Chapter Seventy-eight (1/1)

Dinner came by, and the kids returned home.  Waiting on dinner to be finished, they all sit in the seating room.  Jeonghan tapped on the armrest and looked at Joshua nonchalantly. He cleared his throat, earning a side glare from Seungcheol. "Have you heard anything from Jae?  He's going to be coming over tomorrow."  Jeonghan brought up, making the boy sitting on the floor on his phone look up at him. "No, we haven't spoken this week."  Joshua stated. Jeonghan hummed.  "He's been calling me every day.."  He said, earning a huff from Joshua. "Good for you. Maybe next you'll say Cheol is letting you sleep with him in Seoul."  He put his phone on the floor. Jeonghan laughed twice.  "He's been skipping classes to tell me how much he's depressed."  He stated, making Joshua stop smirking. "What?"  He saw the other kids gained interest. Even Mingyu stepped out of the kitchen to listen.  "Oh yeah, he spent an hour today crying while he was supposed to be taking an exam."  Jeonghan raised an eyebrow.  "He's guilty for making you so mad last week."  He continued. "He called you too then?"  Seungcheol said.  "He called me yesterday when I was in a meeting.  I had to step out because he wanted advice.  He really thinks you hate him, Josh."  He looked at the boy. Joshua looked down and shook his head.  "I don't hate him.  I'm upset, but I don't hate him."  He muttered. Jeonghan cracked his neck.  "Well the house will be fairly empty tomorrow.  Tell your boss you'll be staying home so you can talk to Jaemin."  He instructed. "What will we be doing tomorrow?"  Vernon asked, interested in his tasks for tomorrow. "I'm going to pick out the flooring Wonwoo wants while you clean the mess in the oven."  Jeonghan answered.

Mingyu raised an eyebrow.  "What mess?"  He asked. "You've been away from your cooking for ten minutes,"  He pointed, "don't you smell the lasagna burning on the oven floor?"  He asked. Mingyu widened his eyes.  "Oh shit."  He ran into the kitchen.  He pouted his lip as he saw the mess.  "Looks like we're having ramen for dinner!"  He shouted.

Jeonghan shook his head with a smirk.  He turned to Joshua.  "He's coming in the morning, so be prepared to talk to him.  I want any misunderstandings cleared up, okay?  You love him, right?"  He asked. Joshua nodded with a worried expression.  "Make sure he knows that."  Jeonghan said.  "Because right now, he's at his lowest.  He feels alone and broken."  He said seriously.

Joshua looked down at the carpet.  He drew unnamed shapes on the carpet while imagining Jaemin's red, wet face.  He hid his face in his knees as he imagined that always-happy face turn so sad.  Failed exams..?  He's going to have to pay to retake them.  Guilt settled in his stomach and he quietly bowed before going upstairs.  He fought not calling Jaemin.  "No.. This is best in person."  He put his phone in his nightstand.

*** Joshua paced back and forth in his room.  He breathed in and out as he went over what he wanted to say to Jaemin.  "I don't hate you, I'm just not ready for kids."  He said with hand motions.  "You don't understand, I'm not just going to sit here and take care of kids, I'm not like that. "DK can have fun doing that all day.  Hell, Woozi would be okay with it too as long as he can still play the piano."  Joshua said to no one.  "There's more to life than just breeding!  We're not animals, we need to do other things too. "I'm just not ready, okay?"  He looked in the mirror.  "Sometimes I just want to yell at you and tell you to listen to me."  He said angrily.

"Yell at me then."

