Chapter VI (1/1)

It had to have been at least a month since you last saw Jongup, but you had stopped counting the days. Your job, your friends, and life in general had taken your attention, and you found yourself missing him less every day. Most days, you forgot the relationship existed. Kangdae had become your closest friend, and you found him filling the spot in which your boyfriend once belonged. Such realizations made you uncomfortable. Was it time to say goodbye?

You loved him. But with interviews and practices, performances and fans, your boyfriend no longer existed.*Kangdae opened the door slowly, and you walked in with hesitant steps.“Is everything alright? You haven’t answered your phone so I was a little worried…” You nearly gasped when you turned to face him.“Have you been crying? What happened? Are you okay?” Clenching your hands tight around his shoulders, you shook violently and stared at the heavy shadows under his eyes. He hesitated, his voice soft like that of a child.“It’s nothing.” He seemed cold, uncomfortable even. You scoffed and stared at him certainly.“Like hell it’s nothing. What happened?” Scowling, Kangdae sat on the couch and wrung his hands tightly together.“My father died last night. I’m not sad about it.” You sighed, falling into an armchair next to him.“I’m so sorry! I really…I’m sorry.” He shrugged.“Don’t be. I barely knew the guy.”“That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be upset.”“I guess. I just wish we had liked each other. I wish I could feel upset about it, and that’s what makes me upset.” Out of words to say, you stood up and sat next to him on the couch. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, letting his dark hair sink into your face as he rested his chin on your shoulder. A few wordless minutes passed before he looked up, staring at your eyes with an unreadable expression. Leaning close, his lips grazed yours lightly. You didn’t flinch, but let him sigh over your frown before drawing back into his shell.*Dropping your bag on the hardwood floor with a loud sound, you walked into his practice room unannounced. Jongup was alone, practicing by himself before the rest of his group arrived.“I kissed Kangdae.” You didn’t dart around the truth, not about to lead him to believe your friendship hadn’t been growing into something more significant. He looked startled, but a slow sadness crept darkly in the rings of his eyes.“Oh. I guess…There’s not much I can do. I wasn’t a very good boyfriend.” You sighed, all the confidence and words you had planned flowing out your ears.“I didn’t like it. It wasn’t right.” There was an uncomfortable pause. “He isn’t you.” His expression grew indifferent, cold to your confession.“If you think this is going to make me drop everything to spend more time with you…” You stood up straight, fire in your stature.“I’m not that selfish! I’m telling you the truth because you deserve it. Because I love you and I’m realizing that for this relationship to have even a fragment of a chance we need to work on it. If you aren’t willing to put forth the little effort I’m asking of you, I completely understand. It won’t hurt my feelings, you just need to tell me.” He walked forward, tentatively placing his hands on your elbows.“I love you. But this is really hard.” His natural shyness was grabbing at his throat, his words soft and the ever-present smile long since faded. “I just don’t know.” His hands were shaking slightly, and he kneaded them together until a thin film of sweat has slicked the surface of his skin. You noticed his vulnerability, little cues betraying the uncomfortable conflict beneath the surface.“Can’t we try again?” He tried to nod, his head shaking in an unreadable direction.“But Kangdae. You love him, don’t you?” This question was confusing, probing into feelings you hadn’t quite understood.“I do love him. But I don’t think I’m in love with him. I told you, it didn’t feel right. No matter how hard I try, he isn’t you.” Your boyfriend walked closer to you, tightening his arms around your ribs. He held you tightly for a moment, as though any weakness in his arms might allow you to slip away.“We’ll fix this, I promise.”*“I can’t do this,” Kangdae said, standing up to run his fingers violently through his hair. “I can’t.” You nodded, still holding your purse from when you sat down to talk just a moment ago.“That’s why I came. I’m not going to break up with Jongup. We’re going to work things out.” He nodded, a strange satisfaction in his reaction.“Good, because I really don’t think this would work. I can’t see you as anything but his, if you want my honest opinion.” Still nodding, you stood to offer him a friendly hug.“I’m still here for you. You’re still my best friend.” He smiled, leaning back to look in your eyes.“I just want all of us to be happy.” Smiling, you elbowed him lightly in the ribs.“You know that pretty waitress at the café you wanted to wait your table instead?” Kangdae closed his eyes a moment, trying to remember. “She’s one of my closest friends. And she’s single.” He understood your hint, nodding at your offer.“Okay, sure. I’ll meet her.” Happy, you hugged him again. For the first time in forever, everything had fallen back into place.A/N: This wasn't the original ending I chose, but I decided to go with something happier than I wasn intending to write before. I hope you guys still liked it!