs at him and turn its tail to run away from him and up a tree several feet away. Jihoon shouts out an apology, but the squirrel completely ignores him, reminding Jihoon more of a chipmunk with its unusual sassiness.Another splash rent the air and Jihoon sets off immediately through the trees in the direction of the sound. There must be a lake somewhere up ahead, he thinks, and excitement fills him to the brim at the possibility of seeing actual lakedwellers. His wings, translucent and small, so light you wouldn’t think they had the strength to carry him, sweeps him quickly through foil and between thick trunks of maple trees and pine, his hands catching on branches to swing his body around in play until suddenly the trees open up around him. Jihoon catches himself sharply on a thick branch and hisses as his fingers scrape against the uneven bark and his body jerks to a stop. Below him a wide, deep blue lake stretches out further than he can see, encased in a wide arch to his left and breaking out into a slow-running river on his right, but ahead there is only blue, rippling water. Another splash breaks him out of his reverie, but by the time he turns his head to see, ripples on the water surface is the only evidence that there had been something only moments before. Jihoon looks out over the lake, his eyes opened as wide as they can go and flickering around ceaselessly. And there it was, what looked like a tail snapping out of the water and coming down quickly on the surface, creating a resounding smack as it went through. It was beautiful, an electric blue not unlike that of his mother’s eyes, but even more radiant as it had gleamed in the sun. It had been thin, but obviously strong and Jihoon feels a shiver go through his body at the thought that the tail alone would probably be enough to pull him under the water surface and keep him there.Jihoon had heard tales of the lakedwellers ever since he was a youngling, fierce and strong creatures that guarded their dwellings with force and trickery both. Exceptionally beautiful where they said to be, and Jihoon would have to agree that part was true, even if all he had seen so far was the tip of a tail in the blink of an eye.For minutes he waits, longing for only another glance at the creature, when suddenly it comes jumping out of the water only a branch length in front of him, a head topped with black hair, strong shoulders and a defined chest tapering into a small waist and leading to thick thighs and calves and that tail, its scaly surface gleaming in the sun just as before, and then it disappears once again, a backwards somersault leading it head first back into the lake. It is over within seconds and after it is gone Jihoon is left hanging from his branch by one hand and looking desperately around as his wings refuse to work and his hold grow weaker and weaker until he falls, not from loosing his grip but because he suddenly has no grip. He closes his eyes for the fall into the water, but when it comes and he is surrounded by blue and he can’t breathe, he feels nothing. No cold, no wetness flattening his clothes and his hair. He can barely feel the currents around him and when he grabs for the rocks on the lake bottom his hand floats through as if it is made of gas. He starts to panic, choking on water as it enters his lungs when suddenly there are hands reaching for his waist, slipping through at the first try and grabbing hold of him on the second, and then those hands are lifting him up and soon enough Jihoon is on his back in the grass, breathing quickly and wringing his own hands together restlessly. A hand covers his, but after a moment it falls through and lands with a smack on his wet chest and Jihoon’s head shoots to the right and there he is. His face is handsome even crinkled in concern and it leaves a lump in Jihoon’s throat that is hard to swallow. Black eyes, that strangely seem to flicker yellow, and a sharp tooth digging into the male’s lower lip draws his attention and unconsciously a hand lifts from Jihoon’s chest and stretches out towards that face hovering above him. It freezes in mid air when Jihoon notices how he can see straight through his hand at the other male and dread fills him at once. He has heard about this, when he was a youngling he thought it was just a scary story the adults told them to keep them from wandering off, but as he watches his hand fade in front of his eyes he knows it is no wives’ tale, being this far away from his tree has him slowly fading. Eventually there will be nothing left of him. Panicked, Jihoon struggles to his feet, and shaking his wings to rid them of water he shoots a last look at the lakedweller and stumbles out a thank you before he flies off through the trees, heading back home. His breath is laboured, rattling in his chest, but for every tree he passes he feels stronger and when he can again hear the clamour from the glade his hands are no longer transparent and when they land on a branch they don’t go through, but holds on and hold his weight as he flings himself around. He floats slowly down to land softly in the grass a few trees away from the glade and waits until his blood slows down and his breath steadies before walking quietly across the glade to his tree on the other side. Younglings flock around him as he walks, but they quickly loose interest and flit off to hide in the flowers and the tall grass. Jihoon wishes he could be as small right now so that he could hide from his mother’s dulling eyes and gather himself in peace, but that is not to be as the female is already making her way towards him, eyes scanning him