Joshua widened his eyes and turned around.  "Jae-"  He looked at the male. Jaemin's eyes were red and puffy.  His lips were swollen too.  Joshua can tell that the boy had been crying all night.  "You want me to listen to you?  I'll listen to your yelling all day."  Jaemin said, tossing his jacket to the floor and leaning against the wall. Joshua looked at him up and down.  "We're not having kids yet, I don't understand why you're asking my parents for advice."  He stated. "Josh, you said it yourself.  Growing up as a stork kid, it's so different compared to regular kids."  Jaemin said.  "Jeonghan stressed it so much that he wanted me to be learned before even thinking about starting a family.  I'm preparing for the future."  He said. Joshua looked away for a moment.  "What, are you planning on us not having any at all?  If so, please tell me now so I know." "Why are you putting words in my mouth?!"  Joshua asked angrily. Jaemin narrowed his eyes.  "Maybe you should speak instead of making me talk for you then."  He had the same tone. "Maybe if you were to shut up for five seconds, I could actually get my thoughts out!"  Joshua yelled at him. Jaemin nodded.  "So you're saying I talk too much?"  He asked. "There you go putting words in my mouth again."  Joshua said with a sarcastic laugh. Jaemin put his hands up.  "What am I supposed to think when you tell me to shut up?!"  He asked. Joshua closed his eyes and clenched his fists.  "Just.. be quiet for a minute."  He breathed out. Jaemin nodded.  "You know what? I think you're just afraid."  He said. Joshua was speechless, watching Jaemin inch closer.  "You've always been afraid.  You were afraid to tell me you were a stork kid."  He said.  "You were afraid for your father finding out we were dating. "Now you're afraid of having kids."  He said.  "You don't have faith in me at all, do you?  He sighed, holding Joshua's cheek. Joshua furrowed his eyebrows.  "You've been afraid ever since you were a kid.. With growing up, you were afraid at each phase."  Jaemin continued, thumbing the boy's cheeks. Joshua nodded slightly.  "Fine, you figured me out.  I'm afraid of a lot of things."  He whispered.  "So go find a boy who won't be afraid of anything.."  He said. Jaemin shook his head and put his arm around Joshua's waist.  He held Joshua firmly while still having a hand on Joshua's cheek.  "It's natural to have a fear of things, Joshua.. I just wish that you weren't afraid of me."  He whispered as he leaned closer.

Joshua pouted and watched Jaemin's eyes.  "Did you really cry for an hour yesterday..?"  He asked. "For the time I was on the phone with your parents?  Yes.. but collectively, I did more crying than studying this week."  He said honestly.  "I don't hate you,"  Joshua pulled him in for a hug, "I just know I'm not ready for kids yet.."  He admitted.  "We have our whole lives ahead of us.."

