Maybe once you embrace the bitterness, youll find it in your soul, a better place for you.  ForewordThis story is basically, following my own situation as a SONE. Two days ago, a few hours after Jessicas birthday ended, I decided to close my pretty successful Jessica/SNSD fan page on IG. And vowed to know the bare minimum of the girls activities from then on.No, I did not lose my interest in them. More or less, Im a die-hard fan. However, ever since a few months ago, Ive been seeing toxic behavior flourishing within me as a fan. To put it short, I want them to do, what I want them to do. Like a sasaeng would. And in my place, I DONT WANT THAT. For them. And definitely not for myself. I dont want to give myself a chance to be a bad and hurtful fan. So I decided, Ill have to stop being so attached.Therefore, I stripped myself of the SONE title or Golden Star. I unfollowed every fanacc related to them. The only reason Im still writing is that I have a lot of ongoings to finish. And I want to finish them. Besides, its not like I said I would never involve myself with OT9 again. I love them a lot. So much that Im sure the way theyve affected my final teenage years will stick with me for as long as I go. I bet I will still love them in my adult years. And maybe beyond that. But for their sake, and my own as the traits of toxic fans are also opposed of my belief as a person in general, I decided to take a step back, and free myself from them to a majority of this situation, leaving only a little access for me to know what theyre up to these days. To put it short, its because I love them that I dont want to turn into a toxic SONE. Thats it for my lengthy and maybe, annoying foreword haha, just thought Id tell you why I write this in the first place. Because my efforts to leave SNSD, is the bitter taste in my life right now, and I am learning to embrace it. Because I know, they dont need more toxic fans, and if I let myself have even the slightest chance to be one, they would gain another one. And I just never want to hurt any of them, be it by words, or my actions if I had stuck around as an avid fan.I will most probably stick around as a Taengsic/Jeti writer for a long time tho. Who knows tbh. I love writing. And shipping is my pastimes, kind of. I use them as my character. But the characteristics are to my own inventions. Therefore I have no serious attachments to them which explain enough why I wont be pulling away from writing off the list. Anyway, if you read this foreword all the way to the end, thank you, I had to let this out to my readers to I had thought. Kind of, lessen the pain... Please stick around with me for as long as I go as a writer here :) its, the only way Im getting myself motivated day by day...