from head to toe, and Jihoon can only guess at how drained he must seem to put that look on her face. She doesn’t say anything when they are finally face to face, she only takes his hands in hers and rests her forehead against his and the air crackles around them as waves of energy flow through their bond and reinvigorates Jihoon’s body. “You should not wander so far from your tree Jihoon,” she scolds quietly and then that is that, and she allows him to sleep off the rest of the uncomfortable exhaustion amongst the red leaves of his maple tree until evening comes and the glade lights up with glowing faerie wings and fireflies and it is finally dinner time. * He knows it’s foolish, not only that, it is also dangerous, but the temptation is too much and only two days later Jihoon is once again flitting through the trees to the beautiful blue lake with the equally beautiful tailed creature. It is only proper, he reasons, that he return and really thank the male for saving his life. In the back of his mind he admits that he really only wants to see him again, and he would have gone either way. He sits in the same tree branch as before, scanning the lake for any sign of the male and periodically checking his hand to see if he is fading yet. Just as he thinks he should go back a head pops out of the water right beneath him and a voice calls out to him.“Do you think you should be out here?” the lakedweller asks and Jihoon soaks in his voice, slightly deep but smooth like the water and there is concern in his voice, just as there is worry in his bright yellow eyes. Jihoon takes another look, but indeed, his eyes are a sparking yellow and nothing like the bottomless black they were the other day. Jihoon gulps down the saliva in his mouth and floats down to sit on his knees in the grass at the edge of the lake. “I wanted to thank you” he says, “properly I mean, for saving my life.” His voice is quiet, and abnormally soft and it startles Jihoon a little. The lakedweller smiles at him and his yellow eyes light up and it seems as if sparks of energy will come jumping out of them any moment. “You are very welcome” he says and takes one of Jihoon’s hands in his. Jihoon jumps at the action and almost draws his hand back, but then the male continues talking, “you’re not translucent today.” He squeezes Jihoon’s hand in his and then lets it go and Jihoon can barely whisper out “I haven’t been here long enough yet,” with his heart beating quickly in his chest and his mouth watering as he rubs his hand on his thigh. The other male notices and his face twists in a regretful smile, showing his sharp teeth, and with one hand rubbing the back of his head he apologises, “sorry, my hands must be cold to you.” Jihoon’s eyes widen a smidge and he waves his hands in front of him and shakes his head, but no words come out and instead they end up sharing an embarrassed laugh and looks at anything but each other for several seconds. “My name is Seungcheol” the other male offers suddenly and when Jihoon rests his eyes on him again he is smiling gently although there is a slight blush on his cheeks still. “Jihoon” he whispers back and they share a less shy smile this time. Seungcheol opens his mouth just as his eyes flit down to Jihoon’s hands and whatever he meant to say is left unspoken as he sees Jihoon’s hands starting to fade. It’s slower and with regret this time that Jihoon leaves the lake, and as he flies slowly through the trees he sends looks over his shoulder long after the lake is out of sight. * For the next two months Jihoon travels to the lake every day and every day Seungcheol is already there waiting for him. They have become comfortable with each other now, closer than Jihoon knows is smart, but when Seungcheol uses his strong arms to pull himself up to sit in the grass alongside Jihoon the faerie can’t help but let his eyes run over his naked body. And when Seungcheol only leans back to invite him to look Jihoon can never resist. He has learnt so much about the older male in this time, has learnt more about his race than probably any other faerie ever has. He knows now, that they are called sprites, not lakedwellers, and that their expected life span is about the same as faeries, if not a little longer. He has learned that Seungcheol, as with all sprites, have no shame in showing off his body as every sprite goes through life as naked as they came into it, and Jihoon appreciates that part of their culture quite a lot.  He has also learned that Seungcheol’s tail twitches quite strongly when he is embarrassed or tickled, and that he laughs loudly with his head thrown back and he makes weird faces to get Jihoon to laugh and acts cute way too much. He is also very caring, always looking out for Jihoon and he is always the first to notice when his hands start to pale.This day Jihoon is a little nervous, more reminiscent of the first days when they were getting to know each other, but it is not unfounded. The day before Seungcheol kissed him for the first time, and now it feels brand new again, and in a way their relationship is brand new again. So as he hesitates behind the last tree, his fingers resting at his lips and his eyes set on Seungcheol’s back, Jihoon gathers his thoughts and his courage and decides on what to do. With his back straight he floats over to Seungcheol and lands softly on his knees beside him and when Seungcheol turns his head to greet him Jihoon leans in quickly, before he can change his mind, and presses a kiss to the other’s lips. At least he tries to, but in his haste it ends up being a collision of noses and only a slight brush of