fear! (1/1)

Even though the windows are dimmed, Taekwoon can feel the light on his skin when he gets up from his bed on Monday morning. It’s quite early and his two roommates have already gone to sleep.After changing his clothes and putting on his shoes Taekwoon leaves the room. He has spent the previous days with weighing up the disadvantages and advantages of seeing Hakyeon again. While deciding that it’s obviously not the best thing to do, Taekwoon has found himself denying all things that could make this meeting end in a disaster. He’s still feeling a little uneasy with his final decision, but at the same time the desire to meet Hakyeon again is too big and Taekwoon has realized that there’s nothing that can stop him from meeting the human boy again.It’s quite risky to leave the hospital early. In the morning hours the officers are stricter with zombies who want to get outside. Zombies aren’t obliged to tell the reason of their departure as long as they don’t stay away for more than one day. Anyways, the policemen obviously seem to dislike the idea of letting a zombie outside for no real reason, especially at such an uncommon hour.That’s the reason why Taekwoon gets checked at the gate this time. It doesn’t surprise him; in fact he has gone through this procedure a few times already. He has to answer a bunch questions (“Why do you need to go outside?” “For how long?”) before they let him pass, but at least he’s allowed to leave.He decides to take the longer way through narrow alleys, because he prefers the silence and the lack of suspicious gazes there. Moreover he knows that it’s better to remain unseen, especially if you don’t want to stay in the area around the hospital.Taekwoon soon reaches the point where he’s not allowed to go any further. He glances around. The old houses and the plastered ground seem familiar; this place can not far from where he has first met Hakyeon.He turns left and immediately recognizes the street. It doesn’t take him more than ten minutes to finally reach the street sign of the street where he collapsed one week ago.Slowly Taekwoon walks towards the part of the wall which is in the shadows. He’s just about to lean his back against the cold surface when he hears the rustling of hesitant steps.  “Hey”, a familiar voice greets him and somehow the corners of Taekwoon's mouth are trembling... or at least they really seem like they want to bend upwards. He turns around so quickly that he feels a little dizzy when he finally faces Hakyeon. The human boy is standing a few metres away and has his hands shoved inside his trouser pockets. He’s wearing a T-Shirt, but this time it’s plain white instead of bright red.After a moment of silence Taekwoon realizes that he still hasn’t responded.“Hi”, he finally replies. He feels like he should say something more meaningful, but his brain can’t come up with something that would fit.Hakyeon smiles at him despite the exceptionally brief greeting.“So…”, he starts. “What do you want to do?”“Uhm”, Taekwoon innerly curses at himself, because he hasn’t expected this question. Instead of wondering what to do with Hakyeon, he has only been thinking and thinking… and thinking about what could go wrong.“I was just joking”, Hakyeon laughs a little when he sees Taekwoon struggling. “You don’t live around here, right? So how would you know what to do here?”After a short while of silence, Taekwoon decides to nod and reply with a small “yes”. He’s not sure whether his answer is making sense, but it doesn’t really matter because Hakyeon is already beaming at him. It’s a pleasant beaming, Taekwoon thinks, not as obtrusive as sunlight.“Cool”, the human boy exclaims and before Taekwoon can stop him, he has already grabbed his hand. “There’s a mill a few minutes from here. We can sit in the grass and eat the meat I brought”, he points at his shoulders and it’s only now that Taekwoon notices the straps of the backpack Hakyeon has brought.“Okay”, he says and lets himself been pulled away by the other boy.While they walk towards their destination, he tries not to focus on Hakyeon’s warm fingers which are comfortably wrapped around his own. But by trying not to care about the fact that they are holding hands, he finds himself thinking about it all the time. He slowly feels the desire build to walk a little closer to Hakyeon and he’s just about to lean over when he realizes what he’s doing. He freezes.Hakyeon stops as well. There’s a confused expression on his face.“Is there something wrong?”, he asks.Taekwoon finds it really hard to pronounce words right now, but he tries his best nevertheless.“Can you- can you let go of my hand?”, he mechanically says while gaping at their intertwined fingers.It takes a few seconds until Hakyeon retreats his hand.“Sure”, he says and Taekwoon feels a little sad when he hears the disappointment out of the other’s voice.They continue to walk in silence. Hakyeon has his eyes fixed on the ground now and Taekwoon is wondering what he could do to cheer him up again.  By the time they reach the old mill, Hakyeon’s eyes are still avoiding his face. Without a word he’s pulling a blanket out of his backpack while Taekwoon is helplessly standing next to him and doesn’t know what to do. The only good thing about the situation is that Hakyeon has picked a place situated in the shadow of a huge tree.Maybe he knows that zombies feel more comfortable when it’s cold, Taekwoon thinks. However, he’s dismissing the thought quickly. Hakyeon is clearly in a bad mood; why would he want to make Taekwoon feel more comfortable?“Do you want to stand?”, Hakyeon’s harsh voice is interrupting his thoughts. It nearly hurts Taekwoon when he sees the forced smile on the human boy’s face.“I will sit”, he calmly replies and takes a seat on the blanket next to Hakyeon.When the brown haired boy still isn’t saying anything, Taekwoon gazes around to see where Hakyeon has taken him. It’s indeed a nice place. The grass is soft and green and the sound of the splashing water has a calming effect.Despite their beautiful surroundings the atmosphere stays tense. Hakyeon stubbornly stares at the green grass beneath his sneakers and Taekwoon thinks hard of something to say.“How do you know this place?”, he finally asks.Hakyeon still doesn’t turn to look at him, but at least he answers the question.“When I was a child, my mom used to take me here”, he replies while plucking at a blade of grass.“Oh”, Taekwoon remembers the discussion between Hakyeon and his dad. He didn't see the human boy's mother, th