Chapter Twenty-five (1/2)
Joshua leaned back in his chair, looking at the trees outside. School has been a constant. Once he started when he was young, he was excited. He was happy that he could learn new things, read, and write. He liked knowing what colors made up the rainbow, what the ocean was made out of, and some animals that are common. This was great for the first year of being here, but now he's older. He craves that much-needed summer break that he never gets. Every day it's the same thing. Get up and help with the other kids, eat breakfast, go to school all day, and come back to eat dinner without his older father. With Mingyu added on, Seungcheol found the need to make ends meet more. He feels like he's aging ten years every year instead of five, and even that he doesn't understand. "Joshua," He heard his teacher call, "please sit correctly." She put the chalk down a bit roughly. Joshua bowed his head to her and sat up straight, earning murmurs from the other students. He picked his pencil up and looked at the chalkboard. "You kids are growing up now," She started, "you're going to notice changes in your body." Joshua looked around at the other kids there, and they did the same thing. The girls were getting longer hair and bigger shirts while the boys were starting to get little chin hairs. Just a few months ago she said we were done with training wheels.. He thought. Do normal kids age like this? He looked out the window again, inwardly sighing and pouting. "Joshua." She called out. "Please step outside." She caught his attention. He looked at the eyes that were on him. He started shaking as he walked down the aisle of chairs. One of the kids put his leg out and he didn't notice. "Kris!" She slapped the ruler on her desk.
Some of the other kids laughed as Joshua struggled to stand up. He silently left the classroom and leaned against the wall. Tears started to come by finally. Hearing the teacher continue teaching, he slid down the wall. He put his knees to his chest as he learned about his body. How he's going to get hair in every place and how girls are going to start a fertility cycle. What's going on..? I'm not ready for this.. He admitted to himself. He envisioned his hands hairy like an ape and his arms to be bulky. The class was over and the students stayed inside for class change. The teacher came out and looked down at the shaking boy who still has tears in his eyes. His face is red and his nose is dirty. "Joshua, follow me." She instructed.
He stood up and reached for her hand. She slapped it away and started walking. "You're almost a teenager now, you need to learn to be independent." She said, walking to her office.
He sat down on the chair inside and watched her take her phone from the desk. "I'm going to call your father and tell him to come here." She said. "I'm very disappointed in you, Joshua."
Joshua looked down, thinking about his fathers looking angrily at him. The rage in their eyes and the shaking fists they'll have when they find out that he's causing a disturbance in the classroom. He heard the woman put her phone to her ear and clear her throat. "Mr. Choi," She started, making Joshua's head snap up, knowing that Seungcheol will discipline rougher than Jeonghan, "I know that you're busy, but I need you to come in." Joshua's eyes widened while waiting for her to speak more. "Joshua has been unruly, and I only think it's best if you come and take care of him." The child shakes as the phone call ends. "I hope you know that you're making your father stop working just to see you for your misbehavior." She said upsettingly. Joshua furrowed his eyebrows and whimpered. "I'm sorry.." He apologized. "Save it for when your father gets here." She stood up and went to the door. "Stay in here." She commanded.
Joshua obeyed and sat in his spot. He didn't dare move an inch - not even a centimeter. His stomach turned and his tears didn't stop coming out. He wiped his nose on a tissue from his pocket, but it was quickly used up. His heart rate went quicker when he recognized the deep voice from outside the woman's office. His breathing went faster, his adrenaline pumped faster, and his mind raced to all the possibilities. He doesn't get punished with spankings or shouts. But the thought of making his parents disappointed hurts more than the teacher's slap on the wrist. The door opens and the woman tells Seungcheol to take a seat. The parent looks down at Joshua. "Josh," He instantly knelt in front of the child, "are you okay?" He quickly took the tissues from his pockets. What happened?" He asked worriedly. "Joshua has been acting out in class these past weeks." The teacher started. "I wasn't going to report it, but the students can't seem to ignore the boy's behavior." Seungcheol looked back at the woman. "What did you do to my child to make him cry?" He stood up, walking up to her desk. "I simply told him what he did wrong and told him I would call you to take care of him." She said honestly.
"Daddy," Joshua uttered the first word he's said since she left the office earlier, "I'm so sorry." He fell on his knees. Seungcheol turned around and knelt to the boy. "For what, Josh?" He asked, picking the boy up and putting him on the chair. "What did you do wrong?" He whispered. "Daddy.. why is everything so confusing lately?" He asked in heavy breaths. "Why am I growing up while my friends from town are still babies?" He asked while wiping his nose. "Why am I in school every day while kids from town are enjoying summer break?" He asked. "Why can't I spend more time with my brothers and you?" He asked. Seungcheol raised his eyebrows as the child trembled. "These things distract me, Daddy. They're on my mind more times than chicken. I'm sorry for spacing out and making the other kids annoyed. I'm sorry, Daddy!" He sobbed. "Shh," He picked the child up, "no, no, please don't cry."
Seungcheol stroked Joshua's back in a hug, turning a bit to look back at the shocked teacher. "Josh, please.." The boy got louder. "I'm sorry too," He whispered, putting kisses on Joshua's tear-littered face. "Please don't be mad at me, Daddy." Joshua pleaded. The parent shook his head. "Of course not, Son. I'm not mad at you." He said. "You need to tell us when you have these feelings." He whispered. Joshua put his eyebrows together and watched Seungcheol's eyes. "But.." "Josh, I don't want you feeling depressed here. I want you to be happy, that's my goal for all of you and Jeonghan." He stroked Joshua's dark hair. "And if you're not happy, I'm failing." The child pushed his face into Seungcheol's chest, begging for the hug to get tighter. "It's just so hard, Daddy. I want you to be proud of me." He admitted. "How are you supposed to be proud with me bismehaving?" He mixed the letters.
"Shh, I'll always be proud of you. You're my son, how could I be disappointed when all you're doing is maturing?" He pulled back to make eye contact. "You're growing up, and I want to be here for you during these times."Your siblings are gonna be going through this too. I want you to be strong for them." He said. "How are you supposed to do that if we don't help you through it?" Joshua smiled a bit. "You're not going to punish me?" He asked in a small voice.
"Of course not. But I'm going to take you home now, okay? I'll ask your teachers to send the work, and we'll work on it together." Seungcheol attempted to put the boy on his shoulder, but his growth is what it is.
"You've gotten so big," Seungcheol chuckled and stood up, holding his back, "let's go." He put his hand out for Joshua to hold. Joshua looked down at the hand before looking at his teacher. She looked down apologetically. He hesitated putting his hand with Seungcheol's hand. "I.. want to hug your arm instead." He said in a small mutter.
Seungcheol watched the child latch onto his arm like Jeonghan would do. He patted the boy's head before bowing to the teacher. "Thank you for informing me about Joshua. I'm sorry he disturbed the class. We'll work hard together to not make it happen again." He assured the teacher. She bowed back. "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Mr. Choi." She said before he left.
Seungcheol parked in the driveway and turned to Joshua who was seated in the seat next to him. "It was your first time riding in the passenger's seat, how was it?" Seungcheol asked.
"Traffic looks so different up here.." Joshua replied, turning to Seungcheol.
The parent nodded. "The duty of the passenger is to inform the driver about vehicles or other things on the road that the driver doesn't seem to notice." He taught. "So I want you to be very vigilant when Jeong-daddy is driving." Seungcheol requested with a smile.