lips and he is left absolutely mortified as Seungcheol chuckles in amusement. Normally Jihoon would retreat after such a failure, but Seungcheol is looking at him with nothing but utter fondness and so he takes a breath and leans in once again, slowly this time with his eyes glued to Seungcheol’s nose so he can avoid it this time, and finally their lips meet in the soft kiss Jihoon had intended. They separate with identical blushes on their cheeks and bashful smiles on their lips and then they sit quietly side by side with their hands entwined in the grass between them. Seungcheol’s legs are stretched out into the water, his toes just breaking the surface, and Jihoon moves his own legs from under him, wings flapping thoughtlessly to lift him an inch above the ground, and then his own feet are swirling in the water as well. His legs are far shorter than Seungcheol’s, but they still manage to tangle their legs together, Jihoon’s left and Seungcheol’s right, and then Seungcheol’s tail curls around their calves and keep them locked together.With their legs entangled and their hands entwined and Jihoon’s head resting on Seungcheol’s shoulder they watch the sun slowly set below the trees. Only when Seungcheol’s tail snaps through Jihoon’s leg do either of them move, Jihoon’s wings flapping to hold him up when his legs no longer can and with a soft kiss he floats back into the trees and Seungcheol slips back into the water and they go their separate ways, already longing for tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and with it buds a grey storm, dark clouds blocking out the sunlight, the wind rustling the branches and pulling leaves off in its strength and thunder rumbles in the distance. Jihoon isn’t supposed to be out now, he is meant to be melded into his tree to sleep through the storm, instead he is struggling against the gripping wind to get to the place he feels he needs to be. It’s nothing he can explain, but the need to see Seungcheol feels different than before.When he reaches the lake and the trees open up around him, the wind is suddenly loud in his ears and it tears and pulls at him in the same way it plays with the thinnest twigs of a tree and he is almost blown away just as a hand grabs for his and pulls him down. Seungcheol is there, lower body still in the lake, but his strength makes a pillar for Jihoon and when the faerie is finally flat on his stomach in the wet grass, they come face to face with matching eyes shining with worry. Seungcheol’s eyes are a deep black today, just like they were that first day they met and Jihoon knows he should not have come out here. But Seungcheol was still waiting for him.“You should go back Jihoon” he says loudly over the wind, mouth pressed against Jihoon’s ear and fingers holding tight at his waist. Jihoon slides his arms under Seungcheol’s armpits and wraps them around his back and instead of answering he finds Seungcheol’s lips with his own and kisses him long and hard. Seungcheol doesn’t hesitate, one hand glides up Jihoon’s back to cup the back of his head and Seungcheol’s fingers bury deep in his pink hair as he tilts his head and kisses back with just as much fervour and passion. Then he pushes the small faerie away, looks him in the eyes and their gazes say more than their mouths ever have before and then he sends Jihoon away back into the trees. Seungcheol stays on the surface until Jihoon is far out of sight and then he dives underneath the water and swims towards the middle of the lake where the water is deepest. His people will huddle there until the storm is over, and Seungcheol can only hope he will see Jihoon with the same look in his eyes once it is. * Seungcheol doesn’t sleep, he spends days lying amongst the sea grass looking up at the water surface rolling and crashing in distress. He sees the currents get stronger and then ebb, get stronger and ebb again until they shift. The unusual pull of the water spikes his interest, but he knows better than to move until the storm has calmed down. He has a pretty good idea anyway, he had felt the earth tremor minutes before and would say the river must have been blocked by a mudslide, it happened a lot. The direction of the new currents made him worry though, they followed the path Jihoon always came and went. He can do nothing but hope for the best though, and crossing his fingers that Jihoon’s tree match the faerie in strength.The thought of the pink haired faerie did put a smile on his face, and the memory of their last kiss swam to the surface of his mind. It had left him feeling satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time as he finds himself dreaming about Jihoon’s soft lips and his fresh taste and wishing to experience it again. He feels warm suddenly, in the way he would be floating on the surface on a summer day with the sun shining on him, and he wonders at the fact that a mere thought of a tree faerie could make him like this. One of that lively, restless and fickle race so unlike anything he had been raised to be, but Jihoon was unlike anything he had imagined and Seungcheol sometimes imagines he had fallen in love on that very first day, when Jihoon came with soft words and a shy, blushing face and warm hands. He can still hear his careful words of gratitude and his whispered reveal of his name, so soft and sweet. Seungcheol knows, however, that what he fell in love with was the spunk and the fire and wit that came afterwards. How Jihoon can be so soft and so strong at the same time. It is his beautiful smile and his sharp finger poking him in the side whenever he said something silly, his