Jaemin nodded and put his hands up and down Joshua's back.  "I know, I just want to be well-prepared."  He said softly.  "I want to open the door to see our beautiful little life, and know exactly how to take care of him.  I want him to have such an amazing time growing up and learning. "I want him to be happy, Josh.."  He confessed.  "And we've made love many times without protection, the stork might be on his way with a baby right now.  I want to be prepared."  He said. Joshua closed his eyes, realizing that the boy is right.  "We should learn these things together then.."  He muttered. "I wanted it to be like that,"  Jaemin said, gently putting Joshua on the boy's bed, "I wanted to figure out these things together.  I wanted us to prepare together."  He smiled sadly. "Why didn't you tell me?"  Joshua asked, letting the male stay close to him as they lay down together. Jaemin sighed and played with Joshua's dangling earring.  "When I brought it up, you just dismissed it and went back to working on the cafe order..  So I figured if I learned slowly, it wouldn't be too bad. "I would call Jeonghan once or twice a week if I had a question about the babies.  And then I would call Seungcheol for relationship advice.. say if we go into a big argument."  He gave an example.  Joshua chuckled a bit.  "I figured your soft-talking came from Cheol-dad.."  He looked into Jaemin's eyes.  "I'm sorry I made this so dramatic.."  He held Jaemin's hand. Jaemin sighed and kissed the older's forehead.  "You're afraid that I'll leave you when you're at your weakest, aren't you?"  He asked. Joshua pursed his lips with a slow nod.  "I understand.. With the way we are right now, it's easy enough to find love in a different person. "I'm in Seoul and could date someone without your knowledge; and you're in Incheon, meeting many boys and girls every day at the cafe.  It's easy to get disinterested with a person you barely see.."  Jaemin sympathized. Joshua hummed.  "Exactly.. it's been on my mind recently."  He admitted. Jaemin sighed.  "I wanted to wait until after I graduated, but I want you to have assurance that I'm yours and only yours."  He moved their hands to kiss Joshua's hand.  "Will you be mine forever?"  Joshua widened his eyes.  "What?"  He sat up abruptly.  Jaemin followed suit and held Joshua's hands.  "Will you be mine forever?"  He asked again. "Are.. you proposing to me right now?"  Joshua asked with an amazed smile. Jaemin smiled back, making Joshua smile brighter.  "Seriously?!"  He asked. "I might not have a ring, but-"  Jaemin was cut off by Joshua attack-hugging him. He moaned in pain as Joshua held him tightly.  "Yes, of course!  I.."  He pulled back a bit.  "But Jeonghan.." Jaemin chuckled.  "They told me I could decide whenever to propose to you."  He pulled the boy back on him.  "I've learned my lesson from keeping things a secret from them."  He closed his eyes as he felt the familiar warmth spread across his body. Joshua didn't fight the cuddle Jaemin put them in.  He liked the way Jaemin held him close and how the kisses were sweet and innocent.  He rests his chin on the younger's shoulder.  "I also want it to where both of his parents are home for him,"  He whispered, "it was hard growing up with basically one dad.."  Jaemin hummed, rubbing small circles on the boy's back.  "I'll make it so there's no chance of him feeling that, I promise."  He said.  "It almost felt like I was on my own too.. I always stayed out late and never got to see my parents.  I felt like I was a burden on them."  Joshua stayed silent.  He's used to hearing that the parents aren't ever around, but the whole situation changes when the child isn't ever around.  "I stayed in school late to study and do my homework because I didn't want to remind my mom at every dinner that her life was ruined because of me."  He admitted.  "Now I wish I spent more time with her, Josh.. her eyesight is almost gone.. "I promise that our little one will never know what it's like to have no parents."  Jaemin vowed.  "Whether I have to quit school or bring him and you with me, he will never know the pain we've been through."  He pulled back to smile at Joshua. Joshua wiped a tear and pulled the boy in for a kiss.  "I hate it when you get serious like this.."  Joshua said, hugging the boy tighter.  "Just.. smile like you normally do.  Say fun stuff.. I.."  Jaemin smiled with his tears.  "My classmate accidentally got his foot stuck in cement, but we got him out before it hardened too much."  He said.  "But his shoe is forever in the sidewalk."  He said.

Joshua chuckled a little and let the other get closer in the cuddle.  "Joshua?"  Jaemin said, earning a hum from the other.  "I'll love you tonight."  He said softly. "I would like that."  Joshua closed his eyes.  "Can we take a nap right now?"  He asked. "Definitely.."

*** Hoshi put on the next jacket and leaned back on a wall.  He held the tie and then looked at the camera.  His eyes wander to the girl behind the cameraman, watching him with lovely eyes.  He smiled a bit, adding to the angst vibe of the photo.  He saw her blush a bit and he took this as an opportunity to flirt. He winked at the camera, and he saw her looking away a bit.  With the next outfit, he smiled confidently.  He did a little kissing motion with his hand, and he could swear he saw Jisoo's face get flushed.  She blamed it on the hot weather that she needed to get a drink. It was then break time, and he followed her to the cooler.  He reached for a water bottle, the same one Jisoo was reaching for.  "You have it,"  Hoshi handed it to her, "I'm sure there's another one."  He smiled. She accepted it and watched Hoshi move around the ice.  Unfortunately, there was only tea left.  "Hey, we can share."  She elbowed him. "Oh, but you wouldn't want my tiger cooties in your water."  He chuckled. She giggled and shook her head.  "I was going to suggest pouring it into two cups."  She pointed at the cups in plastic on the table.  "But.. I don't mind sharing it this way."  She blushed. Hoshi could feel his ears turning red.  She watched her take a sip and then handed it to Hoshi.  He chose the other side, and he let it fall into his mouth rather than his lips touching the bottle.  He closed the cap before looking at her.  He cupped her cheek and leaned down a bit. "It would have been an indirect kiss,"  He whispered, "but I don't want our first kiss to be with a water bottle."  He winked, putting the bottle in her hand and leaving her to change.

Jisoo looked down at the bottle with red cheeks.  

Mhm, we see you, Hoshi.  ;))

<3