Chapter Nineteen (1/2)
The new year comes by and Joshua is excited. He ran around the house as he played with his friends from school. Meanwhile, the other children were either crawling or still in the crib. Woozi is still in the crib. Jeonghan has not forgotten about the child; however, he lets Woozi stay in the bedroom as the party goes on. Seungcheol's parents came by to visit, and his brother too. Jeonghan's family couldn't make it due to having their own party. Celebrating both the new year and Joshua's birthday, the house is full of energy. Jeonghan walks food and drinks to the tables and fixes the decorations that have been accidentally bumped into. He held his back as he watched the children run out of the house to play around the field. Why does this feel like last year? Jeonghan asked himself as he leaned back against a wall in the quiet kitchen. Why does it feel like every other new year party? He sighed as he looked around the kitchen. The door opens and Jeonghan makes eye contact with Seungcheol. Jeonghan gets off of the wall and starts on his way out of the kitchen. "Jeonghan," Seungcheol started, "rest, I'll take care of things." Jeonghan sighed and shook his head. "Go watch Hoshi, he's been acting up lately." He told before exiting the kitchen. Seungcheol obeyed the younger and looked around the house. He heard the tiger roar and followed the sound until he got to the child's room. Hoshi was on his fours, looking at the other children there. "Hoshi, sit." He said teasingly. The pet quickly sat on his butt. "Hi, Daddy!" He waved. Seungcheol watched the other children relax and sit too. "Is my little tiger being good? Hm?" He sat down next to the child. "Dad! I wanna go tu skool to!" He said, breaking up his pronunciation. Seungcheol nodded and kissed Hoshi's head. "You made new friends then?" He looked around the children. "Hoshi's cool!" One jumped up with excitement. The parent nodded and put his hand through the soft locks Hoshi has. "You'll be there soon, don't worry. You and Juni will be enrolling next month." He said. "Oh, Jun.. where is he?" He stood up. An older kid stood up. "I think I saw him in the attic." She said. "Thank you," He waved and walked out of the room, figuring the teenager was watching over the kids well. He walked up to the attic and saw the Chinese child sitting alone. He silently closed the attic door and walked up to Jun. He sat down next to him and looked out the small window Jun was in front of. His attention went to the small sniffle he heard. "Jun?" Junhui's shoulder shrugs slowly and his nose gets the snot up silently. "Daddy.." His lips trembled and he looked at the adult. Seungcheol's heart shatters seeing Junhui's red face. His eyes were red and swollen and his nose was running disgustingly. His lips couldn't keep one position and his cheeks were littered with tears. "Jun," He automatically picked the child up, "what's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked, settling Jun on his lap. "Daddy.. I'm-I'm sad.." He said, looking into Seungcheol's eyes. "Did someone say something? Who hurt you?" He asked, reaching into his pocket and taking a tissue out to help Jun blow his nose. Jun swallowed heavily. "You-you and Jeong-daddy hate each other.." He said, giving no sign of stopping crying. "No, of course not. What gave you that idea, Juni?" He asked, stroking the boy's dark hair. "You and Jeong-daddy don't talk or cuddle anymore.." He said in his heavy breaths. "You never eat togwether, and nevur smile.." His speech was starting to deteriorate. Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows. It was true. Seungcheol hasn't come home for dinner and he leaves before breakfast is served. The two barely talk and they only cuddle in bed. They don't kiss anymore, they never say those words that meant so much to them. Seungcheol's heart has been feeling empty this past month. "I know.." Seungcheol brought the child close to him. "I don't know what to do, Jun.." He admitted to the child. Jun's crying started getting louder and his grip on Seungcheol tightened. "I want Josh to hab a gud day, but I can't smile.." Jun said, holding Seungcheol's clothes tighter. "I'b been up here to not make his day bad.." Seungcheol nodded and rubbed up and down Jun's back. "I would be too.. I feel so horrible, Jun.." He said, not complaining when the child's grib gets even tighter. "I'm a bad father, aren't I? I'm the worst of the worst, Jun.." Jun shook his head. "No, Daddy's the best." He pulled back to look at Seungcheol. "Daddy-cheol is the best daddy, and Jeong-daddy is part of you. You-you bofe are the best." He said, hitting Seungcheol's chest. The little punches hurt. Not physically, but emotionally. "How am I the best? I've made you cry. I made Jeonghan mad.." He said. "You-you love Jeong-daddy, r-right?" He asked, getting an automatic nod. "Y-you want u-us happ-y, right?" He received another nod. "Th-that's all we want." Jun said. "But.." "I'm n-not good with words, Daddy.. but y-you are." Jun said firmly. "Pwease, j-just talk to him?" He begged. Seungcheol wiped his eye with his palm. "But he doesn't want to talk to me." He whispered. "S-some talks are bwetter one-sided, Daddy." Jun stated. "L-like this one." Seungcheol realized that his child, a three year-old, had been leading the conversation. He expressed his worries and concerns as well as offering advice and encouraging Seungcheol. He looked throughout the child's big eyes. Those dark, red eyes that have tears streaming out of them. I caused those tears.. He said to himself. He nodded and kissed Jun on the cheek followed by the nose and lips. "Thank you, Juni.. Can.. can I just hold you for a few minutes?" He asked, biting his lip. Jun nodded and pushed Seungcheol to lay down. The adult held the child close to him, stroking Jun's hair in an effort to calm each other down. After five or so minutes, they were left with heavy swallowing. Jun nuzzled his face into Seungcheol's