loud laugh that is always at Seungcheol’s expense and his soft breathy giggle when he doesn’t know what to say or when he feels embarrassed by something Seungcheol did.The storm is really picking up on the surface, strong winds causing currents in the water that he can feel even so far down. Most of his kin is already seeking shelter in between the rocks where the mountain grows from the lakebed, but Seungcheol likes the pull of the currents and only grips hold of the sea grass he’s resting on, his thoughts still on Jihoon. * It is midday on the next day when the storm finally stills. Seungcheol swims cautiously out from the crack in the stony wall he had been forced to fit himself into some hours back and when he sees the calm of the water surface above him he pushes off with his feet and swims faster than he ever has before.The sight that greets him leaves him wide eyed and gasping for air, turning and turning in the water to see the destruction on every side of him. To the east where the river used to run downwards there are no more trees and the ground is several feet higher and a dirty brown. To the west trees have been knocked over and uprooted to a point there are more trees in a horizontal position than their natural vertical stance. From the mountain in the north the waterfalls that used to flow gently in two thin streams is now five rushing falls driving more water into the lake than the lake can hold, and in front of him, just as he thought, the lake has overrun and a wide river has formed, running steadily southwards. There is no doubt now that it must reach as far as to the faerie’s clearing, Jihoon told him it’s no more than a hundred trees south of the lake, and by the destruction around him Seungcheol imagines an even worse scene to be found there. With the image in his mind of uprooted tress, uprooted homes, and Jihoon laying lifeless somewhere, Seungcheol sets off down the river at a speed he didn’t think he possessed. The river is rather shallow and difficult to navigate and Seungcheol feels scratched and beaten by the time he hears the distressed voices of faeries ahead of him. He pops his head out of the water and looks around, trying not to bring attention to himself.Tiny faeries that could fit in his hand whizz around, singing and humming loudly, but where he imagined they usually would sound cheery and playful their song is sad and distressed and confused and it gives him a sinking feeling that something is terribly wrong. Larger, fully grown faeries is stood around on top of felled trees and turning in circles amongst the rubble and despairing loudly over the flowing river crossing straight through their home, none of them seeming able to wrap their mind around what has happened.“You!” someone shouts suddenly and Seungcheol turns to the sound to find a group of faeries staring at him with their faces red in anger. “Destroyer! Get out of here!”Seungcheol shakes his head confused, his eyes flitting back and forth from one faerie to another as more of them gathers on the river bank, all of them pointing at him and shooing at him and calling him Destroyer. What are they talking about? Did they think he was the cause of this? Seungcheol tries to explain himself, tell them he was not to blame, but his stuttered words and his expressive face that tells of his panicking feelings only serves to anger the faeries even more. The little ones’ flitter around his head, flying kamikaze-like at his forehead and the grown ones throw dirt and stones into the water around him and poke at him with sticks from the ground.“Wait, wait!” he calls out and rises from the water and in an instant everyone freezes. Seungcheol knows he is bigger than all of them, faeries in general aren’t very big, and he must seem pretty intimidating to them to stop them so completely, so he raises his hands in front of him in a peaceful gesture and lowers his body back into the water until he is sitting on his knees on the uneven ground. When he talks again his voice is steady and calm.“I realise how confused you must be, but what has happened to your home was not any fault of mine or any of my people, nor is this destruction confined only to your home. The entire forest is a victim.” The faeries around him had slowly lowered their arms as he spoke, but the little ones still flit around him, occasionally pulling at his hair or his ears or poking the scales on his spine, but it seems to be more curiosity than animosity that drives them now. Seungcheol takes a breath and when the faeries remain quiet he asks what he most wants to know, “does anyone know where Jihoon is?” The pink-haired faerie is nowhere to be seen and as he voices his concern some look around in bewilderment while others lower their heads in grief, a female faerie sitting balanced on a branch of one of the surviving trees sobs loudly and slumps against another female sitting beside her. Seungcheol feels dread fill him at the sorely unwanted response and his whole body shudders as his mouth dries up and all his breath leaves his lungs. He looks around frantically for a sign of pink hair and pale skin and pink glowing eyes, but he finds nothing but green and brown and rushing water and saddened faces and utter destruction.