Sadness, missing, regrett (1/2)

Author’s Pov

She fall. She cry. She regret.

“Move on”

His words keep replaying back to back in her minds.

Move on? She want to move on. But his vision keep playing in her minds.

She was quiet, she didn’t speak even one word. Even Jungkook try to chat with her but end up frustrating when she didn’t even respond. She just stare at his picture during his funeral.

BTS come to visit it too. And they seem surprise seeing Leo that was trying to comfort her and manage her.

“Gyeoul…” Mrs Lee call her and give her a boxes.

“This is all his things. I give it to you because I don’t want you to forget him. Move on doesn’t mean you have to forget all your memories with him, it means you live your life better than before. Past makes us better when it comes to future.” She stroke her hair and hug her.

“Gyeoul…” She broke the hug and turn around. Looking at Mr Lee Honggi, his father.

She bow at him showing her respect.

“I’m sorry.”

She smile.

“At least he happy knowing that he will never married Hyosung. Everything is happened now, we can’t turn back time. Only regret, that’s what we can do now.” She walk away with a boxes that his mom’s give it to her.

“Gyeoul!” She turn back and saw Bangtan kids was following her.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook ask her.

“Home.”

“Do you want me to send you home?” Rapmon ask her but she just refuse.

“Sorry but I want to be alone right now.”

Gyeoul’s Pov

Its been two days since Hongbin dies. I ditch school, I lost my appetite. But I can’t ditch work. I walk to my room and put the boxes on the table. I sigh and open the boxes. Lots of his stuff. Such as notebook, smart phone, even his t-shirt, and a letter. I take the letter.

: For Shin Hae Gyeoul :

I frown and open it.

Dear my sunshines,

When you read this letter, I probably have married or I probably have died. I’m sorry, I can’t keep my promises to be with you forever. Yes my body is not with you, but you have my soul. Our heartbeat are the same, and you should know that. When I’m gone, you should move on. I don’t want to see you suffer because of me. Because seeing you hurt, it hurts me more.

My soul are always be with you, your soul is music, then I am the music. Do whatever you do Gyeoul, but don’t leave the music, if you leave, it’s the same like you leave me. Live your life, cause I always be with you.

Farewell

Hongbin

I close the letter and tears fell down on my cheek. I don’t know why I’m being this weak.

I sigh and stand up.

“Okay Gyeoul! You can’t be this weak! He already told you that you have to move on! So move on! Fighting!”

I take the boxes and put it under my table and walk outside. Just then I stop and turn around. I run to the boxes and open it.

I look at the iphone 6 and take it. The screen is already broken. Probably because of the accident.

Forget it, just move on.

And it doesn’t mean I already forget about him.

I wipe my tears and walk outside.

As I walk out of the room, i bumped into someone and his things got messed on the floor.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

I pick up his things.

“Gyeoul?” I look up and it was Myungsoo.

“Oh hey Myungsoo, what are you doing here?”

“Practicing… but hey do you have free time now?”

“Mmm yeah.”

“Follow me then.” He takes my hand and run to the practice room and we seat on the corner of the room. He takes his earphone and put it on my ears.

“Just listen.”

We lean on the wall. He turn on the song I’m fine thank you by Ladies Code. I look at him.

“Why are you turning on this song?”

He chuckled.

“I think its probably can help you to move on.”

I smile and just listen to the song.I call out to you like a fool

Some day, you’ll see me too

I wait for a long time while tears well up

Like this, another day passes

Just for today, I cry

Be happy forever, good bye

It’s okay if you think of me and smile sometimes

I’m fine thank you

Thank you “Good job Myungsoo! I feel better after listen to this song.” I say and smile to him.

“Yah, I already got a stage name. My name is now ‘L’.”

I frown. L?

“L stand for what?”

“Its from the character “L” in the manga “Deathnote“. I sounds and use to look like him in my first trainee days because of my long hair.” “But now you already cut your hair.”

He give me his blank stares.

“Just listen to this song please?”