chest and moved his body even closer. "Jun," Seungcheol started, "I really love you." He said. "I love you, Joshua, Hoshi, Wonwoo, Woozi, and definitely Jeonghan." Jun nodded and looked at Seungcheol. "And we," He paused to swallow, "love you." He said in a whisper. Seungcheol smiled and kissed Jun's forehead. "We should join the others." He suggested. They sat up together. Seungcheol wiped the remaining tears on Jun's cheek while Jun combed Seungcheol's bangs with his fingers. "Thank you for talking with me, Jun. I really needed it." He said with a smile. "Next time, I want to talk gooder." He said playfully. "I want to speak good like Josh can." "You and Hoshi will be going to school soon. I hope you two enjoy it like Josh does." He patted Jun's shoulder before standing up. Jun hummed and followed Seungcheol down the stairs. The attic entrance is in one of the rooms that isn't occupied yet. So their exit went unnoticed by anyone. They blended into the party and smiled at each other before separating. Seungcheol can finally have an honest smile. He looked around the crowd and saw his mother feeding Jeonghan. The male obviously loved the pampering and accepted it with a smile Seungcheol knew was honest too. There was a moment when they made eye contact. Jeonghan's eyebrows went up and his eyes looked apologetic. However, the eye contact was quickly broken due to Wonwoo knocking over a tower of books he built. Jeonghan bent down to make sure Wonwoo was okay. Seungcheol nodded to himself. I will talk to you, and you will listen to me. He thought confidently. Whether you forgive me or not, I hate being lonely. He said with a determined mind. *** The next day, Seungcheol came upstairs. He spoke with his parents and they stayed over the night to help clean up in the morning. Seungcheol walked into his bedroom and looked at the young male on their bed. His hair was getting darker, his frame was getting thinner, and his limbs were stuck together in his sleeping position.
Seungcheol put a knee on the bed and leaned forward to put his hand on Jeonghan's shoulder. The younger was awake. The way Seungcheol knows is that the younger put some of his hair behind his ear.
"Jeonghan," He started, "please talk to me." He requested in a calm voice. A moment passes by and there's silence in the room. Seungcheol sighed inwardly and kept his hand on the younger. "I'm guilty," He started, "I reacted to something incorrectly. I let anger make me a bad man.
"I've disappointed you and the kids." Seungcheol said, noticing Jeonghan turn his head a bit. "Seeing Woozi every night reminds me that I need to do better. Maybe not for myself, but for my family. I miss seeing you all. I miss the times we smiled together.
"I miss the times when we all would just sit on the couch and tell stories while eating together. As a family." Seungcheol continued, wiping his silent tears. "I'd like it if you were to spend your morning with me." Seungcheol stayed silent while waiting for a response. However, he never got one. "I want to treat you for a meal. Just you and me. My parents are here to watch the kids."
Seungcheol hears a light sniffle that didn't come from himself. He watched as the younger slowly turned his body. They make eye contact. Both of their eyes are red and tears are daring to come down.
"You-you want to eat-eat with me? Even though I've ignored you all this time?" He asked, the tears finally falling.
Seungcheol nodded and held Jeonghan's hand, helping the other sit up. "I want to make things right, Jeonghan." He said, thumbing those tears on Jeonghan's cheeks. "Jun's worried about us." He whispered. Jeonghan's eyes go wide. "He-he is?" He asked.
Seungcheol simply nodded. "He encouraged me to talk to you. And I want to make us a family again. I don't want to be fake in front of the kids or my parents." He said, inching closer to Jeonghan.
The younger backed up a bit. "Let's.. let's eat then." He consented.
Seungcheol stood up and helped Jeonghan to stand. He cleared away their tears before reaching to get an outfit for Jeonghan. The younger changed and they prepared to go out. Jun looked at Seungcheol with a small smile as they walked by holding hands. "We'll be back before dark. Thanks again, Mom." Seungcheol said.
"Don't you mention it! I'm gonna make a feast for them, so you two better eat." She threw her hands and kissed Hoshi's head. "Go!" Jeonghan smiled. She hasn't changed one bit. He thought. They walk together to a park. Jeonghan notices that the older is carrying a closed basket on his arm. He realizes that the meal is a picnic and can't help but smile. He nonchalantly put his arms around Seungcheol's free arm, walking along with Seungcheol's pace.
Seungcheol looked down at the younger momentarily. He smiled and walked them further. Jeonghan noticed that there were barely any other people at the park, and definitely no one was in the meadow Seungcheol walked them to.
"Where are we?" He asked as he saw a small table set there."Just a park..I made some simple foods, but also brought something from the office." He took out a few containers that had sandwiches. However, what caught Jeonghan's attention was a portable pot. Seungcheol put it between them and took out a pack of meat that had been thawing on the way to the park. "Perfect, it's not too cold to cook now." He commented as he opened the pack.
Jeonghan smiled as he watched Seungcheol cook the meat up. "I know it's not our breaded chicken, but I like beef too." Seungcheol said as he took a bottle of water out of the basket followed by a couple of bowls with lids on them.
Jeonghan opened one of the bowls to see that it is filled with rice. "You prepared well for this." He said.
Seungcheol beamed his smile Jeonghan's way, making the younger blush. "What's up?" Seungcheol asked when Jeonghan slightly covered his mouth. Jeonghan laughed a bit and removed his hand. "I just.. I love seeing your smile." He admitted. "I missed it." He said.