“Jihoon,” a male faerie steps up to the river bank and says, ”he never made it back. I kept a look out, but by the time the force of nature’s winds was upon us there was still no sign of him.” Seungcheol stays no longer than to hear the male’s words and then he sets off back up the river, this time swimming with his head above the water and looking to either side for any sign of the pink-haired faerie. If Jihoon didn’t make it back, he must have been taken by the wind somewhere between the settlement and the lake. He’s too heavy for the wind to have carried him far, but he could have been knocked unconscious or trapped by fallen trees. Either way he obviously needed help. Seungcheol swims the length of the river several times without luck, the sky slowly darkening and time quickly running out. He knows he has to find Jihoon before he looses daylight or he might loose him forever, but there is no sign of him anywhere near the river banks. Gritting his teeth Seungcheol lifts himself out of the river and with clenched fists pushes onto his feet and starts off into the trees. From what he remembers of the currents during the storm he guesses the wind must have blown in a south-west direction and so that is where he starts.Every step he takes feels like knives through the soles of his feet and the pain brings him to his knees several times, but he pushes on determined to not give in and to not give up. Jihoon had stayed longer than he should because of him, he weakened himself over and over every time just to see him, and Seungcheol would repay his sacrifice here and not stop looking until he found him.His tail is hard and dry wrapped around his thigh and the scales down his spine and one the top of his hands and feet are starting to itch and flake. He is not supposed to be out of the water at all, and certainly not for this long, but there is still no sign of Jihoon. Another minute passes as his breath comes short and the pain in his feet makes his vision hazy when suddenly a flash of pink amongst the green and brown catches his attention. He stumbles as quick as he can towards it and as he comes closer he can make out the small, familiar shape through the tears welling in his eyes. Jihoon is half-buried under slug and broken off tree branches, unconscious but breathing. Seungcheol falls to his knees beside him and starts to dig him out. He takes no time checking for injuries, but rather lifts Jihoon into his arms and struggles to his feet. Several times Jihoon’s weight pulls him to his knees and the pain is even worse than it was before, but the adrenaline rushing in his veins drives him on and to the new-born river. He falls, back first, into the water with Jihoon still in his arms and sobs in relief as the water wraps around him and heals his dried skin and he closes his eyes and breaths deeply until the phantom pain of knives in his feet fades completely. When he feels more like himself again, Seungcheol turns his attention to the lifeless body in his arms. With his mind and his eyes clear he notices the shallow way Jihoon is breathing, and the weird twist of one of his ankles and the blood that colours the water around his head and he wants to cry at Jihoon’s pain, but keeps it in. He knows nothing of faeries physiology, he has no clue how to help Jihoon and so he does the only thing he can do. Standing up with Jihoon held securely in his arms, Seungcheol starts the trip back down the river. * It takes days for the waterfalls to slow down into their usual two thin streams from the mountain top, and when that happens the new southwards river shrinks from the wide unwelcome thing it was and into a better looking one the width of a faerie’s height. The mouth of the old river where the mudslide came down is slowly melting away as the water erodes it quicker than that, but the fallen trees on every side will remain like that and eventually they’ll be overgrown by bush, or chopped into firewood by the rare human who makes it all the way out here.It has been extraordinarily quiet ever since the storm blew over, nothing but sunshine and warmth and rapidly stifling summer air. Seungcheol has taken to seeking shelter from the sun in the shadow of the trees on either side of the new river, floating on his back with his eyes closed as his fingers sift through the grass that makes the river bed. The river has gotten very shallow, but it is still deep enough for him to swim in. Around him he hears nothing but the birds chirping and chipmunks scurrying up a tree trunk and the water softly slapping against him in his own currents. There is no wind to move neither trees or grass nor the water around him and the sun tickles his face when its rays sneak through the canopy of the forest. A drop of water lands suddenly right on his nose, followed by another on his right cheek and then a couple more on his mouth. Seungcheol hums and moves his arms out from his body and then back and his body floats gently further down the river. There is a slight rustle in the trees above him, but as he stills everything quiets down again. After only a moment another drop of water lands right on his forehead and his eyes snap open to look up and right into glowing pink eyes not even an inch away. Slowly his eyes travel down a round face to curved lips stretched in a gentle smile, and then up to soft pink hair and even further up to a pale hand holding a green leaf filled with lake water and slowly dripping into his face. Jihoon’s body is stretched out on top of his, almost but not quite touching and his wings are flapping quietly to keep him afloat. Seungcheol smiles up at him and lifts his head to capture those tempting lips in a kiss and as he does all of Jihoon’s weight suddenly falls onto him as the faerie gives up on keeping himself afloat. They giggle into the kiss and Jihoon’s hands find Seungcheol’s under the water and their fingers tangle together in the grass and from now on, neither of them will worry about Jihoon fading away.   The End